#pheo

I like just staring at my characters sometimes. When I am sad they are always there for me to think about. Something soft that I can make happy or use to deconstruct or explore hard topics or situations for me or think about my life in different angles and lights. They will always be around. Sure, I can not see then unless I draw them. They always are though and I can always draw them when I need to feel like I can sit near something I feel safe exploring thoughts with. Something I can't make a mistake with because it's just for me and I know their exact personalities and thoughts and moves. It is not for anyone else so all that matters is how they make me feel.

I wish I could reach through the screen, have them be real. So I can say thank you and have them know how deeply I mean it and how much they mean to me and how much I love them and want to make sure their plots all end with them content with life and happy even if It started off with pain.

Some are more personal then others. Some have versions of them made purely for sharing with others or using in public contexts. I'll seldom tell anyone the proper version of my OCs. Even people I am close to.

Anyway, here above is one of the one that has the most altered version of for public use. Almost no-one gets the exact same summary as someone else. I always change it a bit around for each spacific person I talk to and what I am willing to share about him with them. He is also the hardest to draw and to get to look like him for no gosh darn reason.

I wish I had a visual imagination cause then I could atleast know what part of him I am getting wrong. But no, I just have to keep playing around until my brain sees the drawing and registers it as, yes that is Leir. I am getting closer. He mostly seems like him now visually. Something is off though. Like looking at someone who looks like your father but with slightly different eyes. Almost exactly right, but a tad uncanny and skewed.

oh no, it's pheo (the monkey)! 🐵☀️🌙