#pastel asks

yesss i am currently open!

Hii! No I appreciate you checking in on it🤍

I feel bad bc I know some people have been waiting on an update. I have been working on it slowly but I sometimes get insecure with my stories and feel like I’ve taken on too much. Like I know I left y’all on a big cliff hanger and I still really wanna finish the story as a whole but sometimes I’m like “is this stupid? Too melodramatic? Are people gonna be disappointed with the ending?”

I did need a break after writing over 80k words for this story but I never intended on it being this long. It’s also hard bc gege hates us and has barely given us anymore higu in over a year now 😭 it goes back to my insecurities cuz what if we learn more about him in the manga and I completely mischaracterized him? Idk I just get in my head too often. BUT I do have about 10k words down for this chapter already (it’s probably gonna be close to 20 by the end😩) but since you’ve been so patient and kind I will add a snippet of the beginning of chapter 11 here. I hope it will help for now!

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Tw: physical assault, guns, kidnapping

The sound of your rapid pulse was drumming in your ears, nearly drowning out all your other senses until the phone in the stranger's hand rang again. He groaned before leaning over to press the button on the door handle right beside you, the tinted window rolling down to reveal the city streets. They were completely desolate at this hour, giving the man across from you the perfect opportunity to chuck the phone out the window without any hesitation. The vehicle was moving too fast for you to hear it, but based on the sheer power he put behind his throw, you knew that the phone was as good as gone. Watching him rolling up the window right after felt like your last tie to Hiromi being severed - along with your freedom.

You could’ve tried screaming while the window was open, but there was no point when Toji was casually holding a gun behind your head. Instead of pressing the end of the barrel against you like he had in the parking lot behind the temple, he leaned back in his seat lazily with an arm outstretched over the bench seat, the gun resting somewhere close behind your head. He couldn’t be bothered putting up a defense towards you, that's how weak you were to him.

And he wasn’t necessarily wrong. Like many other women, you’ve imagined before what you would do in tense situations like this. You always thought that you’d might be braver, fighting till the bitter end in hopes of making it out alive. But it was easy to feel a sense of control when it was only ever a fantasy. Here in the real world, you knew that any fight you put up would probably come back to you tenfold. They haven't hurt you yet, but that only made you more nervous for what's to come.

“Switch seats with me.”

The man across from you was speaking to Toji, and the taller man stood as far as the vehicle's roof would let him before the other man slipped in his place. Now he was right beside you, much closer than Toji had been. And though you couldn’t see him brandishing a weapon like his now seated partner was, that didn’t mean you weren’t any less terrified of him. You pressed your back up against the car door as you looked him up and down with frightened eyes. In the absence of words that couldn’t escape your dry throat, you used your body language to signal to him to not come any closer. Yet something to that lit a fire behind his eyes, like he had spotted a long awaited prey he was hunting for sport.

All the sudden he grabbed your face roughly in one hand, pulling it forward till your hands had to grip the leather seat between you just so you wouldn’t fall over. He turned your face from side to side, inspecting you closely. Any attempt to pull away from his grasp only made his grip grow tighter. He only let go after he squeezed your cheeks together till your lips were scrunched up, chuckling deeply at how humiliated you looked. It was so dehumanizing that you didn’t even want to give him the satisfaction of another reaction, returning his sharp grin with a blank stare. That seemed to only amuse him more, a laugh falling from his lips as he said, “Oh you’re fun, aren’t you?”

From this up close, you could see the ink lines traced all over his face. They gave him an even scarier disposition, but there was also something familiar about him. It was hard to tell what shade his hair truly was under the car’s dim interior lights, but flashes of streetlamps showed shades of dusty rose over a dark undercut. Either than that, everything about this man was new to you. You tried to think back if maybe he was a client of Hiromi’s in the past, but nothing came to light. He had a smaller stature than Toji but was far from frail. You could see the outlines of his veins beneath his skin from where the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up. But before you could look at him any further, the car pulled up to the front of a tall gate. It seemed to border some kind of private property, and your anxiety only got worse as you watched the gates close behind you once the car drove past a group of security guards operating the gate.

