#phanois

25. “What the hell were you thinking?!” ------------------------------------

Yancy stood at the front door, arms crossed and foot tapping against the ground. He could hear Phantom and Illinois talking behind the door before it was opened and the two talking in. They had a moment of not realizing Yancy was there but when it hit, they both froze. Yancy only had to glance over their bodies; seeing the dust on Illinois’ knees, the tears on Phantom’s pants, Illinois’ shirt partially shredded and a cut on Phantom’s cheek. The big giveaway was Illinois holding a hand behind his back.

“You went to that cave, didn’t yous?” Yancy asked.

“What? No, of course not.” Illinois weakly chuckled and Phantom just kept his mouth shut.

“Then what’s behind yous?” 

“Would you believe me if I said it’s flowers?”

“No.” 

“Well, shit.” Illinois quickly gave in and showed the large jewel he had been hiding, knowing there was no chance of keeping it secret from Yancy. 

“What the hell were yous thinking!?” Yancy snapped. “Both of yous!” Yancy watched both Illinois and Phantom curl up. “Yous were told that place wasn’t safe and to wait for the others and what do yous do?” 

“We went to the place.” Illinois and Phantom both said, looking at the ground as they were scolded.

“And now look at yous, yous are all scraped up and bleeding.” Yancy went up to Phantom and held his chin, getting a better look at his cheek before reaching over to grab Illinois’ hands, checking on his palms as well. “Yous are lucky that these are minor wounds. I’d kill both of yous if you got seriously hurt after pulling this.” Yancy looked up and Illinois smiled at him. “And yous are lucky that I love yous two.” Yancy saw Phantom and Illinois perk up. “Now let’s get yous cleaned up and then yous can tell Dark what yous did and yous can tell Mare.” Yancy chuckled when they slumped right back down. 

“Mare’s going to kill me.” Phantom groaned.

“Better him than me.” Yancy took Phantom’s hand and looped an arm around Illinois’, guiding them off to be taken care of.

------------------------------------

Welp, this became a whole thing XD

--------------------------------------

“That’s a shot, Wilford!” Anti shouted from the floor, pointing with his own cup that was going to need a refill soon.

“Oh no, what a shame.” Wilford reached over to the overflowing end table and grabbed one of the many bottles of liquor. 

“I still don’t get this game.” Mad was on one of the couches between Mare and Dark. “I understand that the cards mean something, a different rule, but how do you win if everyone is drinking for most of it?” 

“The point of the game is to get everyone drunk, duh.” Phantom rolled his eyes from the second couch, hugging Yancy’s arm to his chest while Yancy was leaning against Illinois. 

“And it’s going great, right Jamesy?” Wilford was on the third couch with JJ and Henrik. Edward was sitting on the armrest of the couch. 

“It’s fun.” JJ silently giggled and had a flush to his face from the alcohol and it deepened when Wilford gave him a quick kiss. 

“I do not need a rush of arousal while in a crowded room.” Mad grumbled.

“Just drink some more and you won’t even notice.” Mare brought Mad’s drink to his mouth. 

Mad and Phantom interacting is always a fun time Also, do people really like how I write them? XD -------------------------------------------

“Where are we going?” Phantom asked as he and Mad walked together through a small section of woods that was near the house.

“The answer is the same as the five other times you’ve asked,” Mad said. “Just wait and see.” 

“You just want me out of the house so you can fuck my brother,” Phantom said, knowing Mad would get worked up. 

“Yes, because everything I do is just a route to fucking your brother.” Mad spat out his sarcasm. 

“Finally you admit it.” Phantom stopped when Mad did to glare at him. 

“You’re making me want to not do this anymore.” Mad huffed and went back to walking. 

“Not do what?” 

“Nothing.”

“You can’t just get all vague on me and then act like you didn’t get all vague on me.” Phantom jumped up to walk along a fallen tree trunk. 

“I did and I will keep doing it.” Mad was having just a bit of fun with knowing something that Phantom didn’t and knowing how much Phantom hated it. 

“Can you at least tell me how much longer we’re gonna be walking?” Phantom asked. 

“Is someone getting tired?” Mad teased.

