#phanmyass

There was a memory wall where we could hang up pictures of loved ones that we had lost to suicide. I printed out a picture of Justin and hung it up.

remember when you said it would be better off if you were gone because no one would care or miss you? you were wrong then, and you're still wrong now. nothing is okay. i still care. i still miss you. and i don't think i ever will go a day where i don't miss you or i don't care because even though i was sad then, you were an incredibly bright light in my life and now that light is gone and i'm left in the dark. i miss my light. i miss you.

So I was scrolling through my dashboard and saw a few people talking about this person named Justin and I didn't know what was going on until I looked through his tags. And I must say I am immensely sad. I didn't know him, but he was a part of our phamily. And now I wish I had known him so I could send him sweet messages to make him smile. But sadly I can't. So hopefully you're in a good place, Justin. And I hope your family and friends grow stronger. And to those dealing with depression, you can message me anytime. I'll always lend an ear. Just know that you are never alone <3

I know I’m late, but I would like to say something regardless. I didn’t talk to Justin much, but he was the older brother I never had. When I wrote the Corn Fic (yes sorry that was me) it was only a joke. It was late and Jen was having another creepy corn spree with her followers. I wrote it as a joke and had no intention of posting it at all. But on a whim I asked Justin if he would be interested in reading it and giving me feedback. He said he would love to read it, so I sent it to him. I’ll re read my messages every now and then and I smile every time I see his response. He said that it was really good, in a weird way. He encouraged me to post it, but only if I was comfortable. I had never posted any of my work before. That was the first. I did it, and while I would never admit it to people in person, I wrote it and I was proud that at least Justin liked it. I was too shy to talk to him after that, I was afraid he wouldn’t like me. But I wish everyday that I had had the nerve to keep talking to him. I’m so thankful for what he did, however insignificant it may seem. It meant the world to me and it still does. Rest In Peace Justin.