#pennywisdom

I mean, if @nofx can have their own #craftbeer, why not @_pennywise?! #lostcoast #sessionipa #ipa #pennywise #pennywisdom #cabeer #beer #hops #punkrock #southbaypunk

Friday, new Pennywise, rage! @_pennywise #pennywise #pennywisdom #nevergonnadie #epitaphrecords #punk #sandiegopunk

No work tonight, MUSE can wait till tomorrow!!! #Pennywise at @hobanaheim!!! #Pennywisdom (at House of Blues Anaheim)

THE BOOK OF HONDO The Gospel According to Scoot (King James Perversion 2.0) ©2000-2002 Gods of Hondo (Bumbershoot Productions) Spooky Door Productions & Worldwide Trunks GUILTY PARTIES: “Scoot” Springer –Author Hans “Yoco” Williams –Co-Author “Dim” David Chambers –Co-Author Jason “Loki Amaya” Parrish –Co-Author Matt Kuka –God of Hondo/ Co-Author Derrick Miller –God of Odnoh Bree –The Goddess Count Chocula™ –God of Hondo “Mom” –Random Baked Goods Sir Richard Flammond –Illustrations DIRECTOR Oliver Closoff PRODUCER I P Freely SCREENPLAY Al Coholic Jacques Strap Bea O’Problem ORIGINAL SCORE Willie Makit & Betty Wont EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Fat Phuc & Seymour Butz ASSOCIATE PRODUCER Stu Pidass ART DIRECTION Wayne King PRODUCTION DESIGN Harry Baals ARTISTIC COORDINATOR Dick Bender SUPERVISING EDITORS Makollig Jezvahted & Levdaroum DeBahzted STORY 1000 Neon Monkeys Sitting at 1000 Typewriters for 1000 Years KEY LAYOUT Arheddis Varkenjaab & Aywellbe Fayed Gedda Hooker Hanlyn Cox Kim Suk Dong Maya Buttreeks Anita Bath Mike Rotch Dr Ho Amanda Bleau Ima Nidiot SPECIAL EFFECTS Harry Bonar Ima Hooker Mai Dixie Dr Hard Anil Dikshit Buster Hyman Phil McCrackin Mike Hunt Harry Peter Anne Thrax Harry Heinie Dick Stiffler Harry Dickensheets Ollie Tabooger PRODUCTION MANAGER Haywood Jablomie SCENE PLANNING SUPERVISOR Jack Miov CAMERA MANAGER Hugh G Rection CHARACTER DESIGN Ivana Tinkle Buster Cherry Ayah Seeyorcok Phil Menards Crystal Dyck Eda Bonar Phuc Duong Harry Woody I P Daily ANSWERS TO HONDO TRIVIA: 1) David and Heidi 2) the Thing with the Stuff 3) “Fishheads!” CASTING Clotho Lachesis & Atropos CAST (in no particular order) MATT KUKA as Lord Matt, God of Hondo DERRICK MILLER as Lord Derrick, God of Odnoh COUNT CHOCULA™ as himself, Honorary God of Hondo THE GODDESS as The Goddess DAVID CHAMBERS as the Demigod David HEIDI HINKLE as the Demigoddess Heidi SCOOT THE KO’AN as himself THE VOICES IN SCOOT’S HEAD as Nori The Cursing Faerie TRAMPUS CANASTER as Pope (I) Trampus Canaster HANS WILLIAMS as Brian Fritz Pud Yoco Peppy McBean Oreamnos Americanus Something Pookie Skanky-Bitch the Hans, Sacrificial Goat of Hondo CASEY ARNSMEYER as Pope (II) Casey Arnsmeyer and Beige Knight of Hondo JENNIFER as the High Priestess Jennifer MYLES ANTONOLI as Myles the Unbeliever ADRIA ANTONOLI as the Prophetess Adria MICHAEL ORTMAN as Dirty Uncle Orty, High Demon of Odnoh RYAN JUERS as RJ, Assistant God of Hondo A BOY NAMED BOBBY as Pope (III) Booby SOME GUY NAMED JOHN as BigFatJohn, Official Messenger of the Gods of Hondo RICHARD FLAMMOND as Sir Richard Flammond, Black Knight of Odnoh and Patron Saint of Ass-Whoopin’, New & Improved Angel of Death (in some Realities) JASON DAVID WILKIE PARRISH as Loki Amaya, Position Pending* BEN DOVER as Pippin the Bastard AYAH SEEYOUPEE as Ayatollah Asshollah FOKKE De KOK as Dr Färtnøkker DeeBRA STRAPP as the Stranger, a-k-a