#perfect advice

I have a drivers test today and I’m extremely anxious about it. I’ve already failed the test twice and I’m unsure if my heart (or permit) can take yet another failure. It’s just too much pressure!!

Do you have any advice to soothe my shaking heart, or perhaps some encouragement? Thank you in advance! 🩷

With love, your most sapphic fan xoxo

Goodness... I do hope I'm not too late here. As much as I know that I'm perfect, I still cannot help my NEET nature and sleep in late. 💤

Oh, my Most Sapphic Fan ♡♡ I am going to the edge of a beautiful cliff as we speak, spreading my arms out wide, and projecting my personal Karamatsu sparkles of luck headed your way to travel through the wind!! ✨✨

Do not think of your previous tries as failures. They are just teases that the road is giving you!! You two are playing a lascivious game of hard to get with one another. Enemies to lovers ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Each time you come back around to The Road, it asks you what you have learned by a most passionate battle that ensues with one another. Until... it happens then. You stop fighting. You kiss. 💙💙 You become one. You share the connection. You, at long last ,understand one another and now work as one, work as a team together. These previous battles was just the angst building up. Do not think of the vehicle and road being against you, for you are ultimate lovers in the end. Learn its love language, and you will conquer the world together ♡♡

And if so happens that the road continues to play hard to get today, you can walk away with a smirk, as Dr. Karamatsu has enlightened you to what is actually going on here. You can walk away grinning in knowing the love game that is being played now, and you will be thus know where to go from here: find the road's weaknesses and exploit them. Train your own blind spots that the road is using to try and fluster you. Throw it off guard next time and be the one on top!!

I believe in you, Most Sapphic Fan!! You are brave, strong, and ready for love with the road!!

Ah, this is extremely dire and you have come to the right person for advice!! What I'm about to tell you is 100% utterly flawless in its success rate to work!! ✨☑️☑️✨

These words, my words, will be your ultimate cure and ability to deal with this ailment that is weighing you down, my precious anon!!

It is a simple cure. It is simple advice. You cannot go wrong with it. ‧₊˚✩⋅☆₊˚⊹ It is as guaranteed as the changing of the seasons. ‧₊˚✩⋅☆₊˚⊹ It is as crucial as needing water to live. ‧₊˚✩⋅☆₊˚⊹ It is as undeniable as a flower's ability to grow when placed in the warmth of the sun.

And that advice is...

Is that you should instead date me ✨💙💙✨

ive been with my current boyfriend for almost nine months and he’s really pushing me to have kids one day with him! And like I feel totally safe with him most of the time, and I’ve never felt so secure in a relationship before<33

but unfortunately I’m heading off to uni in a couple months, and I want the “college experience” (if you know what I meann ;33) bc I want to try and be free of my small town shackles of no fun and freedom😔

I don’t want to cheat on him, but he’s been really pushing us to “have some alone time” even though I’m not super ready! He wants us to get married and have kids one day and I don’t know how to handle that, but at the same time, I feel like I’ll have no other options for a secure man</3

any advice, Karamatsu?

xoxo <33🐈

Well, would you look at that... I'm getting hugs and kisses from a Sweetheart Kitty!!

Hello, Sweetheart Kitty 💙💙🐈 I ran some tests based on your symptoms, and the diagnosis is clear!!

Oh goodness... that is severe!! Well, the good news is that it's curable. Sweetheart Kitty, I am a benevolent doctor!! So I want you to understand this disease and how it came about. Let me explain by going through your symptoms.

This might be difficult to hear, but you can sit on Dr. Karamatsu's lap while I define things for you ✨💙💙✨

The most striking symptom here is this:

I feel totally safe with him most of the time,

Non non, my Sweetheart Kitty!! You MUST feel safe with your relationships ALL the time. Not most of the time. But ALL.

You are deserving of happiness, respect, safety, and Dr. Karamatsu's caresses ✨💙💙✨

It only takes ONE TIME for you to get hurt, my darling. And as I tell all my Karamatsu fans, you are all diamonds that should not be scratched ✨💎✨

Please do not think I'm trying to make you feel scared. I'm trying to make you SEE that you are WORTHY of ULTIMATE LOVE in its PUREST FORM. 💙❤️♥️💓💗❤️‍🔥🩷🤎🩶🤍💜💕💖💞❣️💚🖤💛🧡💘💝🩵

Now... onto the next symptom that leads me to this diagnoses...

I’m heading off to uni in a couple months,

Did him pushing to have babies with you start around the time he realized that you are serious about going off to university, hmm?? There is usually a pattern the way this illness comes on.

I suspect he has been getting more and more pushy the closer your college departure date draws, correct??

To baby trap, is to have control over someone, Sweetheart Kitty. He knows with you being away at uni, that you WILL have the freedom that you DESERVE. He DOES NOT like the fact that he won't be able to know where you are or who you are with so easily.

To baby trap, is to keep you home with the baby, keeping you "in your place". When really, your place should be swooning FOR ME at the front row of my concerts ✨🎶🎶✨

He does not want children with you. He wants to control you.

but he’s been really pushing us to “have some alone time”

This sort of contradicts with what I just dissected, yes?? Ah... but it does not. This could either be him manipulating you, to make you think this *isn't* about control.

And/OR what he means by "alone time" is for HIM to have alone time. It is possible he is wanting to run around town, thinking like he has the charisma and sexiness that *I* do, spreading himself all about, while YOU are at home with the baby "alone" without him...

He wants us to get married and have kids one day and I don’t know how to handle that,

Darling... I think you already knew this diagnosis before you came to me. You are not ready to settle down yet. You are not ready to put your passionate, wild spirit into captivity!!

