#phffcentral

“it should work in about a minute or two.” He said with a compassionate smile. “what brought this on?” he asked, sitting on the edge of our bed, feeling her pulse of her free hand.

“she met up with the team she was with in Africa, apparently one is writing a book and will publish it. she was fine when she came home, but then she started crying and.” I rambled, looking down at her as she started to calm down and rested her head in the crook of my neck.  

“I understand.” He nodded his head, still holding her wrist between his fingers. “Does she have any engagements in the following two days?” he asked. “tomorrow afternoon we’re supposed to meet with the invictus participants.” I replied, looking at the doctor.

“I really advice for her to rest in the next two days.” He said. “the drug I gave her will make her woozy for a day and she’ll be exhausted after a panic attack this severe, even her muscles are cramped.” He said, holding up her fingers which were still in a claw like form. She’d really had one of the worst panic attacks I’d ever seen. She’d had a couple, but this one was going on the first place.

I’d never seen her like this. “she won’t” I said full of conviction. She’d be resting tomorrow. You could be a bit tired after a panic attack, I knew from experience, but this one had been extreme and she’d been drugged to top it off.

“I’d recommend a friend or Kate or William watch her tomorrow while you’re gone. I wouldn’t be surprised she’ll have a couple of bad days after this, but I don’t have to explain how PTSD works.” He smiled sadly at me. “I know.” I nodded my head. “I’ll make sure she isn’t alone.” I told him.  

“I’m sorry.” Liv said, the first thing since the panic attack, as she started repeating it. “no, Merida. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I tried to assure her, rubbing her back. “I didn’t protect them; I didn’t do my job.” She said, shaking her head no as she started staring out in front of her.

“You want me to give her something to sleep?” Tim asked. “could you?” I asked, hoping she’d have a good night sleep, but I doubted that would be the case, I knew nightmare would keep us both awake, not that I minded, she’d sat up with me multiple times as well after a nightmare, but after such a panic attack I didn’t want her to have another one after a nightmare.

He gave her something in the other shoulder this time. “I’ll leave something here if she should wake up and have another panic attack.” The doctor said, placing something on my nightstand. “thanks.” I smiled when I felt she started relaxing in my arms.

“your welcome Harry.” He smiled. When he left I laid her down, pulling her against my chest, holding her through the night and every time she started getting restless, needless to say I didn’t get much sleep that night.

When the morning arrived, I got up and pulled out my phone, calling Will. I wouldn’t leave her until someone was here with her and I need to get Miguel and our team informed of what happened last night, and Jason would have to announce that Liv wasn’t joining me today.

“We’ll be there in a sec.” Will said, ending the call. A couple of minutes later Will and Kate came in our room. “how is she?” Kate asked, sitting down on the bed beside Liv, stroking her hair in a sisterly manner. Those two were really like sisters, it still surprised me how close they were.

“I think the medication the doctor gave her is still working.” I told her with a sad smile, before looking back at my wife. “what happened?” will asked, looking worriedly at Liv as I started explained what had happened.

“are you sure that’s such a good idea?” Will said. “That’s their choice Will. Liv said she won’t read it. that she can’t read it. I get it that they all need to process this differently and all, so I won’t stop Steven. And she won’t read it anyway” I explained, siding with my wife, if she wanted this for that team she’d been with I’d support her, but I didn’t know if I could see her go through that again.

The doctor arrived just before Will and I were heading to the office and after making sure she was alright he left something to help her sleep in the coming days and to help with possible further panic attacks.

***

“and she really isn’t able to join today’s activities?” Miguel asked, turning to tim, thank god we’d asked him to come along. “no Miguel she’s in no state to do any engagement. The chance at getting another panic attack is very big. She’ll be beyond exhausted. I’m giving her two days of prescribed rest.” Tim told Miguel.

“I’ll join Harry.” Will said, looking at Miguel. “you sure?” Miguel asked. “yea, I can’t join him in Los Angeles as far as I know, let me join him now.” Will smiled at me.

“alright.” He started, looking around our team. “Jason, make an announcement that Liv will not be doing any engagement and that William will join Harry today.” He started directing people as we started dealing with last night’s event.

Minutes after the announcement the Phone’s started ringing insanely crazy. The media with the question if the Duchess was pregnant with our first child and if that was the reason for her falling out.

“what did the announcement say?” I asked, looking at Jason. “The Duchess of Sussex won’t be joining The Duke of Sussex due to personal reasons.” Jason quoted. “you want me to announce the reason?” he asked. “no, she doesn’t have to deal with that, it’s fine as it is.” I told him. “I’m going to check up on my wife.” I announced, getting up.

when the calls on my phone started: “Is Liv pregnant?” Liliane, Liv’s gran asked. “No, Lilian. She’s not. Last night she had a horrible panic attack and she isn’t able to join me today.” I told her, when I saw a angry Liz approaching, I motioned for Will to explain as I started explaining over the phone. I assured her that I’d let her call when she woke up.

just as the call ended it was Mia’s turn. ‘this is going to be a great day.’ I thought to myself.

“Mia?” I answered with a smile. “don’t play dumb with me. Is my best friend pregnant and you didn’t tell me?” she asked in a tone I better not screw with, what was it with this bunch. They were incredible protective of each other. That was it.

“No she’s not.” I replied with a tired sigh. Having been awake almost all night, having to deal with it in the office and now the calls and I haven’t even gone to the engagement. With another sigh I started explaining what had happened. When liv woke up she’d kill me for not letting her join me today and for telling everyone.

She hated the fuss and she was definitely getting that. “We’re on our way.” She said, ending the call. “We?” I asked, looking at my phone. ‘thanks for letting me ask further questions.’ I thought to myself.  

if she wasn’t going to kill me before, she sure was about to kill me now.

***

Liv POV

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was how sore I felt all over. Like I’d run a marathon, but all my muscles were in agony. The second thing I noticed was that Harry wasn’t with me in bed, I couldn’t feel his body heat next to mine.

And the third I noticed was a person breathing in the room, fluttering my eyes open, the light filtering through the window making me squeeze my eyes shut again. “Liv?” I heard a female voice say, opening my eyes again this times less of an annoyance, I noticed Kate sitting in the arm chair in the corner of our bedroom.  

“Kate?” I asked, surprised to see her sitting there, her legs pulled up, cup of tea in her hand as she looked at me. “hey, you’re awake?” she stated, like it was the best news of the day and then last night’s events came flooding back, my breathing increasing as I thought about it.

“hey, it’s okay.” Kate said, getting up and sitting down on the edge of the bed. “you remember what happened?” Kate asked. “yea.” I admitted in a sadly enough tone. “Where’s Harry?” I asked, pushing myself up and pulling my knees to my chest as if it could protect me from the state I found myself in, it had been so long since I had a panic attack, I was doing so well. And now this.

The memories of what happened in both Africa and back in Belgium for all those years as clear as if it happened yesterday.  

“he’s with Miguel and the team,” Kate said, placing her hand on my arm resting on my knees. “the doc has given you 2 days of mandatory rest for now. They are discussing what is supposed to happen this afternoon.” Kate explained. “I’m not joining him?” I said, more a statement, then a question.

And for once I was happy that the choice had been made in my place. I didn’t feel like meeting people like this, not in the way I felt, tormented by memories of the past, sore as hell from the panic attack and I was still on edge as the slightest sound made me jump.

“no, I’m guessing they will have made an announcement by now, they shouldn’t be long now.” Kate told me, squeezing my arm. I sat looking around the room, and I didn’t feel very comfortable, like the walls were closing in on me, Kate’s present on one hand comforting me, like it was the only anchor keeping me from another panic attack, but on the other hand I wanted her gone, cause I didn’t know how much longer I could keep up the façade.

The façade of being fine and not being on the verge of another freak out. I nearly jumped out of my skin as the door to our room opened. “shhh.” Kate shushed, her hand squeezing my arm. Harry appeared through the door. “merida.” He said in the same tone Kate had taken earlier.

“Harry.” I whispered, glad to have him here with me, his presence soothing my fears more then I though was possible. Kate stood up, Harry replacing her, his hand carefully reaching for my arm. “how are you feeling?” he asked, as I nearly jumped out of my skin as the door closed, Kate leaving the room.

“horrible.” I admitted, sadly enough as I felt the tears sting at the back of my eyes. Looking down in shame at how weak I was being. “hey, come here.” He said, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in his lap. “it’s okay. I’m here.” He said, his hand running up and down my back.

He started explaining what had been announced and the changed plans for the day. “great, now everyone is thinking I’m pregnant.” I muttered, hating that nothing in my life could stay private, I quite enjoyed being a Duchess, meeting people and bringing attention to causes close to my heart. But this, nothing could stay private, maybe if we hadn’t planned an engagement today this could have stayed under wraps.

But sadly enough, no. and no the rumours were going through the roof, my breathing quickening when I started panicking again at the thought of how this ‘day off’ would end, what the outfall would mean in rumours.

And then he told me my best friend was on the way and then did me in, I didn’t want to see anyone, not in the state I was. It had already been enough that our entire team and the Queen probably knew about my panic attack at how pathetic I was for just thinking about the past.  

“Merida, shh. It’s okay. I can tell them that, I won’t let anyone up here if you don’t want to.” He shushed, his head running over my back. When I didn’t calm down he reached for something on my nightstand and handed me a tablet. “here it’ll help you calm down.” He whispered, kissing the side of my head.

Normally I wouldn’t take medication, but it did seem very inviting as to avoid today and to avoid the worriedness of everyone. “why can’t I just forget everything?” I asked, after having swallowed the tablet. “it’s a process Merida, we both know that.” Harry said, both my hands in his free hand.  

“I doesn’t make me love you any less, Merida, you know that. I’ll always be here when it happens, just like you are always here for me. We’re in this together.” He assured me, his hand on my back circling in a soothing motion.

“I just want to forget.” I admitted a tear slipping down my cheek. “I know, I wish I could take it all away merida. I really do.” He whispered against the side of my head. His breath against the side of my face, the warmth of being cradled in his arms and his smoothening caress of my back on top of the tablet I’d just taken, making me feel sleepy.

My eyes dropping. “go to sleep, Merida. Kate will stay with you when we go away this afternoon, you won’t be alone.” He whispered, kissing the side of my head.

***

Harry’s pov.

Finally,. I thought to myself, liv’s breathing having evened out her one hand fisting my shirt as if she didn’t want me to go anywhere, her other hand intertwined with mine in her lap. “I love you.” I whispered against her head, kissing the top of her head as I got up and laid her down, pulling the sheets over her.

Giving her one final kiss I slipped out of the room, I knew Mia was on her way and I was still questioning the ‘we’ part. But liv had said that she didn’t want to see anyone and I’d send them back. Liv was the most important part of my life and it killed me to see her this hurt, having gone through the torment once wasn’t good enough.

I hated PTSD, both of us having that horrible diagnose, it was like our minds wanted to punish us even further and for what, having protected people, shouldn’t the opposite be done, our memories swiped away as thank you.

“her friends are here.” Will said as he brought me out of my train of thought as I rested against the wall outside of our bedroom. “great.” I muttered. “you want me to tell them to leave?” he asked, coming to stand next to me.