Narayana, the Goddess’ Hand LUIGI as himself SEAMAN GLASSCOCK as The Man DICK TRICKLE as the Technomage HOLDEN MAGROIN as Naginata the Polite Assassin PAT McROTCH as the One-Eyed Man DICK WACHS as the Great Othwog HOMER SEXUAL as Jehovah WAYNE KERR as Jesus Christ DICK WAGGER as Lucifer Morningstar HUNG KOK as Bob the Kiwi SCHWARTZ POPOFP as the Monkey Man TANAKA U AOT as the Master Kungfucius PHAT HO as Butt the Full-Figured Faerie IMA HO as Fuct the Politically Correct Faerie HUNG LO as the Narrator MILES OF THE MOWEN as Shmiles Shmowen the Damned STUNTS Lehman Atwill Dick Surprise Philip McCrack Amanda Hugginkiss Iva Dick Eura Snotball Maya LaTrina (The Scootly One hath no stunt double, for the Ass-Kickin’ Apostle doth all his down stunts!) RECIPE FOR CHOCOLATE PUDDING CAKE 1 cup flour ¾ cup sugar 2 tablespoons cocoa 2 teaspoons baking powder ¼ teaspoon salt ½ cup milk 2 tablespoons vegetable oil or melted margarine 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup brown sugar, packed ¼ cup cocoa 1 ¾ cup hottest water Heat oven to 350. Mix flour, granulated sugar, 2 tablespoons cocoa, baking powder and salt in bowl; stir in milk, oil and vanilla. Spread in ungreased pan (8x10 is best). Pour it over the 1 cup sugar and the ¼ cup cocoa, spreading it as evenly as possible, and pour hot water on top. Bake 40 minutes. Serve warm, with whipped topping or ice cream on top. “ARCANE TEXTS” (In Order of Appearance) “2ND DUDES” from “Venus” by Anthony Feldman from Space: Exploration and Discovery from “Ninja: the Poofy Warriors” by Scott Springer from “Contest Rules” from a random Casio Product Registration card “Lovely Art Thy Feet with Shoes…” From the Song of Solomon (King James Translation) “THE BOOK OF KUNGFUCIUS” “Instruction Manual for the Thing with the Stuff” based on a posting by Little Miss 1565 @ the Offspring Message Board “THE LABORS OF THE DUDES” “Ten Times Stronger Than a Regular Ayatollah” from “Super Heroes” by Scott Springer Censoring provided by EZBoard.com (Motto: ‘Giveth us the #&%$ing $$$ or we shalt censor the $% outta thee!’) “THE BOOK OF MACABRE” “Fuck-You-Clown” Joke by David Chambers HONDO MAD LIBS from “Ninja: the Poofy Warriors” by Scott Springer from “Contest Rules” from Casio Product Registration “Inscription from the Gates of Hell” (translated from Danté’s Inferno) “To Be or Not To Be” Soliloquy (from Shakespeare’s Hamlet) Flavor Flav 7-8 from Psalms, Song of Solomon, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes (King James Translation) from “Ad for Exercise Machine” (Extreme Ass-Flex) by Scott Springer The Book of Macabre (various passages) by Scott Springer PROPS PENNYWISDOM.COM: Spiffy McBang Punk Rawks HMFC SoBay PunkPoseur Skinomaniac Thig Pig Kalika 311 PunkPika El Gautcho Ian Alien Punksta QGJRevived Frigoddess RancidDKM Punk Lifes a Dragge Offchick Goatmilker I Am Road Runner Breezy Punk RATM.COM (RIP): Pain On the Walls Magician’s Apprentice Seeker of Visions Rabid Waffles DrunkenStoopid Psychofemale Valeo Occhi Imacon GoosetheMighty THE GREEN MILE: Nytrydr Sherrill Kathy5 Coachman1126 Aunt Linda Ukebec Char Little Old Me be81827 IHellBorne Peanut Ree Angelina Someday Tlcgogo The Opal Twins Annmarie Rodan82 Kobi Kalamazoo MsLauraEB AuntyNay4 Gene Jacket Ophelia Todd SherryLBretz Scoot giveth a shout-out unto