#patternbreak

De-Synchronized ~ #patternbreak #layers #monochromephotography #republic_day_2019 https://www.instagram.com/p/BtLwBMGldHN/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5mq7tlwjm0lp

Today. 31st August 2016. Long journey ahead. Need to get back into it.

Back at it. This was yesterday. Putting on that belly fat. New location new level, new aim. Can I get this bellow down before I turn 30??? 43 days to go!!

Late once again, like missed my usual late train so basically later then late. Going to keep this one short and sweet, the month is already coming to an end and the days are counting down for merica2016! We’ve just about booked everything, just NY accommodation left and hoping mozzas visa gets accepted. Then we’re off ! I’ve realized every weekend until then has practically been booked. From memory, this Friday is Stevens wedding, which I’ll feel a lot more relieved after once I’m done with getting called up to “rap” lol. After that Jamie’s bday, then rafs bux, Valentine’s Day, Raf and shivs wedding X 2, Nikki and Ryan’s wedding, Shazs bday, Easter break/holiday away with family then we fly out! This year is flying by its kinda scary to think about it. Work right now is really not much of a priority and only goes as far as getting by, especially since I’m so fixated on starting to plan moving to the UK next year. But that will start soon as we’re back from our trip. That’s all for now , 2 days left for work since this Australia Day weekend felt like it dragged on forever lol 😩😂 time to get back into my daily pattern, For now!

I'm off to a bad start today, left the gym towel at home, I'm pretty much late for work and tired as hell after bad sleep. Just a Chain of events which lead to me having a bad night So the negativity is quite set for today, interested to see if today will turn around. I've realized it's also been quite some time since I've last posted on this blog. Days are closing in till the end of January, Steve's wedding is approaching where I'm not too particularly excited about having to get up and "rap" like some novelty. But yeh whatever I'll deal with it then, Australia Day weekend is coming up so I want to try and focus on the next adventure, was hoping to conquer another hike this weekend. Last Friday I had a good talk with Eljay about the dieting and getting a better understanding about the concept of weight loss and nutrition values in all foods, with help from Shaz I think I'll get to the goal I'm trying to reach. Right now I feel what I do at the gym is quite adequate but majority of it is the diet. Hopefully I can get a cheap Fitbit from Raf for now just to see how I go with tracking myself which I think will help me more since I am more of a visual type person. I need to see stats and results otherwise I'm kind of just veering out blind. The theme of my blog has now been really set to just the fitness goals and the travel goals, I've finally told my parents about the America trip, which I don't know why was such a big deal. I think when it comes to parents it's just something that becomes a hassle when it comes to the constant questioning, but I might as well bring it up now since the trip is fast approaching. Probably going to write up a detailed post soon on what is actually on the agenda at the present moment. Work is quite dull as usual, I've moved back to my old desk so it's the same shit but some new faces. I'm kind of settled in now and don't mind too much riding it out till the end of the year, I'm in the process of applying for higher paying jobs just in case and also cause I want to save a lot more. This is mainly in line with my goal to move to Europe by the end of the year, a huge chunk of my funds are going to a new account I've set up all with the purpose of saving for a big move. At least that's something to keep me feeling optimistic for the future for now. But I'll get into that a bit more later.

