#persy psa

I just hate the antis who take their discomfort and turn it into abusive behavior. calling people slurs and anonymously accusing them of awful abuse just for holding a label. its disgusting and shameful behavior, that's not how we ought to treat others. we learned as young children to treat others how you want to be treated

even if it was your abuser? that's not the way you solve conflict. lashing out by letting everyone else in this community see that you think every other person in this community with that label is just as abusive is so fucked up*

hurting people just because you've been hurt only perpetuates the cycle of abuse. if you want abuse in this world to end, then it starts with you. we can only ever control ourselves and our own actions. and by our actions we can influence change. our focus needs to be on holding actual abusers and predators accountable in a way that actually names exactly what behaviors they did that was wrong, and allows them the ability to relfect on their actions and figure out how to change, to understand how to honor consent. you will never teach a person consent by violating theirs

be the change you wish to see in the world, and we will have a future we all deserve

grooming is not an inherent feature of any relationship, regardless of what kind of generational gap or power gap is occurring, regardless if anyone involved has an active attraction

grooming is actively building trust with the intention of encouraging a person towards things they are uncomfortable with or that you know could lead them to harm, especially when you are encouraging them with enticements of the positive aspects of what you're pushing them towards without informing them of the real potential negatives in a way where they can accurately asses risk (eg. telling them all the money they can make selling drugs w/o informing of legal risks and psychological risks and what they can lose out on)

vs

Radical Acceptance

I think some folks new to fringe queer communities hear "radical acceptance" and worry that accepting someone means you have to let them exist however they want around you, even if it makes you uncomfortable. This is not true!

Accepting someone means supporting their right to exist. That looks like:

• using their listed pronouns

• treating them as their trans identities

• validating their identity's right to exist(directly to them or in general)

(what makes the acceptance radical is that ALL identities are accepted, not just some)

Not accepting someone looks like:

• invalidating their identity by telling them they're not allowed to exist or that their identity is wrong

• telling them they don't belong in community because of their identity

Boundaries looks like

• putting any group, age, category, identity, person, etc on your DNI

• enforcing your own DNI by (soft) blocking people

• ending interactions that you don't like

• avoiding/ignoring people you don't want to interact with

the only time your chrono age is relevant is when you want to get into a sexual relationship and you are a chronoMinor when the other person is not

not because the person needs to understand some sort of "true Identity" you still deserve to be seen as your transAge always and forever

however people deserve to know that being with you is a legal risk. they deserve to consent to the possibility of their entire life being permanently destroyed if the wrong person catches wind of what's happening. yes permanently destroyed. this is not hyperbole it's reality

I know it sucks. I know I am asking you to expose yourself to potential ageism. I know you are the age you tell me you are. but the law does not. and it's incredibly selfish to hide that from someone in risky situations, even if it's just an unfair situation all around

I have a bunch of active side blogs, so I'm making this as a more brief entry point for anyone checking out who I am from notifs & doesn't need to see my entire blog intro (it's like 30 paragraphs lol)

this main blog is sfw, but some young or traumatized minds can find it too heavy or triggering from politically charged posts, vents about mental health and other controversial content. I try and tag heavier things to give folks more agency over their feed but I'd still exercise caution if you're only here from a sideblog

blogs:

@persyplayhouse - sfw regressor blog (nsft dni)

@cocoabuttergamma - omegaverse/misceverse lifestyle + therian blog

@craftbin - profile graphics hoard

@ruttingromper - deeply nsft kink, fetish & paraphilia blog (mature audience only)

apparentlyaperson (blog info post/about me)

where I stand: (heavier topics mentioned below)