May 29, 2021
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Useful tips for every newbie bloggers!
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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my momās boyfriend.
I donāt know much about him. Iāve heard from my siblings that he is very kind, sweet, and soft-spoken. He lives up in Illinois which is really far from where my mom lives. He will take trips down to visit my family and right now she is taking a trip to go and visit him. I grew up with only having a mom/one parent, which is not my momās fault at all, and the idea of her marrying someone freaks me out a bit. I donāt want her to be lonely and if she wants to be with someone, Iām fine with that, I think that I am mostly afraid that I wonāt be able to connect with whoever she decides to live the rest of her life with. I think I am also afraid that whoever she marries one day (if she ends up marrying someone) that sheāll love them more than she loves me. That may seem ridiculous and also despite the fact that my mom and I donāt have the best relationship I still care aboutĀ āhow muchā she loves me... I guess.
I wish that I would feel more accepted when I went to their house, I just feel like the ugly duckling. I try not to feel that way around them but I think it is because we have spent so much time away from each other that we arenāt used to each othersĀ āvibesā (I guess thatās what you would call it) anymore.
I am hopefully going to be able to spend a couple of days with one of my sisters while the rest of my family are out on trips or at camp. I have two sisters and two brothers, but more recently I only talk to one of them consistently and it goes pretty well most of the time. During the time that I am there my mom will be visiting her boyfriend again for a while, I hope that it works out because I donāt know how many more relationships my mom is going to try to put herself through.Ā
I love my family but I just think that their love for me is complicated.Ā
Anyways I got kinda off the topic of my momās boyfriend for a while, but thatās all I have to say for now... okay bye.Ā
I'm getting reeeeeaal tired of this bone pain in my hips. I'm certain it's from my medicine, but I'm having a hard time finding anyone else online reporting this symptom, so it makes me worried about the long term consequences. I also don't want to finish my round of meds early, but I feel like that's what needs to happen. :(
It is rainy today...
It is rainy today. It feels cool and crisp. I love days like today. I took advantage of it and decided to take a walk. It was lightly sprinkling while I was out, but it didnāt bother me, I enjoyed it while I listened to calming music.Ā
I love days like these! <3
I had some really great appointments today! I saw my new ENT and we talked about septoplasty and turbinate reduction, so I'm going to get surgery after all. I mentioned possibly having Ehlers Danlos and she was actually familiar with it! She was really nice and she gave me a hug before I left. Then I saw her dad, my sleep doctor since forever (because of course he'd refer me to his daughter haha), and I updated him on possibly having EDS and the plan for expanding my maxilla. I also told him about the tachycardia I've been having for years and how I suspect it's POTS, so he measured my pulse and my blood pressure and then abruptly left the room--something I've never had happen during an appointment. My heart rate was 108 bpm, which is pretty normal for me when I'm sitting. At one point, my doctor muttered, "You poor girl," and he asked why no one had ever done anything about it before. He prescribed propanolol and is switching me from adderall to provigil, and then he'll check up on me after two weeks. I'm really excited because I think being on a beta blocker and making my upper airway bigger will help a lot with my sleep problems. Next up is the neurologist. I was scheduled to meet him tomorrow, but I pushed it back because of ACen. Honestly, I don't really have any immediate concerns about my brain so I'm not too concerned; it's more of a formality to get a workup and rule out my old epilepsy diagnosis and monitor my headaches while I'm on absorica.
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I'm on my way to the Rush Medical Center in Chicago to be evaluated for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome!!!
This isn't a hypermobility thing but it's another sign of EDS or Marfan Syndrome: being able to wrap your pinky and thumb around your wrist and have them overlap.
Okay this is a really weird one and I feel really gross posting it.... but this is one of my most obvious examples of hypermobility in my temperomandibular joints. I don't know how many fingers the normal range is, but the answer is NOT five. My dentist/TMJ guy had me open and close my mouth over and over and over and over, staring VERY intently and leaning in really close. That's when I officially realized there's something definitely abnormal about my body. It doesn't hurt now, but it will probably be painful later in life and could turn into arthritis if I'm not careful, so I'm really not supposed to do this.