y’all who didst partake of the Hondo Mad Libs! ASSISTANT PRODUCTION MANAGER (If the Production Manager is unable to fulfilleth his duties…) Pat Hinds In the time it took thee to read this far, thou couldst have done something meaningful with thy life. But what art thou going to do? Cry about it? MUSIC SUPERVISOR No One SOUNDTRACK (LYRICAL PROPS) (in alphabetical order by band) 311 “Transistor” “Come Original” “Who Hath the Herb?” “Fuck the Bullshit” “Homebrew” ADRENALINE O-D “Thy Kung-Fu is Old & Now Thou Must Die!” AFI (A Fire Inside) “God Called In Sick Today” “Cereal Wars” AGNOSTIC FRONT “Gotta Go” “Riot Riot Upstart” AT THE DRIVE-IN “Cosmonaut” “Quarantined” “Sleepwalk Capsules” “Alpha Centauri” “Hulahoop Wounds” BAD RELIGION “American Jesus” “Thou” “Don’t Pray On Me” “Modern Day Catastrophists” “Land of Competition” “Bored & Extremely Dangerous” BIG DUMB FACE “Blood-Red Head On Fire” “Duke Lion” “Voices in the Wall” “ ’Tis Right In Here” BLOODHOUND GANG “Right Turn Clyde” “Mope” “We Art the Knuckleheads” “Asleep At the Wheel” “The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope” “Lift Thy Head Up High (And Blow Thy Brains Out)” “Hell Yeah” CAKE “Nugget” “Race Car Ya-Yas” “Sheep Goeth to Heaven” CARL DOUGLAS “Kung Fu Fighting” (After all, all disco endeth in broken bones) CORPORATE AVENGER “Anarchy Thru Capitolism” (w/ the Kottonmouth Kings) DESCENDENTS “All-O-Gistics” THE EELS “Tiger in My Tank” “Thy Lucky Day in Hell” “Electroshock Blues” “Vice President Fruitley” “I Liketh Birds” “Hidden Track” “Friendly Ghost” “Dog Faced Boy” “Mr E’s Beautiful Blues” EMINEM “The Real Slim Shady” “Without Me” FOO FIGHTERS “Down In the Park” FUN LOVIN’ CRIMINALS “The Fun Lovin’ Criminal” “Come Find Thyself” “Korean Bodega” GREEN DAY “86” “Armitage Shanks” “No Pride” “Brain Stew” “Jaded” “Disappearing Boy” “Warning” “Walking Contradiction” KOTTONMOUTH KINGS “Peace Not Greed” (w/ Corporate Avenger & “Gentleman” Jack Grisham) “Daydreamin’ Fazes” LIMP BIZKIT “Counterfeit” METALLICA “The God That Failed” “Where the Wild Things Art” MIGHTY MIGHTY BossToneS “The Rascal King” “Bad in Plaid” “Don’t Knoweth How to Party” “Haji” “Issachar” “Dr D” “The Skeleton Song” “Toxic Toast” “Shit Outta Luck” “Hope I Never Loseth Me Wallet” “Devil’s Night Out” “Holy Smoke” “Finally” MONTY PYTHON “The Lumberjack’s Song” NO DOUBT “Tragic Kingdom” “Trapped In a Box” OFFSPRING “Bad Habit” “Smash” “Changeth the World” (regrettably) “Original Prankster” “Staring At the Sun” “Living In Chaos” “Nitro (Youth Energy)” “Pay the Man” OPERATION IVY “The Crowd” ORBITAL “Dwr Budr” “The Box” (I & II) PENNYWISE “Slow Down” “Fuck Authority” “Unknown Road” “Perfect People” “My God” “Fight Till Ye Die” “Living For Today” “Wake Up” PITCHSHIFTER “As Seen On TV” “WYSIWYG” POWERMAN 5000 “The Son of X-51” “Nobody’s Real” “MEGA Kung Fu Radio” PRESIDENTS OF THE USA “We Art Not Going to Make It” “Kick Out the Jams” (props MC5) “Puffy Little Shoes” “Tiki God” “Feather Pluckn” PRIMUS “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” (Props Charlie Daniels Band) “Mr Know-It-All” RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE “Vietnow” “Born as Ghosts” “The Ghost of Tom Joad” (props Bruce Springstein) “Voice of the Voiceless” “Fuck Tha Police” (props N W A) “Guerrilla Radio” “People of the Sun” “Know Thine