#personal statements

My credentials: I graduated from a top-ranking London uni and mentored a lot of students in their application process over the past five years - all of whom went on to get offers from their first choice of unis. I've seen applications ranging from the downright brilliant to the abject fucking bullshit - this is to reassure you that in the moments you think your work is The Worst, always know that I have Seen Worse. You're fine. Keep going. It will come together.

Additionally, I am from Eastern Europe, and so were all my clients - be forewarned my advice might be coloured by this perspective.

Disclaimers: I mainly do Russel Group (UCL, Imperial, KCL, Warwick, Durham, Exeter etc.) and down. I'm quite confident in my expertise with these institutions. The two areas I'm less confident in are Scottish unis and Oxbridge.

Scottish unis are weird - since they don't have tuition fees, they get MASSIVE amounts of applications, and occasionally operate on weird, unofficial quota systems - your application may have a higher chance of slipping through the cracks.

Oxford and Cambridge, on the other hand, are pretentious bastards - in my five years of doing these applications, I have not yet worked out a reliable system of getting people admitted there. Their requirements are extremely malleable, and I feel it depends more on luck than the average application. With that said, most of what I'm about to say is applicable to them as well, just bear in mind the following:

Oxbridge have their deadlines considerably sooner than everyone else - October instead of January.

You will need to select a specific college to apply to, which will have an effect on your application. Do your homework, see what they're all about, and for the love of God, unless you're nobility or expecting a Nobel prize, don't apply to Trinity at Cambridge.

Their applications have a fuckton of extra steps, depending on which college and course you apply to. Extra work to do and more variables to account for, probably featuring an admissions interview as well. This also includes them requesting a transcript of your grades going a few years back, something that most institutions DON'T do.

Last but least, you can only apply to one instead of both. As I said, pretentious bastards.

PREP WORK

You're gonna have to do your homework, especially if you're from a country with very different admissions systems. Go on UCAS or the site you're handing your applications in through, check all steps, read the guides, know your requirements and deadlines. Preferably do this a few months (but at least a few weeks) before your application deadline. You'll need to secure a reference - ask a teacher you're close to and please, PLEASE, if they haven't written an UK reference before, supply them with guidelines on what to write. I have seen some extremely shite reference letters in my time, and while they weigh less than your personal statement (PS) will, it's always good to have a reference that doesn't suck.

WRITING THE DAMN THING

So, you've committed to applying to a kickass, high-ranking uni (or five. you can apply to up to five - you might as well increase your chances.) You've also done your prep work. Your application is mostly filled in, your reference is being written as we speak, you are aware that your PS will need to be 4000 characters (spaces included). You have a Word doc open, blank and white as fresh snow, and you're trying to figure out what to write. If you're like me (a shambling mess), this might be the point you feel confused, inadequate, and a bit like none of your achievement amount to nothing, or if they do, you're not sure how to put them to paper.

Not to worry though, that's why I'm here. Believe me, you're gonna figure it out.

Before we start brainstorming, I must impart on you a few vital pieces of advice on what NOT to write.

First of all, in your anguish in figuring out what to write, you have probably stumbled upon UCAS's general guideline on what to put in a personal statement. Unfortunately, you're going to do yourself a favour, and you're going to ignore it. The guideline isn't entirely useless, but there are a few parts that are dodgy/easy to misinterpret. More importantly, if you follow the guide to a tee, your PS is going to be incredibly generic, and that's not ideal. You're in the big leagues now, you'll need to write something that stands out. Mediocrity is a shortcut to getting binned at a record pace.

Furthermore, pretty pretty please, do NOT write overlong about just how AMAZING the course you're applying to is. Some bootlicking is unfortunately advisable and necessary, but remember, you're probably writing something that'll be seen by a range of institutions, not just one. More importantly, they already know they're awesome. What they want to know is why YOU are awesome, why YOU would be a good addition to their student roster. You're not selling the uni, you're selling yourself. Accept this in your heart.

