#phantomzone

Kara lays on the rock she now calls a bed, staring at the ceiling of her cave. She has no idea how long she has been in the phantom zone. Days, weeks, months, years… hell, decades could have passed by now. Her eyes fill with tears of frustration as she silently curses her friends and family back on Earth. How have they not found a way to bring her home yet.

“Kara?”

By now, Kara doesn’t even react. She is so used to the twisted tricks and mind games that the phantoms play here. They make her see what she wants to see. Each time slightly different, but the ending is always the same. They play out a scene, building up the hope in her, only for it to be absolutely crushed, taken away from her at the last moment.

She hears them take a step towards her. “Kara, it’s me.”

“Go away, you aren’t real,” Kara finally says. She rolls on the rock, turning so she faces away from her.

The figure stops moving, letting out an audible sigh. There is silence for a moment. “Kara, I know it’s hard to believe. I can’t imagine what horrors you have been through. I know it’s taken us too long to get here. But I’m here now to bring you back.”

Kara barks out a laugh that is so un-Kara-like, the person visible shudders.

“Kara, please.”

Pent up frustration and anger finally unleash as Kara sits up and faces them. “It won’t work this time. I know what this is. You. Are. Not. Real. You come to me. Convince me that we have a way out. We traverse through the phantom zone to some other part of it, to some new potential exit. Only for it to be ripped away from me somehow at the last possible moment. Usually with you dying in the process. So, no. I. Will. Not. Do. This. Again. I’m done. You’ve won. Ok. You. Have. Won. I’ve given up hope of ever getting out of here.”

“Kara, it’s me. It’s Lena.” Lena’s eyes fill with tears, seeing Kara broken like this.

Kara shakes her head. “No, it isn’t. You aren’t real. The real you is on Earth. You’ve all probably given up on finding me already.”

Lena runs up, kneeling down in front of Kara. “Kara, you know that isn’t true. We would never stop. Never. Now please, we have to go. The portal won’t stay open for long.”

“No,” comes Kara’s curt reply. She looks away from Lena, defeated.

Lena sighs, trying to think of a different tactic. “Ok… let’s say you are right. That I am just a figment of the phantom zone sent to torture you again. What if you’re wrong?”

“What?” Kara asks, only sounding mildly intrigued.

“What if you are wrong? What if I really am Lena from Earth? And you are throwing away your one chance at going home with her? With me?”

Kara chews on her lip, mulling over Lena’s words. She lets out a slow breath. “You’re saying even if I don’t believe at all that you are actually Lena, that doesn’t change the fact that I should still follow you. Even if I know this will just end up in catastrophe and heartbreak… I should still try in the slim chance it is actually a way out.”

Lena nods.

Kara looks away again, debating, her mind in conflict with itself. It’s a few minutes before Kara finally lets out a sigh. “Ugh. Fine. But when you die, I’m going to yell at you that I told you so... Phantom Lena.”

Lena smiles. “Deal. Now, let’s get going, please.” She stands up and reaches her hand out, hoping Kara will take it. Kara looks at it and pauses for a brief moment before reaching out and taking it. Kara is surprised when Lena doesn’t let go of her hand after they start walking.

“The portal is up and over this ridge, across the valley. It took some time to locate you based on a phantom we have in captivity on Earth. But even that didn’t pinpoint your exact location, just which plane you were on.” Lena says it all in a hurry as she pulls Kara along, who seems to be in no hurry to see Lena die again.

“Yeah yeah, I know I know. There is always some really great explanation for how you got here.”

Lena grits her teeth but doesn’t respond to Kara’s lashing out.

“Is it always me?” She asks Kara after some awkward silence.

“What?”

“That comes to you? That you see die? Is it always me?”

Kara is silent for a moment. “Not always… every once in a while it’s Alex.”

“So, it is usually me?”

Kara sighs. “Yes. Why are you asking this? It isn’t like you don’t know this. You are creating these things because you’ve seen inside my mind. You know who is most important to me Phantom Lena.”

Lena doesn’t respond.

They walk another ten minutes in silence before they peak up over a ridge.

“There!” Lena says, pointing to a portal. She looks excited, but it quickly dissipates as she looks over to see Kara with a downtrodden look on her face.

“Yeah yeah, let’s just get this over with.”

Lena nods and continues to pull Kara along with her, hand in hand as they make their way down the ridge and across the valley to the portal. “Come on, we need to hurry. It is set to close in a few minutes.”

“And there’s the catch,” comes Kara’s sharp reply as she stops walking, pulling her hand free from Lena.

Lena turns around to face Kara, red faced and exasperated. “Kara, dammit! I know you don’t believe me. I know this place has fucked with your head beyond my comprehension. But right now, right here, I just need you to listen to me. Ok. It’s me. Your Lena. The one who totally fucked up this past year and has been trying so very hard to get you back for weeks now. The one who wants nothing more than to pull you back through this portal to Earth so I can finally tell you how much I have missed you and how I might actually be in love with you. So come with me now… Please.” Lena ends her monologue breathless. Her eyes going wide as she realizes exactly what she just said.