Well the day completely turned around. Some reason I had a feeling this was going to happen which doesn't actually help my case. But the fact things were so negative earlier things turned around cause maybe , how could it get worst? But this level of thinking isn't good for me because then I become me, just end up always being negative lol. Like being negative with the purpose that if things stay the same its all good cause it's bad anyway but anything good will be better then what they are ? . Hard to explain but I don't think I will move forward feeling like that. But all in all I'm feeling a lot more optimistic. I'm 4 days in the gym out of 5 to complete my whole week. I have no urge to go out drinking or clubbing this Friday and looking forward to a dinner or night in with the gf. I keep forgetting we have a yacht getaway this weekend away which is an added bonus. I feel I need to work for it so time to keep the the momentum up tomorrow at the gym. Travel planning is also going quite smoothly now, had a few hiccups earlier and trouble communicating with everyone in the party but I feel we're getting there. Shaz finally booked in Joshua tree national park, some untouched part in Cali I don't hear many ppl going to, exactly what I want. Just something outside the norm of typical tourist barriers. This inspires me further to just ride it out at work at least till mid year and to maintain this gym regime and saving my money investing towards this trip. This is inspiring me more to not look at this as just a holiday but a learning and finding myself experience. What better time to truly build on myself and Learn more, sometimes I think maybe yes I'm spending a lot on it but then I think you can't put a price on what you can get out of it. Basically I want to make the most of this trip and not treat it like a holiday. I want to come back from it a different person. Build more ambition towards something after. In a more literal sense I'm shifting my focus on maybe starting a proper travel journal or a study on my trip, might sound typical like just another travel blog but if I can make it more professional it could be the start of something. There's no rules on things you can do for free. And if it doesn't take off or work what do I have to lose? If anything it's something I can always refer back to for myself. The itinerary and days we have packed for this trip are cramping up like crazy. I feel like there wont be one moment we can literally stop and relax but I love it. It excites me. But I need to properly prepare for it. It's going to be an endurance and a half but it's a goal towards something and if anything I need that right now. I want to push these limits. If we're going to do hikes somewhere across the world I want to make it worth while so I need to train for it right here. We're gonna be venturing through long roads on a constant basis. Need to mentally prepare. Train myself to rest efficiently. Keep my energy levels up. At least for the first half of the trip in California/ Nevada. There will be plenty of time to rest when we come back :p Anyways I'm rambling a lot here, ill ease up and get some good rest at home in preparation for tomorrow.

Well I set off my alarm rather then snoozing. Tokyo drifted to the station, Hussein bolted to the train while Indiana jones-ing my way through the doors. Can safely say I'm not off to a good start. It's one of those days where my shit gets out of whack beyond my control. Steve called earlier today saying he can't come in and asking if I could take his place for this meeting with one of his big clients. It's a messy one, I'm not exactly prepared and I know I'm just gonna be thinking about it until the time comes. At least I won't be alone as I'll be meeting with someone from the city office to run it. Sigh, I think it's becoming a real calling for me to look elsewhere but I feel I need to ride this out even for another year. The good is I'm very comfortable where I am, I mean I get away doing what i want all day the works not exactly hard and pay is decent, but is that a bad thing ? End of last year I was all for this place but maybe it was the end of year holiday spirit which made everything and everyone seem better. Other then that I'm a complete different version of myself when I go through those door. There was one point when I loved coming in everyday and it's safe to say it's really who you work with and work for that make the most Of it, the job itself is second and money id rank third. I'm 4 days in and I need to stay focused and optimistic. America should be my goal that keeps me motivated for the time being, I've been gym 3 times this week already and today and tomorrow will make it 5 and next week Eden comes back from leave so getting back into the fit45 sessions at lunch will get me back and closer to the pool party body I'm aiming for in Vegas haha. If things don't start looking any better I might need to really consider looking for a job elsewhere after the trip rather then waiting for 2017. This might put a dent on my living in Europe plans for the time being but we'll have to wait and see. I can already feel the stomach pains from The stress and dread of this meeting. sick to your stomach in a literal sense. What's wrong with me? I hope I can get out of this box I always find myself in. I have a habit of wanting to do something really drastic to shake up these feelings I have inside, like so much to do I can't focus on one clear goal. I want to work elsewhere, or start in a different industry, or start a business, but that needs more money, but then I want to live overseas. Work overseas. Sometimes I dont know which of these are actual goals to work towards or another drastic measure or thought in place. Some days I feel I got all my shit together and some days I just fall apart and feel like a complete mess of things. I don't have a resolution for this right now. My only aim is to get through today and re-evaluate everything once more.