fitted sheet . . myself . stretching the material over . . . . smaller and smaller round the bed at different angles] lining up the tags on the sheet . . angles not fitting right . corners showing up where you don't want them . . . I don't know what i'm supposed to be doing right now . grinding my gears biting the bullet relaxing my jaw eye lids pulsating cold metal feelings . literally translating to I am cold need warmth not okay or something really really cold . . remembering interactions from today photo memory capturing some moment in the face where I said something preplaned why did I plan that what am I saying are you supposed ot plan what you say\ I really like this person idk i'm really trying . . some kind demon in their face though finding that why did I say that to make their face look like that . . my dog needs a nap tired cranky thoughts not wanting to think . haven't gotten a lot done yet today maybe new situation. everything feels different feels like i'm living in an apocoplyse and acting way too okay maybe not knowing if I should preplan . . am I doing this right . . do i do that wrong . . I want to get this right . . I want to get this right, why? I forgot I had no plan . . . too many spur of the moment thoughts moving 2 steps forward 1 step back. the pain of going back and forth . gumby body unconfortable body sensitive to weather body that's what my body is supposed to do body thats what we did before weather stations . . I feel like i'm being bred out . people speaking to tvs where are they who are they talking to why are they talking to the black prism . . remembering to protect myself with black spears getting strong black spears behind my back keeping safe . all I can do is trust them all I can trust is myself today
