You have to every day, choose discomfort somewhere.

Unless every day you choose some degree of discomfort, you'll stop growing and flourishing.

People are flourishing because every day they choose an uncomfortable conversation to have with themselves or with someone else.

They choose to listen to an uncomfortable podcast or read a disruptive book or have a disruptive, uncomfortable conversation.

I want you to commit to staying in a disruptive energy in your life, just enough to keep you on your toes every day and your organisation to stay sufficiently disruptive so that you don't settle.

What discomfort will you choose today ? 

1.

When we define ourselves by what we do for other people…

We essentially forfeit our own power.

We allow those outside of us to determine how we feel and think about ourselves.

And I want you to know today...

Your worth is not in your helpfulness.

2.

If people are angry about your boundaries.  It's because they plan on pushing them.

Just because people push your boundaries, test your boundaries, ignore your boundaries…

Doesn't mean your boundaries are failing and not working. It actually means they're working fine.

So don't keep adjusting your boundaries because people don't respect them.

Remember, boundaries aren't for other people. They're for you. Your boundaries are about self respect, not their respect.

3.

The deepest ways you know who you are...

Is that when you are that you feel a deep sense of alignment, contentment, presence, connection with other humans in your life that matter to you. 

Above all... a deep sense of connection with yourself.

You don't feel that when you are behaving at that time in the way that you are in any way violating who you really are.

It's not a mask, it's not a persona, it's not a role or a personality.

It's you. 

Another mistake I've made in public speaking. And I think this is very uncomfortable for people listening to us.

I have spoken from my open wounds rather than spoken from my healed over scars.

I think what I'm advocating that we do is…

Wait until your open wounds heal or you'll bleed over us all and nobody likes that.

Wait until it's healed over and become a scar and you've figured things out and you've learned and grown from it. Wait until your cry for help has become an act of service to the rest of us.

Can you relate to this mistake I made? 

When you make someone else your emotional home. Your ability to access yourself therefore becomes by how they see you rather than how you see you.

Your belief in yourself is governed by their belief in you. Your self confidence is governed by their confidence in you.

Your sense of self worth and self respect becomes determined by how, on any given day, they view you and the degree to which they validate or respect you.

So your identity becomes very much placed in someone else rather than in yourself.

How they see you becomes how you see you. 

And I want to say to you… You are the CEO of your life. You are the love of your life. You are the hero you are waiting for.

The love that you have for you is your power, not whether people see that love as worthy of being received from you or not.

You're not defined by people's response to your love. You are defined by your response to your love for yourself.

It's time to come home.

Come back home to yourself.

Stop putting your home in other people and giving them the power to make you homeless.

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The Prosperity Of The Soul

What is it that lights you up? What makes you lose track of time? What makes you feel happy? Do more of it. People, places, things, interests, hobbies, whatever it is that you know….

My soul loves this and kind of thanks me for it when i do it.

Then you have to you do more of that.

You will never know what your soul loves if you live from your ego.

Because your ego is making you still do things and collect things and be around people that are protecting that identity that you have.

I want to share with you 3 transformational thoughts for your Tuesday that I hope will encourage and equip you.

1.   We are what we are... Where we are... Who we are... Because of what we believe about ourselves.

4 questions to ask yourself:

What do you believe about yourself? Where did that belief come from? Is that ok? Do you want to change it?

2. Welcome and tolerate, the gift of an enemy in your life this year.

That has come to create movement, to create openness to a new idea.

Because your friends that have tracked with you for the last five years are keeping you stationary.

Without an enemy, your present is permanent.

Because enemies change status. Enemies change conditions. Enemies change the climate, change the atmosphere.

Enemies force you to have new ideas for your life, which is the beginning of movement.

And some of you need a bit more trouble to realise you're in trouble.

3.  You Deserved to be Loved

Does a bird deserve to fly? Or a fish deserve to swim? That's how ridiculous we sound whenever we ask, do I deserve to be loved?

You were created for love. It's the reason you are here.

To give love and to receive it. It's your purpose. And deserve does not come into it.

One of the hardest things to do is to love someone where they're at.

Especially when it's somewhere we don't want them to be.

One of the greatest gifts we can give is accepting people as they are without adding our expectations to their burdens.

Who does this make you think of? How can you show up for them today? 

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Some people will only recognise and remember the version of you that they had the most control over.

No matter how much work you've done or how long it's been since you were that version of you.

They don't want to let that version of you go  because it's about their control of you, rather than their genuine love and friendship towards you.

It's time to let those people go from our lives. Who do you need to let go of?

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Empathy is behaving like it’s happening to ‘US’ not just you. It’s finding the ‘WE’ in our common humanity rather than just the ‘THEM’ it’s happening to.

Empathy isn’t about me having experienced the exact same thing you’re going through. 

Empathy is a choice and a skill, it’s about me connecting with the same emotions in me that you’re going through.

Empathy isn’t about fixing anything it’s about being with... it’s about presence... it’s about attention. How can you practice empathy? 

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Real freedom is being without anxiety about imperfection.

Imperfection is not a personal problem, it’s a natural part of existing.

We all fall short, we all make poor choices and we all wish we’d done something better.  

When we relax about imperfection we no longer lose our life moments to the fear of doing something poorly.

10 BEHAVIOURS OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE.

Here is the complete list of 10 Behaviours I go over in this audio series.

- Reduce the Drama - Habit Stacking vs Goal Setting - Learn To Say 'No' - Give Your Soul What it Loves - Don't Stay Loyal To An Old Version Of Yourself - Always Bring Your A-Game, No Matter Who Sees It - Change Your Mind Every Day - Expose Yourself to New Things - Eat Less, Move More - Talk Less, Listen More - Find A Mentor