#pdxpoets

Help?

Pour yourself a blanket. Come climb into bed and I will compress you into an alternate reality, eat you whole, and wash you down with a glass of my very own catch 22. We always misplace our neurotransmitters, I think I left mine in the freezer (again). The scale is perpetually off kilter. No amount of lab concocted something or anothers will ever balance it out. You’re jumping rope to conclusions. I can feel it when I switch and it drives me up the wall. Eating popcorn ceilings is bland and I turn into the skin and bones that is the structure of an abandoned haunted house where silence is deafeningly loud. How do you turn down the noise between your ears when the volume is off? Walking on eggshells upon the floorboards in my chest yet they still ache. This is not for the faint of heart.

5:30 AM and I miss you already. Why does a flight home make me feel like I’m losing you? I seep out of my skin onto you as though you’re a canvas. Painting a portrait of disorder and chaos across your skin bleeding into your heart and it’s not fucking fair to you yet I have no idea what else to do without going mad. I’ve entwined my limbs into yours almost every night. You are home to my conscious. You are home to my subconscious. Yet my walls are as great as the one in China. The walls that you chip away at and graffiti your love onto.

Like two puzzle pieces, my hands fit perfectly around your edges. We turn into soft pretzels when we sleep; bending and twisting into shapes we didn’t know we were capable of, in attempt to mold into one another. Regardless of how soft and comfortable, Ikea could never sell me a body pillow that fits me as well as you do. Combined, the states of our bodies create this beautiful continent, colonized by our past lives that only skimmed each others existence. The rumble of your slumber vibrates throughout your chest from your volcano breasts and melts me into lava, carving into the Earth of my existence molding me into something burning, burning. Sometimes I will just harden into molten rock and you have to chip away at my exterior to find the burning core but baby remember, you know how to locate the cracks in my foundation and I know how to make you erupt and we both know how much beauty and restoration there is in destruction.