When it finally came to a stop, it was within seconds that the door opened up beside you and you were greeted with the sight of an unfriendly face that belonged to what had to be another one of this guy's henchmen. Without a single word, he grabbed you roughly by your forearm and yanked you out of the car so hard that you nearly fell on your knees. He pulled you up before they could hit the ground, but you winced as a shooting pain went up your arm, his blunt nails digging into your flesh. You turned your head back to shoot him a look from over your shoulder, but just when you had, you felt the man’s hand slip away as a loud thud sound could be heard against the side of the car. Your eyes widened as you turned to see the tattooed man holding up the offender by the neck, his elbow digging into his jugular. The man gave desperate apologies through thick coughs, but that was all ignored as the other said, “Remind me when I said you could touch her?”

The man was incapable of responding, gargling getting progressively worse as his face turned bright red. Though you hadn’t appreciated what he’d done, you didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of you. Finally finding your voice, you were about to speak up when a large form stood between you and the two men, nearly obstructing your entire view.

“It’s nearly daybreak. We should get her inside.”

It was Toji, and though his back was turned to you, you got the sense that he was trying to diffuse the situation. Though you couldn’t see his face from where you were standing, the angry man loosened his grip just enough for the man’s feet to touch the ground again. Without ever taking his eyes off the man - who was now taking in gulps of precious air - he addressed Toji in a hauntingly apathetic tone, “You know where to take her.”

And with that, you were being escorted by your once friendly acquaintance towards a large building. You didn’t want to follow him per se, but you also didn’t want to be near this maniac any longer. It was still dark out, but even now you could tell that this place was massive. The bordering gates that surrounded the place were so long that they disappeared past your line of sight. Not knowing what was inside the house felt almost as intimidating as not knowing what lay outside. How big was this place exactly? Were all the fences spiked? Did your capture own all of it? These thoughts and more flooded your brain at lightning speed till they were interrupted by the sounds of fists meeting flesh.

It was all happening behind you, right where you and Toji had left the two men. You stopped in your tracks but a hand on your back guided you to move forward. Over and over the man’s coughs and pleas were cut short by the sound of connecting flesh. There was a crunching noise that sent a shiver up your spine, and you shut your eyes tightly as tears started to well in them. With Toji now a few steps ahead of you, you started to pick up your pace just to get away from the scene sooner. Once you were beside him, you almost ventured a look behind you, but he must’ve noticed your watery eyes and said with a straight face, “It’s better if you don’t look.”

azure: favorite type of flower

Lilies! 

turquoise: favorite art work

I am not super well-versed in art work that most people might understand. But, it is a form of art and I am a HUGE fan of venus figurines. (Also an anthropology nerd, but...)

cotton candy: favorite tv show

It’s hard to choose just one, but if I had to choose just one... I’d go with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is because it is the show that helped me through when I was really struggling.

If I can have a couple others, the Haunting of Hill House blows my mind. Also the 100 (Though it got less interesting when the Lexa thing happened, but I will still love Octavia to the end of time.)

cotton candy: favorite tv show

Hmmmm at the moment I would have to say..... Kitchen Nightmares because I have been binging it with my partner

cream: favorite blog

Oooooooo this is too hard to choose! But I’ll mention my friend because I love them so much and so many more tbh @pinetreestudies @rivkahstudies @theonlysaylor @coffeeandpies @cyclicstudies @thekingsstudy and sooo many more I can’t pick

lemon: vanilla or chocolate?

azure: favorite type of flower

I’m a fan of calla lilies.

indigo: first pet

A black cat named Biscuit! She passed away a few years ago, though.

ooohhhh, I’m terrible at picking favorites, lol

But a show that I do adore is RuPaul’s Drag Race