#phangender

I think Dan has a new project since the Hard Launch and it's making Phil love himself.

So much of their relationship has been Phil giving Dan the space to figure himself out and now Dan's returning the favor.

Look at "If Phil Blinks, Dan Dies" Phil not blinking was A THING, something he was incredibly self conscious of and tried to change. So Dan chose a game where that's an asset, that's something to be praised for.

With the phalendar, Dan's comfortable wearing makeup and being soft, Phil hasn't been, he's talked over and over again about how gender rolls were instilled in him as a child. Even two weeks before the shoot, he was saying he looked ugly in makeup. So, between the two of them Phil was the princess, the vampire, the alien, the one that got to be made up and told he looks beautiful.

Phil doesn't think he's attractive, so Dan explicitly said that maybe phannies should start filming him when he's not paying attention again, so he can see how beautiful he is (obviously a joke but the point stands)

Giving Phil "Here's the Thing" so he can share his random anecdotes and see how much love and support they get.

Giving Phil a space to start talking about his own coming out experience. something he didn't do when he did come out. He gave Dan the floor and now Dan's giving it back to him.

And so so so many more examples.

Can we talk about "birthday girl?"

Cause like...imagine Phil 10 years ago, when he was first 29 EVER being comfortable with being referred to that way. Hell, imagine it a few years ago.

Even just in the most basic sense, Phil had a rough time with gender roles. His parents, especially his dad and grandfather pushed them on him HARD and it took a while to unravel that.

This is my new favorite video because of Dan's reaction to herself (slack jaw, breath hitched, wide eyes), but Phil's reaction is god awful.

Phil grew up being MALE, being told that dying his hair was too feminine, being given a tool box with the hope that he'd finally be manly and want to fix things. He was taught from a young age that men are MEN and all the baggage that entails.

Watching him use "girl" for himself constantly in recent months and feeling beautiful in makeup and being willing to wear a dress and his only issue being that it was the wrong color, this is HUGE for Phil. So to see "birthday girl," that's a big deal.

Be it because of genderqueerness or just gender non conforming, it's a big deal.

https://youtu.be/WSy30ektcWo?si=VfjWg7Fkd7yT2Bfh

Oh.

That's....yeah.

I'm so glad he's letting himself explore all this now. Sounds like he's wanted to for a long time but been too scared.

We always talk about his family being supportive, and obviously they are, but it also seems like they're a bit traditional and he just kind of closed the door on any type of gender expression.

I didn't realize that the phlonde was part of it, but watching this, it totally was, and is. And that's also maybe even why the idea of dying his hair an unnatural color is taking him so long.

And I think everyone needs to watch the whole thing, but specifically 5:36.

Dan didn't just say they don't care what pronouns people use for them, THEY LITERALLY GAVE AN EXAMPLE, so that people could understand EXACTLY what they meant.

How do we have this, from 2019, no less, and people still have problems with posts that USE VARIOUS PRONOUNS.

Dan is....asking for it. The same way that when PJ was talking about their pronouns, he gave examples of what that meant.