#phanfriendsnetwork

Truth be told, Dan could probably be cold anywhere - he’s wearing a sweatshirt right now (it’s Phil’s and it’s just a little too big on him, but most importantly it’s warm and it smells overwhelmingly like Phil), but he doesn’t like to argue with Katherine so he just says, “it’s lovely, Mrs. Lester. Thank you for having me.”

Katherine rolls her eyes fondly. “For the millionth time, love, call me Katherine.”

Phil, who had been getting Dan’s bag from the back of his car like the gentleman he is, checks Dan’s hip as he walks by. “Yeah, love,” he teases, and though his voice is laced with a teasing intonation, Dan still gets a warm feeling in his chest. Being around Phil in person is still so new to him, he wonders if there will ever be a time when Phil’s voice won’t make butterflies flutter in his stomach. He sure as hell hopes not.

Phil and Katherine walk in and Dan follows them. As Phil dumps Dan’s bag by the staircase that lead to the upstairs bedrooms (Phil’s and Martyn’s - Katherine and Mr. Lester’s bedrooms are downstairs) Katherine says, “so you’ll have the guest bedroom, love.”

Phil reacts like Katherine’s just slapped him in the face, and Dan definitely understands where he’s coming from. The whole way here, all they were texting about is being able to be in the same room, alone, free to kiss and touch and just hold each other, fall asleep in each other’s arms, nothing but their combined breaths. “But mum!” Phil whines like a petulant child.

Katherine puts a hand to Phil’s cheek. “Oh, don’t give me that look, child,” she says gently. “I do the same thing with Martyn and Cornelia. It wouldn’t be fair to give you special treatment just because Dan’s a boy.”

She gives Phil a look that says ‘try me’ and Phil, ever the obedient child even though he’s technically an adult, backs down. He raises his hands in surrender. Katherine smiles at him and pats his cheek. “Why don’t you show Dan the guest room, love?”

Phil takes Dan’s bag from the stairs and motions for Dan to follow him. Unfortunately, they don’t go upstairs - they walk past Katherine and down the hallway and finally, Phil enters a room that’s just across from his parents. It has a queen bed and is cute, actually, there are paintings of flowers on the wall and knick-knacks from the Lesters’ Florida adventures but it isn’t Phil’s room and so Dan instantly hates it.

Phil closes the door behind them and leaves Dan’s bag at the foot of the bed. “Sorry about this.” Phil plops down onto the bed and lands on his back. “I didn’t know she was gonna do that, obviously.”

“It’s fine,” Dan answers. He lays on the bed, on his side so that he can face Phil. From up close, Phil is even more beautiful. The light streaming through the windows light up Phil’s eyes - as deep and rich as the sea itself - and the freckles on his skin. Dan wonders offhandedly how many freckles Phil has, and has the strange urge to count them all.

Phil turns so that he’s facing Dan and his face lights up with a mischievous smile. “Hey,” he says. Dan hums in question. “What do you say you sneak up to my room after my mum and dad have fallen asleep? They’re such heavy sleepers that they wouldn’t even realize.”

Dan gasps in mock scandal. “Phil Lester,” he starts, his voice accusatory even though he can’t keep the giant fucking smile off of his face. “I will have you know I am a perfect Christian child.”

“Blah blah blah blah,” Phil mocks, his grin turning wider. Dan lightly punches him on the arm in retaliation. Phil rubs his arm as if it actually hurt (it didn’t). “I hope that isn’t the only bruise I’m getting, bear,” he teases.

Dan laughs. “You are such a fucking flirt,” he accuses, and Phil doesn’t get a chance to answer because Dan is pulling him into a crushing kiss. Phil kisses him back, runs his hands through Dan’s hair, tugs a little bit. Dan whines a little bit in the back of his throat. Phil does insane things to him. He turns Dan inside out and takes him apart and puts him back together. Dan’s sure he’s never loved someone as completely as he loves Phil Lester.

“Boys!” Katherine calls from outside the door. The two boys jump apart and look towards the door. Luckily, Katherine doesn’t enter. “Come help me pick out what we should have for dinner!”

Her footsteps retreat and Phil groans, dropping his head to Dan’s shoulder. He presses his lips to Dan’s collarbone and says, “later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dan promises. “We’ll continue this later.”

-

Around 11:00PM, Katherine pops her head into Dan’s room. “Aight, love,” she says, glasses low on her nose. “I’m headed off to bed. Are you comfortable?”

“Very,” Dan answers. He’s got his laptop perched on his knees and he’s scrolling through Tumblr - he’s not going to bed yet. For one, he’s a bit of an insomniac and a night owl. And he’s waiting for a text from Phil telling him it’s safe to escape to his room for a few hours of uninterrupted Phil time. Dan’s heart throbs just thinking of it.

Katherine smiles at that. “Don’t stay up too late, okay? Lots to do tomorrow.”

Dan smiles back at her. Katherine has really become like a second mum to him - the entire Lester family is like a second family. He hopes there will never be a time where he’ll have to be apart from them. “I won’t, Mr-” he catches himself “-Katherine. Have a nice night.”

“You too, love,” Katherine says, and as she leaves she closes the door behind her. Dan can hear the bedroom door across the hall from him - Phil’s parents - open and close as she walks in.

At 11:23PM, Dan hears footsteps down the hallway. His heart sinks, thinking Phil’s mum must still be awake. At 11:27PM, his phone lights up with a text.

PHIL just walked past mum and dad’s

So that explains the footsteps, at least.

DAN verdict?

PHIL dead asleep m8 i have buffy set up

DAN omw

Dan exits his room as quietly as possible, using his phone as a light to guide his way. The door to Phil’s parents’ room is closed and no one comes out as Dan walks past. He thinks he’s in the clear as he walks towards the stairs, until he spots Martyn in the kitchen. Martyn’s wearing only a sleep shirt and a pair of boxers, his hair a mess on top of his head, and he’s dipping a bag of tea into a mug.

“Uh,” Dan starts eloquently. He’s fairly certain he can’t just sneak past Martyn at close to midnight and not say anything, but he’s not entirely sure what the etiquette is for sneaking past someone so you can go make out with their brother without their parents knowing.

Martyn pinches the bridge of his nose. “Just go,” he says. “Keep it down, you lot.”

Dan’s really grateful to Martyn, really, he is. He’s quiet, but from what Dan has seen of him and heard through Phil’s stories, he’s a really good older brother. It occurs to Dan that Martyn would be a good manager, but that’s a conversation for another day.

Dan walks up the stairs and enters Phil’s room, closing the door behind him. Phil’s laying in bed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that hangs off his shoulders. His hair is a mess and is everywhere - he has so much of it - and he has his glasses on. He has his laptop sitting in front of him and Dan can see he’s queued up Buffy.

“Hey there, stranger,” Phil says in lieu of greeting. Dan crosses the room and presses a gentle kiss to Phil’s lips - his pulse speeds up because he can’t believe he gets a chance to do that - before he drops down onto Phil’s bed. Phil wraps an arm around Dan’s shoulders and pulls him in close. Phil smells like his body wash and deodorant and something distinctly Phil that Dan gets a little dizzy.

“You wanna watch Buffy?” Phil asks. He’s so close that Dan can hear the rumble of the words in his chest and it’s still so fucking surreal, getting to be like this with Phil, instead of watching him through a computer screen.

Dan nods instead of answering and Phil starts the first episode. They end up getting through four episodes before the two of them fall asleep tangled up in each other, Dan’s head on Phil’s chest, Phil’s arm draped lazily around Dan’s shoulders.

-

Katherine walks into Dan’s room at 8 in the morning to wake him up. When he’s not there, she walks into the kitchen, where Martyn just nods towards Phil’s room. She walks in and finds Dan and Phil asleep together, curled up together under the duvet.

She closes the door and lets them sleep for a little bit longer.

-

Dan’s the first one to wake up.

During the night, he and Phil have moved, but they’re still close together. Dan’s laying on his back now and Phil’s curled into his side, one of his legs thrown over Dan’s, his face pressed into Dan’s neck. Dan runs his hand through Phil’s hair and thinks he’s very fucking lucky to be able to wake up like this. He wants to wake up every single day in the same bed as Phil.