“I’ll do it. she’s asleep, I have her a tablet.” I whispered. “God I hate this; it hurts me to see her like that.” I admitted, turning my face towards Will. “I know.” He accepted, squeezing my shoulder. “but only you can relate to what she’s going through, you think it didn’t hurt me half the time to hear you screaming in the middle of the night when you came back from Afghanistan.” Will said, looking at me.

“she’ll be fine. It’s liv we’re talking about.” Will said a sympathetic smile on his face. “I know.” I whispered. “this is just a setback,” Will explained. “I know, but that doesn’t make it any better.” I argued. “No, it doesn’t.” he agreed. “Come, let’s go down.” Will said, squeezing my shoulder as I followed him, dragging my feet down, my ear tuned to anything that would be happening upstairs.

‘for crying out loud.’ I thought to myself when I entered my living room, seeing Mia, Glen, Daphne, Jens and Danny sitting on the couch. “how is she?” Mia asked, getting up. “she’s asleep again.” I told them, walking through to the kitchen. “Is she jumpy?” Kate whispered, handing me a cup of tea. “yea, I was hallway to calling Evans again.” I told her.

“can we see her?” Mia asked as everyone had followed me in the kitchen. “she doesn’t want to see anyone.” I told them, doing my duty as her husband, she’d asked me to keep everyone away, she didn’t want to see anyone, and I would protect her.

“come on.” Mia said, starting to object. “We’re worried; we just want to make sure she’s okay.” She added, not having slept very well and the stress of last night, having seen her panic attack, the worst one I had seen so far made me feel on edge, that together with the helplessness of seeing her in such a state, made me a bit less friendly.

“you think I can’t take care of my wife?” I asked her, an angry tone to my voice, I knew she didn’t mean it like that, but I couldn’t help it, I was angry at seeing her like that, angry at what had happened in Africa and Belgium, not having been able to help her.

And the fact that they were questioning my ability to take care of them, my own wife, the woman I loved more then life itself. “she didn’t mean it like that;” Jens defended. “we’re just worried about her.” He added. “yes, so am I, I can’t do anything to help her. You know how helpless I felt last night, not being able to calm her down. Having to call the family’s doctor to calm her down with medication. But with this I can help. She asked me not to see anyone and I’ll make sure I can do that for her.” I told them in a tone that didn’t leave any room for discussion.

“but.” Daphne said. “let’s just get herself together. I’m sure you want the best for your friend, just honour her wish” Will said in a directing tone. “Fine, but we’re not leaving,” Mia crossed her arms, stubbornly, her other friends soon following her.

“you’ll be going away, so.” Mia started, but Kate beat her to it, the four of us really were a team, we had to for what gran had in mind for us. and if liv was here in any of our places she’d be doing the exact same thing.

We had to be a team, the four of us alone were in the same boat, could only relate to what it was to live this life.  “I’ll be staying here taking care of her. I already did this morning when they were in a meeting.” She said, nodding her head at me and Will.

“so you’re going to kick us out?” Mia said in defiance, what was it with these women. “I’m just doing what Liv asked me to do.” I told them, looking each and every one in the eye, that’s when Ed came in. “Sir, I’m here to debrief you one our event of this afternoon.” He said, looking at me, acting very formal when he saw we were having company.

“Thanks Ed,” I smiled at him. “May I ask how her Royal Highness is feeling?” he asked, I raised my eyebrow at him, why he was acting so formal all of a sudden, but then again, he always did when they’re were strangers around.

“She’s sleeping at the moment. She just needs some time.” I told him with a smile, before turning to the Five musketeers and adding: “and space.”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine, Sir. It’s the Duchess we’re talking about.” He smiled, he knew her well enough now as well, having seen our dynamic from close by from the moment we got engaged, nearly a year ago.

In the end I couldn’t get them to leave but I did manage to keep them downstairs, only Kate was allowed to go upstairs, for that I was happy, I wasn’t happy with the fact that I had to leave her behind, I’d rather have stayed by her side while she was this fragile, ‘if she heard me say that, I would definitely be a dead man’ I thought to myself.

But when I finally crawled into bed that night, pulling her close to me, apparently she’d taken another tablet this afternoon, wanting to avoid having to face anyone. I knew she was hiding with it. hiding in the fact that it could put her to sleep and avoid facing anyone.

This afternoon had been trying to say the least. ‘Are you expecting a baby?’ ‘is the Duchess pregnant?’ were the two questions on everybody’s mind and being directed at me. I hoped that tomorrow would be better, the two of us didn’t have any engagement for a week, her birthday was coming up in a week and I was planning on taking us to Honiley. Gran had called tonight as well, wanting to check up on Liv and suggested taking a ride as well, saying it might help her and the stables in Sandringham had horses anyway so.

***

the next morning after the doc had come in to check on Liv we’d left in the direction of Honiley, the fact that she wasn’t interested in driving the car, told me she was definitely not back to where she should be. Even Jim and Kenneth gave me a worrying look when she just shook her head as I had wanted to hand her the keys, on our way over to Honiley all she had done was stare out the window, it was like she had just come back from Africa.

But I could see her changing when the day started passing by. Her face wasn’t as pale, her cheeks getting their rosy colour back, her eyes had a bit more life in them, but she still kept quiet, settling herself in the library.

But my idea had worked day by day she was getting back to the Liv I knew, Tim had been right, a couple of bad days had he’d been right. But I was happy to see my wife returning to me and prove again that she wasn’t about to be knocked down by it all.

Her friends had stayed away on our request, just needing a bit of time to ourselves, but that didn’t mean that they stayed in touch, trying to cheer her up in their own way in making her crazy with her birthday surprise party of Friday.

***

Liv’s POV

the days leading up to my birthday had me nearly wringing someone’s neck, my best friends knew how to wind me up and they did exactly that, by sending strange text and so called tips. I had a couple of bad days, but the last two one’s had been great and I was estatic to be myself again. Spending time in the countryside really had helped me and had been exactly what I needed.

It was prove again that my husband did know me better than anyone else, prove that I had made the right decision in marrying him, marrying the man I loved more than life itself.

But Harry also knew how rile me up and enjoyed the fact that I hated being in for a surprise again,  enjoyed it even more, last year he’d shipped me to Africa and I’d come back engaged, he start to where I was now, I couldn’t believe that was a year ago that we’d gotten engaged. It seemed so much longer.

“really?” I asked, my head tilted to the side as Harry pulled out a blindfold as I descended the stairs. But I had to smirk a little, last time we’d used a blindfold he’d been tied to our bed. “no, don’t even go there.” He laughed, holding up his hands. “but, maybe I’ll have to tie you up when we get back, depends on how well you behave.” He threatened, swinging the blindfold in his hands.

“Who do I have to kill after today?” I asked, sarcastically. “Your four best friends.” He replied with a snort. “although the lads and Kate and Pip had something to do with it as well.” He added, holding out his hand for me to take.

“and where are we going?” I asked, really curious for it all. “we’re driving up north and then were coming back here.” Harry said, opening the front door of  Honiley. “all of them?” I asked, surprised to hear all of them were coming back here, although I didn’t really know who all of them were, but I could guess it were all of our close friends, around 30 people.

“yep. Those from the family will be staying at Sandringham. They’re coming back with a bus, we figured it would be safer to have non to be expecting to stay sober.” Harry snorted as he held out his hands for the keys. “What about us?” I asked, getting the keys from my purse. Handing them over reluctantly.

“Jim will drive us back here.” He said, looking at jim, climbing in the backseat along with Liam. “fine.” I muttered, getting in the passenger’s seat. “she’s letting me drive for once.” Harry laughed, earning him a soft slap on his thigh.

“like I have any choice.” I muttered under my breath. “come on they assured us you’d like this.” Harry pointed out, driving down the driveway. “so I do have to kill the four of them?” I concluded. “something like that, they are the initiators” Harry commented.

“I should have known.” I stated, looking out the window. An hour later Harry stopped by the side of the road and pulled the blindfold out. “come on, like I know where were going.” I objected. “do you trust me?” he asked, the same question I’d asked on his birthday surprise party. “you, yes. Them no.” I chuckled.

“I won’t let anything happen to you and I know you’ll enjoy it. please?” he asked, with a smile on his lips. “fine.” I said, leaning forward so he could tie the blindfold. “I love you;” he whispered against my lips.

What felt like a lifetime later he parked, I heard him get out of the car, talk to our RPO’s. before opening my side of the car. “you trust me?” he asked again, cupping my face. “yes.” I breathed out, I didn’t have to think about that. I loved him more than I could explain. And I trusted him with my life.

I took a hold of his hand as he started walking with me. “don’t let me fall.” I said. “I would never.” He stated, full of certainty. I heard a door being opened and I felt that we were inside. “I’m going to kill those four.” I stated when Harry announced and then I heard muffled laughter and I knew they were here and heard it.

“don’t let me stop you.” harry whispered in my ear as I felt him come and stand behind me. “Happy birthday Merida.” He whispered, before the blindfold was pushed from my eyes.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” was yelled at me a second later. Spotting the four guiltiest one’s I stated with amusement in my voice. “Who wants to be killed first?”

the four of them threw their head back in laughter. “told you, she’d say that.” Mia pointed out, walking up to me. “So you’re volunteering.” I chuckled, giving her a hug. “Yea.” She replied in my ear.

I went around the room, greeting everyone and thanking them for coming, they led me to the next room, which was a bowling room where I saw wrapped gifts on the tables and drinks already waiting.

Taco’s and Pizzas were brought in as dinner while all of us laughed and started bowling, some of us waiting until the food ran out the other taking a bite between throwing a ball.

"How are you?” Mia asked, sitting on the chairs, eating our taco’s. “better, spending time in Honiley is exactly what I needed.” I smiled at her, knowing how Harry had respected my wish and kept them away, but that didn’t mean that Harry was in their good books apparently.

“Don’t be angry at Harry, he only did what I asked him to do.” I told her, tilting my head at her wish a begging look. “but.” She started. “I know what he said, Kate and he told me. But the fact is he hadn’t slept watching over me and worrying over me. I asked him to keep everyone away from me and you were doing the opposite, he’s sorry you know of how he handled things, but I think there were things said on both ends that wasn’t the very best.” I told her, leaving no room for discussion. I knew exactly what had been said.

Harry had told me he was feeling bad at how he’d handled things and he didn’t want them to be angry at them. but I also heard that they had questioned the fact if he could care about me and I wasn’t very happy with that. My husband could take care of me very well, when I gave him the chance.

Last week being proof of that, how he’d helped me through my bad days. “so Livvy, you joining us in the laser game?” Jens approached me, doing a little dance, I had done it several times, laser games. I had always enjoyed it and it was a lot of fun, but I hadn’t done it since Africa, fearing the sounds of gun shots would be a trigger.

Definitely after this week, one week of recovering of a massive panic attack was enough. “no you guys go, I’m good here.” I told him as I saw nearly all of our friends standing on the incline waiting for me.

“Ooh come on spoilsport.” Autumn yelled from the bunch, locking eyes with Harry in the bunch, I saw him realise what the problem was and he smiled at me sadly but nodded in sympathy as he took a step towards me, but I shook my head, he should go have fun without me. Kate was apparently staying here waiting for the next round.

“go on, I’ll be fine here.” I repeated again, looking at them and I saw that realisation covered all there faces as they saw Liz still sitting as well. “we’re sorry, we didn’t think.” Thomas started. “it’s fine. I just don’t need another trigger in two weeks’ time.” I told them, smiling sadly. “Go on, have fun.” I told them, not wanting them to feel guilty. The mood having turned around from the previous festivities.

