DILF NOEL HEADCANNONS
an: based off a request for dilf noel headcannons esp w his belly hope you enjoy these!! Btw I was picturing like a younger fem!reader hope this is what the request wanted
wc: around 3k
cw: implied age gap, brief mention of sex but no smut, mentions of drinking from both noel and reader, mentions of being drunk, mentions of arguments, mentions of weight gain (not very serious tho), sort of angst if you squint
-After Noel's divorce with Sara, he thought he would never love again. the idea of "true love" was something he viewed as childish and naive and he only associated with his adolescence which was spent listening to the Smiths and yearning over the girls in magazines that he "loved" (or really just liked to tug one out to) so when he found you, sweet, citrus flavoured lipgloss, vintage big 60s sunglasses, hair effortlessly swaying in the wind whilst soft music pumped to your ears and that sweet innocent laugh that echoed from your glossy pink lips, he was floored
-at first he tried to shake the feeling, telling himself to "get a grip Noel, for god sake" like he did when he used to think about slipping a note under liam's door during arguments asking how they would go on as brothers and how he could make it up to him. he pondered on how to get over this childish sensation and decided a full reboot was required. lazy mornings in spent dreaming about your soft skin were replaced by an early morning cycle whilst the sky was still a milky pinky-purple complexion and no one in their right mind was up on the streets of London. a club sandwich shared with you whilst a string of profanities left his mouth at the sauce that had dropped onto his new polo shirt were replaced by clean, healthy meals like salads and white meats that made him long for the sweet taste of your perfume however his efforts were useless as he couldn't rid himself of the heart-pumping, stammering, cheek flushing drug coursing through his veins that was you
-you were his personal assistant, a role you took very seriously. Noel delighted at the sight of your painted nails scoring over the details scribbled down in your paper diary (an old school habit, you knew, but you just couldn't hack having it all on your phone and Noel appreciated your use of a physical book and real life handwriting, it also meant he could sneak peaks at all the cute little things you'd written) it contained meticulous details only someone who had spent a lot of time around noel would've noticed. for example: "April 9th- day before first gig, noel will be nervous but won't admit it, bring chocolate digestives and make constant cups of tea, only yorkshire allowed!" or "May 29th- Noely G's 50th!!! he won't bring it up, make chocolate cake and give him his present after morning meetings to ensure good reception to aforementioned present." Noel struggled to be away from you when you were at work. you'd sit at your desk clicking through emails and chewing your perfectly pink lips as Noel would sidle up to you, thick fingers tapping out a rhythm on the desk surface until you flicked your wide doe-eyes up and asked if he needed anything. it absolutely floored him. he delighted in discovering every detail about you and committing them to memory to surprise you with them in later conversation. "hey sweetheart, hows your little dog gus?"
"You remember me telling you about him!?" you would always gush about his excellent memory
"course how could i forget the little fella?"