As if sensing Dan’s cheesy thoughts, Phil groans. “I can hear you thinking,” he says against Dan’s neck, the words slurred with sleep.

Dan just smiles and presses a gentle kiss to his forehead. Phil lifts his eyes to meet Dan and squints up at him. “Can’t see without my glasses,” he complains. He reaches over and grabs them off the nightstand. Once they’re on, he smiles. “There. Wanted to see your hobbit hair.”

“Hey,” Dan laughs. He retaliates by putting the hood of the sweatshirt he fell asleep wearing up. Phil just pouts and pulls Dan into a long kiss. Phil’s got morning breath, but Dan really could care less. That is, of course, until Phil knocks his hood off and pulls back to smile victoriously. “You’re an asshole,” Dan says, but he leans forward to kiss Phil again anyway.

They kiss until they’re broken apart by Phil’s stomach rumbling. They break apart with a laugh and Phil stands. “C’mon,” he says, offering a hand to Dan. “Let’s get breakfast.”

Dan takes Phil’s hand to stand and doesn’t let go. The two of them walk hand in hand down the stairs, where Katherine, Mr. Lester, Martyn and Cornelia are all sitting in the kitchen, eating breakfast. Cornelia has a book open in front of her, Martyn looking over her shoulder. The two of them laugh as she points at something. “Is that Phil? Oh my goodness!”

Dan and Phil sit side by side, and as Katherine stands to get them both a plate of pancakes, Dan asks, “is what Phil?”

Cornelia doesn’t answer; instead, she walks over and drops the book in front of Dan. It’s a photo album, and the page she’s open to shows Phil, probably age eight or nine, smiling goofily at the camera with a skateboard at his feet. “Oh my god,” Dan says, because it’s easily one of the cutest things he’s ever seen and Phil’s never mentioned skating. “You shredded?”

“Not well,” Phil says. “I could, like, move a little, but I wasn’t as good as the boys at the skatepark so I gave it up when I was 15.”

“I still have your skateboard in the garage,” Katherine says as she leans over Phil to pour him a cup of coffee. “You should teach Dan how to skate.”

“Yeah?” Phil asks. Dan really has no desire to skate, but the way Phil’s eyes light up at the suggestion - fuck, Dan would jump in a volcano if it would make Phil smile like that. “You wanna, Dan?”

“Sure,” Dan answers. “I’m down.”

-

That afternoon, Phil has Dan on the sidewalk in front of the Lester’s house, helmet on, standing on a skateboard. He has his arms around Dan’s waist to keep him from falling over, which Dan feels dangerously close to. He’s naturally clumsy already, but the added energy of Phil right on top of him has him a little wobbly.

“So keep your feet spread evenly apart facing opposite to the skateboard,” Phil directs. Dan fixes his feet accordingly and Phil watches. “Good, okay. So you’re gonna turn your front foot,” he taps Dan’s left foot with his own, “forward and push off with your right foot. Just go slowly.”

Dan pushes off and starts moving slowly, Phil’s hands still around his waist, walking with him. Phil gives him a proud smile. “You’ve got it!” he says. “Put your foot down to stop?” Dan puts his foot down and the skateboard stops under him. Phil kisses his cheek. “Brilliant. Wanna try yourself?”

“Yeah,” Dan answers. He feels pretty confident, actually. If young Phil could do this, he can do. Maybe being the Tony Hawk of his fourteen year old self’s dreams isn’t as difficult as he originally thought.

Phil lets go of him and stands behind him. Dan takes a second to compose himself and then pushes off. For a minute, he’s fine, until he pushes himself again and goes faster. He panics a bit, unsure of how to slow, and loses balance. He falls on his arse, the skateboard moving without him until it eventually slows to a stop a few feet away.

Phil rushes over and kneels in front of Dan. “You alright?” he asks. When Dan nods, Phil offers him a hand. Dan stands and feels his heart speed up a little when Phil doesn’t let go of his hand. “Come on,” he says, walking Dan over to the skateboard. “Let’s try again. You got this.”

-

Inside, Cornelia shakes her head from where she’s watching them and washing dishes with Martyn. “They’re engaged before the year is over, I bet.”

Martyn turns to her as he dries off a plate she hands to him. “I’m willing to take that bet.”

Cornelia holds out her hand. “You’re on, Martyn Lester.”

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

hey!

this was written for a prompt that, again, is super duper old! i’ve been trying to get through some of my old prompts and this is one of them. i hope you like this, anon, if you even still follow me.

please reblog if you enjoyed this fic! it really helps the blog to grow and makes me smile. i’m especially proud of my recent work and it would make me very happy if people could see my new work.

if you want to read more of my fics, you can check the list of everything i’ve ever written here. if you want to follow me (thank you!) feel free to do so here. 

thank you for your endless support. 

Martyn had been telling him for weeks how important this meeting was for his channel and he had remembered, honestly, except he set his alarm when he was in Florida with his mum and did the math wrong and when he woke up he had ten minutes to get to a building that was fifteen minutes away.

He took a deep breath. Jesus, why couldn’t that Uber would pull up closer?

Unfortunately, even at the best of times Phil was a little bit clumsy. Not paying attention, he ran face first into someone going the other way. Papers went flying as the both of them fell to the floor.

Phil gasped. “Oh my god!” he exclaimed. He quickly gathered the papers from the sidewalk and put them in a half-assed pile. “I am so sorry, oh my god.”

“Maybe watch where you’re going next time, yeah?” came the voice from the person Phil bumped into. Phil stood and reached his hand out to the other person, looking at him for the first time. His heart stopped.

He was probably the most gorgeous person Phil had ever seen in his entire life. He was tall, in all black, legs for miles and skinny jeans that showed that off. He had deep brown eyes, a gorgeous face, full lips, brown, curly hair. He took Phil’s hand and stood, fixing his hair when he was standing.

He gave Phil a weird look. “Are you gonna give me my music back or-”

“Oh!” Phil exclaimed, handing the pile back. It was sheet music. The boy straightened the pile. “I-I’m Phil,” he said to the boy. “Sorry fo-”

He was interrupted by the sound of his phone buzzing. Shit, Martyn. The meeting. “I’m sorry, I have to go,” he apologized. He gave the boy an apologetic smile before he booked it the rest of the way to the office building.

Martyn was waiting for him with crossed arms in the doorway. He looked oddly like their mum.

“Martyn-” Phil started, but his brother held up his hand.

“Don’t need the excuse right now, Phil.” Martyn answered. He took Phil’s hand and dragged him into the elevator.

Phil leaned against the wall across from the glass of the elevator and took a deep breath. From here, London looked absolutely beautiful, buzzing with life and people. Across the street was a coffee shop and a piano outside where up-and-coming musicians usually played.

Phil watched as the same curly haired boy from before walked past and sat at the piano, setting up his music. Phil gasped loudly enough to pull Martyn from whatever he was looking at on his phone.

“What?” Martyn asked. He turned to look behind him. “What’s wrong, Phil?”

“Who’s that?” Phil pointed to the boy playing piano. “That guy on the piano, the curly haired one, who is he?”

Martyn rolled his eyes. “Daniel Howell or something, I dunno. He’s a pretentious musician.” The door opened and Martyn stepped out. Phil stayed for a second, transfixed by the boy. Daniel.

Martyn sighed. “Come on, Phil, we’re already late!”

With one last longing glance at the boy on the piano, Phil walked into the meeting.

TUESDAY

The events of the day before had been all but forgotten by the time Tuesday morning rolled around. The meeting had gone great, his brand hadn’t fired him and replaced him with another YouTuber with swoopy black hair. In fact, he and Martyn had learned that he was on his way to his most productive YouTube year ever, so, score.

Martyn had gone back to Phil’s flat and the two of them drank themselves into a coma in celebration. So coffee was the only thing on Phil’s mind Tuesday morning.

As he walked up the coffee shop, he could hear someone singing. He stood back a little when he saw the same curly haired boy from before on the piano, singing with his eyes closed. Daniel was clearly swept up in the music, paid no mind to the people putting money in his tip jar.

“Must be love on the brain,” Daniel sang, his voice ringing down the street. “That’s got me feelin’ this way.”

