#phase 5

The countdown has begun.

Have we met before?

(text less vers)

"Countdown for what, Dusty?" I hear you ask. Well truth be told, I'm just actually going to hunker down and get to writing and illustrating my The Now Now/Humanz re-write. The working title for it is We Are Still Humanz if you. Couldn't already guess that. These drawings have been a WIP for a hot minute. Finally made myself sit down and finish the whole band today.

ᓚᘏᗢ 𓈒∘ ꒰This is what I live for. Imagine Souk Eye hitting harder in this situation.꒱

A sad day on the beach

⚓︎ Pairing: Murdoc with child reader

⚓︎ Summary: You thought being away from him would feel better than it did.

It wasn’t fair. Nothing was ever fair to you. It felt like you were brought into this world for the soul purpose to be mocked by the universe. You were currently staying in good ol’ sunny Los Angeles, California. Much nicer than the gloom and doom that’s London. The beaches here were warm and full of life. The sand burned your feet and the water was just cold enough to cool you down but you couldn’t enjoy any of it because of the overwhelming sense of…you didn’t know what. Sadness? Anger? Anxiety? All of the above? Who knows! Because you sure as hell didn’t.

Your dad, Murdoc had been locked up after being framed for the murder of El Mierda or something like that. You knew the real reason was all those unpaid parking tickets he always tossed in the trash. The paparazzi had been bugging you about it. Constantly tracking you down, pointing cameras in your face, asking intruding questions. This whole situation pissed you off.

The waves lapped at your feet, washing the sand from between your toes as you stared into the vast ocean, lost in thought. You fidgeted with the cross necklace hanging from your neck. Your dad gave it to you before he got halled off. He was an awful man…but he was your dad. The two of you constantly fought and never saw eye to eye. Without him there to pick on you, things felt…off.

A hand on your shoulder startled you. Your head whipped around and your whole body tensed up. Ace stood over you with that stupid smirk that never seemed to falter. You didn’t like this guy. You didn’t have a reason, he just gave you the wrong vibe. “Make sure you don’t burn, rockstar. You’re not in the Queen’s land anymore.” He snorted. The nickname pissed you off. He didn’t have the right to call you that. Only the band called you that…after Murdoc gave it to you. “Don’t call me that.” You muttered. He laughed before walking away. You heard him whisper something along the lines of “just like your father…” as he left. You were NOTHING like him! You’d rather die than be like him.

The bright blue sky slowly dimmed, turning into a vast array of pinks and oranges you found pretty. The way the light reflected off the ocean put you at ease. Most people were clearing off the beach as the sun set but you decided to stay. You stayed till all the colors faded to black and the ocean looked like a void. The darkness and chill wind made you wonder if it’s cold in jail. Should you even care? He’s probably happy to be away from you. He didn’t want you anyway! Why did things have to be so complicated? Emotions were hard. Everyone else was glad Murdoc was gone, you should be too, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be. It pissed you off that you missed him. In a fit of rage, you tore the necklace from your neck and tossed it into the water but immediately regretted it so you dived in after it, hoping the waves wouldn’t pull it out to sea. Now you were soaked and fuming. You put the necklace back on and started heading to the hotel.

Of course when you got to the room your key wasn’t working. Nothing ever seemed to work for you. You swiped the card multiple times, but the light kept blinking obnoxious red. You were about to bang on the door when Noodle came up behind you, carrying a bucket of ice. “Where’ve you been? We were starting to worry about you.” She used her key and it worked first try.

The room was trashed, of course. Everywhere you all went you left chaos in your wake. Russ was passed out with the tv remote still in his hand. Ace was on the phone with…god knows who. Then out of the corner of your eye you noticed 2-D sitting on the balcony with his synthesizer. You tread through the mess to get to the balcony door. You could hear the faint melody he was playing and his attempt to put lyrics to the music.