They turned around leaving us three behind. “you both alright?” Kate asked in a motherly manner. “yea, we’re fine.” I smiled, Liz following as well.

Half an hour later they came back laughing and teasing one another. “you okay?” Harry asked, leaning on the backrest of our seats, his arm wrapped around me. “Yes,” I smiled, looking up at him, my head sneaking to the back of his neck. “I love you.” I whispered, pulling him closer to close the gap between our lips as we kissed upside down. “thank god.” He teased a smirk crossing his face.

“I love you to Merida.” He whispered, kissing my lips again. “spend an entire week in the countryside and still they can’t keep their hands of each other.” Skip teased, his girlfriend at his side, the first time we met her.

“haha.” Harry and I quipped in unison. “maybe a good thing you’re staying at Anmer then, who knows where it all happened at Honiley.” Harry teased, looking down at me with a wink “eew. Didn’t need to know that” skip said, covering his ears. “maybe you should chase one another naked again.” Thomas pointed out with a teasing smirk, raising laughter from those who were there that day.

"ooh come, we’re never living that down are we?” Skip said, throwing his hands up. “and by the way I wasn’t the one naked.” Skip said, crossing his arms.

“no that was ginger over there.” Thomas teased, nodding his head at Harry still standing behind me. “What happened?” Amanda, Skip’s girlfriend asked and there were several volunteers waiting to tell the story again, much to Harry’s dismay and the others amusement.

An hour later we were sitting in the Karaoke bar of the centre. “Will someone get of those cat’s tails” I smirked, looking at Autumn, Daphne, Mia and Jens who were singing piano man, motioning with their hand for me to join them.

“No way.” I yelled at them, laughing shaking my head no. “spoilsport.” Autumn yelled. “Come on.” Daphne said, leaving her place and pulling my arm. “no way.” I repeated, shaking my head in laughter, everyone clapped their hands when I finally gave up and joined them.  

“I so hate you guys.” I muttered, byt the mic was on and everyone started laughing as they heard my statement.

we were laughing and teasing all the way as everyone sang several songs, it was hilarious before we made our way to the roller-skates, thank god I didn’t go flat on my ass. Being able to ice skate definitely was a positive thing.

***

“god I feel horrible.” Daphne whined as she came down to the kitchen in her hangover look. “good morning to you to.” I muttered, making sure nothing burned on the fire. “here drink this” I said, pulling a green juice from the fridge and handing it to her as she sat down at the kitchen island.

“anyone else up yet?” she asked me, dripping her head to the counter of the kitchen island. “nope, not that I know off. I suspected you would be the last one to get up.” I admitted, looking at her.

“yea me too, I just needed to get up, the ceiling was turning.” She admitted, making me snort. “why aren’t your hangover?” she asked. Raising an eyebrow at her she added: “Like never.”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just good with alcohol and it’s not like I drank the amount you did.” I explained shrugging my shoulders. Sipping my own green juice, I heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

“Love;” I smiled, seeing a hangover Harry walk in, at least he wasn’t as bad as Daphne, what was it with these guys, you would think that Harry being nearly 35 would know how to hold his liquor or his boundaries.

“Merida.” He whispered, standing behind me and wrapping his arms around me, his nose on the crook of my neck. “How are you feeling?” he whispered, running his nose in a circle in the crook of his neck, his lips leaving a kiss.

“better day by day.”  Whispered, kissing the top of his head. “I love you.” he whispered, nipping the side of my neck. “Harry.” I warned, looking at Daphne still lying down with her head. “What?” he asked, innocently, his hand running up my legs.

“stop it.” I warned, stopping his hand at the rim of my jeans. “come on.” He objected. “we have company.” I told him, trying to step away from him. “Please I don’t need to see you making out in front of me.” Daphne stated, Harry jumping at my side. “Sorry, I didn’t notice you.” he admitted sheepishly, his cheeks reddening.

“what are you doing up anyway?” Harry asked, shaking his head, his arm wrapping around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. “the ceiling was apparently spinning.” I told him with a chuckle.

“maybe we should ask someone to look at it, that can’t be right.” He teased. “haha.” Daphne quipped, pulling a face at us.

“you want eggs or not?” I threatened, holding my spoon in her direction. “I don’t think I can eat anything.” She shook her head, her skin getting a bit greenish. “If you’re going to pull a Jens on me, please go to the bathroom.” I warned her. “do you have anything against nausea?” she asked, sipping the juice, apparently she could keep that in.

“let me have a look.” I said, unwrapping Harry’s arms and walking to the cabinet. “here” I handed her a leaf of tablets. “I’m going to try and get some more sleep.” She said, getting up and disappearing in the hallway. “Finally alone.” Harry growled, nipping my collar bone. “You’re insatiable.” I slapped his arm softly as he held me against the kitchen island, his chest to my back. “You do realise we have a house full of guests, right?” I asked, my body betraying as I tilted my head, giving him more access.

“we can’t.” I tried to stop him, him pulling my hips into his, making me feel exactly what he had in mind. “come on Merida, everyone’s still asleep.” He tried, his one hand leaving my waist and going to the rim of my jeans.

“Love, we can’t as much as I want it, we can’t.” I told him, stopping his hand, just as he was about to slip his hand in my jeans.

“tonight.” I said, turning in his arms. “I promise.” I promised, wrapping my arms around his neck. “but we’re going back to London this afternoon.” He whined, leaving butterfly kisses in between as he made a trail from, my neck up to my ear where he nipped my ear lobe.

“so.” I chuckled. “does that mean we can’t have sex in London?” I teased, leaning my head to the side. “no.” he chuckled, still on his mission to drive me crazy with his kisses. “and I don’t have sex with you, I make love to you.” he objected, squeezing my hip.

“ooh, really.” I chuckled, knowing that he did most times, but still sometimes he had this wild side, then there wasn’t love making in view.

“Good morning.” I heard Mia say behind us, both of us jumping up. “we need to get back alone.” Harry groaned, picking a piece of bacon up.

not long after the kitchen filled with the rest of the bunch staying at Honiley. And just after noon we left towards London, where a busy week of engagements waited on us, I was visiting another three organisations, the one’s becoming under my name. and then on Thursday evening we’d be welcoming the Royals of Sweden, Denmark and Norway and on Friday we left on our climate expedition, but first we were going to London.

Liz joined us as we drove towards Effingham, first going to visit my grandparents, they hadn’t seen me since I’d fled to the countryside dealing with the outfall of my ‘bad days.’ And I wanted to show them that I was doing alright and check in on them myself.

Nathan was already with them, knowing we’d be partying last night, sure my birthday had been two days ago, but had waited until Friday evening to celebrate.

“First and foremost, all of you beautiful people are so lucky that you get to be with the incredibly experienced faculty here in Los Angeles itself; they are so hard working and so dedicated towards their goal; which is to help musicians find their way back and that is highly commendable. So, can we have a huge round of applause for them?”

I was told that I also had a way with words; I would slip and forget a few things but most of time, the crowd was putty in her hands because it usually because emotional.

As a huge cheer broke out, everyone looked behind where all the mentors and nurses stood; shyly looking at each other before looking back up at me on the stage.

“I have been working with MusiCares for a few years now, and it's been one of the best parts of my job; to find such a platform and to encourage and motivate people like you; people who are so talented; whose talents deserve to be recognized and appreciated instead of being wasted”

Sometimes working with MusiCares was a little emotional for me; having seen numerous people lose their identity; which was their music. It's not only drugs and alcohol that pull you down; most of the times it's just life and situations.

“Sometimes life fails you and other time you fail yourself; but honestly, its okay. Its okay when you learn a lesson from it. Failures will only be failures if you perceive them as such”

Soon after the impossibly long speech, an applause broke out and all patients were on their feet; ready and eager to meet me.

Situations like these became a little daunting to me; all these people had the talent to be in the position I am right now; some of them probably weren't too far before they admitted here but to see them so excited to meet me; just another somebody was daunting to me as a thought.

I started greeting the staff first, who had lined up in the front during the last few lines of my speech; grinning with a lot of emotion in their eyes.

“Ma'am, I shouldn't say this but I particularly chose the LA department because of your previous track record of visiting this center” One of them, a lady with short blonde hair and green eyes, said as she shook my hand and smiled up at me.

“Oh my god, that is so flattering to hear. Whatever the reason, now you're here and your work helps people of my profession; so thank you”

The minutes passed as I met patients after patients; each with a different story and a different reason for being there. But they were all in such high spirits, I never felt as if I was standing in a rehab center.

“Adelaide; dear, it is so great to see you again” came a voice, an old and weary one but a recognizable one for me.

Jerka Jenkins had worked with me years ago on my first and second albums. She was incredibly impressive in her songwriting skills on slow and melodious songs. A lot of my first slow songs were thanks to her skills.

I looked at her; first in shock and then in concern. I didn't even know that Jerka was admitted here; I hadn't heard from her in years, yes, but in the industry, you find yourself in the same room with the same people way too many times.

“Jerka; I wasn't even aware you would be here. What happened?”

“Oh, you needn't worry too much, Addy. I'm doing quite alright; I've been here for almost a year; they should let me go any day now actually” she replied.

I frowned to myself; she’s been a whole year, I should’ve atleast heard about it from someone. “I honestly had no idea, I feel so bad now. You have got to call me as soon as you’re out of here” I said, grabbing both her hands and giving her a smile.

She nodded, “Ofcourse, I didn’t really expect you to know. It was a sudden thing and I didn’t want many people to know”

“But imagine my surprise when they told us a week ago that you’d be coming here; the atmosphere was absolutely electrifying Adelaide, and I assure you, that speech you just gave, it will really make a difference in all their lives” She said, heavy emotion in her eyes as her voice got a little shaky.

I didn’t say anything as I hugged her small frame, holding her close to me as I heard her sniffling.

“No, thank you for everything you have ever done for me, Jerka. You are so strong”

If I was honest; I never felt as powerful as I do when there are people I am genuinely helping.

“You shouldn’t have wasted your time in LA” said my sister, miles away from me but I could still practically see her rolling her eyes at me.

Amelia had called me while I was still in the MusiCares Session; and Lima had informed me about it as soon as I was back in the car, on my way to my Bel Air house. I hadn’t heard from my sister in the last one week and when she heard about my tightly packed schedule, she couldn’t help but be my elder sister.

“I know what you’re thinking Addy, but just think about yourself and your entire crew sometimes” she said, shuffling from her end as I chuckled when I saw Lima and Kyle share a look upon hearing her on speaker.

“Are you done quiet yet? MusiCares was important, Em” I replied, after hearing her rant.

“No, what is important is that we establish the fact that you have a known habit of derailing all over your schedule, baby” She said.

I knew she was right; I did make it a habit but even she knew that I went to huge lengths for the organizations I supported.

“Can we just forget about it now; I’ll be in New York within the next six hours, don’t worry” I said.

Amelia Edwards, my elder sister is a fashion designer. She worked with Victoria Beckham, our aunt and also played the role of the chief executive designer for my Adelaide line.

She was also a workaholic, always running from one country to another, always clashing ideas inside her brain. Maybe it was a family thing; but both of us sisters couldn’t sit idle. Good thing Arthur wasn’t a girl.