To get married and have babies... Heh... I am doing everything right now not to become Dr. Exclusivematsu... But if you get married and have children when you are not ready, do you think that is fair to BOTH you and the child??

I am sure I don't need to reiterate that I am a divine god, but for humans... they only get one life.

And they ask, what is the meaning of life??

The answer is easy. Me. Karamatsu Matsuno. I am the meaning of life ✨💙💙✨

But after that, the second meaning of life is to just have fun!! To have fun and be true to yourself!! That's it. That's all there is to it.

And finally...

I feel like I’ll have no other options for a secure man</3

A man, such as myself, needs to love you FOR YOU. Not for what you can give him.

The "option" for securing a partner is to just be yourself, who you are, to enjoy and love what you do, and someone who is compatible with you will willfully stay. You will complete each other.

Yes, there should be compromise in relationships... But it should not be at the cost of catastrophe!!

You're trying to compromise here by saying, "I am not ready to have children, but I should compromise and do it anyway since it means keeping my man..."

In this case, you are involving another person. The hypothetical baby. 👶🏻💦

When really, a compromise needs to be more like...

"I want to listen to Karamatsu's super awesome amazing song that is called 'When The Stars Embrace The Ocean's Call' and you want to listen to Karamatsu's super awesome amazing song that is called 'Traveling The Path Along A Red Rose To Find Your Heart' first... Ok... We'll listen to 'Traveling The Path Along A Red Rose To Find Your Heart' first but then we can put on 'When The Stars Embrace The Ocean's Call'!!"

So you see, my Sweetheart Kitten?? Let's point one more thing out, shall we??

ive been with my current boyfriend for almost nine months

What if "securing" a man is not about them?? What if it is YOU that has the ability to work a relationship, giving and receiving love?? The power is in YOU making this relationship last so long. So try not to fret about not being able to "secure a man" ever again if your current dude isn't willing to put some seriously thought, work, and effort into making THIS relationship work where he can respect who you are.

If not??

Well... you have the PERFECT GUY right here in front of you, baby.

I would NEVER pressure you into having children. I would encourage you to go experience life, escape your small town if that's what your soul is telling you that you need, dance across the universe, embrace new places, people, and adventures---all the while asking you to send me pictures of your beautiful smiling face so that I can see just how happy you are getting to be you. Because that would be the ultimate happiness for me

Heh. No way am I going to allow myself to be put in a situation where I may have to break a sweat that isn't the result of anything sensual. Looks like I'm escaping being in the Navy, the military and any sort of possible draft by failing the drug testing ✨💙💙✨

And you know? You can escape your local draft too if you hurry on over to any area where you can get some green (not talking about Choromatsu), and go through it along with a whole bag of chips the night before you have to get the drug test ✨✨

Sure, you might end up in prison, even if you are in an area where the green is legal, but it is a better alternative than having to go be forced to destroy some lives, take precious lives away, and possibly even lose your own precious life.

Think of being in the prison like going back to school, hmm? You'll know you'll be getting a meal everyday, too!!

And bars, walls, cages? Such confinement could never imprison the souring soul! A diamond is created and shines the brightest under pressure, don't forget! Let yourself dazzle ✨💎💎✨ It is better to end up in walls than the ground!!

I have not sent an anon in forever I hope youre doing well Karamatsu ✨️You're Blog makes me smile everytime I see it !!

-🧸

Oh!! My sweet, sweet, Honey Bear!! How I have missed you. Please, come into my arms and let me hold you. Let me lick the sweet honey that makes you glisten and sparkle. ✨🍯✨

Awh!? What's this?? You're having trouble producing that honey which makes you sparkle??

Oh no!!

Do not fret, Dr. Karamatsu is here for you again ✨💙💙✨

My sweet Honey Bear, it is normal to find the sparkles difficult to locate after going through something which makes you face your emotions.

But there is beauty in that, even if the situation is ugly. Because it is you. You are beauty. Your emotions are beauty. They are what make you up, and you are allowed to feel them. You are allowed to be you and the beautiful person that you are, despite some of those emotions weighing a lot.

I want to remind you of the diamond that we all are. A diamond. So stunning. So gorgeous. So valuable. So Karamatsu. Heh. ✨💎✨

And how does a diamond get formed?? Under pressure.

Right now, my love, you are in the process of forming another diamond. You are already one, but the life in you is always making more grow. ✨💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎✨

And once it does, that diamond will sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!!

When your honey is low, when the sparkles are in their infancy, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself like I would treat you ✨💙💙✨

Feel your feelings and do things that you know is capable of bringing a smile to your face: such as listening to my music, looking at my arousing pictures, reading my amazing posts, and writing poems about how much you love me.

You are doing so much for yourself right now by going through therapy. It is a lot!! And what does a sports team do after a big game?? They go out for pizza and ice cream~~

So where will you go out afterwards?? (With me, of course.)

I am so proud of you. Always.

Of course!! Do you not like yourself?? Do you not love yourself?? My heart weeps for you if you do not, my baby.

You should surely spend more time within my presence then, if that is the case. To not like your own posts?? To not like anything that you have done?? Such a thought is difficult for me to fathom!!

You would be able to learn a thing or two about self-love AND fashion if you watch me long enough.

So please...

Please do watch me, watch me, watch me~~ ✨✨✨✨✨✨

For me to be unnoticed is a true tragedy. Heh. Not only do I love all that I exude, but I understand it is a shame for others to be without such amazing Karamatsu energy within their lives. So a like to my own posts?? How smart it is of me!!

For tumblr will show, "liked by karamatsus-super-cool-advice" during a random time on your delicate dashboard. So in case you missed a flawless, divine posts when I first made it, there is a chance for it to be seen again ✨💙💙✨