#partera

I had the privilege to meet with this lovely young woman that grew up in west Africa not too long ago. Although our meeting was very brief, it touched me profoundly. It made me wonder what it must be like for a woman that grew up in west africa, in a completely different culture, to suddenly find herself here, in Canada. A muslim woman, who prays many times a day, a woman who has been educated, raised, to express her feminine nature in a way that clashes with the western world… 

Seeing her being here, in her early pregnancy, barely being able to afford anything in her life, alone, with no friends, no family other than her cousin that work day and night… Who does she talk to? Who is helping her? Who is supporting her? How is she and the baby receiving what they need?

As soon as she welcomed me into her home, and became aware of her reality, it awakened something in my heart that I couldn’t simply dismiss. It dawned on me that this is the reality of many women. It made me sad and also angry. It felt like I was witnessing my own daughter being completely alone and clueless.

Although I could feel that she needed help, on so many layers, she wasn’t able to say yes in receiving that help. Despite that there was a natural instinct inside of me to offer my services without receiving any money in return. Even then, She wasn’t able to say yes.

Why are women so afraid of receiving the help that they need?

In my experience of interacting with white women so far, I have noticed that there is something more willing inside of them to receive help. They take it, no matter what the cost is. They know what they want, so they take it. No second guessing.

I feel that it is different for women of colour…

It’s very internal, within the family, within those boundaries. Anything, anyone, outside of that family web, cannot really be trusted or welcomed in… 

Being a woman of colour myself, I understand this. It took me a very long time myself to open up to the women in my life. 

It’s a very profound wound in the feminine. That, at the of the day, no matter where you come from,  every woman carries inside of them. 

«SÓCRATES: Y el arte de la mayéutica, ¿no nos está diciendo que todo esto ha nacido como algo vano y que no vale la pena nuestro cuidado?

TEETETO: Sí, sin duda.

SÓCRATES: Pues bien, Teeteto, si después de esto intentas quedar encinto de otras cosas, si logras hacerlo, estarás lleno de cosas mejores gracias al examen que hemos llevado a cabo ahora; si quedas estéril, serás menos pesado y más amable para los que se relacionan contigo, pues con sensatez no creerás saber lo que no sabes. Tanto —y nada más— es lo único que mi arte puede hacer, y no sé nada de lo que los demás —cuantos son y han sido hombres grandes y admirables— saben. Pero este arte de dar a luz lo recibimos en suerte mi madre y yo de un dios; ella lo pone en práctica entre las mujeres; yo, en cambio, entre los  jóvenes que revelan nobleza y son meritorios. Y bien, ahora debo comparecer ante el Pórtico del Rey para hacer frente a la acusación que Meleto ha presentado contra mí. Sin embargo, mañana temprano, Teodoro, regresaremos de nuevo aquí».

Platón: Teeteto. Editorial Losada, pág. 247. Buenos Aires, 2006.

TGO

@bocadosdefilosofia

There are two reasons why I felt the call to become a doula. One of them is my own desire to one day become a mother. From the desire to prepare my land, my body, my mind and every other layer of my dimensionality as a woman. To prepare myself for this sacred and life changing moment. It came from all the heart that I already feel for the children I want to birth with my partner, from all the life, wisdom and care that I want them to have access to. That I feel called to cultivate in the coming years.

The second reason, which is deeply intertwined with the first one, is that when I receive another woman's reality, universe, situation, condition… It touches me profoundly. It touches me because I know what it feels like to feel unseen, unheard, like you are crazy for having certain kinds of thoughts and feelings. Because I know what it feels like to feel stuck, to feel tense, to feel scared, to feel un-equipped, not ready…

because I remember how I wished to have had someone with the capacity to receive me in my complexity as a human being, as a woman…

At the core of my being,It touches my heart tremendously to engage with women and receive how afraid they are, how alone they feel. Whether they are aware of it or not. It touches me to feel their doubts, fears, sadness, worries… I believe that no woman should carry and birth a child into this world feeling like she is alone and helpless in what is the most pivotal time of her life.

That’s why I feel called to be a doula.

I wish to offer as many women as possible a safe space where she can rest, relax, and exhale. To offer as many women as possible the support, love and care that she needs so that her pregnancy journey is as smooth as possible.

So that she can have a moment to take it all in and simply enjoy it, without so many worries..

I deeply believe that every woman deserves to receive this kind of care... to have another woman next to her accompanying her. To have a strong pillar that believes in her, in this raw power of nature that wants to take over and is slowly guiding her towards the birthing of a new being.