#personal experience post

When I was in my teens I totally fall in love for a guy and I spent several years in love with him even though we were not together. I got my heartbroken, sadness and all that jazz. You know how that is.

I was at a college class when I met this other guy, let’s call him A. After spending one hour talking to him, I developed a major crush on him (and it seems I caught his attention too). That was noticed by my friends and his, so they all play matchmakers. He was the only reason I ever skipped class, when he asked me to go grab a beer with him and his friend. (His friend magically disappeared 20 min after).

A and I never quite dated, not seriously. He had an ongoing fling with each other for several years. When I was not with someone else or he was not in a relationship, we would, you know, hook up. And when we were in relationships with other people, we would hang out with each other from time to time to catch up and nothing happened. He was my in-between relationships person and I was his. We even sought relationship advice with each other: he made me promise I would not get back together for the 3rd time with the other guy I mentioned cause it was a terrible idea and I would tease him mercilessly of his fear of commitment after the one year and a half mark in a relationship. 

He was not the love of my life, yet I treasure what I had with him very much. He was nice, supportive, loving, he put up with a lot of my shit and gave me tremendous life advice. Not to mention, that guy could kiss. For real. We never lied to each other, we never pretended to be what we were not. And we had some of the best dates I’ve ever had and some of the most meaningful conversations.

It’s been almost 15 years. I’m married and I have a kid. He’s married and lives overseas. Yet, we still chat over facebook and he comes to dinner everytime he’s in the country. Why? Because we meant something to each other and it was a relationship that uplifted both of us, even if we were not endgame. And we became really great friends as an outcome.