Mi manchi.Chiudo gli occhi e respiro.
Riparto. Dall'inizio, da dove ti ho conosciuta. Dal luogo che amavi e che odiavi, dai banchi di scuola e dalle scrivanie. Dalla tua voce, dal tuo taglio di capelli e dal tuo profumo sul collo. Dalle tue risate isteriche con gli occhi che ti brillavano e dal tuo sorriso nascosto. Dalle tua labbra, dai tuoi musini e dalle tue stupide paure su cui ci ridevi su. Dal tuo fuggire e schivarmi, dalle tue guance rosse e dal tuo imbarazzarti. Riparto dall'inizio, dal primo giorno. Dalla prima canzone e dal primo timido "ciao".Dal primo gesto folle, dalla prima lettera, dal primo messaggio e dal primo sguardo. Dai raggi di sole sui tuoi capelli e dai quei dannati mezzi sorrisi. Riparto dalle onde del mare tra i piedi e dal profumo di alghe la sera.
Riparto dalle carezze, dalle tue mani tra i capelli e dai baci sulle orecchie. Dagli abbracci, dai baci inattesi contro il muro, e dal sesso intenso. Dai morsi, dalle tue urla e dal tuo odore che mi lasciavi addosso. Riparto da quell'istante in cui la mia vita cominciava a cambiare ma io non lo sapevo.
Ti sento qui con me ma non posso ancora abbracciarti. Posso solo accontentarmi delle lacrime che mi accarezzano il viso. Quest'attesa infinita di rivederti non diminuirà ma sappi che, quando questo incubo sarà finito, non ci sarà tempo per le parole, per i vestiti e per il cellulare. Il respiro te lo toglieranno i miei abbracci, i miei baci, le mie mani e il mio corpo. Sarà tutto così intenso che staremo tutto il tempo a letto a fare l'amore, ad abbracciarci, a guardarci e a ridere. Non sapremo cosa dirci e non avremo voce per sovrastare il rumore del silenzio. Mi manchi e per ora ti rivivo, ad occhi chiusi, dall'inizio. A presto
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Ognuno di noi conduce due vite, e le vive contemporaneamente in due mondi e in due tempi diversi. Sono collegate tra di loro ma sono le nostre scelte a tenerle unite.
Quando i nostri occhi si chiudono, nel nostro mondo interiore ci svegliamo.
Parlo di un mondo perfetto. Proibito. Riservato. Inaccessibile. Un mondo fondato sui nostri sogni, creato da noi e per noi soltanto. Mentre il nostro corpo dorme e recupera le energie, noi stiamo volando sopra le nuvole, stiamo cantando sul palco e ballando sotto i riflettori del mondo o stiamo facendo l'amore con la persona che amiamo. Mentre dormiamo noi stiamo vivendo i nostri sogni. I nostri desideri. E siamo felici. Siamo sempre svegli. Non dormiamo mai in realtà.
Poi come per magia, dopo aver fatto il pieno di felicità, ci svegliamo nella tangibile realtà che spesso si mostra a noi estranea ed imperfetta. Per questo ho sempre creduto che il lusso più grande per un sognatore fosse quello di poter entrare, in punta dei piedi, nei sogni di una persona. La sensazione sarebbe quella di trovarsi in un grande cinema, da solo, a guardare a bocca aperta il suo più grande film d'amore della sua vita su uno schermo gigantesco.
Una persona che sogna non sta pensando.
Sta semplicemente vivendo senza alcun controllo.
Sta amando. Se stessa.
Fare l'amore non è soltanto un atto fisico. Per me è ciò che viene dopo, la parte in cui tutto si concretizza. La parte dove tutto diventa tangibile, dove ci si afferra, dove i vestiti si strappano e le fantasie più perverse prendono il sopravvento. La parte dove si raggiunge l'equilibrio termico più bello del mondo.
La magia, avviene prima. Da fermi. Vestiti. Senza parlare. Quella sensazione di impotenza e di paralisi talmente forte dove l'unico rumore è il nostro respiro sempre più lento e più pesante. I 40° di calore che percorrono il nostro corpo, i brividi e la pelle d'oca mentre scottiamo. I nostri sensi che non rispondono ai comandi e i nostri occhi che fanno un chiasso assurdo mentre si fissano. È lì la vera censura. È lì che siamo nudi davvero.
Che sia sesso o amore, guardatevi negli occhi. Lasciate che si esprimano, che si aggrovigliano e che le pupille si dilatano, perché quando lo fanno vi stanno aprendo totalmente le loro porte. Entrateci e fate l'amore.
Inspiegabilmente, quando amiamo, il nostro cuore assume un battito cardiaco più regolare. Molto più lento di quello a cui siamo abituati in condizioni normali. Lo decide da solo. Di punto in bianco e lo fa senza il nostro razionale consenso. Un piacevole fastidio quello di non poter controllare i suoi sbalzi d'umore. Il mio, quando amo (e io amo molto) sembra l'impronta sulle labbra del primo sorso di Barolo rosso, in pieno inverno, completamente nudo davanti un mare appena calmo con la luna che ti chiede di sposarla. Razionalmente lo capisco. Quale spirito migliore per poter leggere una poesia con le sue pause, le sue rime e capirne il significato? Siamo tutti poesia. Da sempre.
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My birthday was a few weeks ago and I have to say it was a great one. I got a ridiculous amount of presents from my family and my friends didn't skimp on gifts either. I wound up netting around $400 in cash and a good $150 in gift cards. I found this especially nice, as I'm not one to have a lot of excess money. When I do, however, I'm usually at a loss for how to spend it. After consulting my friends as to what would be the best course of action, I decided to purchase a Nintendo Wii.