Phil stood back, transfixed, as he watched Daniel play. As the final notes of the song rang out, he spoke without even intending to. “That was really good.”

Daniel jumped as if he hadn’t been aware anyone was watching him. He turned to Phil and laughed a little bit. “Are you just stalking me, mate?”

Phil blushed bright red at that. “No, no!” he assured Daniel. “No, I was just going to get a cup of coffee and-” he motioned to the coffee shop. “-uh, I heard you playing and, uh, you’re really-” he ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. This is creepy right? I’m gonna stop.”

Daniel laughed, the sound making Phil smile a little bit. “I’m just messing with you,” Daniel assured him. He smiled at Phil. “You got a name, stranger?”

“Phil,” Phil said quickly. “Lester. Philip Lester. Hi.”

“Hi,” Daniel said with a little chuckle. “I’m Dan Howell.”

“I know,” Phil answered. When Dan raised an eyebrow, he rushed to explain himself. “I mean, like. My brother told me that you’re a musician. I’m not some kind of creepy stalker, I swear.”

Dan laughed again. “I like you, Phil Lester. You’re funny.”  

Phil smiled back at him. He leaned against the piano and asked, “so can I buy you a cup of coffee?”

Dan gave him an indulgent little smile in return. “I would, he started, “but I’m really supposed to be working right now.”

“Oh!” Phil backed off of the piano like he’d been burned. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Dan said with another chuckle.

Phil waved at him lamely as he walked into the coffee shop, the sounds of Dan playing flowing through the door.

WEDNESDAY

“I’ve got it bad, Lou,” Phil said to Louise, sitting in a booth in the coffee shop that afternoon. Dan was playing outside but Phil was making a conscious effort not to look at him. After all, he didn’t want to be the creepy guy who was stalking dan at his place of work. He wasn’t that desperate.

“For who?” Louise asked, smiling at Phil from over her cup of tea. They usually had a chat about whatever was happening that week, and Phil had called her that morning asking if she was free. He really needed to talk about his sudden, and unrelenting, crush on Dan the pianist.

“The guy playing piano right now,” Phil muttered.

Louise, with her superhuman mom hearing, gasped at the news. “Phil!” She squealed, leaning out of the booth to get a glance at Dan.

“Oh my god, don’t look!” Phil hissed under his breath.

Louise rolled her eyes and turned back to Phil. “You’re so dramatic,” she reprimanded. “Have you spoken to him?”

“Once,” Phil answered. He took a long sip from his coffee. “Or twice, rather.”

Louise squealed again. “Oo, tell me, tell me!”

Phil sighed. “So the first time I was late to a meeting across the street and ran face first into him-”

Louise scoffed. “Oh my god,” she laughed. “It’s like a bad romcom, innit?”

Phil narrowed his eyes at her. “It’s not funny. It’s tragically my life.” When Louise held her hands up in surrender, Phil continued. “Anyway. I think he thought I was a bit of an asshole and I was gonna apologize but I had a meeting that I was already late to so.”

“So,” Louise replied. When Phil didn’t continue, she urged him on. “Come on! What was the other time?”

“Yesterday,” Phil answered. “I was hungover so I needed a cup of coffee and I walked past and saw him playing. I was like ‘oh you’re good’ and we talked a little but I’m an idiot so I didn’t get his number.”

“Well duh!” Louise laughed. “The answer is obvious.” When Phil just raised an eyebrow at her, she continued. “You have to get his number!” Her lips turned up into a smirk. “Or get your number to him?”

Phil laughed darkly. “Easier said than done, Lou.”

THURSDAY

Phil laid in wait in the coffee shop, two cups in his hands, waiting for a pause in the music when he could go talk to Dan. It was a little creepy, but it was also Louise’s plan, and not a bad one at that. One of the cups was plain, the other had his name and number. He was going to go outside, give Dan the cup and walk away. If he was into Phil, Phil would get a text. If he wasn’t, Phil could die of shame.

Louise whacked his shoulder when he told her this part of the plan, but whatever.

The song came to a close and Phil walked out to the sound of scattered applause. Dan sat at the piano, scribbling on the music, thanking the people that put tips in his jar. He looked up in confusion when Phil put a cup of coffee on his piano. “For you,” Phil said gently.

Dan reached up and took it with an amused smile. “Thank you,” he answered. “That’s very kind.” He took a sip of the coffee but didn’t look at the cup.

Phil bit his lip. He hadn’t come up with anything else in the plan, and he certainly hadn’t accounted for this awkward lull of silence. “Well,” he said softly.

Dan laughed. “Well?” he questioned. Phil felt his knees turn to jelly. Dan’s laugh was beautiful and Phil wanted to keep hearing it more than anything.

“Well,” Phil said again. He stayed by the piano for a second. “Well, call me, if you wanna.”

With that, Phil walked away, just barely missing the “wait!” from Dan as he realized.

-

When Phil got home, he looked at his cup and realized it had his name and number. He had taken the wrong cup.

FRIDAY

Phil spent most of his day in bed, staring at the still full cup sitting on his dresser. He’s an idiot. A fucking idiot who will likely never have a boyfriend because god and the universe hates him.

A sharp knock at the door brought Phil out of his spiral. He sighed, paused the Buffy marathon he had been part way through. He stretches up, winces at the way his joints cracked. He sighed and waddled over to the door.

Martyn burst through before Phil could say hello. In lieu of a greeting, Martyn exclaimed, “Philip Michael Lester, if I wasn’t your brother, I’d quit. I hope you know that.”

“Nice to see you too,” Phil muttered under his breath. “How are you? Good? That’s good. I’ve been taking a depression nap because I ruined my chance to be with my soulmate and now I can nev-”

Martyn rolled his eyes, effectively shutting Phil up. He put his hand on his hip and glared at his younger brother. “You done?”

Phil shrugged. “I assume so.”

Martyn held out a piece of paper. When Phil just looked at it, Martyn asked, “well? You gonna take it?”

Phil took the piece of paper from Martyn’s outstretched hand and carefully unfolded it. He gasped as he read the shaky handwriting.

phil,

if you ever wanna do something (other than grab a cup of coffee, dear god) hmu

-dan.

“Wha-” Phil spluttered unhelpfully. “How?”

“Dan came to the office looking for you,” Martyn explained. “He said that he was waiting for you to make a move, and when you didn’t, he did it himself. Then they called me and I went in to get his number for you.” He sighed. “Jesus, Phil, are you actually ten? Can you not just ask a bloke out yourself?”

Suddenly, the full notion of what was actually happening hit. “Thank you!” Phil said quickly. He hugged his brother and then grabbed his phone. “Oh my god! I’m so happy. What should I say?”

Martyn rolled his eyes, but he looked fond. “Dunno,” he answered. “What would a cool guy say?”

Phil laughed. “Hell if I know,” he answered as he sent his first text.

TO DAN hey stranger.

FIN.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

hiii 

this was written for @youtubeandsatan, who prompted this so long ago they probably don’t remember. i hope you love this!

this was super fun to write and i hope it was fun to read! if you liked this, please, please consider reblogging it! i hate to complain but my fics have been really suffering lately and reblogs really do help this blog to grow. thank you so much if you decide to share this fic! 

if you’d like to read something else i’ve written, please check this list! if you’d like to follow me, i’d really love to be pals.

thank you all so much for supporting me. i love you all <3

It’s New Year’s Eve and Dan and Phil are snuggled into each other. Phil’s got an arm around Dan’s waist as he talks to Louise. Dan’s head lolls against Phil’s shoulder. He’s much less sober than Phil is, but he doesn’t care. He’s content to feel the rumble of Phil’s voice in his chest, feel Phil’s fingers trace over his hipbones.

Louise smiles warmly at the two of them. She’s been absolutely glowing since the news about her second child, and Dan supposes that’s probably what brings the question up. “So,” she says. “When are the beautiful husbands-” she motions to the matching rings on their hands, there since Japan when they had taken each other for life in a sudden, unplanned ceremony, “-going to grace us with a child of their own?”

“Oh-” Phil starts.

He’s probably about to come up with some excuse to talk her out of it. Phil’s really good at doing that. When Dan didn’t want labels as a scared, closeted kid in 2012, he’d come up with excuses like “we’re not rushing into anything” and “we don’t believe in labels.” Again, when Dan was afraid of getting married, “we have too much on our plate,” “we don’t need a piece of paper to prove we love each other.”

