#pining!bucky

SMUT, MDNI

564 words

It started with a kiss, but it was years in the making. When you and your roommate Bucky finally give in to the tension that's been simmering beneath the surface, all bets are off. No more rules. No more restraint. Just hands, mouths, heat, and the sweetest kind of ruin. And by morning, there's no doubt - he's yours, and you're his.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

SMUT, MDNI

18+

Pairing: X-23!reader x Bucky

Warnings: Torture, Hydra flashbacks, alluding phrases to sexual assault.

You tossed and turned in your sleep, mumbling incoherently. The stress from your flashback pressed tears from your eyes and your brow furrowed. The nightmares were strong this week, they always were after a stressful mission. This last one had been particularly hard on you. A call from the intelligence team woke up Romanoff at midnight, someone had broken into the X-Mansion, your old home. Since most of the X-men were away on an emergency call, they had asked for help from the Avengers, requesting that you come with as you knew the layout of the mansion better than anyone. Romanoff had pulled you out of bed and flew the two of you on the quinjet as fast as she could. When the two of you had reached the mansion you recognized the perpetrators as members of the Brotherhood. They ran once they realized Black Widow and you were on the scene. Their intentions for breaking into the school were unknown, but they had been violent in doing so. The students had fought back, and most of them had been injured in the fight. One of the victims had been extremely hurt, you found her body outside, it had been thrown from a window upstairs, he limbs were mangled and she was fighting to breathe. The sight of her maimed body resurfaced memories of your time incarcerated by Hydra. It reminded you of the times they had played with your body and tortured you for hours on end, just to test your regenerative abilities.

The memories haunt you in your sleep tonight, as you dream you can feel the weight of a man on top of you, pinning your arms down with your knees, crushing through the bones in your elbows as he did so. His fist clashed repeatedly with your face, cracking a new bone with every hit.

"It is working!" He shrieked your attacker, a sick grin plastered on his face. "The enhanced serum you administered, doctor, she is healing fast than ever."

You jolted awake at the sound of someone opening your door, your claws launched from your hands and feet, and you screamed as you lunged at the figure standing in the doorframe. The figure leaped into your attack, grasping your wrists in his large hands and sweeping your feet out from under you, he held you firmly to the ground.

"Hey! Hey! (y/n) it's me, it's Bucky, you're okay, come back to me." Bucky said calmly as you writhed under his grasp.

You slowed your movement as you came to, realizing the familiar face was not a threat.

"I-I'm sorry!" You sobbed as your claws retracted back into your skeleton.

"It's okay. You didn't hurt me, alright?" Bucky whispered, "It was just a nightmare, you're safe now."

You noticed his face is only inches from yours, his hands have gone from pinning your wrists to holding them to his chest, and the close vicinity makes your heart skip a beat, a sign of weakness. You scoot back quickly until your back hits your bed.

"Bucky what the fuck is wrong with you?" You shout, your eyes betray you as tears fall from your cheeks, and you brush them away, "I could have killed you! Don't come into my room when I'm like this, I can't control myself. I'll hurt you."

"I was just trying to help, (y/n). I'm not scared of you, I know what it's like, to have to live with what Hydra did to you." Bucky said, he didn't show it but your harsh words had stung, although he understood what you were doing. He had been in your position not too long ago, scared and convinced he was a monster. He knew you thought you were protecting yourself by keeping him away.

"Don't pretend you know me, Bucky" you huffed indignantly, "you had a life before Hydra, ok? I am theirs! I was born there and grew up there!"

Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line, "you're right, I don't understand everything. I was there too though, ok? So just... I don't know. You're not alone, that's it."

"Get out of my room, please." You order quietly as you crawl back into your bed, guilt grasping at you for pushing him away. You turn over and wait for him to leave, he does after a second. You listen as his footsteps retreat back to the end of the hall to his living quarters.

Bucky knows that he sounds like a jealous little child but Tony was his friend first. It was kind of a funny story actually because in the beginning he didn’t want to do anything with Tony.  Everything started when his parents send Bucky and his sisters to their uncle’s summer house in the Malibu. It was nothing fancy but girls were excited. Bucky hated every second of it, he didn’t want to leave Brooklyn and Steve. He just became friends with Steve and he didn’t want to lose his only friend, his best friend in the whole world. He was afraid of that when he comes back Steve would be forget Bucky and find new friends. His father laughs when he talks about them and says “You are only nine years old James. You will have a lot of best friends and maybe you will find another friend in Malibu. But I don’t think Steve will forget about you, and when you come back you will have lots of stories you can tell Steve.”

So Bucky goes to Malibu where he meets Tony. His uncle and Mr. Jarvis (his uncle’s old friend) tries their best, but Bucky shoots down all of their ideas with a burning hatred. Tony doesn’t understand why Bucky hates him, and he tries his best but Bucky acts like he doesn’t even acknowledge Tony’s existence. Whenever he thinks about those days Bucky kind of hates his little self, he wasted so many days he could spend with Tony.