“I will always think about you

That's why I'm calling you back on my way through

I wanna stay with you for a long time, I want to be stone love

I wanna see L.A. in your eyes when I'm leaving with your love…”

Sliding open the door, letting the cool air chill your soaking skin. 2-D looked up at you and smiled. “Hey- why’re you all wet?” You sat down next to him and shrugged. “I took a dip.” “I’ll get you a towel. Mudz wouldn’t like it if we let you freeze to death.” He left you to fetch a towel. You wondered what he was working on. It sounded nice. You were sure he was having the best time without Murdoc there.

When he came back, he draped the towel over you and ruffled your hair then sat back down next to you. “What’re you writing?” You asked. His smile faltered a bit and he sighed. “I’m not really sure.” He let out a strained chuckle. You could tell something was bothering him. “Are you ok?” Your question caught him off guard. “Of course, I am. Why?” 2-D tilted his head. “I don’t know…I just- I miss him…it’s so stupid and I know he’s a piece of shit but-“ “I do too.” That surprised you. “Really?” He nodded in response. “Isn’t it weird how we miss the people that hurt us? People say that’s not a good thing, but it just doesn’t feel right without him here.” He looks to you with a pitiful smile. “It’s ok to miss him. He’s your dad even if he is a sod.” That made you feel a little bit better.

The next morning you woke up with a sore neck but well rested. The best sleep you’d gotten in months. Someone had put you in one of the beds even though your spot had been the couch. Nonetheless you were grateful. You rubbed your eyes and tried to shake the sleep that clouded your head before slipping out of bed to go find everyone. Russ was in the living room, on the phone. When he noticed you walk in his head perked up. “-Yeah they just woke up.” Then he handed the phone to you. You were still groggy from your heavy sleep, so you really didn’t know how to react. “Uhh…hello?” “Ah there you are, rockstar!” That familiar gravelly voice rang through the phone and woke you right up. “Hi dad.” You sunk into the couch, holding the phone close. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. I hope you aren’t having too much fun without me.” You couldn’t stop the smile from forming on your face. “Just didn’t want to bother you.” “Oh sure, I know you’re thriving along with the rest of them. You’ve probably forgotten all about your dear old man.” Murdoc sighed dramatically. You rolled your eyes. “I really do miss you.” The line went silent and you were starting to regret your words. ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’ or I care about you’ was never something the two of you did. It was just a fact you never discussed. He never said it and you didn’t either. “Dad-“ “I’ve got to go, kid. I’ve run out of tim-“ There was a click then the line went dead. You slammed the phone back into the receiver. Feeling your lip quiver you quickly pushed down your emotions before they spilled over.

A few months go by and Murdoc was let out. You asked to stay at the hotel so you could have some time to yourself. Sitting on the balcony listening to the peaceful sounds of waves and laughter on the beach. The regular scheduled chaos would be back. Moving around, getting into trouble, making music, the usual. Back to the fighting and broken dishes…

The sound of the sliding door opening pulled you from your thoughts. There he was. Your father stood over you with a black eye and a cloud over his head. He didn’t seem like himself. He seemed tired and worn down. This was merely a shell of your father they let out. He sat down next to you, not quite sure what to say. He noticed you still wore his necklace which made a real, genuine smile grow on his face. It was small but you noticed. “Glad to see you kept it safe.” Murdoc reached over and ran his fingers over the gold cross. You looked down at his hand as you remembered you still had it on. “Oh yeah.” You started to take it off, but he stopped you. “Nah, nah you keep it. Don’t say I never gave you anything.” He flicked your nose and chuckled, but you weren’t smiling. His smile faltered for a bit, catching on to your attitude.

Murdoc looked out onto the beach, taking in the view. “Quite the sight, aye? Could get used to this.” He propped his feet up on the banister, looking back at you and that miserable expression on your face. “Aw c’mon, rockstar…what’s got your knickers in a twist?” “God…you really don’t get it. You really are just a piece of shit.” You sighed, burying you face in your hands

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the band watching argument breakout. 2-D quickly shut the curtain but you knew they were still listening. “I just wanna know if I’m some burden you keep around.” you muttered. He doesn’t know how to respond. Of course he doesn’t. No one’s ever called out his bullshit before. This isn’t a problem he can run away from.