#patrick lovato

"I was very conflicted when he passed because he was abusive. He was mean, but he wanted to be a good person, and he wanted to have his family. When my mom married my stepdad he still had this huge heart where he would say, 'I'm so glad Eddie's taking care of you and doing the job that I wish I could do. He knew he wasn't capable of raising a family, um, and it was because of his mental illness. To know that it wasn't fully his fault really was saddening to me. I wanted to write about it; I wanted to process it."

I can't believe it's already a year since Patrick passed away. Today is probably a hard day for Demi, well, I'm sure it's, since she tweeted that song. If you guys didn't listen to it yet, well, don't listen if you don't want to be sad, because that song really hurts. I hope Demi is around her friends and family today, so she won't feel alone. Stay strong, Demi!

I hope you like this drabble. Let me know what you think.

It’s already been a year. A year since he was gone. I can’t believe it’s already been a year since he is my nightingale. My daddy. I will never forgive myself for not being by his side, for not telling him I forgave him. Despite everything he did, he was and still is my daddy, and I’m still his daughter. I will always be. I wish I could’ve hugged in one last time. But unfortunately… I couldn’t.

I took my phone and pressed the buttom to play a song that I really connect with, “Things That Matter” by Rascal Flatts. If I was another person, I would say that it was Demi Lovato who wrote it. I put my earphone, so I wouldn’t disturb Wilmer’s sleepiness.

“Nena? Are you okay?” Suddenly I heard Wilmer talking to me. He took me off from my trance. “Yeah, Yeah. I’m fine.” I said and turned my back to him sitting on the edge of the bed. “Demi?” He put his hand on my shoulder and sat beside me. “It’s. 2am. You are not fine.” He wiped the tears from my cheek. I was so deep in my thoughts, that I didn’t even notice I was crying.

“You can count on me. You know that, right?” He wrapped his arms around my body, making me get closer. “I know.” I said hiding my face on his chest. “It is because of what day is today, isn’t it?” He put his index finger on my chin making me look at him. I just nodded and let more tears fall down. “Shh….nena it’s okay. He is in a better place right now. He is not suffering anymore.” He kissed my forehead and I tried to call down while I heard his heartbeat.

-

I had probably fallen asleep, because I woke up and it was already 11am. Wilmer wasn’t sleeping beside me. I stood up and went towards the bathroom. I washed my face, and remembered everything. Why I was crying… it was so hard.

“Demi? Are you awake?” I heard Wilmer’s voice coming from the kitchen. “Yes, baby. I am.” I put a robe on my body. It was a little bit cold, and I was just wearing my jersey. I went towards the kitchen to meet him. “What are you doing?” I asked stopping at the door way. “Something for us to eat. You are probably hungry.” He said while he cooke. “Actually, I’m not.” I said and sat down on the chair. “Nena…You need to eat. I know you are sad, but he wouldn’t like to see you not eating.” He said and got closer.

“Stand up.” He demanded and I did. He sat on the chair which I was sitting and wrapped his arms around my waist, making me sit on his lap. “He is in a better place, nena. He is happy now.” He kissed my cheek. “I know how you feel. I already felt it. It wasn’t my dad, thanks god, like in your case, but it was a relative of mine. It hurts. It really does. But I know you can handle it.” I rested my head on his chest. “If you handled it until now, you can keep doing it. You can do it.”

“Wilmer?” I broke the silence that was between us for more than 5 minutes. “Yes, nena?” He hugged me tight. “I wanna see him.” I said almost not being able to be heard. “Do you?” He asked me and I just nodded while wiped the tears that was about to fall down. “So we will see him. But you need to promise me you will eat something.” I was too sad. Hungry didn’t define me at that time. But I knew I needed to eat something. “Okay. I will eat.”

-

It was already 2pm. I bought our plane tickets to Albuquerque some hours ago, and thanks God, there were still available tickets for the next flight. I took just some clothes for me and Wilmer and put in a small bag. We would just spend a night there, so we wouldn’t need a lot of clothes. And I really didn’t want to be asked by the paparazzi what I was going to do, where I was going to. We got into the car and Wilmer drove us towards the airport.

He took my hand, and held it tight. “I love you, baby.” He gave me a soft kiss and then we sat on our seats at the plane. I was anxious. I don’t go there since when I went to his funeral. It’s so sad to go back there.

After some hours we landed in Albuquerque. He called a taxi and we got into it. “Do you wanna go there now?” He asked me and I nodded. I want to go there as soon as possible. I didn’t want to wait anymore. The driver took us to there and after just some minutes we were already in front of the cemetery. He talked something to the driver and the went towards me who was standing in front of the cemetery looking to God knows where, because neither I knew what I was looking at.

“Are you ready?” He asked kissing my hand gently. “Yes.” He held it tight and we walked to my daddy’s tomb. When we got closer, I could already feel tears rolling down my face. I miss him. I do miss him so much. I wish I could hug him and tell him how much I love him.

I knelled right next to his tombstone, and stared it. I stayed there just talking to him through my thoughts. I hope he was hearing me. “Nena, put it there.” Wilmer handed me a bouquet of roses and I kissed the roses before I left it on his tomb. We stayed there for about 20 minutes. Wilmer was by my side during all the time. Sometimes he kissed my cheek, took my hand, or wrapped his arms around me, just to let me know he was there, even though I already knew that.

“He is happy for you coming here, Demi.” Wilmer helped me to stand up. “I know. I’m happy too.” He took my hand and we started walking back to the taxi. Wilmer asked for him to wait for us. We sat on the backseat and I rested my head on his shoulder, while we were already on our way to the hotel. “Thank you, Wilmer.” I said not looking into his eyes. I was just making invisible circles on his hand. “For what?” He asked, but I knew he knew what I was talking about. “For coming with me. Thank you so much.” I looked into his eyes. “You don’t need to thank me, Hermosa. I’m here for you. With and by you always. You are my future wife, and you can count on your future husband always you need to.” He kissed my forehead.