#perfecttiming

I don’t know if it’s the Universe toying with me but here it goes…

Today, a stranger followed me on Instagram, I have no idea who this person is so I went to the profile page. My eyes traced down to the ‘suggestions for you’ to see if we have any mutual friends but instead of seeing people I know I saw an IG account that surprised me, my ex’s. I don’t know why but my heart jumped. This was a guy I dated years ago, completely fallen head over heels in love with, crushed when we broke up, tried moving on for a year.

And here I am years later, dumbfounded staring at his IG account, a guy I thought Instagram was not his thing at all, with 20+ newly uploaded photos of his travels with less than 10 followers. There he was, that handsome smile in his profile photo. It is him. “Why did you want me to see this, Universe?” was the immediate question that popped in my head. I am in an amazing relationship with an amazing guy now so what is this for really? Before I knew it, I was having a conversation with the Universe. It was the Universe telling me that I’ve already moved on.

His profile and photos are beautifully curated for Instagram. The guy knows how to Instagram. Haha. While looking at the photos, I feel so happy not only for myself, but for him too. It’s funny when you thought you would never be able to move on from someone you love so much, when you thought you’ve done the best you could then bawl your eyes out after a failed Tinder date because you realise it’s still him, but at some unexpected circumstances, like with my experience today, you realise the closure you’ve been waiting for finally happened, you will realise that you’ve actually moved on. This guy and I never ended properly, not a proper conversation, a clear-cut breakup, it was something that just left unattended. For me, at least. That’s why I took it hard, was looking for answers, a much-needed closure, but what I realised today is there can be different kinds of closure – Seeing him fulfilling his dreams without me in it and myself being happy for that is closure.

Looking back at it now, on how much I’ve grown as a person, and on how naïve I was when we were together, I knew it was a relationship that’s meant to end. If we stayed together it’ll be a disaster, I wouldn’t be able to grow, I wouldn’t be able to realise my purpose, I wouldn’t see much of my capabilities, I wouldn’t be able to heal my deep-seated wounds, I wouldn’t be able to study counselling classes and eventually be a therapist/counsellor. Also, I wouldn’t be in a healthy relationship with my now boyfriend. See all of it wouldn’t happen if I stayed with my ex. My ex wouldn’t probably be enjoying travelling if he stayed with me back then. It just wouldn’t work.

I love my ex, he became a part of my life once and I am thankful for him because somehow he contributed to the person I am today. He taught me a lot about love and I am so grateful for that. Though painful, the breakup with him kick-started me to be a better version of myself, not only for myself, but also for my next partner. Had we not broken up I wouldn’t meet my boyfriend now so win-win situation, right? J

My main takeaways are these:

      Everything happens for a reason. If you’ve tried your best and the relationship still failed, just let it go. Something big and better is coming.

      Don’t force closure or moving on. It will happen when you least expect it.

      What’s meant for you will not pass by you. Just trust.

      If you’re going through a breakup right now and it feels like it’s the end of the world don’t worry. Feel your feelings. You will meet someone that will make you believe otherwise.

      No matter how many heartbreaks you’ve experienced. Keep on showing up carrying the lessons you’ve learned. Don’t let one or two breakup stop you from loving again.