“No, I’m getting bored and annoyed.” Phantom scoffed. “I’m about ready to turn around and go back to the house.” 

“Not allowed.” 

“Not allowed?” 

“You’d disappoint them.” 

“Disappoint who, Mad?” Phantom wondered how much Mare would hate him if he just thumped Mad upside the head.

“Them.” Mare moved a low-hanging branch and stepped aside, gesturing for Phantom to go ahead. 

“If you could stop being a little...” Phantom ducked under the branch and found himself at the beginning of a very small field. Yancy and Illinois were sitting on a red plaid blanket with a wooden basket, food, and some wine. 

“Surprise.” Mad chuckled when he saw that Phantom was just staring at the scene with wide eyes. “Have fun.” He called out to the other two and left them alone. 

“You guys…” Phantom unconsciously made his way closer.

“Yous said that these kinds of picnics were cute,” Yancy said.

“So we figured we’d spoil you with one.” Illinois started pouring some wine into champagne glasses.

“What do you think?” Yancy asked with a bright smile. 

“It’s amazing!” Phantom finally snapped out of his daze and dove towards the two, giving each of them a kiss before plopping down between them. “I’ve always wanted to do this, but Blank doesn’t like bugs and Blank getting worked up will throw Mad off and Mad being off will throw Mare off and all of that isn’t-” Phantom was stopped short by Yancy popping a piece of cheese into his mouth. “Oh, fuck me, that’s good.” Phantom chuckled and he chewed. 

“That’s after dinner, treasure.” Illinois winked and started to laugh when Phantom made a face at him and slapped his arm. “I love you.” That got Phantom’s face to go red.

“I love you~” Yancy sang, getting Phantom’s face to flush even more.

“I’m eating more cheese.” Phantom reached over to the plate and helped himself. “And I love you guys, too.” He quickly added before stuffing his face with cheese.

Illinois was standing at the stove, wearing a classic ‘kiss the chef’ apron as he worked on cooking breakfast. Yancy was sitting at the table and scribbling away in a notebook; crossing out lyrics, and replacing them with ones that fit the rhythm better. Phantom made his way into the kitchen, feet dragging and shoulders slumped. 

“Morning~” Illinois greeted when Phantom grumbled his way to the coffee pot. 

“Mornings are Satan.” Phantom grabbed the largest mug and started making himself some coffee. 

“Mornings is only bad cause yous don’t know how to go to bed,” Yancy said, tucking his pencil behind his ear. “Always doin’ some late-night shenanigans.”  

“So now you’re complaining about my late-night shenanigans?” Phantom carried his mug over towards the table. “I don’t recall you ever minding when I slip under the sheets and give you some nice and hot affection.” Phantom flashed a grin and Yancy’s cheeks flushed. 

“I mind when it’s three in the morning and I’m left out.” Illinois beckoned with a hand and Phantom happily went over to him. Phantom chuckled when Illinois wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him into a kiss. 

“It’s too early for this, I needs some music.” Yancy got out of his seat and went over to a stereo that was sitting on the counter. 

“It’s never too early for some fun.” Phantom hummed as he leaned into the one-arm embrace, uncaring that he was making it hard for Illinois to cook. 

“I might be having a different thought than yous.” Yancy cranked up the stereo’s volume as a laugh came out of it. “Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.” Yancy sang along and Phantom let out a cheer before singing the next line. 

“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.”

“I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.” 

“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want.” Phantom was now over to where Yancy was. Both now singing at the same time.

“I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah.” Phantom and Yancy both shimmied with the last part and started dancing around each other. Illinois only smiled and watched as the two enjoyed themselves, voices sounding angelic to him and he just kept thinking over and over again:

They’re perfect

“The eggs!” Yancy’s shout snapped Illinois from his trance. 

“Huh?” Illinois was slapped with the smell of smoke. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Phantom slipped past Illinois and took the almost flaming pan off of the stove and threw it into the sink. Yancy turned on the water and steam clouded everywhere. 

“Where was you?” Yancy asked, going up to Illinois and tapping at his temple with a finger. 

“Got a little lost in thought,” Illinois admitted as Phantom poked at the charred mess for a second before giving up on it and going over to the two. 