-around the office, where ever you were, noel was too. he obviously wasn't subtle about it, with subtlety not being his strong suit. if he heard anyone around the office bad mouthing you or their relationship, he skipped HR and sent them straight to his office to be heavily reprimanded which usually ended up turning into a monologue about what an asset you were and how dare they question your competence? people soon learnt not to question whatever you and noel had going on
-despite being a hard faced rockstar, his façade completely melted when around you. he would sit, head resting on his hands like a lovesick teenager, listening to you talk animatedly about whatever interested you that week. a mistake that would get an average, overly cocky, defiant male roadie a strong warning or possibly fired, it never seemed to end that way for you. after accidentally packing the wrong guitar on tour, you sat weeping in the break room. when noel found you, his heart stopped. anger flared in his chest as he wondered who had made you feel like this. he quietly ushered you into his luxurious office to plonk you down on some leather sofas and speaking to you in the gentlest voice he could manage to try and coax the problem out of you. when you managed to stammer out the story of what you had done and the manager that had screamed at you for it telling you that you'd "for sure be fired for a mistake like this" and how you had to excuse yourself to try and calm down, noel's face hardened. how could anyone be so cruel to possibly the sweetest little angel he had ever met. once noel had fed you enough vodka cranberries from his personal office stash to help you calm down and relax a little, the evil manager was promptly fired and noel stroked your hair assuring you that if anyone ever spoke to you like that again you were to report to him immediately. "shh now my pretty one, what're all those tears for, hmm? too gorgeous to be cryin' like that over a fuckwit like 'im. doesn't know what he's talkin' bout. would never fire my girl, keep drinkin' that, t'll make ya feel better" you were too drunk to question the inappropriate and intimate nature of the kisses planted on your cheeks and hair and that way in which he pulled you closer
-after weeks and weeks of relentless yearning, noel decided, midway though some cushy celebrity event with far too much champagne, to be a man admit his feelings, but not before a bit of dutch courage first. he downed the amber liquid, shot glass after shot glass. he winced at the burning sensation before he stopped being able to feel it. when he realised the state he had got himself into, he considered ringing you to come pick him up, something that you'd offered to do and done on many of noel's drunken nights out. however he drunkenly concluded that this would ruin the macho, manly, boyfriend-confessing-his-love to-adoring-girlfriend look that he was going for. you were woken from your shallow sleep by the sound of clunking boots moving unevenly down the corridor outside your room. then suddenly some uncoordinated knocks sounded at your door. "princessss? s'me! your favourite! lemme in" the normally measured, even-toned voice of your boss was slurred in a giddy giggle. You peeled open the door to a sight you never thought you'd see. noel lent heavily against your doorframe with a lopsided grin splashed across his face. his jolly cheeks were flushed pink and his eyes glazed over. he looked relaxed in a way you'd never seen him before. his eyes traced over your silk pajama clad form with an expression between fascination and lust. "jus came t'talk t'me girl" he slurred before leering forward with all his weight (and it was quite a lot of weight bless his heart). you had no other choice but to outstretch your arms and try and stop this unstoppable force. predictably you both staggered: you backwards and noel forwards, as you landed with an oomph on your stripy bed sheets. Noel was determined to continue his spiel however. he wriggled up so both your faces were aligned. Yours was underneath looking perplexed, and his on waggling his heavy eyebrows. "what i was tryna say m'darlin was.." he dropped his seemingly very heavy head into your hair that was splayed out on the duvet and took a large inhale of your shampoo. "i've fucking loved ya since i set my beady old man eyes on ya, can't go on with this tour without tellin' ya. please make an old man 'appy and say ya feel the same?" he looked at you hopefully but winced at your sorry expression.
"mr gallagher-" you started, with which he interupted
"noel." you blinked hard and apologised before continuing
"noel..i think you may have had a bit much to drink-" this was met with childish whines of protest. "but! but but but, you could sleep here tonight and maybe we'll talk over this in the morning?" noel seemed less reluctant about that idea and immediately began to snuggle under the covers, grinning like an idiot. when the cold, refreshing light of morning broke the man from his sleep, he was met with the sight of your angelic form holding a tray over him which was scattered with a greasy breakfast, various pills and tablets, and any other known hangover remedies you could think of. you gently asked him if he remembered any of last night to which he replied with a groan that he did. however all hope was not lost for the middle gallagher child as you carefully leaned into his ear to whisper that - if he really meant it - you felt the same way. the man started at that, before reaching up to pull you into an embrace which turned out to be a kiss-based attack from the older man. large smiles of relief were plastered over both your faces as you spent the rest of the morning tangled in the sheets
-noel grew even more fiercely protective around you in the office as your relationship became public. and paparazzi photos of the two of you were quickly stamped out and shut down by his status. god forbid he ever got wind of you working too hard. if you ever let out a quiet yawn at your desk, which had since been moved into his office, he would slam his pen down and reach over to scoop you into his lap. gently stroking your hair and quietly chastising you for "working yeself to the bone" and demanding you take a nap right now. at an awards show, after his baby blues scanned the crowd for what seemed like the millionth time and were still unable to find you, when he was told you had a fever from exhaustion and were cooped up at home. he exploded demanding why no body had told him and promptly stormed out refusing to accept his now unimportant awards. when he let himself into your flat his heart sunk at the dismal feel to it all. where you'd usually be sat cosily reading or watching something or playing some music was now empty. he tiptoed along the corridor to where he could hear your soft sniffles and whines which stopped abruptly when the door creaked open. you blearily raised your heavy head 'till your eyes met the soft blue ones of you boyfriend. "when were ya plannin' on tellin' me ya were on yer deathbed?" noel growled, tone low and dangerous. he was normally very light hearted and had a dry sense of humour and was incredibly witty, however he didn't mess about when it came to his girl and her wellbeing. "apparently you told marcus not to tell me you were off sick. some bollocks about me enjoying my night. sound familiar peach?"