One day Bucky doesn’t even remember why he hates Tony and starts to give him a chance and that changes everything. After that, days goes so fast Bucky doesn’t even realize summer ends and it is time to go home. He doesn’t want to leave Tony; they promise that they will write each other. Bucky goes back to Brooklyn and when Steve asks him about his summer Bucky doesn’t talk about Tony. And years go by like that, Bucky spends his summers in Malibu with Tony and they became best friends.

He doesn’t talk about Tony with Steve even though he shares everything with Steve. It just Tony is his, and when he shares it with Steve he thinks he will lose what they have with Tony. He knows it doesn’t make sense, so he talks about it with his sister. She laughs and tells him he is jealous because he is in love with Tony. But that can’t be right so he turns around and leaves her room. Maybe he shouldn’t talk about it with anyone yet.

Of course that’s when everything changes, after their second year started Tony transfers Bucky’s school. Tony is excited to meet all of Bucky’s friends who Bucky talks about all the time. Especially Steve Rogers. It doesn’t take long time to realize that even though Tony knows lots of things about Bucky’s friends they know nothing about Tony. At first Tony is a little bit heartbroken but of course he doesn’t show that. He is going to earn his place in Bucky’s group. It can’t be that hard. After a few months Tony becomes friends with almost all of them. Tony and Clint love to prank other people, with Bruce they share love for science, and with Thor they bond over their movie preferences much to everyone surprise. But Natasha surprises Bucky the most. Tony and Nat become good friends and they spend most of their time together. Bucky is happy for Tony because he knows how much Tony needs friends, but he can’t help himself to feel a little bit jealous.

There is only one person in their group who can’t stand Tony is Steve. They hate each other, whenever they talk more than ten minutes it turns into a screaming match. And it hurts Bucky; he wants to his two of best friends love each other or at least not hates each other. At this point he would be happy if they were just civil enough to hold a conversation without yelling. Honestly before he opens about his feelings to Tony he needs to fix things between his best friend and hopefully his boyfriend.

When Clint submits the wrong form and accidentally tells SHIELD that him and Bucky are engaged, Bucky decides it's a good opportunity to wind Steve up.

(Sorry this was late, life and work got busy. I hope this worth the wait.)

Bucky didn’t know all of his life would be changed while he was away from his friends for three months. His parents called it a beautiful opportunity have an adventure, but he knew it was going to be a torture. He will be stuck in a place without a wifi signal, with his sisters and grandparents. And it wasn’t fair. All of his friends will be spending their summer together while he was away spending his days in a farm. So when summer ended and the school started Bucky couldn’t be happier.

His happiness didn’t last long when he saw Steve, his best friend in the whole world, talking to Tony Stark like they know each other from the birth. Stark says something and takes Steve’s books, Bucky thinks that Steve is going to be annoyed but Steve laughs loudly and follows Stark to their class. Steve doesn’t let anyone to carry his book not even Bucky. One time Bucky tried to carry his books because he couldn’t even stand up but Steve got angry and berated him trying to coddle him.  Steve didn’t say anything about Stark while they were catching up. I will ask him later thinks Bucky when Clint drags him their class.

He knows he is looking Stark a lot but no one can blame him. Not really. Apparently Stark became an important member of their group. Natasha laughs a joke Stark makes, Clint can’t stop talking about their prank war, Thor makes double date plans with Stark. But Steve is the worst. When Steve blushes a comment Stark makes about something Steve’s eyes, Bucky realizes what is happening. They are dating thinks Bucky bitterly. He can’t believe it, Steve “I hate bullies” Rogers dating with Tony Stark. Tony is everything Steve hates. At least that’s what he thought before whatever this. Stark wasted his days either partying or hanging with wrong crowd; he annoyed teachers, always talked back, and never gets back from a fight.

Stark who he had a crush on from the moment they met.  

“Should we tell him?” says Natasha looking up from her book.

“What? Steve saved Tony from alcohol poisoning in that party you missed while you were at your grandparent’s farm. Now he became good friends with all of us. Especially with Steve. All they do is harmless flirt because Tony has a big crush on you and Steve trying to set you guys up from the moment you met and sparks flied. It would have save us from a lot of misunderstanding.” says Clint while trying to find a good channel. “Hmm. Or we can let them suffer because of their own stupidity.”  adds when he found a commercial channel who sells mostly useless thing but has the funniest commercials.

Bucky thinks (well mostly hopes) that what he saw is a one time thing. Like opposites attract kind of thing. He is not proud of it but he hopes that he misunderstood the situation. But next morning he sees Tony kissing Steve in front of his locker before going his class, and he knows that it is not going to be that easy. After that day Steve and Tony starts dating, Steve says thank you to Bucky for coming late that study session. Apparently they had crushes each other for a long time and all they need was a little bit alone time. Bucky fakes a big happy smile even though his heart breaks to pieces.

