perfectus
Part 1: and I know I said go slow
Pairing: wanda maximoff x black!fem!reader
Rating: M (language)
Wrd Cnt: 1.5k+ maybe?
Warnings/Tags: friends to lovers, angst, slow-ish burn, eventual smut
Part(s): 2,
Summary: You're determined to be in a committed relationship by Valentine's Day. So what if it's a capitalistic holiday that holds no real significance. In your 25 years of life, you've never had a Valentine and if you make it to 26 the same way, you might just jump out of a window. So, you and your best friend Wanda have 60 days to accomplish the impossible.
Little do you know, your Valentine has been right under your nose the entire time. And Wanda has a plan of her own. Sorta.
Notes: trying my little hand at a rom-com because I get to do whatever I want around here. here's the playlist for this fic. the title song is 365 by Katy Perry & Zedd. Translation done by Google translate of course.
Falling deeper than before. Say that you are ready, lock it up in a heartbeat.
How early was too early for stores to start prepping the shelves for Valentine's day? Christmas was still a week away. Certainly, you would have thought that would be too early.
But the Walgreens closest to your and Wanda's apartment had other ideas. They were shoving the teddy bears with hearts sewn to their paws right next to the teddy bears with santa hats sewn to their heads.
Even worse? They blended together seamlessly because everything was red!
You had crossed your arms and pouted severely as you recounted the blasphemy you had encountered (while trying to retrieve your daily vitamins and a bag of baked cheetos) to your best friend, Wanda Maximoff.
"Are you even listening, Wands?!" You shrieked something serious.
Wanda only peaked one of her eyes opened, "Yeah."
You flopped onto the couch heavily. You threw your feet to one end and laid your head in her lap, "Then what did I say?"
"You said that it was stupid to put the V-day stuff out so early but you only feel that way because it reminds you of how lonely you are."
You stared up at her, "That isn't what I said in the slightest."
"No, but it's what you meant."
You scrunched your nose up in offense, "I don't like you."
Wanda smiled softly, "Liar."
"You smell like smoke."
Wanda laughed out loud at that. She gestured for you to get off her lap so she could extradite herself from the couch, "That's what happens when you're a volunteer firefighter. Sometimes, you encounter fires."
Wanda stretched dubiously, as if to empathize her point. Her wife-pleaser raised above her midriff. You made it a point not to look. You had always been envious(?) of her body in a wierd homoerotic way that you rather not explore.
"Did you save everyone?"
Wanda walked over to the kitchen, probably in search of a Nutri-Grain bar, as was her routine.
"No one to save. Some teen thought it would be funny to light a match next to a newspaper stand."
You stretched your neck over the edge of the couch to see her. She was upside down in your vision, but you would make do.
"My brave bestie."
Wanda mumbled something that you couldn't hear.
"What was that?"
"I said it wasn't really about being brave. I could have thrown a cup of water on it and it would have been fine."
"Well, I still think you're brave. Even though you didn't run into a burning building today, doesn't mean you haven't before. And you're doing it for free? You're a hero in my book."
Wanda's cheeks reddened, "Thanks."
You hummed, "Where's Kaiser?"
"Who? Oh! I locked him in your room."
You gave a scandalized gasp and jumped up. You ran to your room, opening the door to the saddest puppy you have ever seen in your life.
You picked up the german shepherd and husky mix, cuddling him into your chest. You walked back into the livingroom with a scowl.
Wanda huffed, "What? He screams for you when you leave and I was trying to take a nap before I go to the bar."
"Your mommy is so mean, isn't she, my little kaiser roll?" You're 76% sure he nodded at you in confirmation.
"I'm not his mommy. He hates me! Despite having saved him from a tree. He's a dog, why was he in a tree!?"
"He's adventurous and he can smell your fear." You thought back to the day Wanda seemed to reluctantly come back home with a random puppy, despite not having left with one.
She told you that she had to boost Natasha into the tree during one of their shifts and in the process Natasha had stepped on her face to retrieve him. No one else could take him home and they didn't want to drop him off at a shelter because he was clearly not that smart. Wanda drew the short fire hose.
"He's the size of my shoe, I'm not scared of him."
"You're still a bad mom. Say sorry to our son."
Wanda turned to you with an incredulous look that quickly turned exasperated when she saw you were serious, "I'm sorry, Kaiser."
Kaiser gave her a look that was clearly meant to be perceived as triumph over Wanda.
"He said apology accepted."
Kaiser barked.
"No he didn't."
You placed Kaiser down on the floor and watched as he curled into a ball at your feet.
"Anyway, back to the problem I brought up earlier. I refuse to be without a Valentine next year. Tony is inevitably going to rent out your bar for a stupid little love day party and if I don't have a date I think I might explode."
Wanda returned to the livingroom. Kaiser nipped at her ankle when she got decidedly too close to you.
"Who cares if you have a date or not? You normally don't."
Your groan forced you deeper into the couch, "Exactly! All of our friends probably think I'm a loser and unlovable. And...and fuck, I just don't want to spend another year alone."
Wanda's brows furrowed, "You're not alone. You have me. And I know for a fact that you're not a loser and extremely lovable."
You pressed the palms of your hands into your eyes, "You're supposed to say that. You're my best friend. If you didn't think that the bestie police would like arrest you or something."
"That's not a real thing."
