#personal dreams

So, I was vacationing in a small, very charming isolated French village. I had a late dinner in some local bistro, it was way past midnight, maybe two or three am, I was walking back to my hotel/vacation home when I saw them, Jensen and Misha, they were there, sitting on a bench in a deserted little park and were kissing passionately with their eyes closed, they didn’t see me, so I slowly stepped back and hid behind a tree, they kept on kissing and were in their own world not caring about anything else, I had my mobile in hand, I hesitated between taking photos or videos, then I decided that I won’t take either.

I had the ultimate Cockles proof right in front of me but i chose to not take it, not even to keep it for myself, not even as a proof that it wasn’t a dream, I felt that I had to protect them even from myself, from a moment I would be challenged by someone to show my evidence and that I couldn’t resist.

So I decided against any kind of proof, and left them alone, with a big smile in my face, but I had in mind that I would tell some friends tough, the first one being @castiel-left-his-mark-on-me , and let them decide whether to believe me or not....

I don’t know if I’m lucky or cursed to keep making these kind of dreams, because seeing Deancas and Jenmish kissing is so wonderful I can’t describe it with words, but waking up after that and realizing it was just a dream is extremely upsetting.

I also don’t know if I’m a deeply good person or just plain stupid for choosing not to keep any proof. I’ll let you decide.

Point is, he kept at it and he worked hard for all of his dreams.

I had always thought of myself as a dreamer. But reading about how hard he's worked towards his dreams made me realize that I'm not a dreamer. I'm a wisher. I always thought I was a hard worker. But reading this book.. I've never worked nearly as hard as he did for his dreams. I feel like I've never worked for anything in my whole dang life now (I'm in my late 20's).

I've always wished I was an author, or a comic book artist, or a graphic designer. But I don't just want to wish it, I want to dream it.

1: Complete (or at least begin) my medical transition within the next few years

2: Begin my career, forming an animation studio with a team of like-minded creatives

3: Build up the small studio into a large one, creating multiple anime-inspired films and series, both adaptations and original projects (including parts of the MephistoVerse)

4: Branch out into creating graphic novels as well as animated films/series

5: At some point, meet my romantic soulmate, get married and raise a menagerie of pets together

Own a condo

Paint a mural on my bedroom wall and have door knobs like the Great Gatsby

Have a beautiful garden/balcony with a fountain that I can drink tea in.

Get in shape so I can dress like a wizard

Get married to someone I adore and grow up together to be old people in love

Slow dance with a boy I like to a country song

Have someone give me flowers spontaneously.

Sponsor an exchange student

Travel and see all the art from my college text books in real life

Have dogs and other pets for the rest of my life without worrying how I’m going to take care of them

Have a job that lets me have a life and treats me decently.

Build or become part of a community of people who let me love them and return that

I'm walking with a friend in an old industrial area of a city, and they point to a dirty building with no windows and tell me that's the house where the future lives. Sometimes it whispers things to her, and tells her how cool it is to her.

I answer that I think it's lame, that it's probably garbage because the outside of the house is dirty and rusted. It's probably just trying to lure her inside. I point out to another house, which is also rusty and garbage, but it has windows, so I say "This one is also shit, but at least I know what's inside, and it's just empty."