“Thinkin’ what?” Yancy flicked the stove off. 

“How lucky I am to have you two in my life.” Illinois grinned. 

“Smooth-talker.” Yancy giggled and kissed Illinois’ cheek while Phantom huffed and looked away. “Get over here.” Yancy grabbed Phantom’s shirt and, with no resistance from Phantom, pulled him into the center of a hug between Yancy and Illinois. Phantom only kept his pout for a second and adjusted so he was more involved in the hug. 

“I love you dumbasses,” Phantom said. 

“Tired.” Was all Phantom said before he flopped down on the couch, his head landing on Illinois’ lap and his legs on Yancy’s. 

“Good evening to you too.” Illinois chuckled. 

“Sounds like yous had a day.” Yancy slipped off Phantom’s shoes, not needing that dirt on his pants. 

“I’m never going on a job with Mare and Mad again.” Phantom rubbed at his face. “Mare kept flirting the entire time with Mad and Mad is the literal definition of a disaster gay and could only sputter and forgot how to do his emotions thing.” 

“Yous sure yous weren’t jealous?” Yancy raised a brow. “Yous usually the one to like attention.” 

“I will kick you, don’t tempt me,” Phantom warned but didn’t make any movement to actually act out on the threat. 

“He’s not wrong, my golden treasure.” Illinois used the nickname that always got Phantom to puff out his cheeks. And it worked once again. 

“Shut up,” Phantom muttered.

“Yous also likes being sandwiched between us.” Yancy started walking his fingers up Phantom’s leg. “Gettin’ affection from both sides.” 

“Sh-Shut up!” Phantom’s cheeks flushed only a bit and he sat up. He let out a soft squeak when Illinois hugged him from behind and pressed his back to his chest. 

“My little golden treasure deserves all the affection he can get. He’s adorable when he’s being loved on.” 

“I-I’m not adorable!” Phantom scrunched up and his face was now becoming a bright red. 

“I think yous is, Phan-Phan~” Yancy sang as he moved in closer towards Phantom, placing a hand on Phantom’s neck. “Very adorable.” 

“I-I’m…I’m…” Phantom couldn’t come up with anything and just stuttered. 

“And I’m the disaster gay?” Mad said from the room’s entrance, arms crossed and a brow raised. “‘I’m not adorable’.” Mad mimicked Phantom’s voice and puffed out his lower lip.

“I’m gonna kick your ass!” Phantom snapped out of his flustered state and tried to wiggle out of Illinois’ hold, unable to do so when Yancy grabbed his legs. 

“What. The fuck. Was that?” Yancy‘s jaw was dropped with shock as Dark cracked his neck and returned to normal. 

“So that’s what it looks like.” Illinois hummed. 

“Yous knew ‘bout this!?” Yancy wildly gestured with his arms. 

“Phantom mentioned it.” Illinois casually shrugged. 

“I figured him showing would be easier than trying to describe,” Jackie said as Yancy was still sputtering in shock. “He’ll talk about it when he’s...done,” Jackie said as Dark and Anti took off towards the bedrooms. 

“I’d get worked up to after using that much power.” Illinois chuckled. 

“Take note of that.” Mad teased with a little nudge at Phantom, expecting Phantom to curse or yell. 

“You do know that Mare can use the same power, right?” Phantom asked with an ever-growing grin. “He just has more control over those little shadows.” 

“I-” Mad’s face flushed and it went fully red when he looked at Mare and Mare just winked at him. 

“You’re terrible.” Illinois went behind Phantom and hugged him around the waist. Phantom grabbed Illinois’ arm, spun around, and pulled so that Illinois was bent over and had to look up at him. 

“I can be worse,” Phantom smirked. 

“Amazing,” Illinois whispered in awe. 

“So, Mare is like Dark?” Yancy asked Jackie. “And so is Phantom?” 

“Kind of.” Jackie scratched his jaw. “Dark came from somewhere else and Mare and Phantom are like variants of like...demon things? They’ve explained it before but I didn’t get it.” 

“I’m going to pass out.” Yancy rubbed his temple. 

“Too much at once?” Jackie asked, looping an arm through Yancy’s, just in case the comment wasn’t only a joke. 