Enemy” “Freedom” RANCID “11TH Hour” “Journey to the End…” “Roots Radicals” SMASHMOUTH “The Fonz” SOULFLY “Mulambo” THE SPECIALS “Running Away” SUBLIME “Raleigh Soliloquy” (I, II & III) SYSTEM OF A DOWN “Ddevil” “Sugar” TEN FOOT POLE “A-D-D” THE TOKENS “The Lion Sleepeth Tonight” TSOL (True Sounds of Liberty) “Code Blue” “Silent Scream” “Peace Thru Power” UNWRITTEN LAW “Underground” “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC “Dare to Be Stupid” “Amish Paradise” “Stuck in a Closet with Vanna White” “Everything Ye Know is Wrong” “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi” “Thy Horoscope for Today” “Albuquerque” ROB ZOMBIE “Living Dead Girl” “The Return of the Phantom Stranger” “What Lurketh On Channel X?” Pocket Poodle and the Pig-Stinging Jellyfish appeareth courtesy of the Gods of Hondo (Bumbershoot Productions) and Worldwide Trunks. All other songs art used without permission. So there! EDITORIAL EDITOR Han Jobs 1ST ASSISTANT EDITOR (If the Editor is unable to fulfilleth his duties…) Wan Kaa Man ASSISTANT EDITORS (And if the Editor AND the 1st Assistant Editor art unable to fulfilleth their duties…) Anita Hooker Magnolia Thunderpussy SOUND EFFECTS BY Thou, silly! TITLE DESIGN Pix Butt Hugh Jass DISTRIBUTED BY Bumbershoot Productions Spooky Door Productions & Worldwide Trunks SPECIAL THANKS We wouldst like to thank Shitsplat (Havre) High School and the so-called “University” Formerly Known As Northern Montana College for unknowingly publishing this book. Thou’rt more generous than thou wilt ever know. ;) DIVINE INSPIRATION: Douglas Adams, Scott Adams, Jordan Alefteras, Jimmy Pop Ali, Bandit (RIP), Lester Bangs, Dickey Barret & the BossToneS, Dave Barry, John Bellairs, Hieronymus Bosch, Rob Brezsny, Mel Brooks, Terry Brooks, Robert Browning, Tim Burton, Bruce Campbell, Max Cannon, Chris Carter, Miguel de Cervantes, Charlie (RIP), Graham Chapman (RIP) & John Cleese & Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones & the Monty Python Crew, a Man Called “E” (once called Mark Oliver Everett), Eminem (a-k-a Slim Shady, Marshal Mathers III), Neil Gaiman, Allen Ginsberg, Matt Groening, Gusto (a-k-a Gustav ze Vodka- Svilling Kitty), Martin Handford, Nick Hexum & 311, Stephen King, lvk, David Letterman & the Late Show Crew, Leona (RIP), Lydia (a-k-a Liddy-Kitty, RIP), Jim Lindberg & Pennywise, H P Lovecraft, George Lucas, Shigeru Miyamoto, Muffin (RIP), Edward Packard & R A Montgomery, Tom “Big Brother” Osborne, Chuck Palahniuk, Edgar Allen Poe, Terry Pratchet, Sam Raimi, Shawn & Leon “Wayne” Robbins, Zack de la Rocha & Rage Against the Machine, Shane “de la Mancha” Rodack & the members of Pennywisdom, William “Schim” Schimmel Jr, Day “Arthur” Scovel, Jerry Seinfeld, Rod Serling, William Shakespeare (for if not having read WAY TOO MUCH Shakespeare in one semester, the Book of Hondo wouldst not have been possible!), Kirk “Extreeeme Jake!” Simoneau, Ray Stevens, Peter Straub, J Michael Straczynski, J R R Tolkien, Akira Toriyama Sensei (for ’twas really too much Shakespeare AND too much “Dragon Ball” in one semester that did it!), “Weird Al” Yankovic, Timothy Zahn, Rob Zombie The Book of Hondo is dedicated to all of the art that hath been censored, banned, burned, or otherwise lost to the world because of human ignorance, since the dawn of time.