The baby thing is the new thing Phil needs to make excuses for. But Dan’s really drunk so he cuts Phil off with a “-tomorrow.”

Louise knows that drunk promise means nothing, but Phil’s eye catches Dan’s for just a moment too long and both of them can suddenly feel the energy that look has.

When midnight strikes, everyone shouts their blessings for a beautiful 2017. Phil pulls Dan into a kiss that’s as beautiful and mind numbing as their kisses usually are. Dan secretly vows to bring the baby thing up when they’re both more sober.

If he remembers, that is.

MAY 15th, 2018

Dan’s leg is shaking as he sits next to Phil in an ER at three in the morning.

It had taken over a year - a crazy, hectic, amazing year - to work everything out, but they had. They found a surrogate and signed the papers and were there for every one of her milestones. And then Phil got a call at three in the morning that their surrogate had gone into labor and neither he nor Dan was even angry at the fact that they were woken up.

They’re having a baby.

They barely get any sleep, and at nine, half asleep, a nurse comes to get them.

Their surrogate looks like she’s just been through hell and back, but she’s holding a baby in her arms and that’s all that Dan can focus on. That’s their daughter. She’s holding their daughter.

She catches Dan’s eye and smiles at him. “Do you want to hold her?” she asks.

Dan wants so badly to hold his daughter, but he’s frozen in fear. Phil steps forward and says, “Can I hold her?” and then takes her when the surrogate nods.

“Dan,” he says, his voice quiet and reverent and on the verge of tears. “Dan, she’s gorgeous.” He bounces their daughter, hums softly under his breath. Dan feels his heart swell with affection for his family - his family.

“Oh, let me,” he says suddenly. Phil just smiles and carefully gives Dan their daughter.

Dan looks down at her, her beautiful little face, her tiny hands, she’s perfect. She’s all theirs. Dan almost can’t believe it.

Phil wraps an arm around Dan’s waist and smiles at his husband.

CHRISTMAS EVE, 2018

It’s around midnight when Phil wanders into their lounge with a baby monitor in his hands. He stands in the doorway and watches Dan, standing on a ladder, decorating a tree that’s somehow taller than the both of them.

Phil clears his throat and Dan jumps. He laughs a little as he climbs off the ladder awkwardly. Phil wraps his arms around his husband’s waist, his head against Dan’s shoulder, looking up at the tree.

“You’re such a try-hard,” Phil says softly.

Dan laughs. He turns so he’s facing Phil. “I just want Emily to have a perfect Christmas.”

For the millionth time since they’ve been a couple, his heart bursts with affection for his husband. Dan’s so fucking perfect in every way, Phil’s can’t help but be hopelessly in love with him.

“C’mere,” Phil says, and he pulls Dan into a gentle kiss. Dan’s arms come to wrap around Phil’s neck, Phil’s trailing under Dan’s shirt as he drops the baby monitor to the floor. They haven’t had a lot of alone time since Emily was born and the contact feels amazing. Phil’s half-convinced he could kiss Dan forever.

Of course, that’s when the baby monitor lights up and Emily starts crying again.

Dan and Phil break apart with a breathless laugh. Phil picks the baby monitor up off the floor and gives Dan a sheepish smile. “I should probably go see if she’s okay.”

“Probably,” Dan answers. He pecks Phil’s lips before he smacks his ass. “Go!” he says. “I have to keep being a try-hard, anyway.”

FEBRUARY 14th, 2019

“It’s fine, Dan,” Louise insists. She’s got Emily in her arms as she smiles at Dan. “I love your daughter.”

Dan groans. “I know, but it’s Valentine’s Day,” he says. He packs another shirt into his bag and sighs. “You should be having fun, not watching Emily.”

“You need a day off,” Louise insists. “I know how hard it is being a first time parent. You and Phil deserve some time to get sexy with each other.”

Dan laughs at that. “God, okay, mum,” he says. He kisses Emily’s forehead. “Me and papa will see you tomorrow, baby girl.”

-

Phil’s the first one into the hotel room, trailed by Dan. “This is nice,” he says.

Dan nods in agreement, “yeah,” he answers. He puts his bags down and goes, “a little dingy, you reckon?”

Phil shrugs. “It’s not like we’re actually staying here.”

Dan presses Phil into a wall and kisses him, Phil’s bag dropping to the floor. Dan gets his hands in Phil’s hair and pulls. Phil whines somewhere high in his throat, presses until he’s flush against Dan.

Dan pulls back enough from the kiss so that he can gets his and Phil’s shirts off and onto the floor. He connects their lips again, gets his hands to Phil’s belt and is in the process of undoing it when his phone rings.

Dan pulls back and Phil latches onto his neck. “No, no, no,” he breathes out, all hot against Dan’s skin. “Don’t answer it.”

Dan whines at the feeling. “I-I have to,” he says. “It could be Louise.”

Phil follows him to his back, kissing down his neck, peppering hot kisses on his skin. Dan picks up his phone and answers. “Lou, hi,” he says, his voice all breathless.

“Dan,” Louise says. Dan can tell she’s been crying and his heart drops.

“Oh my god, Lou, what’s wrong?” he asks. Phil backs up, looks up at Dan through wide eyes. Dan grabs his hand and squeezes as he awaits Louise’ response.

“No,” Louise says through tears. “No, it’s tears of happiness, swear.” She sniffles and then laughs. “I-I was walking with Emily and-and she passed a photo of you lot and she said dada.”

“Oh my God,” Dan says. He sniffles himself.

“What?” Phil asks. He looks terrified.

“Emily said her first word,” Dan tells him. Phil slaps a hand over his own mouth. “She said dada.”

They hang up, but it’s impossible to continue. Dan looks at Phil and he says, “there’s nothing more I want than to be home with my daughter. Is that bad?”

“No,” Phil says. “Because I feel the same way.”

They check out of the hotel room with red eyes and stuffy noses. They know they must look weird, but when they get home to Emily it’s all worth it.

Best Valentine’s Day ever.

APRIL 28th 2019

“Come on, Emily. Come on.”

Dan and Phil are curled into each other on the couch. They watch in amusement as Chris tries to get her to walk. She hasn’t walked yet, and they’re positive she won’t walk towards Chris during a movie.

“Chris, come on,” Dan says. “It’s a worthless cause.”

Chris rolls his eyes. “Go back to your movie,” he says. “I’m going to get her to walk. I know I am.”

They watch the movie for a little while, until they hear Chris go “oh, oh! Look!”

They turn in tandem and watch as Emily takes a few steps towards Chris. She falls into his arms giggling.

Phil gets off the couch immediately and pulls his daughter into a hug. “Good job, Emily!” he says. He presses kisses to the side of her head.

Chris smirks up at Dan. “I’ve got the magic touch, Dan,” he says.

Dan smacks him upside the head with a pillow.

MAY 15th 2018

Their flat is a mess.

There’s confetti, wrappers, streamers, cups, plates everywhere. Dan’s been tasked with cleaning it up while Phil puts Emily to sleep. Once she’s down, he goes back to join Dan.

“I’m never throwing another birthday party for Emily ever again,” Dan says. He’s holding a discarded cupcake in one hand and looks disgusted. “I swear to god.”

Later, Phil finds him cuddling Emily on the couch, a book in between them as Dan reads to their daughter.

He knows Dan’s a liar.

Fin.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

madi is the second place winner of the fanfic giveaway that i literally had in june. i have no excuse other than my mental breakdown - please forgive me and take this fic instead.

madi is super sweet and nice; her blog is gorgeous and everything she reblogs is a+, i would totally recommend hitting her up with a little follow. 

i asked madi what songs she wanted and she gave me some which i made this playlist based off of! this playlist got me through writing this fic so i would recommend listening and immersing yourself. except it’s been so long that it has her old url oops

if you enjoyed this, please please consider liking or reblogging it. the notes really do help spread the word about my blog and it’s because of you guys that i was able to get out of my weird mental funk and write again.

thank you.

