headcanon ;Â Â green green grass of home
these are the lyrics to the song thats playing in the background when jane exits the semi truck and gets to her aunt and mothers house on larrabee and i think it says a lot about the emotions she holds for her visit in the time from arrival to departure from the home as well as some emotions she very likely had during her time in hnl that she probably wasn’t able to work out until after leaving
It's good to touch the green, green grass of home Yes, they'll all come to meet me, arms reaching, smiling sweetly It's good to touch the green, green grass of home
The old house is still standing tho' the paint is cracked and dry And there's that old oak tree that I used to play on Down the lane I walk with my sweet Mary Hair of gold and lips like cherries It's good to touch the green, green grass of home
Then I awake and look around me At four grey walls that surround me And I realize, yes, I was only dreaming For there's a guard and there's a sad old padre Arm in arm, we'll walk at daybreak Again I touch the green, green grass of homeÂ
the part about the cracked dry paint and the old oak tree are things she obviously wouldnt have actually dreamed about while under brenners care in hawkins, as to her the life she had in hawkins was normal and she never experienced those things, however i think walking up to the home initially was an extremely emotional experience because for the first time she got a real glimpse into what her childhood may have looked like had she been born into the life that she was meant to be. it reintroduces the longing she felt in hawkins, but standing in front of the childhood home she never got to know she’s able to work out what that longing / general unease she felt in hawkins was, and she can see what she subconsciously was longing for is now right in front of her.Â
unfortunately at that point the damage is already done, and now her aunt and mothers home leaves her with a feeling of sadness, alienation, and nostalgic disconnect as opposed to the feeling of home and belonging she had been looking for and continues to look for throughout the season. this is displayed in the song, where it begins with the dream ie her expectation of being welcomed into her mothers arms on a green grass lawn while happy feelings and childhood memories wash over her. instead, shes left with that empty, four - grey wall feeling and i’m sure a fair amount of loneliness.