you chewed your lip nervously suddenly regretting your decision to tell your manager to keep your time off a secret. "hi noelly, it was just that... i didnt want cha t'worry about me because i feel poorly and my nose is all blocked and im soo cold and- noelly will y'come here?" his anger melted away instantly at the thought of his precious girl in so much pain still worrying about him having fun when in reality there was no way he could ever enjoy himself without her.
"that was a very silly thing to do i 'ope ya realise... jesus love yer burnin' up!" noel spent the next few days dutifully caring for you despite your protest. whilst he admits that it was incredibly distressing to see you so weak, he couldn't help but swoon at your little red nose and the constant cries of "noelly" when you needed something but were embarrassed to ask. after that he made you promise to never hide being ill from him again.
-other than the occasional row over stolen biscuits, your relationship was incredibly smooth sailing, due to both your deep love and adoration for each other. you both couldn't help but find the insecurities of the other one gorgeous. for noel, he swooned at you no matter what you looked like. he was always clumsily taking pictures of you in the morning all groggy with your hair a mess, waking you up with the loud clatter of his iphone camera shutter clicking. despite your protests he insisted you looked jaw-droppingly gorgeous. you always giggled at the memory of waking up to find a little red spot on your cheek which you got to know about before you even looked in the mirror as noel was already cooing at how adorable it was before you'd even woken up. for you it was that glowing post sex cuddle, where you'd sheepishly waddle into the living room, legs still a little achy from his huge coke-can-like girth to find him all soft and drowsy in a thin cotton t-shirt with his gorgeous plump belly peaking out underneath. of course you had started dating him in his 50's during a time where he had flexed his 28" waisted levi jeans and spoke about how all he had to do was "not become a little fat man" because that would seal his fate as a total hasbeen. but, throughout the relation ship you'd longed for more of him to love and when he complained after years of home baking every day and meals made with perhaps a little too much butter and carbs, that he was getting a little fat, you're all-too-chirpy response of "really baby? lemme see" made it clear that this was your ideal outcome all along. when the live '25 tour was approaching, a fully fledged belly had formed. he groaned at the sight of it peaking out under his button shirts but it made your knees weak. the tiny sliver of pale irish skin you were normally allowed had expanded, spilling slightly over his black jeans. to you this could only be a plus. especially now as you waddled towards him wincing at the post-sex ache, to the sight of him in his soft navy t shirt and faded joggers with that gorgeous bulge of pudge that made your knees buckle. you clambered onto his sleepy form to a groan of "oh here she goes again" as you pressed little kisses to the soft mound whilst nuzzling your nose into his belly button. "dunno what you see in it love, just a big ball of fat" you firmly denied this claim and continued to cuddle into it the same way a cat would nudge their head against something. eventually noel's protests died out as he accepted the love and adoration you had for his "spare tyre"
-because of your positive, self-assured, focused and hard-working personality, proven by your many qualifications and success in the industry, no one would've expected you to accept "princess treatment" or as you liked to call it "baby treatment" from noel, despite him having an almost bursting bank-account, and the power to give you everything you ever dreamed of. however, occasionally you were obliged to accept the odd spontaneous gift from your boyfriend although you didn't go down without putting up a fight!