“Adelaide, honey, if you miss my show, I will make sure you don’t see my face for months to come” Amelia threatened.

All my career long Amelia had been one of my biggest supporters; one of the only few people I could whole heartedly trust; one of the only people who always understood my situations. She’d never been the one to complain if I wasn’t there for her important days; but she’d always made sure that she was there for mine.

And if I wouldn’t go to her show; even after being in New York; then what kind of a sister did that make me?

“Okay, now we wouldn’t want that. Don’t worry sister, I’ll be there, front row” I said; shooting Karol a look. She still hadn’t contacted the right people to inform my appearance day after.

Shortly after I hung up the phone, I sighed, thinking whether or not I was really taking a break.

I would already be the last person in the bridal party to reach Greece because I just had to prolong my stay in NYC another day to attend my sister’s show.

I sighed as I caught a glance of the Bel-Air, lavishly spread and unequivocally mine. I could still remember the day I had finally sealed the deal, clear as day. It was about two years into my career before I had gotten so absolutely sick of staying in hotels while I was over in Los Angeles, which was a good few months every year.

My father was the one that suggested that I waste no more time and just go along and buy myself a home here; ‘After all, it’s not like you don’t have the money for it”, Arthur had said.

It wasn’t very late before I was house hunting all over LA and its outskirts; the search all over the news because that was essentially the period that the paparazzi had decided that they would start to hoard me everywhere I go, and the media had also become unambiguous about my position in Hollywood.

Bel Air had soon turned into my passion project; I took part in its every finishing, going as far as to choose the exact windows I wanted in every balcony. It was also one of the reasons why the area was very soon inhabited by various other celebrities and tycoons; and the location came to be known as posh.

It had a totally different meaning for me though; I had so many memories in that house. Half my songs were recorded in there; so many of my songs were written there. So many gatherings, so many parties that was attended by almost everyone in the industry.

And as I looked up at it as we were slowly coming to a stop in front of the main gates; I felt Karol speak up. “So the DailyMail claims that they have inside information from one of your closest confidants that you’re very serious about leaving music” Karol broke the silence, a little humour in her tone as she scrolled on her phone.

I looked her weird, confused why she would tell me that but couldn’t help but join the laughter spree in the car.

“The DailyMail claims a lot of things, honey”.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

“That doesn’t look good at all” I muttered as soon as I caught sight of the humongous amount of paparazzi waiting for me at the LAX Airport.

LAX is one of the hardest airports to get into because it is always lined with photographers waiting for a glimpse of one or the other celebrities. It always becomes messy and hard in situations like these but I knew that my entire crew is so used to it by now, they can do it with the back of their hand.

“Let’s get this over with” Karol said, quickly getting out after Kyle and Gary. I could see them get into position before I got out of the car. The crowd was huge, and the paparazzi were already clicking away instantly recognizing Lima and Karol.

As soon as I stepped out, slamming the car door behind me, my handbag on arm, sunglasses in place and phone in hand, I was rushed away from the crowd, which inevitably followed us all the way till the door. I could see a few fans here and there being pushed behind by the hoard of photographers, but couldn’t really do anything about that situation.

It wasn’t until I was almost to the entrance, Lima’s hand guiding me that I saw that a fan was pushed down in the mist of the chaos, laying on the concrete floor, crunched over as another man stepped on her stomach in the race to get a picture of me.

I instantly stopped, Lima turning to shoot me a dark look as I left her hand, all six of my bodyguards turning into place around me as I took fast trodden steps towards the girl. I gave her my hand, helping her get up and saw her tearful gaze set on me.

“It’s alright, I’m so sorry” I whispered in her ear, hugging her and turned to look at the man who had unknowingly stepped on her.

“Sir, next time could you please look where you walk; this isn’t a funny situation” I said to him, hearing all cameras recording my every word. The man shook his head, shamefully bringing down his camera and didn’t utter a word. But I knew that I had just given these people exactly what they wanted; an event to report about.

After a few seconds, I was already bounded inside, after making sure the girl was alright and sent up to her car. These kind of events scare the hell out of me.

As soon as I entered the highly designed entrance of Ralph Russo; I already knew that I was spotted and recognized by the wide-eyed and open-mouthed cashier, who then quickly controlled herself but her reaction definitely alerted some others littered across the showroom.

None of my crew were with me, all enjoying their own lives for some moments, which becomes rare for them day by day, with the exception of Kyle, who was outside the store, in the car. I looked around for a minute, taking off my sunglasses, my hands rubbing against the marron leather pants before I spotted Mary Olivia, glittering in her shiny wedding couture.

“Look at you, out of your hub in London and here in the average United States” I said, mockingly walking towards her and kissing both her cheeks in greeting, and turning to look at everyone else in the bridal party.

Each of them were dressed down, atleast according to their style, all smiling up at me as they each had a glass of champagne and were sat in the plush couches.

“Well, I figured that since you have actually made everywhere your hub, that I could try the average United States every once in a while” she replied, almost a minute later, but I laughed anyway.

I finally got around to greeting everyone, subtly noticing my sister’s absence even though she was in the city, and decided to bring up the matter later.

Sophia Fermor-Hesketh turned to look at me, as I sat down next to her, smiling slyly “Well, madam, hasn’t it been quite a long time since we’ve seen each other”

“Oh please, who are we even when she’s got the entire Hollywood running behind her” Willa Keswick scoffed, though I didn’t really know if she meant it as a joke because I didn’t know her as well as my sister did.

I couldn’t do anything besides laugh at their comments, “Don’t blame me; I think it’s equally your faults too” I said, taking a sip of my champagne before crossing my legs.

The bridal party did in fact include of all the people that I had known whilst growing up. There were some seniors of mine, very few classmates but a lot of juniors as well. I knew that Alicia, one of my childhood friends would be directly coming to Greece along with a few of my classmates from a while back.

My sister, Amelia is incredibly great friends with all of the ladies in this group, but knowing her; she probably decided to skip the bridal party meet because of her show in the evening.

“I did talk to Amelia a while back, Adelaide. She’s so busy with the show, I reckon she’d be travelling with you” Chloe Green said, her posh accent very noticeable but that was all intercepted by her kind eyes.

I nodded, shrugging wasn’t an option with this crowd sometimes, “Yes, I think so too. I’ll be at the show this evening, she’s almost threatened to disown me if I don’t go” I laughed slightly, thinking about my sister’s response.

The rest of the time passed fairly quickly as Mary Olivia finally settled on her’s and her maid of honour’s dress. It wasn’t too late before I was also trying on my bridesmaid’s dress, the shade of pale pink, up to my ankles and of the softest material of satin.

I was only here for Mary Olivia; having considered her a great friend since school days. She was loud and she was upbeat; but that was just her personality. She had had a difficult childhood, of sorts, having parents that were both very dramatic in their behaviors. And whatever it was, I just couldn’t say no to attending her wedding, now could I?

It wasn’t long before I was out of the store, earlier than the rest because they were all directly leaving for the airport; on their way to Greece. Promising to see all of them a day later, I was back in the backseat of the car, Kyle driving us to my apartment so that I could change before my visit to the New York center of MusiCares.

“Were we spotted, Kyle?” I asked my bodyguard, whom I’d known for the past five years.

He nodded his head, “I’m afraid we were ma’am, Lima called me up half an hour ago, seems to me that it was someone in the store itself”

I sighed, my eyes on the street passing by; will I ever be able to escape this attention?

“Alright, so I need a rundown” I said, when we were on our way back my apartment in New York City, ready to be dressed to attend my sister’s show.

The New York MusiCares session went just as good as the Los Angeles one did. I was able to meet some of the most hardworking people, and that honestly felt great in the midst of the absolute chaos, that is my life.

“Okay, so, the plane’s booked. We’ve contacted Amelia’s team about the timing, you are meeting Selena tomorrow morning for a late breakfast, if that plan is still in motion, Addy” Karol looked at me, pausing.

I nodded, letting her continue, “Jordon called this morning, apparently he’s heard from Victoria about your non-existent gym life and he’s frantically trying to reach you” she said, openly chuckling at the frightened look I gave her.

“Holy fucking shit, that had completely slipped my mind” I face-palmed, knowing Jordon would give me hell when I get back to London.

“Well, other than that, I think you’re ready for 5 days off at Mary Olivia’s wedding” She said, finally clicking her phone off.

“Adelaide?” I heard her call me after a few seconds.

“Hm?” I asked, turning to look at her.

She was frowning, a concerned look on her face, “Do rest while you’re in Greece, won’t you? You deserve it”

“Yes, thank you Karol” I smiled softly at her.

Stepping right into the small blue carpet laid out before the entrance to the arena had about 200 photographers littered around, behind the railings.

And as soon as I stepped onto the said carpet, my bodycon dress tight against my figure, Lima trailing behind me, reminding me to not give any interviews and to stop at the right places for photographers.

It was an instant havoc, the paparazzi were on their toes, yelling at the top of their lungs to get a good angled picture of me. I didn’t plan to stay long on the carpet; just enough for a few pictures.

I was dressed in the Altuzarra Gramm Sweater dress; perfectly fitting me in every sense of the word. Not that I had much of a choice in the matter of my outfit for the evening, Amelia having send over two options for me to choose from her campaign.

I was led inside the small arena, Lima’s hand on my back, guiding me straight towards the front row. Several familiar faces turned to glance at me, some having the audacity to throw a smile while others kept staring.

I was sort of used to this by now; I wouldn’t have been able to survive all the attention if I wasn’t. There were people who didn’t like me; some for no reason at all and some because of reasons they’d heard from others. I didn’t let it bother me though, because I genuinely was too busy for shit like this in my life. Nor did I have the effort to keep up with the acts of the people in the fashion industry.

Speaking of fashion industry, I smiled when I saw the very familiar face of Anna Wintour, posture straight and upright staring directly up at me as I paused at my seat, beside her’s.

“Anna, been a while” I said, smiling widely.

She was on her feet within the very next second, kissing both my cheeks with loud ‘muah’s as we sat next to each other. A lot of cameras were pointed our way because it had been almost 2 years since Anna and I were last seen together.

“The kiddies went to your New York show, I heard you made them come to the backstage” she said, her face now perfectly set with the right amount of emotions.

I nodded swiftly, “Yes, I had gotten your message. You didn’t think that I wouldn’t do that?” I shook my head lightly.

There was very little that I wouldn’t do for Anna Wintour. She had, in a way, shaped up my global image. It was because of my first Vogue cover, just a week after my first album, that people actually thought I was someone.

Very less of any of my fashion endeavors are not discussed with her; with me trusting her opinion about it the most along with my sister’s and aunt’s. Anna had, in lots of ways, favored me multiple times; which also might be the reason behind my numerous Vogue covers despite not being a model.

Other than all that, she was also such an inspiration. All my years spent in the industry, and I had learnt the most important part of having an inspiration; someone whose work ethic inspires you. And that was Anna Wintour.

Half an hour later, I was heading backstage with my crew, after greeting goodbyes with Anna and cheering loudly when Amelia had come on stage with Joseph Altuzarra.

“Oh my god, that was brilliant” I shouted as soon as I was within arms reach of Amelia, wrapping her to myself in seconds.