Loony, loony, loony! Certifiable and crazy! Then sayeth the Chicken, to clams in the clouds, to vibrating spiders to thee: ‘How strange thou art!’ Thou art beautiful my love, as Tirzah, comely as Jerusalem, terrible as an army with bagpipes. I am my belovèd’s, and my belovèd is mine: he feedeth among the lilies. Lo, the Nightingale that doth sing in Paradise, his real name is George. Help, mighty Gods of Hondo, for the voluptuous man crowd-surfeth; for the cheeky fail from among the children of Hippies. They pork vanity, every man with his tiara; with flattering earlid, and a double asshole they speak. The Gods of Hondo shall cut off all fornicating lips, and the ankle that speaketh proud things. Deliver my rhubarb from the folding chair, my darling from the power of Mr Schmang. Save me from Uranus’s jaws, for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns. Deliver me, mighty Gods of Hondo, from the windy man; preserveth me from the monotonous man. All they that be fat upon the earth shall eat and levitate: all they want is lunch. The Gods of Hondo art my proctologists, I shall not fiddle. They maketh me to fool around in overripe pastures, they leadeth me beside scared poems. They restoreth my piccolo: they leadeth me in the Paths of Flight for their namesake. Yea, tho I walk through the No Man’s Land of the Factories of Machines That Make Nothing, I shall live dangerously, and kicketh out the jams, for the Force is with me, what’s with ye? Thy zither and thy didgeridoo, they skank me. Thou preparest a turntable for me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with Redrum; my fingerhole runneth over. Surely military intelligence and medicine wheels shall vroom me all the days of my life, and I will scamper in the House of the Gods of Hondo forever. O clap thy hands, all ye people; shout unto the Gods of Hondo with the voice of the lost. For the Gods of Hondo art undercooked, they art rear admirals over all the earth. He that dwelleth in the Secret Place of the Most Forgetful shall abide under the shadow of Illin’ Oi; if they shutteth the door behind them, no one shall find them. They shall still bring forth glowballs in old age; they shalt be dazed and tacorific. When the Dudes went forth out of the ’80s, the crew of Scoot from a people of strange language, wherefore now shouldst the bowling ball say, ‘Where now is thy Chocolate Jebus?’ The Gods of Hondo vibrateth, they art clothed with moo-moos; Matt is clothed with the Other Dimension; with waltzing hath Derrick girded himself. O sing unto the Gods of Hondo a powered-up song, for they have done misinformed things; their right pants and Super Saiyan arm, hath gotten them the pun! Make a pink noise unto the Gods of Hondo, all ye space weasels! (props Lifes a Dragge/Pennywisdom The Opal Twins/the Green Mile Imacon/ratm.com Psychofemale/ratm.com Char/the Green Mile Annmarie/the Green Mile Peanut/the Green Mile Kathy-5/the Green Mile Angelina_Someday/the Green Mile Rodan82/the Green Mile RancidDKM Punk/Pennywisdom and a shout out to y’all who didst partake of the original Hondo Mad Lib!)

(Pennywisdom)

Reliving out childhood. We are children of the 90s Southern California pink scene. #90spunk #socalpunk #pennywisdom #pennywise #badreligion #theoffspring #calikids (at Sleep Train Amphitheatre)

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