#phantasm anon

Even in the most recent stream I watched (Bacon's Jan 6 vod. sigh.) she seemed... almost lost. She didn't participate in the "event" beyond giving Poafa chorus fruit and started the Hdusa bit, and even that felt half hearted since she wasn't being subtle about it at all where I feel like any other time she'd keep the ruse going for just a little bit longer. (This was also when she learned elytra were unbanned and Minute gave her one ^-^)

My understanding of Zam's s4 -> s5 character is that her actions in s5 were a desperate grasp for power and control after feeling helpless for most of s4 that would turn violently extreme, which later led to the opposite extreme in s6. But before that was a relentless sense of ennui where she was searching for fights to just feel anything at all, give her a reason to log on. And soon she'll have one, and give everyone else the gift purpose too..

-- phantasm

once a week i go to the gas station and i get a giant cup of dr pepper. then i drink abt half of it, and dump whatever half-drinken drinks i have into it. usually it just ends up being a weird concoction of slightly alcoholic soda, but one time twas:

dr pepper, 2 different flavors of rockstar, mango monster, 6 flavors of faygo, a little of a java monster, splash of kaluah, some irish cream, fireball, a little bit of a long island, some midori, and last but not least,,, that green shite that makes you hallucinate i cant remember what its called.

and the worst part is.

it wasnt that bad

-phantasm anon

also i love love love e anons this little motherfucker prn set!!! /gen (may or may not steal them for myself fhshd)

also can i nab 'phantasm anon' for a tag?

Ofc! That's a lovely anon tag :]

Pronouns under the cut!

Mapicc sounded kinda sad during that convo after Zam told him Flame killed Leo at Spawn... in the past fighting the BFB was always a surefire way to get Zam fired up and ready to protect the server by his side, but once she refused he knew that she'd really left him behind, leading to him proposing the Warden apocalypse at Zaun... which immediately backfired on him. Dude logged on, brought over an army, which then trampled him and Jepexx and logged off. No one else is doing it like him (affectionate). Also we joke that the rain is a paid actor but in that moment the Server Itself was

Damn that fight lasted and hour and a half... Zam taunting Flame about the consequences of his actions catching up to him while backed by Wardens... chat is this aura? If those Wardens had locked onto Flame instead at the end Atlas honestly would've won and I don't thing the Mawn gang would've ever lived down all being killed by their own trap haha

Interesting how Flame decided he was done tossing Zam into the Torment Nexus after killing her once... Like most everyone else added this season he just does not have that stone sword mentality. They (the adds) view every death as a major loss when in reality it's a war of attrition until you're banned. And like, to be fair, deaths in other servers and pvp matches have more meaning (idk about this actually I've been avoiding mcyt/smp stuff like the plague for like 6 years. what I mean to say is that the stuff Flame is used to has a requires a very different mindset than lifesteal) and it's a lesson I'm sure they're learning the hard way

"was it worth it" / "i don't know" ow ow ow ow.

"...I just want my partner back" OW.

"Derap is bro's partner"

Excuse me has he been one of her friends on the server for every season?? Her closest ally?? Her toughest opponent?? Her teammate, her guardian?? Her tormentor, her hunter?? Is Derap the one who calmly explained how to best tunnel away from Mane, the reason Zam escaped?? Did Derap lend her hearts so she wouldn't drop in fights?? No! That was all you, Mape! You're the one she always goes back to after burning every other bridge! You're the one she welcomes with open arms no matter how deep you twist the knife! Gah!

And Mawn was dissolved just like that... let's just forget this all happened and move on! surely this won't have consequences in a few months! :clueless: And he put the arrow that failed to kill a naked PrinceZam right in his echest without a shulker... alright bro...

(sigh) Derap of all people should know not to spy on Zam's convos w/ people... did he forget the day Kab kept listening in while she was talking to 4C and she nearly killed them both?? He says he doesn't hate Mapicc but I swear he asks Zam to choose between them every other conversation like this is some YA dystopia love triangle. He and Mapicc are very similar - and I'm sure they'd hate hearing that - in that they're both very insecure in their relationship with Zam. Derap just loooveess his hypothetical scenarios and saying that there's no right or wrong answer, but there is one that'll make him more upset than the other! And his relationship with That Really Annoying Purple Dude (it's just a personal thing dw) can't really be compared to Devotions since That Really Annoying Purple Dude doesn't log on and is (for once) not causing problems. These are two very different situations bro... Chat was right, Zam does have two hands... for Mapicc and Minute (joking). (when will KOM return from the war...)

Zam goes on her 3 month break after this, and Mapicc doesn't stream til the end of January but his stream on the 22nd isn't linked on the archive... guess that cuts down a few hours of vodwatching.