Seeing Lena so exasperated, hearing the words she said, something in Kara jolts. She nods. Lena again reaches her hand out. Kara takes it. They turn towards the portal and start to run. As they run, Kara sees it, the sides and top of the portal starting to close.

“It’s closing Lena!” Kara says.

“You go first!” Lena says determinedly.

“Lena!”

“Kara!”

Kara chances a glance over, the memory of the last time she heard Lena yell her name like that coming to her mind. As she does, she sees Lena also looking at her.

“You are getting out of here, today.” Lena says this part much calmer. And though Lena doesn’t say it, Kara hears the implied part.

With or without me

They sprint the rest of the way as the portal starts to close, inch by inch. Kara’s eyes go wide. Her mind is telling her it is too late, but her feet keep racing towards the portal. As they close in on the portal, Kara suddenly feels Lena’s hand on her back. Kara has just enough time to look over and see a sad smile on Lena’s face, before she feels an extra force, pushing her through the portal.

As Kara falls through the portal, she rolls and lands hard on the ground. Her vision is blurry, and her ears are ringing. When she finally comes too, the first thing she sees is Alex, bent over top of her, her eyes full of tears of joy.

“She did it,” Alex says softly. “She really did it.”

Alex pulls Kara into a hug. Kara finally takes in her surroundings, realizing that she is back in the Tower, on Earth. She made it; she is back. She then finally sees everyone else, gathering around. Nia, Brainy, Kelly, J’onn, and M’gann.

Kara realizes it then. “Where is she? Where’s Lena?” Kara asks, pulling out of her hug with Alex.

Alex’s expression changes from happiness to sadness. “Kara… she… she didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

Alex looks away, her eyes full of new tears now. Brainy steps forward. “The portal we managed to design. It only allowed for the same number of beings to pass through in each direction. Therefore, because only one person went into the phantom zone, only one could come out.”

Kara leans back, away form Alex as Brainy’s words sink in. “No… no… just… open it back up… open it up so she can come back through.”

“We cannot. It was designed to open where you were.”

“So… so design it to open where Lena is.”

“We do not have the necessary tools to do that. Besides, someone else would need to enter in order for her to come out. The same problem would occur.” Brainy says it all matter-of-factly, though the pain was clear on his face. Nia steps up behind him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“So fix it!” Kara says, looking from Alex to Brainy, back and forth, trying to understand what is happening. Alex gives her a sad, defeated look. Kara’s eyes fill with tears. “No no no. This is not supposed to happen. How can I get out only to still lose her!”

That’s when it hits her. The realization dawns on Kara.

“This isn’t real. I’m still there.”

“Kara…” Alex says softly.

“No. This isn’t real. This is another vision. Another hallucination.”

The others move closer to Kara, a shared look of concern on their faces. J’onn finally speaks. “Kara, I know this is hard to believe, but you are home, with your family.”

Kara crosses her arms and shakes her head. “Lena would never save me just to lose me again. You all would never let her sacrifice herself to save me. This is the phantom zone finding a new way to torture me.”

Alex stands up. “Kara, you don’t know what you’re saying. Let’s just get you up, get you into the medbay, under the sun lamp. You’ll feel better.” She reaches out her hand, offering it to Kara.

Kara refuses. She keeps her arms crossed and stays planted on the floor. “No, Phantom Alex. You aren’t real. None of this is real. This is all in my head. I’m ready to go back to my rock bed now.”

The Superfriends all glance around to each other, before Alex shrugs.

“Very well, Kara Zor-El.”

The next thing Kara knows, she is waking up, on the rock she has become familiar with, in the cave that has become her home. She stares at the ceiling. The events of the last attack passing through her mind. Phantom Lena told her she loved her. They pulled that from Kara’s own mind. Because apparently, that’s what Kara wants. She wants Lena to be in love with her. Because she is in love with Lena.

“Well… fuck,” Kara says out loud to no one but herself.

She continues thinking about her own feelings for Lena. How strong her reactions towards or about Lena have always been, since they became friends. How quickly she defended Lena, even when she didn’t know her that well. How much she didn’t like when James and Lena dated, even though she never told a soul about that. How relieved she was when they broke up. How scared she was to tell Lena the truth about being Supergirl. More scared than she has ever been to tell anyone.

“Oh… I’m an idiot,” Kara says to herself. “I’m in love with Lena Luthor… and it took being stuck in the phantom zone… with phantom versions of her… to realize this…”

Kara stares at the ceiling for a long time after this realization. Because no matter how much of an epiphany this is. It does not change the fact that she is, in fact, still stuck in the phantom zone with no foreseeable way out of it. And while she has faith that Alex and Lena and the others are doing everything that they can to get her out, it is hard not to lose that faith. Because with each passing moment and each time she falls into another vision, she does lose that hope and that trust that she will one day get out of here.

But now? Now she might have a renewed sense of that hope. Because now she has a reason to hang on to it. She needs to tell Lena that she loves her. That she has been in love with her for a long time now, but she just didn’t realize it. And that maybe being in love with Lena is a big part of the reason she found it so difficult to tell her the truth. And also, maybe, if Lena is up for it, go on a date.