Tracing the Evolution of Tin's Headspace through Episode 8
or, How I Found A Little Hope
(I was trying to sort through the episode from both Phob's and Tin's specific perspectives, and identifying what Tin's experience of Phob is, completely separate from our omniscient audience insight into Phob's point of view. Isolating Tin's narrative blind spots ironically gave me a big moment of clarity that I decided was too important not to share.)
(I really hope y'all aren't sick of ep 8 meta at this point... or of me never shutting up about this show. Okay here we go!)
The Initial Gut Punch - Betrayal
Tin begins the episode in pretty much pure confusion - he doesn't know anything. What has happened? Where is Phob? Is his family okay? What does this all mean?
Until Tin goes to Nual's house, and hears the truth from Phob in truly the worst way:
"We are not dogs, mae! We don't have to be grateful for whatever scraps they throw our way. We're all human, including the royals. We deserve the same dignity and respect. We shouldn't have to bow to them forever!" ... "I did what I had to do."
This is so different from the way this conversation would have been framed if it were Phob breaking the news to Tin himself. Nual, as we are all aware, is a trauma-informed royalist; she literally cannot see Phob's ideology as anything other than dangerous ingratitude. They owe their lives, livelihoods, and every good thing they've ever gotten, in her view, to the benevolence of their masters; a benevolence only earned by staying firmly bowed under their heels. Phob's words to his mother are forceful because that's the only way he'll ever get through to her - by trying his best to shatter the warped lens of her worldview.
But - unknowingly, he shatters Tin, instead.
Every happy memory he has of Phob since their reunion - every steadfast promise, every moment of affection, every passionate declaration - has it all just been a lie?
I don't know if I believe that Tin would assume that it was all a ruse, that Phob never loved him - his own feelings run too deep to characterize Phob that uncharitably. But this violent reframe of their relationship, of Phob's recent desperate reassurances, of Tin's willingness to leave everything behind - it's a gut punch, a deep and sudden knife in his heart.
"Why, Phob? Why?!"
Twisting the Knife - Phob at the Palace
Their next encounter does not make anything better. Tin has already begun to blame himself, thinking the current political chaos is his fault; all because he was too weak and too blind. I think he has a lot of questions at this point about what exactly they were to each other, but he is now firmly of the belief that Phob betrayed and used him.
This time, what Tin overhears is Phob's reaction to the disgust and resentment from his own family. Vasin and especially Chat are hugely symbolic of the flaws and prejudices of the old regime, and Phob has to confront them for it:
"Noblemen like you are the very reason the old regime had to fall. It upheld a system that allowed those born into nobility to oppress others and take advantage of people regardless of their ability. They relied solely on the privilege of their birth while bleeding the nation dry."
Tin knew, to a certain extent, that Phob felt this way. But hearing these words in this moment just emphasizes how personal this is for Phob. How much his own family (and therefore, Tin himself) is complicit, and, even worse, how it drove Phob to see them as the enemy.
Phob finally sees Tin, knows he overheard, and reacts with sudden anxiety, desperate to talk to him. We the audience know why - we know Phob genuinely loves Tin and hasn't seen him and wants so badly to have a chance to explain himself - but that same desperation could read out of context as a liar anxious because he's been caught. Tin only gets more evidence that he has been betrayed, and furthermore, more conviction that he was the weak link that allowed for this upheaval.
"I was so stupid. It all happened because of me... I'm sorry."
Both Better And Worse - The Letter
So, with his father certain that Phob was only ever using him, and his personal, professional and familial worlds all in chaos, Tin has been cut off from Phob. Deep in his grief and heartbreak over the gulf between what he thought they were and what Phob chose to do, Tin has lingering questions and no answers.
But then, Siri delivers the letter. And finally, albeit one-sidedly, Phob is able to explain himself to the man he loves, with words he actually chooses.
"I know what I did shattered your trust in me beyond forgiveness. There were times I wondered if everything could have been different had I chosen otherwise. But I had no choice. What I saw was never just about you and me. It was about countless people who were never given the chance to choose their own lives. I wanted to see a world where no one would have to suffer simply because they were born beneath someone else. And I still believe that when our country truly changes, when everyone is free to choose their own path, our love will no longer have to remain a secret. I am not asking you to forgive me. I am not asking you to understand me right away. I just want you to know that I've loved you every single day, and I always will."
It's both better and worse than Tin thought - because he finally has confirmation that Phob did and does love him after all. Phob's choices were made taking that love into account, because Tin will always be Phob's exception and motivation.
Why is that better? Well, Tin finally understands that Phob wasn't just using him out of some long con of spite. What they had was and is real for Phob. He's loved Tin every day of his life, and that will never, ever change.
Why is that worse? Ohhh, because it means this gets so much more complicated, for both of them. Phob did use and betray Tin - because of and in spite of his love for his Prince. Phob's dreams and ambitions and visions of the future are grand enough to want to free and save everyone, including Tin, even if it meant hurting him deeply, even if it meant destroying his trust. Phob made his devastating choices, and still retained a desperate hope that he could change the world enough not just for everyone else, but for the two of them.