The backstage was too crowded to hold a decent conversation; but I grinned at Joseph as Amelia introduced us. Turns out, he was a fan.

“I’m getting a feeling as if you used me just so you could meet my sister” my older sister said in a playful huff, a few moments after Joseph stopped freaking out about meeting yours truly.

He shrugged, “Who says that ain’t true”.

“Wow; you’re actually up early, even with all your jet lag” Amelia said, sipping her morning coffee and sat in the kitchen of my New York Apartment, cross legged while working on her laptop.

I made a face at her, so used to all of her taunts, “I was in the gym an hour ago actually” I told her, noticing that nobody else was awake yet.

Now that had her attention, “Are you okay, Adelaide? That is just so not like you at all” she said, shaking her head.

I stomped towards the marble dining table, with my glass of orange juice, putting my head on the table in exhaustion even though it was barely 9 in the morning.

“Jordon is making me do this” I cried, remembering how he had finally caught me after I picked up his call.

It did not take her another second as she threw her head behind, laughing at my current state, “I always knew I loved that boy”

“Don’t let him hear you say that”

Jordon might’ve been gay and married; but did he ever hide his attraction towards Amelia? Definitely not. She grinned at me as her phone rang, Edmund’s name flashing on it.

Amelia and Edmund had a long history that involves family drama at its best, but they got through it. It was something that made you yearn for a love story like that.

I went to pick it up but she was quicker, snatching it from right under my nose and making a dash towards her room. I shook my head chuckling loudly.

“Pick your stuff up from your flat and meet me at the airport, okay?” I yelled, standing up to leave the apartment after I heard her shout her agreement.

“I swear to god, you always make me feel under-dressed” was the first thing Selena said to me as I moved forward to hug her, ignoring the numerous eyes following my movement.

“I have to directly go to the airport after this, Sel” I said, rolling my eyes and taking a seat on the small round table we booked for the two of us.

“Where are you off to now, didn't you just come to New York, like, a day ago?” She asks, taking a sip of her cocktail as a waiter handed us appetizers’ menu.

“Yes, yes, that's right. You know my friend, Mary Olivia? She's getting married to her rocker boyfriend and I have to be there” I said, shrugging, my eyes scanning the expensive list of dishes.

“Wait, isn't she another aristocratic friend of yours?”

“There we go, that's the one” I said, grinning.

“Wonderful, so rich and high society crowd for the next week or so for you then; have you got your wardrobe and sarcasm ready?” Selena says, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

“Yes, absolutely” we laughed some, looking around in our habit of doing so.

“No but honestly, I've grown up in that kind of atmosphere in school; so I'm sort of drained into it, you know?” I say, sipping my water.

Marlborough was elite; it was for the elite and it was by the elite. Aristocracy was in the walls and meals of that school. And as

“It just makes me realize how people view all these things so differently than they really are” She says, nodding her, clearly double meaning it.

“Yes, true. Is there something you wanted to talk about?”

Selena had called me as soon as she had come to know that I was in New York for sometime or so. I did not expect her to be in NYC; but it was a last minute trip for her as well.

Selena and I had met at the set of Wizards of Waverly Place back in 2007; when I was asked to guest star in one of its episodes. She was young and a debutante back then; whilst I was already knee deep within 3 albums.

What struck me the most about Selena Gomez was her absolute genuinity. You couldn't question her intentions if you actually knew her like I do. She's brutally honest with if considers you a friend.

“Yes, actually” She said, glancing around the restaurant, rather inclusively.

I sighed, almost wanting to put my face in my hands but I knew better than to do that, in case if anyone in the restaurant was lucky enough to click a picture of us.

“Is this about Justin? Selena-”

“No! I mean, yes, but no. Addy, you know I would've told you if anything like that would've happened. It's all great as of now. No, what I wanted to talk to you about is this show I want to produce” she interrupted me.

I frowned, signaling a waiter over to our table and to the star in front of me to stop talking; we gave our orders and as soon as he was out of the hearing range, I spoke up.

“You want to produce a show?”

“Yes, my mom just read this book called Thirteen Reasons Why and she suggests that I should go ahead with it” she replied.

I sat back, “well, I mean, your production house should be put to use for something atleast; and Mandy does have great taste. Have you read the book though?”

She nodded, instant in her answer, “I'm in love with the story, Adelaide. It absolutely needs to be out there”

“But a show? Why not a movie? You do realize producing a show is too much work” I reminded her, pointing her finger her way.

She took a deep breathe, “Well, it was supposed to be a movie at first, I was to star as the protagonist but that went down the drain pretty fast and we brainstormed some ideas, nothing seemed better than a show”

I thought about it, and then about my production house, “Hey, would you mind having another producer on your team?” I asked her with a sly smile knowing she wouldn’t refuse me but also knowing that she’d feel more comfortable about going ahead with the project with me on her team.

Her eyes brightened within a quick second, “You’re not insinuating what I think you are” she almost squealed.

I paused her frantic words, “Hold up though, you need to give me time to read the story first. But I mean, like I’ve said before, Mandy has incredible taste”

And just like that we were switching from topic to topic. Talking first about how her parents were trying to get pregnant again after Mandy’s last miscarriage to her relationship with Justin. She had suddenly found herself as a name on everyone’s lips because of the interest generated by the media in her relationship.

I knew it overwhelmed her at moments; and she’s still just so young, I would be worried if it didn’t shock her at times.

“Oh hey by the way, I think now you’ll be the one interested in my proposal. WE Day’s around the corner-“

“Yes, yes, I know, Adelaide. I read all about the list of performers online. Now imagine my surprise when I read that! I’ve been behind you for this for years. You let Taylor perform two times now” she interrupted me, almost in hysterics.

I stared at her wide-eyed, not expecting the outburst, “And that’s exactly why I’m letting you in it this year. Taylor is on tour, so, you can do it if you want” I said, a playful smile on my lips.

She rolled her eyes, incredibly annoyed with me at this point, “Yes, okay. I’ll do it”

“Now that’s what I call a good girl”.

Outfits:

Los Angeles MusiCares Session

LAX Airport

NYC MusiCares Session

Mary Olivia’s Bridal Meet

New York Fashion Week

 Her heart fluttered as she eagerly grabbed it. Hesitating to open it in front of her roommate she offered Ainsley a quick look before darting off to her room. Ainsley hot on her heels. 

“Hey! No fair Addy! Come on you never let me read them with you!! I know he is writing dirty things to you! I need a glimpse into that prince’s mind!” Ainsley continued her banging on the door as her relentless attempts to convince Addy slowly subsided leaving her alone to read his letter in private.

Sitting on the corner of her bed she ripped the envelope at the seams, gently pulling the letter out. Curling her legs up crossing them she read every word intently…

Addy,

 I am sorry I have not been able to write to you in so long or call you. I have not had the time to do so. I am alright, still safe and sound and in one piece. Your letters keep me sane in a place like this. If you have time to write it would mean a lot to me. Makes me miss home less when you tell me about your days… makes me feel like I am there with you.

I do have to keep this short, as I have to go out on a patrol. This place hardly what I thought it would be for both good and bad reasons. I feel like I am one of the guys here and not Prince Harry. There is no camera crew following me around and I don’t need to hide who I am. Though they forgot to mention how much god damn sand there is when I signed up to come here. It literally gets everywhere, places you would not expect.

When I get home we are going on a vacation to Alaska or anywhere, some place away from sand!

Thank you for the picture of you and Chance. It is what I wake up to every day.

 ~ Harry

 Smiling bright she folded the paper sticking it back in the envelope. Standing she pulled open a drawer in her dresser and placed his letter on top stack of the others she had cumulated.

Looking up at the dresser she sighed staring at the calendar in front of her. Each day that passed by she had crossed out with a red ‘x’ signifying one day closer to when Harry would come home.

Taking her red pen she crossed off today.

“Only 93 more days to go.” She quietly whispered to herself.

                             ---------------------------------------------

Harry walked into his shared room after a night out on patrol. His heavy eyelids threatened to commit him to a couple hours of well deserved sleep. Hearing footsteps stomp the sand further into the ground his one eye fluttered open to see Kane with a handful of mail.

A loud thump sounded as Kane tossed them on the prince’s chest. He sat up in his bed rubbing his tired eyes. Sifting through the letter from friends and family he searched for Adalyn’s.

Holding her letter in his hand he placed the others on top of his covers. “Remember if it’s a nude pic I get to see it. Standard military bunk mate code.” Kane flashed Harry a wide grin causing an eye roll reaction from Harry. 

Laying his head back down on his pillow he shifted until he found a comfortable position. Sighing a smile formed at Addy’s nickname for him, something she came up with one their first date.

 Hey Pumpkin

I can just imaging hearing you groan at that name. I know you hate it but I love how you react to it. And tell Kane no I am not sending him a nude selfie!

So I have to tell you this. Chance is the new devil dog. I swear if he wasn’t as cute as he was I don’t think he could get away with as much as he does. The other day we were at the off leash dog park. He was running around enticing the older bigger dogs like he normally doe,s but then all of a sudden he saw a bird and started barking at it, which of course started the other dogs too. In a flash he was off heading straight for it… leading the other dogs behind him into a small pond.

All their owners were yelling at them not to go into the water and I just stood there laughing, watching this three-legged pup lead the charge. Their owners were so mad that he had got them all wet but I couldn’t be an ounce angry with him. I swear he was smiling from ear to ear afterwards, soaked in water and paws all dirty. I wish you could have seen that. He is so happy and I can’t thank you enough for coming with me that night and helping him.

Miss you

By the way feel free to send me a naked selfie ;)

 ~ Addy

                          ------------------------------------------

Addy,

 I have to admit that I may be cheating on you with the lunch lady here. She adores me and gives me extra buns, but hell did it take a lot of flirting to get her to do that. I used my charm and sexy smile of course to win her over.

She even lets me sneak into the kitchen and gives me little snacks, but I have to play cards with her in return. I think you need to send some more haribo sweets to win me back?

I am kidding of course if you could not pick up on that.

Half way there now.

Be home soon xo 

~ Harry

                      -----------------------------------------------

Groans filled the air at the expense of Adalyn’s father. Carlson believed he was the funniest man in the room, but his puns were less than sub-par. Addy shook her head at him, smiling across the table from her father. His warm bright smile spread widely at the people surrounding his table.

Carlson caught the eyes of his youngest daughter Addy. Sighing he stared back into the eyes that reminded him of his children’s mother, hoping he had done right by them. Adalyn held his gaze, the two sharing a quiet moment together amongst the talking guests.

He had seen a change in her the past few months. The colors in her eyes were more vibrant, less like a ghost; her smile came easier and appeared more often. Something had changed with her, but he could not place what it was. He wondered if she had met someone that brought this change in her.

A ringing phone cut through the laughter, breaking the stare between them. Addy dug her phone out of her jean pocket apologizing profusely for breaking their one rule. No phones during their Monday night family dinners.

Her heart missed a beat as she recognized the number that Harry had used to call her from Afghanistan. Closing her eyes she desperately wanted to take the call and hear his voice. It had been so long, but on the other hand she knew the flood of questions she would surely receive from her family if she did.

The phone continued to ring as she held it in her hand. Feeling all eyes on her she lifted her head. “I’m sorry, but I need to take this.” She stood before anyone could protest her action leaving the table quickly to find a private place to talk.

