#parttime-creative

Working customer service was always busy and mostly horrible, so Jaskier tried to forget most of them as soon as his shift ended. However, recently there was this positively gorgeous man that came by every single morning to buy breakfast for his daughter before school and Jaskier just couldn't forget him.

FINALLY! I managed to write something short. This is more or less what you asked for, enjoy!

There was a thing about humans that had never occurred to him when he had been one and that was how utterly unequipped for life on earth they were. A little too cold, they got sick. A little too warm, they got sick. A little too dry, they got sick. A little too wet and they got, you guessed it, sick! It was infuriating and annoying and Geralt couldn’t fathom how it had escaped his notice until now.

Well, maybe that wasn’t quite the case. Maybe it just hadn’t been brought to his attention until he had had the misfortune of meeting a very particular specimen who was very vocal about even the smallest inconvenience. That very same specimen appeared to be especially unequipped for life on earth, especially especially to be a witcher’s travel companion.

Jaskier didn’t hesitate to comment on even the slightest deviation from optimal travel conditions. Loudly. And frequently.

Middle ages fun fact time!

In the 16th century a leaflet (telling people about miracles curiosities and other fun stuff; i.e. the social media of the middle ages/renaissance) cost about 4 kreutzer (which might or might not have been equivalent to pennies at the time). Other things that cost 4 Kreuzer were: 12 eggs, 2 herrings or 1 lb of venison.

The most common exchange approximation is that 1 florin is the equivalent to what’s roughly 500$ now. By that logic, 4 Kreuzer are about 8$.

In the middle ages, time was often measured with religious things. Not just to give the year structure, but even the day and smaller time units. Without pocket or wrist watches or anything of that kind, people relied on the bells of the churches. That is also the reason why the bells toll extra long at 6pm (at least around here) so that the farmers can hear them and know it’s time to return from the fields.

Smaller time units were measured in prayers. I know this is often seen as a sign of mis-placed piety in period dramas, but when someone told you to do something for “x Ave Marias” or “y pater nosters” that was because everyone knew how long that took!

Medieval cities were smaller than you think. Smaller. Even smaller. That might be too small.

No, but seriously, in a world where most settlements consist of 5-25 houses, a place with more than a thousand people is huge and there weren’t a lot of them either. We’re talking about 500-600 settlements with an urban charter in 1300 in all of England. For reference: Stratford-upon-Avon had just over one thousand inhabitants in 1250 and was a standard medieval town with that.

There were of course exceptions. At the same time, Pisa had between 25,000-30,000 inhabitants, Cologne up to 55,000, Ghent was with 60,000 the largest city north of Paris, which itself had around 200,000. Then again, those are very much the exceptions to the rule. Pull up a map, look at where those are and then remember: in between there was nothing much.

In that night Jaskier find out how much Geralt enjoys being hold and once in a while not having to be the protective one. Since then Jaskier almost exclusively is Geralts little Jetpack and the witcher is so much more rested the next day.

On a similar note: Jaskier is not tze bottom in that relationship.

If you have not the slightest clue about the witcher fandom, how come you show up with such accurate takes? 🧐

Yes, yes, very good, you are 100% correct. Watch me proceed and adapt that headcanon in numerous fics

"It was done."

Do your Magic, my dear!

Here, have some Theadia, dearest:

Thea stared down at her bloody hands, the claws and burning scales slowly receding. She sniffed warily and immediately regretted it. She stank of death. Without her really wanting to do so, her legs gave out under her and she fell to the floor like a puppet with cut strings. A moment later the qerisari was kneeling at her side, keeping her upright. “It’s alright,” Xiadia promised int between the kisses she peppered all over her face, “it’s alright, it’s alright, we did the right thing.”

Dumb idiot with way to much creativity and procrastination chaos that i love very dearly and who isn't dumb at all, but sometimes is very dumb and lovely and very gayce and where was I going with this?

I don't remember, the point is tho I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

THANK YOU, I love you too, my dear! You are completely right, I can be very dumb lol

I GOTTA KNOW OKAY?!

doing this thing

You're a dumbass 😘 Ladies, gentlemen and other esteemed guests, I present to you my best friend.

What's set as your phone's lockscreen?

Has been the same for years