#pillbugged

Can’t exactly recommend being in Times Square for a World Cup day or right when Argentine soccer fans were having a rally because it was so hard to leave the Palace. And shoutout to everyone who stage doored despite the still atrocious air quality. Today I was very Max brained (boo tomatoes). also in awe of everyone else (of course). I also was loving looking at all the small details in the sets, but thats another post tbh. Anyways, slightly out of order thoughts below! Ama 

sitting so close to the stage does in fact change your brain chemistry. I thought maybe my TLB obsession might be slightly cured, but it's only intensified from feeling so immersed in everything. Have to Have You killed me, I'm now a ghost.

someone by me somehow slept through most of act 1, including Have to Have You. How? Hope he’s doing well after the nap.

I love getting to watch the relationships the ensemble characters have with each other!

I didn't realize that Jennifer Duka and Miguel Gil got to be in the ensemble for HTHY till I was basically in the TLB pit. also the way Michael and David scope each other out... and Star and David are literally rage baiting poor Michael by almost kissing. I think I glimpsed Max somewhere but I was also ascending out of my seat so who knows.

Lucy being superstitious enough to have a rabbit’s foot on her keys is so in character. Can someone at a stage door ask if she’s into crystals? Will be headcanoning regardless 

I found the missing board so fascinating to look at up close. The Jesus sticker was Dwayne probably.

Grace’s version of Vasquez was extra devastating (link to more thoughts. Might do a separate post on this tbh). the parallels to the other sibling relationships in this show :(

Max is WEIRDDD with Pete in so many ways. He's oddly touchy and paternal (not in a normal way) with him and he wants to parade him around to show everyone, especially the Lost Boys, how he's a paragon of normal and what they should be. And during "I’m gonna miss him terribly." and talking about his replacement being Lucy, Max is already looking at Lucy as I only describe as hungrily

also have to note that I love how 1. Max's suits are tailored to be large on him, which is meant to make him less threatening. What sort of vampire controlling Santa Carla wouldn't tailor his suits? (more thoughts on this btw) 2. Paul Alexander Nolan carries himself in the role. Everything seems so calculated yet accidental in such a good way

Didn’t realize till now that the comic book storeowner is sketching out on the boardwalk. Need to know what he’s drawing

The way that Max says "Pete" when right before the Lost Boys are about to have a revenge snack, knowing that he's probably about to be eaten but he just doesn't care because he's focused on the Emersons (especially Lucy) and what they could mean for him.

also the way he talks to the Lost Boys! can't be his children if he's trying to be Respectable

Benjamin Pajak is so delightful as Sam and the interaction he has with Michael about their dad are heartbreaking, especially the expressions LJ makes (also massive shout out to Michael's shorts, Shorts you will always be famous to me)

Max just brushing past Lucy saying that Pete didn't show up to work because Pete has already left his mind! And god is he manipulative

I love Star so much and Now Forever's harmonies killed me. They both desperately want freedom, maybe they'll find it in each other, and the way they're going about it is at least somewhat toxic and codependent. I need Star's clothes NOW

also the way that she knows that allowing Michael into her life is only going to hurt both of them and yet she allows herself the joy anyways. Yes Michael might not've been able to get out with drinking, but maybe selfishly Star wanted someone who understand, and Michael was already trying to

I cried during Belong to Someone and The Secret Comes Out. That's all. also Superpower, I love that song so much. Superpower detractors, I'm not really sorry.

The way that Max looks at Lucy in the lead up to singing Wild is insane btw. Paul Alexander Nolan's expressions as Max! He wants to eat her, possess her, strip the best parts of her away and mold her into what he wants her to be. She's a hippie? I can fix her. The way Max possessively grabs on to her at the end of Wild. My god?? But Lucy is also not noticing the red flags because finally for the first time in a long time, someone is spoiling her and showing her affection. Yet there's still the promise of violence underneath.

Shoshana's expressions at Max! She knows there's something off at some points but, like Michael, is looking for someone who will fulfill her after the trauma of her husband and Phoenix. And she forgets to look for the red flags when she feels a sense of freedom and adulthood :(

guys did I say how much I love Superpower

we do NOTTT talk enough about the painting in the background of Max and Lucy at dinner. Does it get any more obvious?? RUN AWAY Lucy please.

The way Max gazes at David and how David looks back in If We Make it Through the Night. ok then!

He cares about Pete to a degree, but his shifting priorities are in fact shifty. A very vampiric notion to view every person and relationship as fleeting if it doesn't serve you in the current moment. Because more so than seeing himself in Pete as a "model citizen" (if you subscribe to the whole Pete as Max's mentee headcanon, especially in contrast to the Lost Boys and David in particular) of Santa Carla, Max desperately wants a "real" family. While seeking out a mother for a "real" nuclear family, he doesn't care to maintain the relationships he already has. All of which is really interesting if you harken back to the address Reagan is making in the beginning of the musical.

if he'd still been alive in the 90s, he might've cried when Barry Goldwater (after leaving the senate in '87 of course, which he was probably also quite sad about) decided that gay people were okay actually. similarly, he would've loved the Reagan movie with Dennis Quaid from a few years ago. would've been sat there for opening night actually.