Addy answered the call in a whisper as she headed to the back entrance.

 “Harry?”

 “Hey Addy.” His deep voice called out on the other side of the line.

 “Give me a second…” she reached the door, pulling the handle closed behind her. Finding a place on her father’s patio she made herself comfy in a old wooden chair. Taking a quick look behind her through the kitchen window she saw them all resuming their dinner, knowing that it was now safe to talk.

 “Sorry I needed to find a little privacy.” Addy smiled.

 “Did I interrupt something?”

 “No Harry. Not at all... I am umm.” She tried to hide that fact from him, not wanting him to feel guilty for calling.

 “Shit… it’s a Monday isn’t it?” His voice lowered quietly. “You should get back to your family Addy. Sorry the days have been running together for me.”

 “NO!” Addy blurted out excitedly as a hand flew to her mouth covering it. “I mean no…” she trailed off. “It’s been a while and I have missed you!” She twirled her hair absent-mindedly through her fingers at her confession.

 “I miss you too… more than you know.” His voice was tired, like he had lacked essential sleep.

 Addy smiled hearing those come through the phone. Internally she was battling whether or not to tell Harry about Jake’s re-appearance. She did not want to lie to him, but did not want to him to be distracted or worried about her. Biting her lower lip she decided it was best to wait until he can home, hoping that he would understand her choice.

 “You sound tired? Everything alright Harry?” Her calming voice resonated through the phone. It had been too long since he last heard her peaceful voice.

 “It’s been hard.” A quiet confession fell off of his lips. He knew he could talk to Addy about anything, but he did not need to put anything more onto her than she already had.

 Hearing a deep sigh from him gave her the chance to think of her response wanting to make him feel better. “You know that what you are doing there, putting your life on the line, is something that not only me, but the rest of the country is very proud of you for. I cannot imagine what it is like to be there, but try to think of it this way. You fought so hard to go Harry; you never gave up so don’t now. Each day that passes brings you closer and closer to coming home to your family and friends. We all miss you, but understand why you are doing this.”

A small smile turned up the corner of his lips as he listened to her comforting and reassuring words. Some of which he needed to hear. He missed her like crazy. Even though their relationship had became official a mere week before he left for Afghanistan he could not help but feel that their relationship still progressed forward. Harry had to admit that he was a bit skeptical of what his deployment would bring to their relationship, but the way they supported each other proved him wrong.  He so desperately wanted to see her again, hold her in his arms and kiss those sweet soft lips of hers; but for now, he would count down the days until they were reunited.

 “You are amazing you know that? I don’t think I could have done this without you Add.” A small giggle escaped his lips shaking his head lightly.

 “Of course I know that!” She joined in on his laughter. Hearing that he was struggling a little gave her a sense of comfort in her decision about Jake, that now was indeed not the time to tell Harry.

 A few more minutes had passed. Adalyn was in a fit of laughter telling the story of how her and Ainsley decided to paint their flat in a drunken state only to have Chance covered in paint.

Harry roared a laugh, his belly shaking hard picturing the two of them giving Chance a bath while drunk. Laughter and hearing her voice was exactly what he needed. Harry could faintly hear another persons voice come through the phone as his laughter subsided.

 “Adalyn. Are you coming back inside?” A deep male’s voice spoke out, no doubt her father or brother.

 “Uh…” he could hear Adalyn hesitate. “Give me one minute dad.”

 Nodding Carlson smiled cheekily at his daughter knowing that he had interrupted her conversation with a certain someone. Her eyes were sparkling bright, her smile wide and happy unable to hide it from her father. Closing the door he silently congratulated himself for being right. Addy had a new person in her life, but he would give her the time and space to officially tell him.

She waited until the click of the door indicated she was once again in private.

“Sorry Harry… my dad uh-”

 “It’s alright Addy.” Harry interrupted her knowing that he should not keep her much longer from her family night. “I need to get going. Kane wants me to beat his ass at FIFA anyway.” This caused another bark of a laugh from Adalyn.

 “Ok Harry. I am glad that you called. You know you can whenever you want.”

 “I hope your dad won’t give you a hard time about it.”

 “He probably will but that’s alright. Write to me soon…”

 “I will. Bye beautiful.”

 “Bye ginger.”

                       ----------------------------------------------

Harry,

I finally got around to sending you your favourite haribo sweets. I went to five different stores to find your favourite so I hope they taste really good! 

Mel and Adriana dragged me out to one of Guy’s bars to watch a football game. Everyone was cheering for Manchester, but I knew you were a fan of Arsenal so I cheered for them as hard as you would have and got a lot of flack for it. I had to represent you!

It really made me feel like I was part of your group of friends, but I know it was your doing so thank you for that. Even from so far away you are taking care of me and it is so sweet. I cannot wait until you come home.

I was at the grocery store with Ainsley and while we were unloading our cart at the cashier line I saw some magazine articles. There you were right on the front page. They are starting to wonder where you are Harry… I thought they weren’t supposed to print anything about you?

 Please be careful.

 ~ Addy

The breath from within Harry evaporated as he took the file in his hands. He stared at it, setting it down gently on the granite kitchen counter. A part of Harry was relieved at the fact he would finally know the identity of the woman; but another side of Harry pulled him in a different direction. He hated invading someone’s privacy unwillingly, knowing what that felt like himself on numerous occasions. But, curiosity got the best of him. 

Closing his eyes Harry promised himself no matter how much information Rip had dug up on this woman, he would only read the most basic of information about her. His eyes trailed up from the file landing on Rips expressionless face obviously trying to hide something from the prince.  

“Thank you Rip for doing this. I think it is best if I read it alone.” Harry smiled weakly before grabbing the file and made his way to his room. Settling down on the corner of his bed Harry opened the file to find a picture of the blonde woman from that night. 

His heart nearly stopped, anger filling the void spaces within him.

Harry recognized the woman in the picture; shaking his head Harry wondered how he could be so stupid. It was indeed Lady Sophia Cromwell, daughter of the Duke of Norfolk, also known as the man who claims the right to his grandmother’s throne and has done so for years on a ridiculous basis.

“No… it can’t be her.” Harry began to run his fingers through his ginger hair. His fingers curled into a fist of rage. He could sense the anger bubbling internally. How could a Cromwell fool him?

Everything that happened that night was a pure lie. The kiss they shared was laced in deceit, their conversations built on a foundation of trickery.  Sophia had played Harry, masked her identity both figuratively and literally behind a web of lies. 

Harry closed the file firmly. Standing up he threw it across the room in a fit of anger. Papers flew out of the file into the air scattering across the hardwood casually decorating his room in a sea of papers. Pictures of Sophia landed on Harry’s bedroom floor coating it with blonde hair and blue eyes that stared back into him just like they had that night.

Bending over Harry picked up a picture of Sophia exiting what seemed to be a flat building. His expression lit up as an idea flooded into his mind. There was no way that Harry would let her get away with this. He would not let the Cromwell’s win this battle. 

In a hurry Harry open the door furiously.

“Rip! We are leaving now!”

                                         ------------------------------------

Sophia gathered up her dirty laundry tossing it in the washing machine. She had returned to London that morning having spent a few days in the country side of Norfolk with her mother. Sighing she looked at her half empty suitcase when a knock at her flat door echoed through the brick walls. Setting down the basket of clean clothes on the sofa, she quickly stepped to answer the door.

“Coming!” She hollered as her bare feet pressed against the cool hard wood floors. 

Twisting the doorknob she swung open the door to reveal who was on the other side.

Her hand flew to her chest, gasping loudly.

 It was Prince Harry standing opposite of her.

Time ceased to exist as she stared deep into the depths of the princes blue eyes, Harry holding her gaze hostage. Memories of that night came flooding through her mind. Her breath evaporated from her chest as realization slammed into her body.

She had doubted herself yet again, convincing her mind that it was not he.

‘Alex’ was indeed Prince Harry.

“Sophia.” Harry paused as his voice tore through her shocked mind. “Or rather Sophia Cromwell… something you forgot to mention the other night.” Harry spat his angry words at her. His tone not going unnoticed by Sophia. Feeling defenseless Sophia crossed her arms in an attempt to block his angry words.

Fumbling for a response she remained quiet, still caught off guard by the whole situation of having Harry show up at her door.

“I –uh.” Sophia lowered her head in attempt to avoid his deep blue eyes that bore into her being in a hateful stare. 

Harry could see her struggling to speak which sparked a sense of delight. A small smirk appeared enjoying this moment, toying with her like she had done to him. He stood there waiting for her to continue watching her squirm.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Sophia moved to close the door on him. Harry quickly reacted placing his foot in its path.

 “Sophia. I need to talk with you.” He demanded.

 Sophia lifted her head slowly connecting with those blue eyes she fell for that night at the ball.  Everything within her told her not too. The fibers inside of her screaming trying to warn her not to let him in, but she ignored them not being able to resist those blue eyes dancing with an array of sparkles.

 “Ok… but it needs to be quick.”  She spoke through the open slit in the door. “Come in so we do not disturb my neighbors. Sophia took a step back welcoming him into her home politely.

Walking into her flat he was shocked not expecting a place like this from a wealthy aristocratic woman. The antique brick walls encased a small flat with the bare necessitates. There were no lavish works of art or high-end belongings to be found. A surprised Harry continued into her kitchen, a kitchen built for one person.

Despite Harry’s anger with Sophia, she continued to amaze him. You would not even guess that a woman like her would be found in a place like this. He admitted it was quaint and had a cozy comfy vibe, a feeling of ‘home’ resonated between the walls. A tiny smile easily graced his lips. Maybe he was wrong about her. He would at least give her the chance to explain why she did what she did.

Hearing the door close Harry turned to see Sophia round the corner. Nervously fidgeting with her hands she asked him if he needed anything and to make himself at home.

“I am fine.” His reply was short wanting to get to the point of his presence and leave as quickly as he came.

Silence coursed between them, the tension building as they stood opposite of each other.

“I didn’t know it was you Harry…” Her response was quiet, no doubt feeling uncomfortable with him here despite her genuine politeness. The anger within Harry continued to boil ready to burst and overflow. Another lie escaped her lips.

“It’s your Highness to you.” Harry’s voice hard and cold wanting her to not forget her place.

 Harry carefully watched her eyes dart towards him. Her mouth slightly parted shocked at his words. “I’m sorry your Highness.” She apologized briefly.

 “Why didn’t you tell me who you were that night?”

 Sophia narrowed her eyes at him confused with his question. “Hold on….” She paused. “I told you who I was Harry…- I mean your Highness. It is you who lied and said your name was… Alex?” Sophia raised her eyebrow questioning him. He was the one who had lied to her and now is blaming her for this whole mess?

“You forgot to mention that you are a CROMWELL!” Harry’s voice rose yelling her last name back at her. “YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHO I WAS!” He unleashed the anger he could no longer control. “You knew when I kissed you…”

Sophia remaining quiet on her end stood there letting Harry’s words sink in. Bravely, she took a step towards the prince.  “I did not know who you were. What made you believe that I did?” She paused trying to gauge his silent answer.

“If anyone here should be angry it should be me! You clearly forgot to mention who you were.” Her calm voice resonated, wanting to reason with the prince but he had clearly come for a yelling match with the blonde. 