I've never really been terribly interested in video games, but after playing a few rounds of Wii Sports at my friend's house, I was hooked. I spent a good four hours scouring the internet for the best deals (not that I didn't have money to spare at that point) when I found an eBay listing for a lightly used Nintendo Wii for only $100. The seller didn't list too many details as to the condition of the console, but he uploaded pictures and they looked well enough.
I was slightly hesitant to buy the Wii, as the seller was a new user and didn't have any feedback to go off of as far as his reliability, but I figured I'd give it a shot anyway. When the Wii arrived, I noticed something peculiar about the box. It seemed to have mold growing from the corners of it, causing it to reek to no end. I disregarded this. I was excited to play my new console! I hurried to hopen the box and hooked the system up. At first, I was unsure of what to do. When I turned on the Wii, there was a whole bunch of stuff left behind from the previous owner.
Boy, was I lucky! It turns out he had purchased a ton of Virtual Console games. At my disposal was Yoshi's Story, Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, Legend of Zelda, Super Mario World, and a bunch of other classics. I was in heaven. I played the games for a good six hours straight (I know, I have no life) until I got tired and went to bed. When I awoke the next morning, I decided to look through all the channels to see what else was there. Most of the channels I saw were Virtual Console games, up until the last page...which held just one icon.
It looked like there was some sort of problem with the icon, as it displayed a box full of static. Not to miss out on something interesting, I decided to start it to see what it was. When I clicked on it, I got a grey box that said "persevero" ("continue" in Latin) in red text. At the time, I had no idea what it meant, so I started it anyway.
I was taken to a menu with four symbols. Each symbol looked sort of menacing. I don't know why. They were just...unsettling. Once again, curiosity got the better of me, so I clicked on some. The first symbol I selected was a vertical line with a circle running through it underneath an X. I was taken to a virtual world very similar to my current location. It was as if the general layout of the city in the game was a carbon copy of the city I lived in. The game was unlike any I had played before, though. It was a first-person game, but there wasn't any objective that I could see. You started out in a house (remarkably similar to my own) and were free to roam around. I spent a good three hours exploring the virtual world, but stopped to see exactly how close this game world paralleled real life. It was remarkable - everything seemed the same.
After a couple more hours of exploring, I was booted back to the menu. The symbol I'd chose was missing, leaving only three more. I checked the clock and saw it was getting late, so I called it a night. The next morning, I was eager to see what else this "persevero" had in store, so I started it up. I was brought to the menu with three symbols, just as I'd left it. I selected a symbol of an upside-down cross with a triangle going from the arms to the bottom of it. The game I was taken to was essentially the same as yesterday's, but with people. They didn't have any discernable features and looked more like mannequins. I explored this for a while until the game booted me back to the menu.
I clicked the next symbol, a square inside a circle. The game I was taken to was off-putting. The world seemed drearier and the characters moved more sluggishly. Upon further exploration, I noticed random objects lying around that could be interacted with. Most of them were knives. I decided I would interact with one to see what it did. Of course, one of the options was to kill a few mannequin people. As sadistic as it sounds, it was entertaining. When you killed a person, they dropped to the ground and writhed around until they vanished.
It was oddly satisfying. After around twenty minutes of killing random NPCs, I was booted back to the menu again. By this time, it was getting late. I decided to get some sleep and get to the last symbol next time. The night went by relatively quickly and I awoke to a strange odor in my house. Assuming I'd forgotten to take out the trash, I continued with my morning and turned the game back on.
The last remaining symbol was an X. Just an X. I was taken to the same game world, but everything was tinted a dark red. I started with the knife in my hand, and I assumed I knew what had to be done. I ran around stabbing NPCs for what seemed like five hours before I was booted back to the menu. It was blank. I was disappointed at such a dull ending to what seemed to be such an interesting game. However, after five hours straight of playing a game, I was pretty tired. So I went to bed.
I had a pretty weird dream. I was alone in a black room, holding a knife, and another man came in. He had a gunshot wound on his forehead. He reached his hand out to me, but I stood, staring back at him, unmoving. In a very distorted voice (almost demon-like, in retrospect), he said "Congratulations, you are done now." Upon waking, I noticed the stench from earlier in the morning had gotten much stronger. I decided to spray some Febreeze and get some lunch. While eating, I checked my email. I'd gotten a message from the guy that sold me the Wii.
"Congratulations, you are done now. Sincerely, Arnold von Marshall." This creeped me out, seeing as those were the exact words from my dream. I shook it off as a coincidence - I'd left a review on his page and he was most likely responding to that - and continued on with my day. As I returned home, I noticed the stench once again. It was overbearing. I decided to take a look around to find out what was causing it.
I realized it was coming from the basement. Opening the door, I walked down the stairs and found a curious pile...of dead bodies. I was horrified, looking in absolute terror at the scene before me. Stab wounds. Hundreds of stab wounds. I turned to run back upstairs when I found a part of the box I'd gotten the Wii in. It had the return address. The name on it was Arnold von Marshall. I ran upstairs.
I was curious, so I went to my computer and searched the name up. As it turns out... Arnold von Marshall had killed 23 people in a small German town before killing himself. His obituary stated he died four months ago.
Just as I finished the last sentence, I heard a bang at the door.
He fallado más de 9.000 tiros en mi carrera. He perdido casi 300 partidos. 26 veces han confiado en mí para tomar el tiro que ganaba el partido y lo he fallado. He fracasado una y otra vez en mi vida y es por eso que tengo éxito”.