- hunter <3

They’ve been friends since primary school - so basically as long as Phil can remember. Dan is smart and talented and hilarious, always there to help Phil with his calculus homework (despite being younger than him), sing High School Musical with him (despite the fact that Phil can’t sing) and be player two in Crash Bandicoot. Basically, Dan is the best friend ever.

Except for one thing. Dan’s dog Colin.

Ever since Dan’s family had brought home Colin - Dan had showed Phil over Skype - the dog has had it out for him. Among various transgressions, the dog has literally eaten Phil’s homework (imagine explaining that to your teacher), pissed on his drama script (again, a fun explanation), and has eaten half of Phil’s very expensive sandwich.

And then there’s the fact that Phil cannot get within five feet of the thing without having a sneezing fit. On top of everything Colin has done to him, Phil’s allergic. Which is a blast.

He often has to take Benadryl just to be in Dan’s house. Which is why he’s in Tesco’s after school when he should be at home or at Dan’s - pretending to do his homework while he plays video games instead.

His phone chimes in his back pocket with a text, but he ignores it as he looks over the labels. He’s considering getting extra strength Benadryl in case Colin attacks him when his phone chimes again. And again. And then it rings.

He answers without looking. “Holy shit, what do you want?”

“Phil?” It’s Dan’s voice, but softer, shakier sounding. Phil’s been friends with Dan for long enough to know what he sounds like on the verge of tears, and his heart instantly breaks into a million different pieces.

“Dan,” he says softly. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. What’s wrong?”

“It’s-” Dan gives a little sob and Phil picks up the Benadryl, walks onto the queue where he’s behind an elderly woman with two full baskets, good lord. “It’s Chris.”

Chris, as in Dan’s boyfriend. Phil knew Chris was no good for him, but he had never interfered before because Dan seemed so happy. Now, he feels miserable. “Oh god,” Phil says. He looks at the old lady in front of him, who seems to be moving so slowly that Phil wonders if he entered the fucking Matrix, and then back down at the box of Benadryl.

He sighs. “I’m coming to you, okay? Stay there.” He hangs up the phone and puts the box down, then books it out of Tesco’s as fast as he can without looking suspicious.

He drives to Dan’s house perhaps a little faster than legal. Luckily, he doesn’t get pulled over before he pulls up to Dan’s house. He gets out of his car and barely even knocks at the front door before Dan answers - drowning in a hoodie, his face red with tears.

Phil pulls him into a hug. “Hey,” he says into Dan’s hair. “Let’s get you inside.”

They somehow manage to stumble inside and Phil closes the door behind them. Dan leads Phil wordlessly to the kitchen and doesn’t sit in a chair - instead slides to the floor with his head in his hands. Phil doesn’t even think about the possibility of Colin coming to attack him, he just sits next to Dan and wraps an arm around him.

“What happened?” Phil asks after a long silence.

Dan sniffles. “H-he said that he could do better than me.” His voice barely shakes on the words but he sounds so defeated - almost like he believes the asshole. Phil has never wanted to go to someone’s house and punch them in the face more. “I’ll never be good enough for anyone.”

That’s enough to get Phil out of his head. “Hey, that’s not true,” he says softly. He wipes the tears from Dan’s eyes with the back of his thumb. “You’re amazing, Dan. Any guy that can’t see that is an asshole.”

In a moment akin to a romcom, Dan looks up at Phil through his tears. Phil pushes a piece of Dan’s hair back so he can look Dan in the eyes. The two of them stare at each other for a second and Phil can’t believe he’s never noticed how beautiful Dan’s eyes are. He gets a hand under Dan’s chin and the two of them lean in.

At that exact moment, Colin decides to jump on Dan and knock him away from Phil. Dan laughs and Phil would be mad at Colin if Dan’s laugh hadn’t made him so happy.

Phil stands up quickly and clears his throat. Dan looks up at him from where he’s sitting on the floor playing with Colin. “I-” Phil clears his throat, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. “I’m going to get Starbucks. Do you want anything?”

“Yeah,” Dan says. “You know what I like.” That sentence leaves a stunning realization in Phil’s chest. How could he have never noticed just how perfect they were for each other before?

“Of course,” he says instead, and quickly makes his way out of Dan’s house.

Dan and Phil have been best friends for as long as Phil can remember. Phil can’t remember ever having romantic feelings for his best friend. Sure, they have a much more physical relationship than male friends usually do, but he had always chalked that up to the two of them being more fluid in their sexuality than typical friends.

Still, all the hugs and cheek kisses, cuddling and late night movie sessions, Phil can’t help but think those would be so much better if he could lean over and pull Dan into a kiss.

Phil comes back with the two cups of coffee and a firm resolution to tell Dan how he feels. However, that plan goes out the window as soon as he walks in. Dan is asleep on the couch, cuddling with Colin. It’s cute, sure, but Phil can’t help but sigh a little in disappointment.

He swears, Colin gives him a smug look.

It seems after that, Colin is out to sabotage his relationship with Dan before it even begins.

Phil stops by a florist after school to buy flowers for Dan. He’s personally never understood the appeal, but they make Dan smile and that’s what he’s going for. He knows that Dan’s commute home is a little longer than his as Dan takes the bus, so Phil sits in Dan’s living room with the flowers and waits.

Unfortunately, he forgets that he’s put the flowers down, and it isn’t until Colin returns with a rose stem that Phil realizes that the flowers have been torn apart.

The next time Phil tries to impress Dan, he writes him a poem in drama. To be fair, he’s not the world’s best writer, but it’s from his heart and Phil hopes that’s all that matters. He’s been sitting in Dan’s room for a while, the both of them listening to music and working separately on different homework assignments, when Phil remembers the poem.

“I’ll be right back, I wanna show you something,” he says, and if Dan notices the way his heart is beating out of his skin, he doesn’t say anything. Phil walks to the corridor where he left his bookbag leaning against Colin. He goes to pick it up and Colin latches onto the handle. When Phil tries to grab it from him, all the papers spill.

Colin then proceeds to stand over the pile and piss.

“Hey, what’s taking so-” Dan stops from where he’s moved to the doorway and gasps. “Oh, bad doggie!” He says. He shoos Colin away and grabs some paper towels. He’s cleaning the mess when he looks up at Phil and says, “I’m so sorry. I hope there was nothing important.”

Phil breaks out of his stunned silence and leans down to help Dan pick up the piss-soaked papers. Gross. “It’s fine,” he lies.

When the mess is done and they both wash their hands, Dan turns to Phil. “So,” he says. “What did you wanna show me?”

Phil sighs. “It’s nothing,” he answers.

At that point, Phil decides to throw all of his plans out the window. They’re stupid anyway. He decides he’s just going to be direct - wait until a moment when Dan’s eye catches his and they’re staring at each other and Phil can get a hand on Dan’s cheek and pull him into a beautiful first kiss.

Dan will fall for him for sure.

The first perfect moment, they’re watching a movie. Phil makes a joke and Dan laughs. He turns to Phil, and his eyes are shining in the gentle moonlight streaming through the window. Phil actually feels his heart catch in his throat and he swears Dan moves in closer. He brings a shaking hand to move Dan’s hair out of his face and gets a hand under his chin. His heart is pounding hard as he moves in and-

Colin jumps in between them. Dan lets out an awkward little laugh and pets Colin’s head. He throws Phil an apologetic look and turns back to the movie as if nothing ever happened.

Phil’s not sure if Dan’s completely clueless or just fucking with him at this point, honestly.

The next perfect moment, they’re eating dinner on the floor like responsible, mature people with a table. Dan tells Phil he’s got an eyelash on his cheek and Phil asks him to get it. With the gentle back of his thumb, Dan gets the eyelash from Phil’s cheek and offers the thumb to Phil. “Blow it away, make a wish,” Dan says under his breath.

Phil takes Dan’s outstretched hand and moves in closer, closes his eyes and wishes for at least a shot with Dan. He blows it away and opens his eyes again, and finds Dan’s eyes transfixed on his lips. He decides that’s as sure of a sign as any from the gods that he should go for it. He moves in close, almost connects their lips.

And Colin jumps on Dan, knocks him out of the way like a sports play. And that’s the exact moment when Phil decides he’s done fucking around with Colin.

Phil waits a few days before he goes over Dan’s again. He takes a deep breath before he walks in - he doesn’t need to knock - and makes a beeline for Dan.

