Top Posts Tagged with #personal-scribbles | Tumlook

I'm a vampire.

I feed on the essence of you.

I cradle you just enough to spill your guts, to trust me, to believe I’m special, that I’m truly seeing you. And I do see you.

I examine you detail by detail, dissecting your emotions, stories, and hidden motives to assemble a clinical portrait of how your machinery works. I let go once I know you, once I’ve determined you’re neither a threat nor a vein I can mine for more, more, more to feel alive.

But rarely does anyone hold my interest beyond the first taste. More than anything, I want you to surprise me, to come alive. Instead, only the unsatisfiable hunger remains. So I discard you like a used glove and move on to the next subject, to feed my curiosity.

I search endlessly. Every conversation feels hollow.

#personal #personal-scribbles

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True Romance

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I'd do anything for you baby, just please come back to me and love me right.

#personal #personal-scribbles

Twenty-two days.

Another sleepless night, tearing up at the thought of you. I'm in so much pain and so conflicted inside. All I want is to crawl back and beg on my knees. I'll be anything you want, I'll give up everything for as long as I can be with you. Just love me back, please. In all honesty I think you'd kindly reject me. Because you're likely in a better state of mind, you might even have already found a new shiny toy to occupy your dreams and desires. The space I used to fill. At the same time I'm completely clear on the fact that this equation will never work out - no matter how hard I try and make the square fit in the triangle hole. The harder I bang, the more the box breaks. You were not good to me a lot of the time. When there were better days, or good times you are the best thing I can imagine. Maybe I could have stuck it out for a little while longer - but what would be the end result? I'd be broken, and I'd never be able to build a family with you. You would be a terrible example to my children, who would not grow up in the warm, loving home that I want to give them. Part of me wants to show these scribbles to you, what if something would change if you just understood the depth of my love for you? I'm fooling myself, nothing would change - you already know, and it doesn't matter. But what if... never mind. I'm terrified that you might be the love of my life, I really hope someone else can top the good version of you so I can stop longing so. Despite all this, the heart wants what it wants and it's wrong. I know better, but I want it anyway - it's so painfully human.

#personal #personal-scribbles

Sixteen days.

I still think of you, and cry in the evenings. Did we run that deep or am I just fooling myself? I cared more than I realized, or maybe it’s some twisted kind of Stockholm syndrome. The more you hurt me, the more I catch myself wanting to fix it, to bend until I break just to keep you close for one more moment before you inevitably go. The next moment I'm strong, never want to hear from you again and ready to move on.

I can’t tell what’s genuine, if this is what real love is, or if it’s just my mind playing a sick joke on me. It’s been over two months and I’m still stuck swinging between feeling strong and crashing into weakness again.

#personal #personal-scribbles

Seven days. I’ve woken from a dream so long and vivid, it blurred the edges of reality. As though it never happened, we never met, we never knew each other. The memories are hazy, only fragments of the dream I can't quite hold onto.

The distance didn’t come all at once but grew gradually, day by day, little by little, until it became impossible to bridge. You could be countries away or right beside me, and I’d still feel the same aching longing, the same numbness. Conversations feel hollow. Nothing reaches me anymore, nothing surprises me.

If we ever found our way back to each other, it wouldn’t be the same. We’d be hardened by time, and the childlike hope and curiosity we once shared would be long gone. There’d be an empty space between us, where love once bloomed so effortlessly.

It would be like trying to return to the dream I’ve already woken from. No matter how vivid it once was, it’s gone and reaching for you now only reminds me of what I've lost.

I miss that version of you.

#personal #personal-scribbles

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Anya is LIVE right now

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I’ve written, published and deleted so many text posts lately, usually in the time span of 5 minutes.

#personal #personal-scribbles

I’m kinda starting to accept the fact that you can love who someone used to be to you, and despise the person that they are now. And that there is no shame in that, it’s just a bit sad.

#personal #personal-scribbles

Me and my ex cut all contact yesterday. It was without a doubt the right thing to do, but I’m kinda starting to feel lonely now, hm.

#personal #personal-scribbles

Top Posts Tagged with #personal-scribbles | Tumlook