#phi dff

Like am I mentally yelling at Non to forget about the movie, ditch these shitty 'friends', be honest with Phee, report Kru Keng and to move to Phee's school? Yes, I am. Do I understand why he doesn't do any of those things? Yes, I do.

He's a teenager who's mentally ill, isolated, with low self esteem and coming from a place of poverty.

As a kid, I was also part of a group of 'friends' who were actually bullies. Although things never went nearly as far as they do in DFF, I can get where Non's coming from. When you're that desperate for acceptance and to be a part of a group (however shitty it may be), and when perhaps they're not even always shitty, just enough so to make you consider staying around, you'll stay around in the hope things get better.

Non's family are poor - to the point of taking out loans for New - and he's already brought trouble to their door due to the money laundering scheme, as well as to his parents' relationship. In contrast to New - who's implied to be the golden child - Non likely feels like he's brought nothing but trouble and misery to his family.

As someone who's mentally ill and on medication, I wouldn't be surprised if he felt ashamed of his mental illness as well, and felt like that already made him a 'burden' to his family. Disclaimer that I don't know how mental illness is treated in Thailand specifically, but as someone from an East/Southeast Asian background, I do feel like in general, mental illness is something that still has a more of a stigma to it in Asia than it does in the West (not that there isn't stigma here too). Like, I would never tell my mum I'm in therapy because I feel like she wouldn't truly understand, and might even blame herself for me going. From her point of view, only 'crazy' people, someone with something seriously wrong with them or someone suffering from severely traumatic event would go to therapy.

When Non got taken in by the police, Phee talked to his dad to get him released, putting himself in potential trouble with his dad and potential future trouble with the police if this comes under any further scrutiny.

Non says time and time again he doesn't want to be a burden to anyone, and he already feels like he's been a burden to his family and Phee. He knows his family can't afford the debt, and he doesn't want to trouble Phee further. So when Kru Keng offers him money in exchange for sex, even though he knows what Kru Keng's doing is wrong, even though he doesn't want to lie and 'cheat' on Phee (and don't tell me it's 'cheating'; again, this is an adult in a position of power grooming a vulnerable youngster), he believes he'd be bringing his troubles to his loved ones and doesn't want to be even more of a 'burden.' So he has sex with Kru Keng.

And then Phee's reaction to finding out. Does he react badly and then say something really awful to Non by telling him to get lost and die? Yes. Do I understand why he reacted like that? Yes! Again, he's a teenager, and probably one in his first serious relationship, and reacting out of anger and hurt, without full details of the situation or understanding of why what Kru Keng's doing is incredibly wrong (even if Non seems to be 'consenting').

Unfortunately, in cases of real life teacher-student grooming, it's not uncommon for the reaction of students (especially teenagers) to not be one of 'oh, that's fucked up, the teacher's a monster, poor student [x]' but for the victim to be ridiculed or slut-shamed by some quarters, especially if it's seen as 'consensual.'

In episode 7, we see both Jin and Phee react to Non badly after finding out that Non has had sex with Keng. And the way they both react to that information is... not good.

Phee reacts to the knowledge that Non has been "cheating on" him (I'd like to remind people that Non was coerced so we as the audience shouldn't label it that way, but from Phee's POV that's what it was) by telling Non to "get lost and die"

And he says this despite knowing that Non has su*cidal tendencies and tried to take his own life what seems like mere days before this.

I feel like people gloss over this because they understand why Phee is angry. And I understand too. But the point still stands that Phee basically tells Non to go k!ll himself despite knowing that the consequences of that could be dire... and permanent. If Non actually d!es, disappears, or heaven forbid actually kills himself after this? I don't doubt that Phee will carry the guilt of those final words for the rest of his life, and think of what he could've and should've done differently to prevent that unfortunate fate...

On the other hand, Jin. Who reacts to seeing Non sleeping with someone by recording him. Jin isn't shown to post the video himself, but he still made that snap decision in anger. Copper has said Jin reacted this way because he thought Non was cheating on his boyfriend...

But regardless of his intentions, the fact remains that the video he recorded is the one that was later released. And you can see on his face even in the past that he feels bad about it, feels guilty for his part in what happened. And in the present you see that same guilt...

There's a parallel drawn between these two boys. The two leads of this series who have revolved around Non this entire time. One with a crush, one, his boyfriend. Both dealing with harsh emotions and dragged into the mess that's been created by the others. They both react in anger to the same situation, both do something INCREDIBLY damaging to Non in a snap moment of anger. And both of them, I'm sure, carry that guilt into the future...

It changes Jin from a happy, smiley person into one who is serious and harsh to his friends, who has a damaged relationship with those closest around him, who calls himself a coward and wants to run to another country and never come back.

And it changes Phee from someone who whole-heartedly loves and asks the person he loves to be his boyfriend... to someone who can't get the words out, who seems afraid of commitment. Because he could get hurt? Or because he could hurt them again?

The impact of these actions have changed both boys in the present, and the parallels in the episode are so striking and interesting... and I don't think people talk about it enough. There's potential for a compelling story about these two learning to heal and forgive themselves.