“YOU CLEARLY DID! I BET YOUR FATHER PUT YOU UP TO THIS RIGHT? TOLD YOU TO GET CLOSE TO ME!” Harry snapped at her not understanding why she would not admit to it. He came here wanting to know her motive, wanted to understand why she did it. Harry would not leave until he had an answer from Sophia.

“LEAVE MY FAMILY OUT OF THIS!” Sophia matched him, pointing her finger at him. Harry’s anger began to rub off on the blonde woman. She could only handle being yelled at for so long before she could no longer control it herself. How dare he bring her family into this situation, they had nothing to do with it. It was her choice to go there, her choice to dance with him and her choice to kiss him. 

“I WAS NOT THE ONE LYING ABOUT WHO I WAS HARRY! YOU DID THAT ON YOUR OWN. HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS YOU!?” Sophia shook her head, tossing her hands up knowing it would be impossible to reason with the stubborn ginger haired prince.

“I wasn’t the one hiding that night and you know I am right…” Her voice became low, starring into the depths of Harry’s blue eyes. Some how during their yelling match their bodies had moved closer, a few feet apart. 

Harry watched her chest rise and fall, breathing unsteadily. Her cheeks flushed from their fight. “I WAS NOT HIDING! YOU WERE PLAYING GAMES WITH ME ALL NIGHT SOPHIA!”

“YOU THINK OUR KISS WAS A GAME?!” She questioned him in disbelief. Harry was more delusional than she thought.   

“OF COURSE! No doubt something your father made you do. What was the end game Sophia? Sell a story to the press? Make a quick buck?”

“Do not bring my family into this Harry!!! They had nothing to do with it!” Sophia battled back, not letting Harry down easy. No way was she backing down now, not after the way he relentlessly insulted her family.

Harry scoffed, not believing a word that left her lips. “I don’t believe a Cromwell snake. Had I known you were a Cromwell, I would not have wasted my time with you.” Harry barked a devilish laugh.

“Then why are you here?” Sophia backfired, taking one step towards him not backing down. “Why are you here wasting your time on a Cromwell now huh?” She angled her head up at him, not going to go down without a fight.

A smirk threatened to appear at her response. She was feisty and stubborn,  Harry would give her that. Harry knew what he needed to do to end this, something that was out of his character. He knew how to hurt a women and that was exactly what he was about to do. Sighing he released a final breath of rage wanting to finish this once and for all.

Towering over the blonde he smirked down at her. “I am not wasting my time here… I only wanted you to know that everything that happened that night meant absolutely nothing to me. That kiss was just another notch on my belt. I have no problem telling everyone you were just a lay for me. A desperate Cromwell wanting a taste of the crown. Do you really think they won’t believe me over you Sophia? Think about it.”

His deep voice continued its quiet assault as he whispered, “you Sophia, mean nothing to me. Only another dumb blonde aristo who tried to be with me.”

Harry could not see the hurt that was forming in Sophia’s blue eyes as anger clouded his vision blinding him from that fact. His words cut through her like a knife, stabbing her memory of that night.

Here he was, the man that had kissed her and gave her a sense that she was worth something only to have him knock her feet from under her. Sophia had never felt the way she did with Harry that night, not with any man before.

Her hope that something would come out of that night crumbled into dust, the ashes falling through her fingers as he spoke those hurtful words. Sophia closed her eyes, no longer wanting to see the man standing in front of her. Tears began to from, she begged and begged them not to betray her in this moment not wanting to give Harry any more satisfaction than he already had.

Harry watched her blue eyes shut him out. A tear trickled down her cheek. He felt a pang of guilt hit his chest, his heart dropping low. He desperately wanted to tell her that he didn’t mean it, that they were only words to protect him from her. That she was not nothing to him and his anger just got the best of him. That he was purely scared of the feelings she stirred in him that night. Feelings he could not have with a Cromwell.

He had come into her home and fought with her. Accused her, threatened her with the unthinkable, something he knew she would never do and in the process hurt her deeply. All he wanted to do was reach out and brush the tear off of her cheek and tell her how sorry he was, but she beat him to it.

“That’s too bad Harry.” She took a sobbing breath. “The kiss I shared with him, hell the night I shared with ‘Alex’ meant everything to me.” Sophia bravely locked eyes with the ginger haired prince, letting him see the aftermath of his attack on her. She was not one to break down in front of people, but Harry had reached a new level in his attack on her.

“I did not think a man like him could make me feel so low and like dirt. I thought he was different than the rest of them, but I guess I was wrong.” His mouth opened in an attempt to protest wanting to scream out that this was not who he was that he was only wanting to…he stopped to think. What did he want to do to her? Why had he come all this way? To see her tears? To see a dark side of him lash out at her? For Sophia to be his verbal punching bag?

 His failed attempt an apology caused her to continue.

 “Will you please leave my home… and don’t bother coming back here.” Sophia would not even look at Harry as she spoke those words.

 “Ever.”

 Harry desperately wanted to tell her that he was that man. That he was in protective mood, he was only unsure of her motives that night. She needed to know that she had consumed his mind every minute of every day.

 “Sophia…” he attempted one last time, but she quickly interjected clearly having heard enough from him.

 “LEAVE!!!” Sophia’s voice broke.

She wasn’t a partier, ever. Brianne assumed that was because she went right from college with Lynn, to pregnant with Rhys to then being a mother her whole life. Her mother and father taught her hard work pays off and she had done so her whole life. There weren’t vacations to, well, anywhere, except maybe America every once and a while when she was kid. She never had enough money to take Rhys away on vacation, so relaxing to Brianne was sitting for a day by the beach or lounging outside her dad’s house with a straw hat on her head and a book and margarita nearby.

Lynn was waiting at the airport for Brianne when she landed. Harry was spending another day in the snowy weather to ski with Guy, Eugenie and Jack. Catherine and William were also on the same flight as Brianne – just in first class.

As she disembarked, Brianne through her hood up and grabbed her carry-on bag. Her son was waiting at Kensington with her father.

“Are you and Harry having problems?” asked a reporter who pushed his way to the front asked as Brianne was walking down an escalator. “Are you and Harry having marital issues?” He asked again, seeming to follow her. After he asked a third time when Brianne turned around.

“Excuse me?” She questioned flipping down her hood and walking over to him, attempting to not make a scene or have William and Catherine come through.

“You heard me,” the man replied in a huff.

Brianne tried to calm her breathing before starting. “You try work for and living into a family you know little about. Taking on and hearing stories you don’t expect to hear. I didn’t grow up doing this. I feel confident in myself to go around alone. I don’t need Harry for everything I do. He’s a big boy. He’s done engagements for years before me.”  She turned around, flipped the hood back up and went to Lynn who already had her bags in hand.

“What?” Lynn asked as the best friends got in the car. Brianne should be happy to be home, not tense and rough. Brianne just shook her head at the question. She didn’t want to go into detail. “Bri, you’ve-“

“No,” the royal girlfriend cut off her friend. “I don’t have to explain. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m not cut out to be the girlfriend he wants. I’m not.”  Lynn sat and listened as Brianne explained the meltdown at the club and New Year’s Eve.  She sniffled before getting out of Lynn’s car at Nottingham; and composed herself as she walked into the house, smiling at her little boy.

He turned at the door’s opening. “Mummy!” Brianne’s tense feeling left as she knelt to her son’s level and hugged him with everything she had.  The life had gotten the best of her, and she needed to cool down; even if it meant forever.

Her dad saw through her façade and patted her shoulders. Lynn and Huw went upstairs to give the mother and son time to talk through some things.

“Mummy, I had so much fun with Charlotte and George.” Rhys rambled. “We coloured and watched movies and I got to see the Queen. Mummy, the Queen.” Brianne nodded as she took some Advil and continued to listen to her son but looked out the sliding glass doors at the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Park. The park was lined with people happy and unknowing her pain.

When she turned around she had tears pricking her eyes. She hated to leave this life, the man and family but she knew she had too. If she was ever going to be herself again, she had to go.

“Go upstairs, Rhys. Go pack some things. We’re going to take a trip,” Brianne told her son. He nodded and ran off to find his grandfather and Auntie Lynn. “Where did I go wrong?” Brianne whispered to herself.

She walked over the front foyer and she looked at the set up; which was under her purview. In between two candles was a lone photo.  It was Harry, Brianne and Rhys at Althorp House, near the Round Oval Lake. Brianne’s head was on Harry’s shoulder and Rhys was on Harry’s lap. She was taken from her revire when Lynn came down with two of her suitcases and Huw came down with a suitcase for Rhys.

“Where are you going, B?” Lynn asked sincerely. Brianne shrugged.

“America.” She deadpanned.

“America.” Huw nodded before clapping her on the shoulder. “Be well, Brianne. Don’t runaway because you’re scared, don’t runaway because you don’t love him. Don’t runaway because you don’t want to be found. If you’re going to runaway, runaway to make a new life.” She nodded and they talked out details. She would leave her car at her father’s house and Lynn would take them to the airport.

She left a note for Harry explaining she was quitting as his chef, and leaving as his lover. She’d call him in a few days to officially say goodbye but her heart and mind wasn’t in the relationship anymore.

"Thank you so much for your help".

"It is I who should thank you for all your help with my dinner after all," He answered returning the shy smile on her face with a wide grin before it widen in realisation, "Which I'm not entirely sure what to do with all the ingredients."

"No I don't think you do, I don't appear to have any paper on me, do-" She paused for a moment, biting her lip before releasing almost as quickly in fear of ruining her make up. Summoning the courage within herself to continue the sentence, she brought her hand up to swipe a wavy lock of hair that had fallen out of place, "Do you have your phone on you? I'll  text you the recipe."

A smile filled Harry's face as he dug his hand into his pocket and pulled the device out unlocking it before passing it over to her, mirroring his actions, she gently took a hold of his phone as she passed her own over to him. They exchanged numbers before they were left in a short silence until the car horn went off. Turning to glare lightly at Jayne, Kimberly gave a short chuckle as she turned back to Harry who promptly pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back lightly before releasing her and muttering a soft goodbye.

"Goodbye Harry, I'll see you around." As she finished her sentence, she made her way to her side of the car but the sound of her voice had her turning back to the man who was still stood at the back of her car, granted more unsettled than when she had said goodbye, "Yes?" Her gentle answer seemed to calm him as his shoulders dropped slightly as the tension slowly fell out of them.

"I-I um, wanted to invite you to a garden party Nan's having tomorrow." He stuttered quietly, slowly taking a few steps to close the gap that had been created between them. Noting how Kimberly's face reacted to his words and her mouth opened to respond - negatively he was sure, "I'm aware it's late notice but Catherine would really love to see you there. She's the one who urged me to invite you."

Taking in a deep breath, Kimberly gave a stiff smile as his words raced around her head, trying to process them. Opening her mouth to state a response, she stumbled over her words before looking down at her feet for a moment,  choosing to ignore the eyes that were glued onto her.

"Of course, I'd love to." She responded,  her head rising as she nodded at him. A smile flooded Harry's face as his own mouth opened to respond but the sound of the car horn interrupted him followed by Jayne's shout.

"Sorry to ruin the moment but we have melting ice in the back." Before she shoved her head back into the car, prompting the two to say their goodbyes before she entered her car, giving him a wave as she drove away.

Kimberly caught Jayne up with what happened on the journey back, the blonde squealing as her friend spoke. It wasn't until they arrived at the hall that she finally composed herself as she grabbed some of the wine and took it in, the boys taking over the minute they entered the building.