Finally, for the love of God, DO NOT DISS YOURSELF IN YOUR APPLICATION. Optics matter, don't say things that actively make you seem less in the eye of whoever is reading your stuff. Don't say that you've only recently realised what you want to do, say you've been interested in various disciplines over your career. Don't say that you've hated maths, say why you've always loved the humanities. This is harder than it sounds, but please, bear this in mind all the time, always. I've seen PhD applicants that still struggle with this, and it tanks your odds if you don't pay attention to it. Also, if you do this, I will appear in your room at 3am and eat your keyboard. This is what we call Advanced Lying, get used to it. It will serve you well on the job market.

Back to the empty doc:

Kick it off with writing down a bunch of things that you have done over your academic career. What should you write down? Fucking EVERYTHING.

No really. Everything.

Have you done advanced classes in one specific subject? That goes in the doc.

Have you been part of organizing a camp for fellow students? That goes in the doc.

Have you done any kind of volunteering, mandatory or otherwise? That goes in the doc.

Have you tutored anyone over your time at school? That goes in the doc.

Have you participated in any kind of competition, athletic or academic? That goes in the doc.

Have you been learning a musical instrument for a few years? That goes in the doc.

Have you been learning to write computer code for funsies? That goes in the doc.

Have you participated in any kind of community organizing? That goes in the doc.

Have you done any (and I mean ANY) part-time jobs while at school? That. Goes. In. The. Doc.

Have you received any kind of award that’s tangentially related to your schoolwork? INTO THE DOC IT GOES I think you get the idea at this point.

Don’t worry about making it pretty, make this a list, this isn’t your PS yet. Try to focus on things that are unique to you – selling that you’ve been an organizer at a camp that’s unique to your school is easier than selling that you have like. Attended your classes. So did everyone else. Extracurriculars are especially good here, but be lax, feel free to add things that aren’t strictly related to your subject. Additionally, if you can, try to also include a list of things you’ve read that are related to your chosen course – if you’re doing social sciences, NOT Freakonomics, there were a few years where fucking everyone has read it. Everything else is free game though, with preference given to academic books and articles – let’s try to appear professional here, keep the magazine articles to a minimum.

Having done that, you should have a good number of points. Rank ‘em by how relevant they are to your course. Again, having read stuff takes precedence here – I’m harping so hard on this because very few people actually do this, so it’s a really easy way to stand out. Other facts to consider while ranking is impressiveness and uniqueness – having participated in an advanced extracurricular club for years lands better than ranking low in a national competition.

That said, obviously you’re not just your academic achievements – you’re going to be rounding everything out with fun extracurriculars you’ve done. Historic unis especially appreciate if you’ve done sports at a competitive level, but any and all non-academic extracurriculars help paint you as an Interesting Person worth admitting.

Also work out something for why you’re applying for this specific course and why you’re applying abroad. Re: the course, again, do NOT say you’re applying because the course is just so awesome you guys¸ they already fucking know that. You’re applying here because they’re relevant to your interests. Tell them WHY the course is relevant to your interests. As for why the chosen country, try to keep it as apolitical as possible. Academic neutrality is prized, and unfortunately a lot of institutions skew in their political bias, some to the right, some to the left, and you won’t always know how each uni skews in advance. Again, stay professional. This isn’t the document you’re going to trigger the revolution with – bear that in mind while writing the final product too. Discussing the multicultural, multidisciplinary environment always lands well.

Having finished all this, go stretch and get yourself a cookie. Congrats, you have created the barebones structure of your PS. For some serotonin, go find a PS length checker (there are a bunch online) and see how many characters you have. You should be somewhere in the ballpark of the necessary 4k.

If you’re under, don’t worry – this is just an outline. You’re gonna start using actual sentences now, and you’ll be hitting that 4k incredibly fast. You’ll soon be realising that 4k is an incredibly short character limit to have.