-- phantasm

I know I say this about every other stream but their constant suspicion of Hannah is so annoying. The only thing she's done to "warrant" this is be Bacon's former teammate, yet she's the only one actually (emotionally) hurt by him betraying the Chungpire to spawn Wardens! She's got no reason to work with him until he stops!

Zam left Bacon heart materials... this will surely have no consequences later :clueless:

Bacon's been saying in just about every conversation with Zam that they're on the same side. Personally, they're opposing each other, but in the grand scheme of things they're working towards the same goal of maintaining server activity. Zam works to protect players from being banned, ensuring they can always hop on to play, and Bacon serves as the villain for people to rally against. Unlike the BFB, he's no juggernaut. He's a chungus and the Wardens are easy to corral and kill once you know how. It's annoying, it's tedious, but it's an achievable goal. Sure, it's only a group of five hunting Bacon down, but it's a group of five logging in consistently.

Without conflict, there is no Lifesteal, and both Bacon and Zam are aware of this. Someone needs to be kicking over sand castles, and someone needs to be chasing them with a broom to stop that. In the beginning of the season people criticized Zam, thinking she was trying to make the entire server peaceful, but this couldn't be farther from the truth. It wouldn't be Lifesteal anymore if people were just hanging out and only losing hearts to natural causes. And in striving for personal peace she still managed to set some dominoes in motion! Like Flame destroying Spawn or other people trying pacifism for themselves.

So yeah, on a personal level, what Bacon is doing sucks, but when you take a step back it's for the good of the server. Zam understands this, and knows that if Bacon gets banned now all that's gonna go away. And that's why she left the heart materials and book, to keep activity going strong and give this arc more time for interpersonal conflict.

Zam: "Are you tired of eating shrimps with the wimps?"

(several seconds of silence)

Bacon: "ok."

Zam: "Then come eat lobster with a monster."

(Derap dies)

LMAOOOOOO

And Minute's supposedly been working on the base for the Spoke competition, but he was AFK and whatever he was doing was lagging the server... hm... is the modded player who occasionally guest stars on LS finally doing something?

-- phantasm

THE QUICKDROP WARDENS I REMEMBER THEM

really good analysis!! yeah thats exactly it. they both strive for conflict and for something to happen and i respect them for it

oh that clip is amazing. i love how excited bacon got at the wardens killing someone he was so proud

I paused the video to make a post about how while Mapicc was upset Zam was against Mawn and leaving (the archive says he also streamed that day but there isn't a link to it so this was based entirely on what he said to Zam) and wasn't at "castle arc 2: castle harder" levels yet like Atlas were worried about, and not even two minutes later Flame and Mapicc come over the hill and start fighting them 😭

Indirectly this whole arc is Derap's fault. Like, him taunting Flame about always doing what Mane tells him to, his longstanding beef with Mapicc + teaming with Zam (read: taking Zam's attention away from Mapicc), and being the one to propose making a new Spawn out of spite, and since Zam is an Arcane fan she wanted to call it Zaun which led to the misconception that Zaun was a "rival country" because of the names being nearly identical when spoken aloud. It all just comes together in this perfect storm

And during the fight Flame + Mape were saying that she didn't even give Mawn a try, but like you said in the tags of the last ask I sent, she did! She wasn't happy with it and couldn't force herself to build because of an arbitrary rule, and it was Flame following her, constantly telling her to make something and asking for easy-to-acquire materials that made her storm off. I doubt she would've stayed much longer if he hadn't, but I do wonder what would've happened if she did...

(as an aside, ppl in Zam's chat kept wondering how Minute would react to this, meanwhile in his stream the previous day he said Mawn was funny and interesting lmao)

Very interesting how during the fight Mapicc was hard focusing Derap, entirely avoided hitting Zam even when she was hitting him to try and get him to back off, and the dropped glow ink sacs (an item Zam is known for using a LOT) like a cat leaving a dead mouse... He's so lonely and jealous it's not even funny. These two are miscommunicating their way out of a burning building because everything he's done to keep her close has ended up with her pulling away and she can't find the words to resolve things.

And now Mapicc is lost because he didn't think of what to do AFTER taking control of Spawn. He got the peace he sought but now he doesn't know what to do with it. He was so prepared to have to fight to keep Mawn but everyone's accepted it. Mapicc hated being nothing but the muscle called for fights but without the fights there isn't much for him to do since he's not much of a builder himself. His alliance with Flame is very shaky and at risk of falling apart because he can't really beat Flame by himself and if he tried telling him to leave Zam alone he'd likely go back to working with Mane since Flame wants to put Zam thru the Torment Nexus.