“Dan,” he starts. His best friend looks up, vaguely startled by Phil’s resolute expression. He’s got books spread out in front of him - clearly working on some sort of project for school. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Dan says slowly. He takes his earbud out of his ear and places it on the table. “I’m all yours.”

Phil takes a deep breath. “I-” Then he spots Colin sitting around the corner, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He looks between Dan and the dog and says, “excuse me.”

With sheer willpower, he manages to get Colin into Dan’s room and he locks the door. Pleased with himself, he returns to the kitchen and sits across from Dan. “Dan, I-”

They’re both startled by the sound of Colin barking. Dan laughs a little bit and stands. “I should let him out,” he reasons.

Phil almost watches him go, really, he does. But then he decides ‘fuck it’, because it’s now or never, and he drags Dan into his lap and kisses him.

Dan doesn’t respond for a second, which scares Phil, but then he’s kissing back with the force of a man who’s been denied something for way too long. He gets a hand into Phil’s hair and sinks into Phil’s lap. Phil wraps an arm around Dan’s waist and pulls him in closer. Dan makes a little noise in the back of his throat that Phil wants a fucking audio recording of - honestly.

Phil picks Dan up - quite a feat considering they’re the same height - and stands. He gets a hand under Dan’s ass to support him but doesn’t break the kiss. Dan’s arms move to around Phil’s neck so at least it’s easier to stay still as they kiss. Phil walks them to Dan’s bedroom slowly and kicks the door open with his foot.

Of course, Colin attacks almost as soon as the door is open. He jumps on them, and Phil is so startled that he falls backwards with Dan on top of him. Dan rolls off in shock, and Colin immediately takes his place, licking Phil’s face and clawing at his chest.

Dan starts laughing - Phil supposes it is funny, in hindsight - as Phil tries to wrestle the dog off of him. “Colin-” Dan wheezes through laughter, his cheeks red and his eyes watering. “Colin, Colin, bad. Leave-” he’s laughing too hard to continue.

Phil immediately manages to get Colin off of him and sits up. And, as he watches his best friend laugh, he finds he doesn’t really care that Colin interrupted them this time.

Even as his allergies kick in.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

so maddi is the first place winner of my fanfic giveaway! it finished at the end of june and i’m just now getting around to writing this fic i know i’m a horrible human being i had school lmao

it really was so fun working with them! they’re so nice and their blog is so beautiful, i definitely recommend checking them out and giving them a little follow!

i asked them for their music taste and they said they wanted feel good pop songs, which i hope i delivered. check out the playlist, it was super fun to put together and i binged it while writing this.

if you liked this please, please consider giving it a reblog. those help the blog to grow and give me motivation to actually write instead of binging netflix lmao.

check out the rest of my writing here. 

thank you i love you

-hunt <3

Dan was curled into his side, his cheek pressed to Phil’s chest through a sleep shirt, the duvet thrown haphazardly over the two of them. Their legs were tangled in a mess of limbs, their toes curled together. They usually didn’t sleep together. It wasn’t that they didn’t love each other or love cuddling, neither of those were true, but they were both quite large. Legs got tangled together in a way that was uncomfortable and it was inconvenient to get out of a cuddle when you needed to pee and Phil snored. Loudly. Honestly, it was easier to have separate bedrooms and separate beds.

But last night Dan had came into his bedroom complaining that their apartment was too cold because their radiator was broken and London was unforgivingly nippy. So Phil had lifted his duvet and offered the space underneath it and Dan had crawled under and curled up by his side and had fallen asleep within minutes.

So usually Phil didn’t have an excuse to watch his boyfriend sleep. As creepy as it might be, Dan was beautiful like this. Phil had no idea how one person could be so incredibly radiant, or how he had gotten so incredibly lucky. Staring at Dan like this, beautiful and amazing and all his, Phil couldn’t help but wonder and want. He let his hand trace the gentle shape of Dan’s arm until he got to his boyfriend’s hand, tangled their fingers together and let his ring finger catch on Dan’s for a second.

“Mh,” came a noise from his boyfriend. Phil could feel Dan smile against his chest and then his deadweight hand was alive again, laid their tangled fingers against his side. “Good mornin’,” Dan slurred gently, let his eyelids flutter open to smile at his boyfriend.

Phil smiled back down at him. Something about dating someone for eight years made it so that you didn’t really care if they saw you with ten chins or with sleep in your eyes or even after probably drooling for eight hours straight because you know they see you with the same radiance as you see them. It was nice. “Good morning.” He shifted a bit, got his arm out from where it was asleep under Dan to trace the curves of the side of his body. “I believe it’s someone’s birthday.”

Dan chuckled softly, his voice still full of sleep, low and groggy. “Is it really?” He stretched out himself before tangling his fingers with Phil’s again. “Who would that be?”

“Dunno,” Phil answered. He pulled Dan so that his boyfriend was laying on top of him suddenly. Dan squeaked out a little laugh, his legs going to either side of Phil’s to straddle him. Dan sat up in this position momentarily before Phil pulled him back in for a deep kiss. With Dan’s cocky smile gone finally, the two of them kissed like this, Dan’s hands tangled in Phil’s hair. Dan sat up to pull away but Phil was feeling desperate and needy and chased his boyfriend’s lips. Dan let him, moved so his bum was sitting in Phil’s lap before kissing back with the same amount of passion.

When Dan finally pulled away, his face was flushed and his lips were bruised and he looked at Phil’s lips like he had never wanted anything more. “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you,” Phil answered. He ran a hand up Dan’s back, pushed up the sweater that Dan had been wearing.

Dan laughed. “You’re a horny little shit, aren’t you?”

Phil smirked at him. “You should be happy I don’t have to take viagra yet.”

“Ew, gross,” Dan answered, but he laughed so Phil knew he didn’t mean it. Phil went in for another kiss because morning birthday sex sounded really good, but Dan dodged it. “I don’t think so,” he answered. “We’re having a special birthday day, old man.” Dan pressed a gentle kiss to Phil’s cheek before swinging his legs over Phil’s. “Three, by the way.”

Phil cocked an eyebrow at this. “Three what?”

“Three kisses,” Dan answered. Phil watched as he stood from his bed and walked towards the door. “I’m gonna give you thirty. Thirty kisses for thirty years.”

Phil laughed. He followed Dan to the hallway and leaned against the door as Dan walked to their kitchen. “That’s cheesy for you, Dan Howell,” he called into the hallway.

“Shut up and get dressed, Phil Lester!” Dan called from the kitchen. He turned into the hallway momentarily, pointed a mug at Phil. “I mean it.”

-

So Phil had been having domestic fantasies.

As he buffed shampoo into his hair, he realized that’s probably fairly obvious. He couldn’t help it, though. After being in a relationship with Dan for eight years, it was only a matter of time before he started to have them. He had a bad habit of watching too many romcoms with Dan curled by his side, and with every wedding scene he couldn’t help but picture the couple being him and Dan instead.

In the beginning of their relationship, they had talked about getting married and settling down a lot. However, after the existential crisis of 2012, Dan had admitted through teary, red eyes and wheezing breaths that growing older scared him shitless. Phil wasn’t offended, it wasn’t like Dan hadn’t wanted to get married and own a house with kids and a dog with him, specifically. It was more of a fear of being an adult, generally. So Phil had laid off, let their relationship regrow naturally and beautifully and as just boyfriends. And that was amazing and magical and something so much stronger than it had been.

But recently, Phil couldn’t help but think that Dan was ready. He’d first had the thought in 2015, two whole years ago, when he caught Dan scrolling through Japanese wedding venues. Phil’s heart caught in his chest every time they passed by a cherry tree and, as Dan wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close on the top of Mount Fuji, Phil had thought for sure “this is it.” But, as they walked through the Japanese airport to go back to London, Phil rolled his suitcase beside him with a smile on his face and feeling refreshed and in love, sure, but without a ring on his finger.

Two years later, it occurred to Phil as if an omen in a dream one night. Dan was never going to propose to him. One of Dan’s greatest fears was rejection and as silly as Phil might know it was, how could he not say yes to being forever Dan’s?, Dan couldn’t help but fear the worst. So, as much as Dan might be dreaming and hoping and wanting and wandering, it would never happen if Phil left the ball in his court. Since when did he start making sports metaphors? They really had been watching way too many sports animes.