If you’re over, happy days, it’s only getting easier from here. You will have to do some judicious editing though – go through your ranking, and scrap items that are less relevant or less impressive. It’s always easier to edit things out than add them in later – maybe save the scraps in a separate document in case they become necessary.

FROM OUTLINE TO TEXT

This is the part where each and every PS will start to differ. One thing to bear in mind though: try to keep decent flow, and this will take some structural planning. It’s good to pick a narrative, and I am a slut for autobiographical, linear storytelling; it’s quite natural, lends itself easily to becoming unique, so it’s my catchall recommendation. Feel free to come up with your own stuff though, as long as it stays coherent. If you’re completely stumped, this is my go-to recommendation for structuring:

Introduction: who you are, what you’re applying for, teaser as to why you’re applying for your course.

Main body: in the aforementioned autobiographical, linear manner, create a story from the bits and pieces you’ve assembled during brainstorming. I prefer a PS that is “ascending” – start with the “lower-ranking” points, build towards the higher-ranking ones.

Brief summary of less relevant activities, to bring in the non-academic edge.

Conclusion, and summary of your reasons for applying to the UK.

Adapt, adjust and ignore according to your requirements.

Also be aware of the requirements of your format. Keep your grammar good, don’t waffle overlong (it wastes characters at an unprecedented pace, and remember, 4k is VERY SHORT). Furthermore, DO NOT USE CONTRACTIONS OR I WILL STEAL YOUR KIDNEY. It’s a weird academic requirement, but they’re very pushy on this – if you use contractions, it will make your work look sloppy. We do not use “don’t”, we write “do not”. We do not use “can’t”, we write “cannot”. See what I meant about 4k being short?

If you’re very stuck on how to describe one specific activity, unfortunately I must recommend the STAR method. This is a format designed mostly for cover letters, and corporate culture fetishizes it to no end and for that I hate it with a deep, abiding passion. However, it is an efficient way to describe stuff you’ve done. STAR stands for Situation – Task – Action – Result and should follow an approximate 10-10-70-10 ratio. Describe what situation you were in, what your task was, what steps you’ve taken to achieve that task and what the end result was.

A NOTE ON U.S UNIS

If you’re considering applying stateside and for some reason, you’re on this post – most of my advice is applicable there as well, but the Americans are, professionally speaking, fucking weeeiiiiird maaaaan. They’re very keen on storytelling, and if you apply there, most successful application essays I’ve read felt more like short stories than pieces of academic writing. Pay attention to this, and maybe ask your writer friend to give you some proofreading.

FINISHING TOUCHES

If you’ve completed all the steps till now, congrats again: you have written the first draft of your personal statement. The hard part is officially done. Depending on how much time you have until submission, you’re now going to workshop this. Check your length; if you’ve gone over, edit by cutting as much waffle as possible. If you’re under, use your remaining space to elaborate on your strongest points. Get someone whose feedback you trust to proofread your stuff and see if it’s convincing. If you’re on your many-eth proofread of your own work, use an old editing trick and change the font you’re using – it’ll trick your eyes a bit and make it easier for you to recognize any mistakes you may have. If possible, consult with your referee to make sure you don’t write too much redundant stuff; maybe ask them to include things in their reference that you’re not comfortable with adding or would land better coming from an authority figure. Otherwise proofread, edit, and workshop until you’re satisfied or until submission date arrives, whichever comes first.

With that, you’ve finished your personal statement. Prepare for any extra steps like interviews if necessary, let me know if you get a place offered so I can celebrate with you, and do your best to fulfil the requirements of your offers.

Also, if you make it to the UK and there is a Waitrose in the vicinity of your uni or your halls, get yourself a Waitrose card – they’ll give you a free coffee with any purchase each day, and if you’re anything like me (shambling mess, remember) it’s gonna save your life.

Shoot me an ask or a DM if you have any questions – I’m working fulltime now, but I’ll do my best to answer them. Otherwise, godspeed you beautiful bastards, and best of luck!