Also Zam equipping a knockback sword again because she's done fighting, a loud statement that Mawn wasn't a threat to the server's continued function... This is twice now he's done something hoping Zam'll fight back, just look at him whether with love or with hate, and she's hunkered down and put down her swords because she doesn't want to hurt him more.

Another thing too is how Derap seems to love asking hypothetical questions and who Zam cares for more between him and Mape... idc about spoilers and I already know that it's near the end of the season when Atlas falls apart and does so spectacularly but like... can that hurry up... I feel like Derap is part of the "Zam needs to be fixed" camp and maybe I'm just too wary but I feel like those questions are a very subtle way of having her rely on him and be able to sway her opinion... idk tho, I'll have to keep going to find out for certain.

-- phantasm

Hi Phantasm!! Nice to see you're back :D Sorry this took a day to get to, I wanted to sit down and properly answer to this ask. The Mawn vs Zaun arc is so unbelievably interesting to me, thank you for liveblogging your thoughts to me.

Everything lined up perfectly for this arc. I'm of the belief that Mawn vs Zaun and the Warden arc (you'll see when you get there) are the best and most interesting arcs of this season, by far. And all the points you bring up are perfectly showing why! It's an external conflict born from an internal one, from the storm of emotions Zam and Mapicc are going through. And yeah, Mapicc completely avoided touching Zam even once. They believe they know eachother perfectly but really they still are quick to assume how the other is feeling and completely get it wrong. Mapicc believing Zam wants to go against him, Zam thinking he just wants control…

and the dropped glow ink sacs (an item Zam is known for using a LOT) like a cat leaving a dead mouse…

Oh my god. I did not notice that at all. That's such a Mapicc thing to do. Wow. And he is! He's been lonely the whole season and he's so jealous of this one person taking all of Zam's attention, taking Zam herself away from him. "Miscommunicating their way out of a burning building" is hilarious. They're burning eachother and the whole server with them.

Yeah, it's so unfortunate how everyone was quick to agree with Mawn… an actual conflict would've been the interesting thing to do but Lifesteal has been very conflict avoidant for the most part. Which is incredibly sad.

This is twice now he's done something hoping Zam'll fight back, just look at him whether with love or with hate, and she's hunkered down and put down her swords because she doesn't want to hurt him more.

Just kill me while you're at it. This is beautifully said and I will be thinking about this so much. He just wants Zam to come back and look at him and fight him but she refuses to and oh I can't wait until you reach a certain vod in the future.

And well, Derap lacks confidence. He's certain that Zam will always choose Mapicc first, and refuses to listen to her when she says that she doesn't want to choose between them, and as you said, this is just going to come bite him later.

Yeahhh I think I stopped watching Lifesteal around this time. And I rather not talk about how I feel towards Zam's treatment in that time because I would just go on and on and I rather let bygones be bygones, yknow? Cash Masons (Ash Squiddo Spoke) were fun, though.

Also! I've seen the pictures, and by the time this is posted I will have reblogged them, they look amazing!!!

Mapicc loves to project <3 In his mind he's never wrong ever. King of deflection. And yeah Flame just banning himself was really sad. Especially because that's the last we see of him in Lifesteal, ever (except for one time in S7 where they ask him to log on to see where the spawn chunks are as he's never logged on; that's the one and only time). And Mane oh Mane he's so funny. What a guy.

Ohhh I'd never heard those songs before. They're personally not my style, but I can see how they fit them!

Putting the rest of the asks under a cut.

I've been kinda all over the place, like I started with Zam's s6 vods, then watched castle arc, went back to s6, then watched all of Kings s2, s6 again, with Zam's s4 + some of Clown's s2 vids inbetween, and once I'm done w/ s6 I plan to watch s5 for the abyss and joker stuff. And now I'm at Mawn vs Zaun, and man.

I could be reading too deep into this but I feel like Mawn was, in its own way, for Zam. Yes, Mapicc wanted to assert power and stop the BFB from walking all over the server, but also he was feeling abandoned by both the Empire and Zam and I feel like the building rule was done for her sake, so she would stay with him, after all she's done to constantly rebuild Spawn all by herself. He'd maintain order and peace, be Zam's sword and shield as always (that she regrets, and realizes she's started excluding him from things and was just figuring out how to apologize for) so she can build peacefully again. And it's this very jealousy and abandonment-fueled act that pushes her away because she doesn't want to fight him on this and hurt him more.

Running away to a mountain, surrounded by snow after she's hurt Mapicc, trying to start a new life of peace by building... where have we heard that one before? 🤔🤔

They make me so.... aughhhh. They can't live without each other. They keep hurting each other. Every time they separate they leave behind claw marks and yearn to dig their nails in again to make sure the other is still there.

Hope you don't mind the essay in your inbox lol! have a nice night!