"Sure it is. And so is me needing to be boo'd up in the next 60 days." You crossed your arms over your chest.
"I'm still not understanding the rush-"
"Wanda, when was the last time I brought someone home?"
Wanda wished she didn't have to think so hard, "Oh! Three nights ago!"
"That was Pietro. And I definitely didn't fuck him. One, because he's gay, and two, because we were in here the whole night and you were with us!"
"Yeah...okay, last week?"
"That was Natasha." You deadpanned.
"The week before that?"
You rolled your eyes so hard Wanda feared she have to catch them when they fell out and rolled to the ground.
"That broad was here for you!"
Wanda sunk into the couch cushions, "Damn. It has been awhile."
"See?!"
"But that doesn't mean you need to fall over yourself to find someone by Valentine's day. Besides, we always do Galentine's instead. What about that?"
"Technically, I need to find someone before then because I want to be in a committed relationship by V-day. We can still do Galentine's with Nat and Carol. It'll just have to be earlier in the day." You said easily. You didn't notice the miffed expression Wanda was giving you.
"How are you going to even do any of this?"
You smiled brightly, turning to face Wanda, "With your help, of course! And probably Nat, Tony, Carol, and Sam's too. You guys will find me suitable dates. And we'll go from there. I'll even reactivate my Tinder account."
Wanda's frown deepened even further, "But you hate Tinder."
"That's how you know I'm serious about this."
Wanda watched as you frantically typed away on your phone. Informing your friends of your plans and setting up multiple online dating profiles.
"There's no talking you out of this, is there?"
You only shook your head with an infuriating smile.
"Fine. I'll ask around I guess."
"Yay! Thank you, Wands!" You threw yourself into Wanda for a hug. Wrapping your arms around her neck as much as you could.
Wanda patted your back.
"Youre welcome, Detka. At least this way I know they won't be the losers you normally have an affinity for."
You pulled away, "I do not have an 'affinity for losers'."
Wanda raised an eyebrow, "Which one of your exes has not been a loser?"
"Carly!"
"We were 16 when you dated Carly. She was definitely a loser."
"Jackson?"
Wanda's eyes widened, "Jackson tried to cheat on you. With me!"
You shrugged, more than over that by now, "Yeah, but he was so hot. And his dic-"
"Okay. You win. Moving on."
Kaiser hopped up onto your lap.
"Your mommy is so easy, Kai."
Wanda just scowled.
"And your dumbass agreed to that?"
Wanda huffed for the fourth time that evening.
This little coffee break with Natasha and Sam was not going well. She thought they'd be on her side when she explained the crazy episode you had the day before.
But instead, they were just staring at her like she had three heads. She wasn't the crazy one. You were!
"What do you mean? I had no choice. She volunteered me!"
Sam blinked. Once. Twice, "Did it not occur to you to just say 'No'?"
"Of course it did. But I couldn't!"
It was Natasha's turn to blink blankly, "And why not?"
"B-Because!"
Natasha and Sam shared a glance.
Natasha shook her head in astonishment, "Oh my God."
"What?" Wanda asked softly, thinking something was wrong.
"oH. My. GOd." Sam, for his part, looked just as confused as Wanda.
"What, Natasha?!"
"YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH Y/N!" Natasha exclaimed with a half shriek half laugh thing that caused her to choke. Sam patted her softly on the back while looking at Wanda in shock.
"Заткнись на хрен." Wanda said through gritted teeth, looking around the fire department's lounge like you would pop out from behind a light fixture at any second.
Sam pouted, "Hey, no Russian. Bucky still won't teach me anything. Not even the cuss words."
"She told me to 'shut the fuck up'. Which obviously means I'm right, Sammy boy."
Sam turned to Wanda, "Then why did you agree to this!?"
Wanda blew out a latte scented breath. The cat was out of the bag and there was no getting it back in. So, she might as well have leaned into it.
"Because she asked." Wanda shrugged.
"You simp. I'm so ashamed of you right now." Sam said with a shake of his head.
Wanda rolled her eyes, "When was the last time you said 'No' to Steve?"
"This isn't about me, Wanda."
"Anyway, so you're actually going to let her go on dates and potentially find a life partner even though you like her?" Natasha asked with a concerned grimace.
"Yes. As long as she's happy. If she liked me back she wouldn't always put me in second place."
Natasha shook her head, "That's not fair! You're always in second place because she doesn't even know you're in the damn race."
"And you're not going to tell her, are you?" Sam said with a soft, sad smile.
"No. I'm going to help her get ready for her dates with a big smile on my face. And if she finds the love her life. I'll be happy for her."
"Wanda?"
"Yes?"
"You looked like you were going to burst into sobs while saying that."
Wanda scratched at the side of her head, "Yeah. I'm-uh-still working on that."
Sam was silent for a moment, "Can we make a deal?"
"Depends?"
"If she still hasn't found a Valentine by February 13th, you ask her. And not in a 'besties gal pals BF4EVA' way. In a 'if you took off literally any peice of clothing even a sock I would have to change my pants' way."
Wanda dismissed her blush with a breathy chuckle, "Deal. But we all have to take this assignment seriously. I'm a last resort. No setting her up with losers."
Natasha and Sam both looked reluctant to shake hands on those terms, but they did anyway.
"Deal."
