(Quick tangent - A part of me wants to connect this letter to Tin's, from Episode 3 - but I think they are very different.
Tin, in his letter, lied. He did it out of love, his willingness to sacrifice his own happiness; to liberate Phob and give him what he thought would be the best possible future. It was designed to cut Phob just enough to cleanly sever their bond and send them off on their different trajectories, letting Tin be the only one to carry and bury the truth. That failed - it hurt Phob deeper than anything, and made him determined to find Tin again. But, regardless, Tin's intention was for separation to set them free.
Phob, in his letter, tells the truth. It hurts just as much, but Phob is trying to salvage their shared happiness from the wreckage of his choices. He wants both his feelings and his reasoning to be understood, while making space for the pain he caused and the lack of forgiveness he anticipates. It's unflinchingly honest and layered where Tin's was detached and simple.
So, yeah. Very different.)
How does Tin respond to this? Ah, now we're getting to the heart of it...
Tin says nothing, and sends Phob his ring.
Dear reader, I need to highlight a small but important detail - Tin isn't giving his ring back, he is giving it up. Literally - Tin is the one who bought the rings for them; but he isn't asking Phob to return his, he is sacrificing his own on purpose. (Let's come back to this thought later.)
Acceptance, and Sacrifice
The circumstances of their meeting in the final scene are not ideal - Tin has been forced to give up his position, and Phob is devastated to be so powerless to stop the collateral damage he's causing for the one person he wanted to be the exception.
Tin and Phob finally, finally meet face to face in the final scene of the episode, and are able to talk face to face. I want to bring up a few important lines:
Tin says "There's no need [to advocate for me]. I'm no longer of any use to you." Oooooof. This line right here tells me that, although Phob has explained himself, although Tin understands him a lot better, Tin is not yet emotionally removed from the betrayal he experienced. There's still a wound there, even if Tin is not trying to hurt Phob so much as he is trying to erase himself.
"Phob, if you could turn back time, would you still do the same?" / "...I would." Tin has read Phob's letter, but he needs to hear Phob speak the words out loud. He needs Phob to say that he wouldn't give up his convictions just for Tin. Phob confirms that this is bigger than the two of them, and worth the pain it has caused. Agonizing, but also, confirmation that Phob won't lie to make Tin feel better. He loves him enough to believe Tin deserves his painful honesty.
"I understand. I appreciate your honesty. I believe you... Phob, I understand your intentions. I understand what you stand for. And I truly believe that you want what's best for this country." Tin gets it. He's fucking heartbroken, but it's not anger, and it's not forgiveness. It's understanding and acceptance without reconciliation. That part matters.
From here, Tin chooses to leave, to say goodbye. "We are two people who can't be in love." Why?
Upon first watch, I questioned it. If Tin understands, now, why can't they just... be together? Why can't Tin trust Phob and choose his own happiness?
Tin knows Phob, accepts Phob for who he is. He sees Phob's convictions and hopes, but that doesn't mean Tin shares them. The subtext says, "I know you believe in what you say, and I really want you to bring your vision of the future to life. But I cannot see how this chaos is supposed to turn into something good. I love you, but I don't believe you can save me from the fallout."
It's like Phob is climbing a steep, rocky mountain. He's planned for this, he has all the gear he needs, and he knows if he can survive the arduous climb, there will be a beautiful sunrise and a brand new day that he (and everyone! everyone!) will see from the peak. A glorious day will unfold, if they can just make it there.
Tin is with him, on the same mountain. All his ropes have been cut. All his gear has been lost. Phob seems sure, but Tin only feels the rocks slipping under his feet, the sweat on his palms, the avalanche rumbling somewhere ahead of them. His whole world is in turmoil, and he has no rulebook for this, nothing to fall back on. He can't care about the summit if he won't survive the fall. If he ties himself to Phob, with blind faith - there's no real guarantee he won't doom them both.
After looking at this scene, and these lines, one more thing jumped out at me, from the ep 9 preview. It's in a different context entirely, the stakes have completely changed. But this -
"I don't want to be an obstacle that forces you to choose between me and what you believe in. I will watch your success from afar."
is exactly the same as this -
"He is a soldier with a bright future. I will never cause him any damage. I will never let him ruin his future because of me."
Dear reader, the realization hit me like a brick. This is so STAGGERINGLY in character for Tin. This is a familiar song, dear reader!! We've heard this tune! We have been here before.
And THAT gives me - unexpectedly - so much hope.
I don't believe things will play out the same way they did, necessarily - we're in a very different context now, a different world. But if they've tread this ground before, they can do so again. They can overcome their own flaws and failings. They can find their way back to each other, in spite of everything. And maybe this time, all the old rules won't matter anymore.
Tin didn't give the ring back, he gave the ring up. Sacrifice. Why? Phob has redefined what the highest heights of his achievement can be, and all Tin can see is all the ways he's going to weigh Phob down in reaching for them. So he'll try to walk away - out of love, out of the deepest love in his heart - to give Phob, once again, the brightest future that he possibly can.
Their world is going to have to change - and so are they - if they are going to escape this cycle and come out the other side. I can't say what it will take, but I can say we know the words to this song. All we can do now is... face the music.









