Mar 12, 2022
So, well, okay, um, like, you know, right?
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So, well, okay, um, like, you know, right?
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“Um”, “uh”, “mm-hmm” and interruption are not killers of conversation, but its lubricants
Conversation, it turns out, is a finely tuned machine, as Nick Enfield, a linguist at the University of Sydney, suggests in “How We Talk”. Humans mostly follow a rule called “no gap, no overlap”, reacting to the end of a conversational turn by beginning their own in about 200 milliseconds—about the time it takes a sprinter to respond to the starting gun. This is all the more remarkable given that it takes about 600 milliseconds for someone to work out what they are going to say by mentally retrieving the words and organising how they are to be expressed.
[...]
Like “um” and “uh”, humble “mm-hmm” and “uh-huh” are critical too. Listeners use them to show they have understood the speaker and are sympathetic. To show their importance, researchers concocted a devilish experiment in which speakers were asked to tell about a near-death experience, while listeners were given a distracting task like pressing a button every time the speaker used a word starting with “T”. As a result, the listener was less able to encourage the speaker with “mm-hmm”. This drove the speakers themselves to distraction. They paused more, used more “um” and “uh” themselves, and repeated the dramatic lines of their stories, desperate for affirmation that they had been understood.
(via The Secret Life of 'Um' - The Atlantic)