march 14th 4:00pm
Noel
ÂŁ700 apple payment
accept it darling
You
Noel!
absolutely not! you've already
payed me this month for work
Noel
fucking nonsense
i heard u on the phone earlier complaining about how u couldn't afford this dress u wanted and i wont have my girl going without.
end of
april 7th 7:00pm
Noel
oi
where are u?
come home
ur working too hard again
Marcus told me u sorted out the problem abt the drumkits and u directed the children's choir for the backing vocals on that track
good girl
come home i've got ur reward
that new place u wanted to try
You
oh noelly u shldnt have!
it really wasn't hard at all the
children were so sweet and
the drumkit delivery man
was very helpful
Noel
quit talking rubbish and get home and relax
do u want me to send a driver?
You
love u sm noelly xxx
-whilst noel can struggle being affectionate in person he never leaves his girl wondering about his feelings. after more divorces than anyone should have, he makes a conscious effort to be incredibly loving and clear about his emotions and you find this incredibly endearing. he displayed his emotions in messages written on the mirror in lipstick and a random bouquet of flowers on your desk, of course he knows your favourite kind and colour. he knows you inside and out probably better than you know yourself, he'll warn you carefully that a week of incredibly healthy, too restrictive meal planning might just result in you ordering takeaway for a week, and that if you stay up chatting to him on facetime whilst he's away on tour, you won't be in a good mood to meet with your friend for brunch the next morning. whilst he could be incredibly sensible he could also be such a good laugh. you two have countless stories of staggering completely legless down the night times streets of manchester giggling and snogging.
-noel could be a little protective of you especially around men your age and didn't like you drinking or smoking weed when he wasn't there. admittedly there had been a few occasions where you'd taken it a little too far relishing in his anxiety for you. one night after a particularly annoying row, you demanding freedom, noel wanting to protect you, you'd stormed off into the night with the intention of getting shit faced. you ended up in some smokey club with your friends on a sticky leather sofa. some sleezy guy with poignant aftershave was leaning just a little too close when the music stopped. you heard the furious mancunian shouting of your boyfriend as he demanded to know your whereabouts. fuck. you'd forgotten he had you on a tracking app and had probably been hot on your tail all through your night out in manchester. when he spotted you leaning away from the persistent guy he snapped. screaming about what he was gonna do to the guy whilst storming towards you. to your surprise, he wasn't angry with you that night, only scooping you up and sending your friends a sideways glare before gently placing you in the backseat and ordering his driver to take you two back to the flat. once you were home, noel properly surveyed the state you were in. your hair clung to your forehead as you swayed on the spot in your heels, your face was flushed deep red and your eyes were distant and red rimmed. he cursed himself for not getting their sooner and, with the sort of care you might treat a new born baby, gingerly removed your shoes and peeled off your dress before plopping you in the bath. he cooed at your burning forehead whilst tenderly washing your hair. when you woke in the morning you opened your eyes to noel's serious expression, his smile lines were deep ravines in his face that only emphasised how much he wasn't smiling right now. his once joyous chubby cheeks now frowned at you. you couldn't help it, you'd always been sensitive and the sight made you burst into tears. noel's composure cracked and he held your head against the warmth of his belly for hours as you murmured out apologies and he shushed you assuring you not to worry. that was the last time you ever left after a row without talking it through first, and also the last night out you had where you didn't get constant texts from noel trying to asses how drunk you were and whether you needed picking up.
an: whew that has been sitting in my drafts for a whileeee, i hope u enjoy and thanks anon who sent me this request this is soooo cute. maybe dilf liam ones when i can be arsed and finish my other requests? remember to like/comment if u enjoyed + wanna see more. im an amateur writer and very open to criticism but pls be nice to me because im really just a little bunny and i can do no wrong
