There are a million reasons why I haven't updated--all of them revolving around the remodel, which finished a little less (or more, I forget) than a month ago. It is amazing how well I made it out, all things considered. I need to lay out the last couple of months in my excel sheet and see the charts, but I am willing to say that I had almost two golden months with hardly any issues. I played it super safe--no going outside unless I needed to, taking my reliever any time I needed it, and taking a day off if I felt a little "funny". Basically, this winter was my first attempt at "paranoid asthmatic" to see if there was a difference. There was...but not one I like.
So let's fast forward a bit from all that and see about now. Now, I am sitting at the computer with a slightly heavy chest and slightly swollen lymph nodes. Yup, got a cold. Well, to be more accurate--I got a slight cold a couple of weeks ago, and was really amazed at how quickly I recovered with no asthma issues! I had a few days of high energy and feeling good...and then I got another cold, this time it hit my lungs. I knew it before it even got there, and I even developed a slight fever instead of the typical low-grade and sleepiness.
So I went to the doctor because I knew it was going to hit and I have less than two weeks to get well for my mom's visit. I haven't seen her in 8-10 years. He gave me IV, a breathing medicine, some pred, and I went home. About a day or two after the IV/med, I got a nasty sore throat. I lost my voice in class a couple of times and also ended up with a rough cough that I hate. It always feels like it rips my throat. So whatever the doctor did, it brought the cold fully out and it is running its usual course. I am not upset about it--I kind of expected it. I go to see the doc again on Weds for a followup, so we will see how things go. Right now, I can not bring my voice above a whisper and I am very aware of my tight lymph nodes right now. They don’t hurt, just tight. My husband is naturally concerned as I am out of commission. It is really frustrating for me, too.
At this point, I am still playing paranoid but I haven't taken my reliever as much as I could. Well, I don't have classes right now and I am just a little paranoid about taking my reliever while on Pred. I take it as I need it if I work, though, without hesitation.
I really am not sure what the real trigger was. Could be a number of things. Been trying to walk a bit outside--but the weather has been less than predictable. Strong, chilly winds mean I have to run home--but I got caught out longer than I meant to a couple of times. Then there is just the up-down craziness of the weather anyways. 25 degrees Celsius in the afternoon and 5 in the evening--though at least NOW it is stabilizing. Plus wind. And then the fire in Syberia. ::insert eye roll here:::
Most likely, I am dealing with a domino effect. My body seems to enjoy taking tallies and cashing in like that. If it didn't impact my quality of life so much, I really wouldn't worry about it. As it is, acts of cleaning and doing anything that amounts little more than walking to the bathroom can cause me to get out of breath. I am teetering at the 540 mark, which is the mark that usually means things will get bad if I do one thing wrong. I know that mark--that number is burned in my memory forever. Anything below 550 is bad for me.
I think a lot of people would enjoy the forced break. It is nice to be lazy now and then. But I hate it. I hate not being able to chose to be lazy. I want to do my nightly wipe down again because having that clean house feels good. I still need to finish organizing my room--maybe half way there now. We need to start organizing the big room, too. and I found my zest for cooking in the new kitchen--but after that incident, I am very cautious. It was before the cold hit me--I could barely stand as I was trying to cook. I had to squat a few times, took my reliever and was near tears from the struggle. I have done some breakfast works, but I haven't done lunch again since and that bothers me because I am finally figuring this cooking thing out.
Now, usually in weather like this is when I start becoming stellar and healthy-ish again. But the weather is still pretty dry, and while we are near the end of April, the weather is more like June-July, which I am sure is not helping anything.
I keep wondering what the hell is wrong with me, though. Perhaps just the bad experiences piling up? As soon as I hit 36.8-9 ish on the thermometer, I go into lock-down mode because that is the first sign of a cold--usually a chest cold, the kind that goes into my lungs. Or a throat thing.
Anyway, this medicine is making me sleepy. I have to get over this. at times like this, I feel like I will never get my life back. Like I will always be weak, unhealthy--I can't even take a ten minute walk. And I always compare myself to before--always. I always dream of doing Zumba again, or jogging, or running around outside with my husband, hiking. I dream of it, but it feels like something forever out of my reach. I feel like I do everything I should, and it doesn't matter. I need a personal trainer or something to guide me through all this like all those star athletes have. You know ,the ones everyone lauds as wonderful examples of what you can do if you are asthmatic--while forgetting to mention the wealth and resources they have available. Those types of people just aren't inspirational to me because I can't try what they do.
Well, anyway, this is getting rambling. Update complete. Consider me in the almost-grandmother territory. I can walk, but all movements are kind of slow. They cause coughing, too, and make me out of breath. But I can do things here and there at least, which is better than last week when I couldn't do anything. I would like my voice back, though, please.