“How do yous keep track of all this?” Yancy asked, trying his best not to react to being held. 

“I have a chart above my bed,” Jackie said. 

“You do? I’ve been in your room and-”

“I’m joking, Yancy.” Jackie giggled. “And it’s actually in a notebook.” 

IVE MISSED THIS SHIP

Also, not sure how ‘cute’ this is but damn is it in character XD

74. “Why don’t you just sit there and look pretty?”

--------------------------------------------------------

“How many of your friends hire killers?” Phantom asked, one arm looped through Illinois’ 

“First and hopefully only time this has happened.” Illinois tugged at his tie, hating how dressed up he had to be for this ‘meeting’. “And ‘friend’ is not the best way to describe him, more of an acquaintance who has too much money.” 

“And you needed ‘arm candy’ to meet this man, why again?” Phantom followed Illinois into the tall office building, hating how his footsteps echoed in the much too empty lobby.

“I just like having my boyfriend around.” Illinois flashed a smile and Phantom rolled his eyes, the term just now being applied to them and Illinois was milking it as much as he could. “And he’s more willing to work with me when I’m with someone or at least thinks I am.” 

“Why’s that?” Phantom pressed his lips shut when they reached the desk and a young woman asked if they had an appointment. 

“Yes, it should be under Illinois,” Illinois spoke with his usual charm and Phantom found himself squeezing Illinois’ arm a little tighter, leaning in closer to the other man. 

“I’ll go let Mr. Smith know you’re here.” The woman popped up to her feet and her heels clicked as she went behind a door.

“Jealous?” Illinois asked with a chuckle, placing a hand on top of Phantom’s. 

“Why would he be more willing to work with you if he thinks you’re with someone?” Phantom asked, wanting to change the subject. 

“He...well...has a strange view about…” Illinois clicked his tongue. “He thinks that if a man is having sex he’s more open-minded and calm in most situations.” 

“What in the fuck?” Phantom scoffed. “You haven’t changed at all despite how many times you’ve dicked me down.” 

“Should I come back?” An elderly man asked with a deep laugh, showing he had caught the last of Phantom’s comment. Phantom bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. “I see that you’ve found yourself another lovely-looking man.” Mr. Smith asked; the tone in his voice made Phantom want to start cursing loudly but he held back since he knew he’d be scolded for messing with a high-paying client. 

“This is Phantom, my boyfriend, and he’s a lot more than just a lovely-looking man,” Illinois said and Phantom felt that Illinois was the only tightening his hold.

“You’ve said that before.” Mr. Smith waved a dismissive hand. “Now, let’s get to business. I’m sure after hearing that little comment from your friend that you’d enjoy moving on the other activities sooner rather than later.” 

“Keep talking like that and I’ll-” 

“Let’s head into my office and crunch the numbers, Illinois.” Mr. Smith spoke as if Phantom hadn’t even started, Illinois had a strained look to his face, it clearly hurting him to not say something. 

“It’s a flat rate so-”

“Why don’t you just sit there and look pretty?” Mr. Smith waved a hand again at Phantom. 

“That’s it!” Phantom slipped out of Illinois’ arm, pulled out a pocket knife, and in a blink he had Mr. Smith’s arm locked behind his own back with the blade pressed against his throat.  

“As I said, he’s a lot more than just a lovely-looking man.” Illinois laughed and went so he was standing in front of Mr. Smith. “He’s the killer you’re wanting to hire.” 

“I-”

“Nuh-uh.” Phantom pressed the blade closer. “Unless those words are agreeing to pay double our normal price, I’d suggest shutting up or your pretty little floor is getting a nice red paint job.” 

“I’ll pay, I’ll pay.” Mr. Smith gasped out. 

“Just send the name of who you want gone and we’ll take care of the rest.” Illinois casually checked his fingernails. 

“Okay, okay.” Mr. Smith’s voice was a good octave higher. 

“Perfect.” Phantom shoved Mr. Smith away. “Now, if you need us, we have some other activities we’d rather be doing.” Phantom grabbed Illinois’ arm and was giggling as he and Illinois walked away.

----------------------------------------