After that Steve and Tony becomes a couple that inseparable. They almost do everything together. Bucky doesn’t proud of the way he copes with his feelings. He almost dates with everyone who is willing, he parties and hides away from Steve or Tony as much as he can. Sometimes he catches Steve and Tony’s worried looks. But he doesn’t need their pities. So he doesn’t say anything. Natasha looks at them and shakes her head like she is disappointed. Bucky does what he does best and ignores her too.

They don’t break up when they graduate from high school, or Tony goes to other side of country for college, or Tony finishes college in two years and starts to work for his father company. Everybody thinks that Steve and Tony will be married when Steve gets his college degree. Steve’s parents, Bucky’s parents or even the old ladies in their neighborhood plan their wedding. But the thing Bucky wanted most in whole world when he first saw Tony and Steve happens and they broke up suddenly. Steve goes to Paris for an art program, and Tony never comes to Brooklyn anymore. Nobody knows what happened between them one day everybody was waiting for them to get married, next day they broke up and doesn’t want to even hear about each other. Life has a funny way of throwing your wishes to your face. Bucky hates himself a little more.

After two years of “the breakup” (Bucky hates it but everybody calls it that) Bucky hadn’t saw Steve or Tony in those two years, he kind of gives up his hope to saw his bestfriends together again. At least Steve kept in touch with Bucky, Tony doesn’t even bother to call him. Bucky only saw him in magazines or television. He buys every magazine has even a little bit information about Tony. He keeps them in a safe place where no one can find it.

So Bucky shocked when Tony walks in the bar Bucky owns. At first he thinks it must be a coincidence, but it is almost closing hour and only people in the bar are his friends. Natasha spots Tony first she starts waving at him even though they are the only people in the bar. She is a little bit tipsy but Bucky would never say it to her face. The others spot Tony too, and start waving him. Tony smiles at them, but he doesn’t go their side. Instead he walks toward the bar, right where Bucky is.

Bucky thought he gets over his feelings for Tony but when he walks over to him, Bucky realizes nothing is changed. He thinks that Tony is the most beautiful person he has ever seen. He is in love with Tony more than ever. Tony smiles at Bucky softly, and Bucky forgets even his own name suddenly.

“Hi James.” says Tony like they never stopped being friends.

“Hi Tony.” Than a second later he adds “So what bring you here?” He knows he sound bitter but he can’t help himself.

“Well Clint said that he would drag me down here if I miss another birthday of his.” Suddenly Bucky realizes something. None of their friends looked surprised that Tony is here. None of them drags Tony to a hug or tries to talk to him.

(sorry accidentally pressed send) how weird it is that Bucky has so many accidents(one time after one of the employees asked him that he panicked and said he does car races and that’s how his car keeps getting damaged and now tony keeps asking him about it every time he comes in) you don’t have to include this I just thought it was funny

Bucky wasn’t an idiot. Oh no he was THE idiot. Who else would lie about doing car races, just because his crushes teenager brother and cousin didn’t believe them when he had another car emergency fourth time in two weeks.  

It all started when his best friend Steve’s car need fixed immediately and Bucky volunteered to help him. Bucky was a car guy, he loved cars and everything about cars. Steve not so much. He thinks that only thing you need in a car that it takes you from A point to B point. So being an excellent friend he didn’t want to some greedy mechanic to rip off his best friend, he volunteered to take Steve’s car to mechanic himself. He found Tony’s place by accident. At first he couldn’t believe this hot young man is the best mechanic around. But after Tony starts to count everything wrong in Steve’s car and berate Bucky treating his car so badly, Bucky realizes that Tony knows what he is doing. So he clears misunderstanding and says that this is his best friend car, he would never treat his car likes that. Tony start talking again, and needless to say Bucky is charmed.

Tony is everything Bucky wanted in a man; he is funny, intelligent, hot and good with his hands. So he tries to find new ways to go back to Tony’s place. This time he takes his own car to Tony. Is he trying to show off? Yes. But who could blame him. At this point he was desperate. He needed to do something other than nodding Tony’s ramblings. Whenever Bucky is away from Tony, he was either daydreaming about Tony or looking ways to go back to his place again. His friends quick to catch on what is going on with Bucky. After that they start to tease him about it. Steve is the only one who tries to encourage him to open up his feelings to Tony. But he can’t do that, at least not yet.

Third time he went to Tony’s place, he meets Tony’s brother and cousin. Apparently when they weren’t doing whatever teenagers do in their free time, they are hanging out with Tony. After seeing Tony’s relationship with Harley and Peter, Bucky realizes that he is slightly in love with Tony. Next time he goes to Tony’s workshop, Peter and Harley were ready to their interrogation. They ask about everything. What Bucky does as a job? Where does he live? What he does in his free time? Star Wars or Star Trek? Iron Man or Captain America? Tony tries to save him but he is too late. They ask the question doomed Bucky. How Bucky can have so many accidents for a guy who works as a security consultant? Bucky panics, he never thought about it.  So he lies and says that he is doing car races. Tony looks surprised and starts to ask him questions. But Harley and Peter don’t believe a single thing he says.