As the party drew to a close, the small group of friends sat together around one of the tables that still had an unopened bottle of champagne on it. Jayne, Kimberly and Josephine decked in their matching outfits and Richard, Daniel and Benjamin wearing their suits. Richard was cradling Kimberly to his chest as they all conversed in the quiet lull of leaving guests, who occasionally congratulated the couple before leaving.

"Guess who we ran into at the supermarket?" Jayne suddenly spoke, sitting up from her position between Josie's legs, the redhead's fingers slipping through the curls that had started to drop. Without giving anyone chance to answer, "Ginger Wales." The statement caught everyone's attention as Kimberly's head dropped into Richard's neck as she groaned. "And, wait for it, he invited Kimmi to a family garden party on Saturday. Tomorrow!"

"Did he Kim?" Daniel questioned, perking up from his seat and placing his flute glass on the table. A grunt came from Kim but her  head didn’t move. Jayne nodded frantically before going on to talk to the others about the party much to Kimberly's displeasure. A groan left the girl's mouth, causing her friends to chuckle at her for a moment as she finally sat up, shaking her at her friends.

"You guys are unbelievable."

"Well, forgive us for being happy for you, putting yourself out there again." Josie teased, leaning over to give her friend a pinch on the cheek with a grin on her face.

"I'll have you know that's not what I'm doing at all." She responded, picking up her flute and finishing the wine that was still inside as she got up from Richard's lap ignoring her friends calls as she began picking up the fallen balloons off the floor.

Sitting at her vanity, Kimberly's face was scrunched up as her friends rushed around her with different products in their hands, getting her ready. When she had called them earlier that day, she hadn't expected to be bombarded with all of them which was exactly what she found when she opened her door when they had arrived. Jayne and Josie were doing her make up, talking between themselves but never asking Kimberly herself. Richard and Daniel had decided they were going to do her hair as they came armed with different hair products and curlers which sparked fear in Kim straight away. The choking clouds of hairspray quickly filled the room as the two got to work. Adam had disappeared in her closet hunting down for something for her to wear, muttering to himself occasionally as he looked at her clothes.

All the details of the garden party had been sent to her via message at about the same time she got home last night or should she say early morning and it was only them she realised she had never messaged him the recipe she had promised to. Being urged into her bathroom and promptly passed her outfit for the day by Adam. Carefully pulling the dress on, avoiding smearing the makeup or pulling any of the curls out, she straightened out the dress. Gently stepping into the heels lying on the floor, she stared at herself in the mirror cocking her head to the side as she looked at her friends' handiwork. She had a light face of makeup, her eyes having the most makeup on them, making them stand out. The curls gently bordered her face, falling down her shoulder and back in seamless waves. The blue floral dress that Adam had chosen, lightly hugged her chest and flared around her thighs, the colour matching that of the heels on her feet. Smiling at her reflection, she pushed the bathroom door open, revealing herself to her friends - finally feeling up to attending the party at all.

Pulling up outside, the nerves finally began to settle inside her once again as she turned to Adam sat in the driver's seat. Smiling reassuringly at her, he simple placed a kiss on her hand before getting out the car to open her door. Helping her out, she gave him a hug, his lips pressing against her forehead. Adam gave her a small nudge before wishing her well. Smiling back at her friend, she took in a deep breath before walking up the steps and giving her name, disappearing off inside the gates.

Stopping immediately as the large backyard scene came into view, she could feel her palms get sweating and her heart speed up. Immediately catching sight of people she had only dreamed of meeting all socialising with one another not even 5 metres in front of her. Holding her breath, she scanned around looking for Harry hoping that he’d be able to give her even the slightest bit of comfort - even though he had a way of making her feel worse than she did at the moment. Feeling her breathing deepen, her eyes widening in fear, she turn on her spot on the patio, heading straight for the gates she had just come through, hoping Adam was still there. Before she could even take a step, a hand fell on her shoulder causing her to turn around, the beaming face of the Duchess of Cambridge filling her sight, making her feel calmer instantly.

“Hello,” She greeted, gently rubbing Kimberly’s shoulder as she spoke, “Don’t look so scared, they can sense fear.” She joked, guiding the girl deeper into the crowd of people, keeping a steady conversation going at all times.

“I see Harry convinced you to come,” A chuckle leaving her mouth, as she held onto the girl’s elbow, “I’m thrilled to see you here.”

“No, thank you for inviting. Harry said you’re the reason why he asked.”

“He did, did he?” She hummed, Kimberly nodding her head before they came to a halt. Kate reached over tapping one of the men by the barbeque gently by the shoulder. Hearing a slight mumbled excuse me, the Duke turned around to face the two women, a smile lighting up his face.

“Miss Stroakes! What a pleasure to see you again.”

“The pleasure is all mine your highness,” Her words had both Cambridges shaking their head and chuckling quietly.

“Just William and Kate is alright for this occasion. Your friends warned me you’re a stickler for formalities.” William stated,  a warm smile on his face as he did so.

“Then its just Kimberly or any other variation of the name to you as well.” The royals smiled instantly, Kate’s smile growing if it could as she looked over Kimberly’s shoulder. Lifting her arm up and waving someone over as Kimberly got stuck in a conversation with William. It wasn’t until a figure stood behind that she turned her head away from the Duke. Turning around slowly, the younger Prince stood in front of her wearing a pair of sunglasses over his eyes.

“Take those off, there’s no sun around.” William reprimanded jokingly, as he looked at his brother.

“Look who I found trying to leave without saying goodbye.” Kate’s words had Kim’s eyes widening as she turned to face the brunette with an open mouth. The Duchess simply grinned at her in response before leading her husband back towards the barbeque.

“I apologise for them, they’re not usually like that.” Harry apologised, bringing a hand up to push the sunglasses so they sat on top of his head. Kimberly simply waved it off, saying her friends often acted the same way.

Offering her his arm, she held onto his elbow with her right hand, her left gripping onto her bag trying to keep a grip on reality as she was shown around the residence. Something about the whole thing excited her or more so something about Harry excited her, as she found her gaze falling to him rather than what she was being shown. As they emerged from the french doors, separating the garden and the house, Kate’s eyes fell on the two as they conversed at the edge of the crowd, the hand that held onto his arm never dropping not even when they sat down. A smile filled her face as she pointed William’s attention there as well.

“Would you like to meet the family?” The question caught Kimberly off guard as she choked on her drink, placing the glass down as she looked directly at the Prince. Fear laced her face, Harry could see it causing him to take action. His free hand fell onto her free hand, his thumb rubbing circles onto the back of her hand redirecting her attention. “They’ll love you. It’s only be Dad, Zara and Mike who you don’t know, they’d be thrilled.”

“I-I don’t know...I mean, I’m not really...I can’t do that.” When Harry didn’t respond, her eyes rose from their hands to his face, catching the fading dejected face before closing her eyes and speaking quietly, “Okay, I’ll do it.”

“You don’t-”

“I want to, I’ve always been a big equestrian fan, to meet Zara Tindall would be a dream come true plus I can rub meeting Mike Tindall in my brother’s face.” Laughing at what she said, Harry rose from his seat, their arms unlinking for the first time as he held a hand out to her and led her onto the grass heading for the picnic table where the aforementioned were sitting. Feeling her heart beat against her chest, she unconsciously gave Harry hand a squeeze receiving one back effectively calming her down slightly but missing the adoring look Harry gave her.

Zara had spotted the pair before they had reached the table, standing up and giving her cousin a hug. Letting go of Harry’s hand as she awkwardly stood off the side, watching the interaction, she spared a glance at the table, taking another deep breath.

“Where had you been? I’ve hardly seen you around today,” She stated before trailing off as her eyes fell on Kimberly, a smiled grew on her face as she moved over extending a hand to the girl, “I’m Zara, nice to meet you.”

“Kimberly, it’s wonderful to meet you too.” She responded, trying to contain her joy at the hand she held in her own. Harry’s hand rested on her lower back directing her forwards, throwing her mind into a jumble only catching the slight quiet exclamation from Zara.

“You never told me you knew Kimberly Stroakes.” As she sat down next to her husband, Harry pulling out a chair for Kimberly before taking one for himself.

“Dad this is Kimberly, Kimberly this is my dad.”

“It’s an honour to meet you, Your Highness.” She said, bowing her head slightly before looking up at the man,

“The honour’s mine young lady, I’ve heard a great deal about you.” Looking taken aback by his words, she looked over at Harry who looked heavily mortified before quickly introducing Mike and Kimberly.

“My brother is a huge fan, I know you very well. Probably too well.” The comment had the table of five laughing. Harry’s arm wrapped around Kimberly’s shoulder, giving her bare arms a little bit of warmth as the night began to creep in on them.

“It’s been great meeting you, Kimberly, I refrained from saying this earlier but I love hummingbird.”

“She does, she loves everything about it.” Mike pitched in, eliciting a chuckle from the girl as the couple linked hands.

“That’s wonderful. It’s been lovely meeting you as well. I’m sorry I have to leave so soon.”

“Don’t worry about, we’ll see each other again.”

“I certainly do hope so,” She stated genuinely as she stood next to the blonde who pulled her into a hug, quickly followed by Mike doing the same. Turning to face the Prince of Wales, Kimberly gave a small curtsy, thanking him before saying goodbye as she stood straight once again. Taking the arm offered to her, Kimberly took a step towards the gates she entered through until a hand fell upon her shoulder.

“Zara wouldn’t it be lovely if Kimberly joined us next weekend?” William’s voice came from over Kimberly’s head, turning to face the Duke who had appeared behind her.

“Of course, would you care to join us next weekend? We’re taking Mia riding for the first time and spending the weekend with the family, you can even stay at the villa with us all weekend.” Stammering over her words, Kimberly bit her lip as she looked at the expectant faces before her before managing to get out a yes. At the single word, Zara handed the girl her phone to insert her number into before waving her off as Harry led her away from his family members.

“You don’t have to come just to please us.”

“I’m not-”

“I saw the deer in headlights expression before you agreed.”

“No, I want to. I quite like your family.”

“More than me?” He teased, as they reached the stairs, turning to face each other, smiling up at him, she gave a small shrug.

“I mean, Zara and Catherine are something special but I don’t think I like them more than you. Not yet anyway.” The redhead smiled down at her, their hands still joined as they looked at each other. The silence was broken by the sound of a car horn, drawing their attention to Kimberly’s car that pulled up where she was dropped off. Laughing lightly, she pulled her hand from him, thanking him quietly but before her hand could slip out, his grip tightened as he spoke.

“It was a pleasure, you better go before you catch a cold.” He murmured quietly to her, pulling her towards him and giving her a hug, kissing the curls atop her head before stepping away.

“You should too, don’t want you catching a cold.” She muttered back, smiling as she turned and went down the stair to the car. Entering it in silence, she gave a small wave to Harry as they drove away, a contented sigh leaving her lips, causing Adam to smile from the driver’s seat. His smile matching the one left on her face.

This is a long one and it’s long awaited! Also HAPPY NEW YEAR! I had a thrill writing this chapter, I just loved it and I hope you guys enjoy it. If there’s anything you want to see, have to say or any feedback you want to tell don’t hesitate to do so. I would love some feedback on how to improve.