Like many things in Phil’s life, it was up to him.

-

Phil walked from his bedroom dressed in a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. Dan smiled at him from where he was actually making breakfast, pancakes and bacon and eggs that maked Phil’s mouth water. Phil came up behind his boyfriend, wrapped an arm around his waist to kiss his cheek. “Hi,” he said softly. “Need help?”

Dan snorted a laugh. “Even if it wasn’t your birthday, I wouldn’t want help from you anyway.” Phil was pretty notorious between the two of them as a bad cook.

Phil let out an offended, indigent huff anyway. “Fine, I get it, you don’t love me.” Dan laughed as Phil let go of his waist to put a hand to his forehead like a swooning maid. “I’ll always have Timothy.”

Dan laughed again. He looked over his shoulder at his boyfriend. Smiley Dan would forever be Phil’s favorite kind of Dan, soft and kind and happy. “Who’s Timothy?”

“Uh, my new houseplant?” Phil replied. He shot Dan a look that said ‘you should have known that.’

Dan chuckled in reply. “Right.” He turned off their stove and looked over at his boyfriend. “Pancakes?”

“Please,” Phil answered quickly. Dan laughed at the fact that Phil was crowding him in his excitement for pancakes. Dan took Phil’s shoulders and pushed him back down to a chair. Phil’s hands came up to rest on either side of Dan’s waist and he smirked up at his boyfriend. “Damn, Nicki,” he joked.

“That joke’s about as dated as you,” Dan answered teasingly, but he straddled Phil to drop down in his lap anyway. Phil laughed. There was a difference between Dan actually being sexy and Dan being jokingly sexy and, with his head rolled back and an exaggerated moan, this was obviously a joke. Phil placed a gentle kiss on the exposed expanse of Dan’s neck before proclaiming, “pancakes, please.”

Dan huffed out another laugh. “God damn,” he answered as he rolled off his boyfriend’s lap into standing. “You know you’re dating an old man when he wants pancakes over sex.”

Phil chuckled, raised his hands in defense. “Hey, if you wanted to have sex while I was eating pancakes, that would be a birthday wish come true.”

Dan turned to him just to laugh again. “Pervert.” As he scooped a pancake onto a plate, he announced, “five, by the way.” He passed the plate to Phil, who took it with a gracious smile.

“Oh, so it counts if I kiss you, huh?” Phil asked. He cut into his pancakes and scooped some into his mouth, moaning in appreciation. Dan didn’t cook often, but when he did it was good. “I thought the thirty kisses had to come from you.”

“Nah,” Dan answered. He leaned forward to grab a piece of bacon from Phil’s plate. “The kisses just have to be between us. Otherwise you could sneak more than thirty and that would just be unacceptable.”

Phil hummed his understanding. “Wouldn’t want that,” he teased. Dan rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face gave him away as fond.

“Does the length of the kiss play into it?” Phil asked. He stood and crossed the room, let his arms fall over the length of his boyfriend’s chest. “Like what if I do-” he paused, leaned forward to press a long, firm kiss to Dan’s neck. Dan moaned appreciatively, and Phil smirked against his skin. “-that?”

Dan’s eyes rolled back. Phil smiled at how sensitive his boyfriend was. “If you left a hickey, Phil Lester, I swear to god-”

“Relax, no hickeys. I know the drill.” Phil moved so that he was sitting across from Dan again. He was true to his word, the red mark on Dan’s neck would be gone in a minute or so. “I’m just saying,” he scooped so more pancakes into his mouth. “Did that count as one or-”

“-two,” Dan answered. “I think longer kisses will count as two.”

“So seven, then?” Phil asked.

“Seven,” Dan answered.

-

Eight was exchanged as a quick peck as Dan handed Phil a coffee. Nine, ten, and eleven were exchanged quietly as they watched the Great British Bakeoff. It wasn’t a very romantic show, but any excuse to kiss was a good one.

Twelve and thirteen was a two-for-one kiss, as Dan meant to give Phil a quick peck and Phil pulled him in for something that was long and dirty and had Dan sighing into his mouth. Fourteen, fifteen and sixteen were scattered down Dan’s neck. Seventeen-and-a-half was a kiss that accidentally turned into a bite, a small mark on Dan’s neck that was followed up by the other half of seventeen. After a lazy afternoon of lounging together, eighteen was a quick peck as Dan told Phil to get ready to go out.

Dan had laid out an outfit for Phil, apparently. A nice shirt with a jacket and a pair of pants he usually reserved for weddings or fancy parties or, in this case, fancy dates. Phil pulled each item on and was in the middle of tying a tie around his neck when Dan came behind him. Dan looked as beautiful as ever in a similar suit, minus the tie he had now taken over tying around Phil’s throat. He pulled it tight and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Phil’s neck. Nineteen.

“What do you have planned, Dan Howell?” Phil turned so he could see Dan properly, wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him into another kiss. Twenty. “Hi, by the way. You look amazing, did I mention that?”

“I never tire of hearing it,” Dan replied with a cheeky smile. “You’re not allowed to know where I’m taking you. It’s a surprise.” Dan leaned back to pull his phone out of his pocket. “Which we’re going to be late for if we don’t leave.” He dropped a kiss to Phil’s cheek before walking towards the door. “C’mon!”

“I’m coming!” Phil answered. He stalled in his room for a minute, let his fingers run across a box that had been waiting for him for too long in a drawer.

Dan peaked his head from Phil’s doorway. “Are you coming or not?”

Phil laughed softly. “Relax yourself, I’m coming.” Dan rolled his eyes with a fond smile, and Phil dropped the box in his pocket before following after him.

It was up to Phil.

-

Kiss twenty-two and twenty-three were exchanged on the taxi ride to the restaurant, because Dan was beautiful and radiant and there was no way Phil could not kiss him. The place Dan took Phil to was gorgeous, the interior lavious, the food incredible and mouthwatering. Kisses twenty-four through twenty-six were exchanged during the course of the meal, one as a thank you and one because Dan had chocolate on his lips and Phil was a bit of a sugar addict. When the bill came Phil nearly choked, but Dan, grownup and well-off and everything Phil knew he would be from age eighteen, didn’t even bat an eyelash at it, swatted Phil’s hand away when he tried to pay, leaving a soft kiss on his lips instead.

The two of them walked hand in hand down the same pathway that had inspired Dan to write the Urge, a glass of wine in each of their free hands. It was beautiful in the twilight, and Dan look so radiant and glowing that Phil had to kiss him again. It was in this soft glow that he knew what he had to do. After all, if it wasn’t him and it wasn’t now, when and who? Jesus, he had been reading a lot of John Green novels.

“Dan, wait,” Phil stopped his boyfriend and pulled him to the side of the street, out of the way of everyone else. Dan gave him a confused look. Phil cleared his throat and then laughed softly. “You’re gonna let me talk, yeah?”

Dan seemed to consider it for a minute. “Yeah?” He answered. “What’s up?”

“So I’m thirty,” Phil started with a soft laugh. “And everyone’s been joking about me having a secret wife and a baby and, like, it’s all a joke obviously, yeah? But I’ve been thinking,” he paused. “It might be nice-”

“You’re marrying a woman?”

Phil laughed. “No, you dingus. You.”

“Oh,” Dan answered. Then, again, “oh!”

“So,” Phil dropped to his knee and took Dan’s hand. “If you would like to be my husband, I promise that we can lounge in bed all day and I’ll make breakfast whenever you want and I’ll pick up my socks. Well, I can’t promise that but the rest of it.” He brought Dan’s hand to his lips and softly kissed his palm. “Also, it would be really mean to say no to me on my birthday.”

Dan laughed through tears that had welled up in his eyes. “I mean,” he nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Dan pulled Phil into a hug and the two of them stood like that for a while, oblivious to the stares of everyone around them. “D-” Dan sniffled before laughing again. “Do you have a ring or-”

“Oh!” Phil reached in his pocket for the ring and slid it onto Dan’s finger. “There. All mine.”

Dan chuckled. “All yours,” he whispered.

Thirty.

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

Happy birthday Phil!

Fun fact: I’m queuing this post so it’s currently the 27th and I’ve just written this during my theology final in my Catholic school. Every once in a while, my teacher will look up at me and I’m sure she knows I’m writing gay fanfiction. 

I know this isn’t a prompt and everyone wants me beheaded for that but I wrote gratuitous smut for Phil’s twenty-ninth and I feel like he deserves more.

Please reblog if you enjoyed to help spread the word about the blog and my writing yada yada yada.

Thanks love y’all

It’s been happening for at least a few weeks now. He’ll be perfectly fine, living his life as a normal bloke in London, albeit he’s an internet personality, when he’ll stumble across a baby or a baby advert or baby clothes or baby food and he’s down for the count. It happens now. A mum in front of him in the shops is holding the hand of a little baby girl. The girl turns to Dan and waves. Dan doesn’t wave back but he does squeeze the bottle of orange juice just a little harder.

Dan has always been someone that’s loved children. He melts every time he sees a baby, could spend hours talking to toddlers, but he’s never seen himself as someone who could actually be a dad. But recently, for some reason, he sees a baby and can't help but feel a pull in his heart.

He's got it bad.

Dan pays for his orange juice and is about to leave the store when he comes across a row of stuffed animals. He lets his fingers trace over the soft material of a little stuffed elephant. His finger must catch for a moment too long because a stop associate is suddenly behind him. “Have a child you’re shopping for?”

This is the first time Dan’s ever been caught in his sudden guilty pleasure. “Erm, my son.” Dil’s birthday is coming up, this is justifiable. “It’s his third birthday soon and I was thinking of getting him something.”

“Oh,” the shop owner smiles innocently at him. Dan feels like he must know. “Well we’re having a deal on these. They’re half off. Five pounds.”

Dan finally picks one of the little elephants up. He strokes the little elephant’s ears between two of his fingers and feels his heart fall to his stomach. “Okay.”

He walks out of the shops with a glass of orange juice and a stuffed elephant. He considers giving the little elephant to Phil as a joke, as a gift, just to say he felt awkward not buying one because he lingered too long. But he gets home and he chickens out. He brings the bag to his bedroom and shoves the little elephant under his bed and then he sits on the bed and he wonders what’s wrong with him.

ii.

Dan loves the Lesters. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so comfortable with someone’s family before. The Lesters are welcoming and hilarious and they make him feel warm and loved every time he visits. They’re up north today for Phil’s cousin’s wedding. Phil’s mum calls them handsome and Dan relishes in being able to kiss Phil in the car on the way to the church.

At the reception, Phil asks Dan to dance. Here, no one knows who they are or what they have to hide. They’re simply Phil and his boyfriend, and with no charade or camera or fans, Dan accepts his offer. They sway together on the dance floor, Dan’s hands around Phil’s neck, his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder. Phil holds him close with his hands linked behind Dan’s back. It’s nice. It’s calming. It’s exhilarating

Suddenly, a young girl runs up to the two of them. She’s young, maybe three years old, with long blonde hair in pigtails. She runs to Phil, who scoops her up in his arms as the young girl squeals. “Uncle Phil!”

“Hi Eve!” Phil greets. He turns the girl towards Dan. “Have you ever met my boyfriend, Dan?”

Eve shakes her head with a wide smile. “Hi Uncle Dan!” She holds out a hand. “My name’s Evelyn.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Evelyn.” Dan shakes her hand with a smile. His heart warms at the sight of his boyfriend with a child. Absently, he can hear Phil chatting the young girl up, talking to her about school and her drawings and her singing voice, but Dan feels like he’s underwater. He’s filled again with the sudden and inexplicable fear that someone will find him out.

“Dan.” Dan’s broken out of his own mind by Phil’s voice. He’s given Evelyn back to her mum now. Phil puts a hand to Dan’s thigh and strokes lovingly. “Are you alright?”

Dan takes a second to reply. He puts his hand over Phil’s and runs his thumb over Phil’s knuckles. “I’m fine,” he answers. He gives Phil a small smile. “I was thinking.”

Phil rolls his eyes but he gives Dan a smile in return. “You think too much.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to Dan’s lips. It’s exhilarating that they’re somewhere where they can finally do that. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Dan says softly. As Phil presses in close to him again, Dan finds he can’t get the thought of Phil with a little girl all their own.

iii.

When Dan wakes up, he knows it’s gonna be one of those days. They happen every few months. After so long of work and pushing and being social, his brain shuts down, reminds him that he’s worthless and tired and that one day everyone he loves will be dead. Usually they stay inside on days like these, and today is no exception.

When Dan doesn’t get out of the bed by noon, Phil goes to check on him. He finds his boyfriend curled up in a ball, sobbing in great, heaving breaths. Phil sighs softly, closes the door behind himself as he goes to join Dan in bed. He runs a comforting hand down his boyfriend’s back, shushes him softly. Dan melts into the affection, leans heavily against Phil as he weeps. Phil knows that his jumper will be tearstained, but he doesn’t mind.

“Shh, shh, Dan, it’s okay,” Phil comforts in a low voice. “You’re okay. I’m here.” He squeezes Dan’s shoulders tightly. “What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong is the fact that Dan thinks Phil maybe doesn’t want a family with him. After all, Phil is bi, maybe he has an idea of a perfect wife and biological children and a house with a white picket fence and settling down with someone his age. Dan’s just a nerd in his mid-twenties who has matching hair to Phil’s and occasionally has meltdowns. Dan’s just a child himself. How could Phil possibly want a child with someone like him?

“Nothing,” Dan replies, his voice soft.

Dan’s fairly sure Phil knows that’s bullshit, but Phil also knows when to pick his battles. “Okay.” He kissed the top of Dan’s head. “I’m gonna get you some hot chocolate.”

“Okay,” Dan answers. “Okay.”

iv.

When Dan wakes up, he notices Phil isn’t curled into his side. He lets his limbs stretch, feels so much better. Phil was right, as always. A nap always makes him feel better. Dan notices a light coming from the lounge and follows it. “I’m starving,” Dan announces as he walks in the room. “I’m gonna or-” he pauses. “Is that my laptop?”

Phil looks up from the soft glow of Dan’s laptop. “You want a kid?” He asks. His voice is soft and unreadable. Dan mentally curses out his boyfriend’s ability to keep a straight face.

“I-I mean,” Dan splutters, tries to think of a reason, any reason that would make sense. He draws a blank. “I have no explanation,” he says after a minute.

Phil sighs. He closes Dan’s laptop and puts it to the side. “You should have come to talk to me,” he reprimands gently. “We could have had an actual, grownup conversation about this.”

Dan sighs. He figures he’s safe, so he sits down in Phil’s lap. Phil brings a hand to stroke the skin of Dan’s back revealed by his sweater riding up. “You know I’m not good at grownup conversations.”

Phil brings a hand up to run through Dan’s hair. “You don’t have to get lost in your mind.”

“I know,” Dan says, and usually when he says this to people it’s just a way to get them off his back but he does, he does know, he trusts Phil with his life and everything that happens in his head. When Phil draws him in for a long, loving kiss, Dan thinks maybe he’s not so alone after all.

v.

A few months later, a video goes up on danisnotonfire. It’s simply titled “Baby Food Challenge & Big Announcement!” At the end, covered in baby food and smiling like idiots, Dan and Phil reveal that they’ve been accepted for adoption.

Then, a little while after that, their names are called in the waiting room of a hospital. They get up hand in hand and rush to meet their daughter. Emily Howell-Lester is born at three in the morning, and though Dan’s exhausted, he doesn’t think his heart has ever pounded harder. He grabs Phil’s hand and squeezes, and as Phil looks over at him with a gentle smile, Dan knows he has it bad.

He wouldn’t want it any other way.

AUTHOR’S NOTES: 

“seb, you’re-you’re writing? and it’s not ficlets? whaaaa? you’ve written an actual fic?” 

so i know i’m horrible for not having filled prompts in literally over a month, and i also know i’m awful for going out of order but you’ll forgive me.

this is the first part of a dan and phil parent ‘verse i’ve been wanting to start for forever and i thought this prompt was perfect for it! i’ll start filling prompts in order i swear.

please please reblog as it helps to spread the word about the blog

-seb