#paris bennet

@pryde-of-the-x-men- Sorry this took all day! I basically passed out after work. The issue was in the 1998 “Magneto” miniseries that actually starred Joseph. It was probably #3 or #4, but the whole thing is worth reading (despite the abominable art) for awful Fabian content. We’ve got: - Fabian’s first panel in it features him LEVITATING AND SPARKLING. Neither of these things are in his power set. - The first thing he does is creep on a woman - He claims to this woman that he has super duper changed his ways and is now as pure as snow. He literally compares himself to the snow surrounding the base. Seriously. - Two issues later, he then tries to force her to be in his would-be harem (as he announces his plans for such) - SHE BEATS HIM UNCONSCIOUS. THREE PEOPLE SEE IT. NO ONE QUESTIONS WHY. THEY JUST (CORRECTLY) ASSUME HE DESERVED IT. - So he’s all HI IM UR NEW BESTIE to Joseph, teaching him how to be Magneto, etc. That’s when the Acolytes burst in, attack him, and tell “Magneto” all about how Fabian is the dude who MURDERED HIM. Joseph is like SO DID YOU JUST CONVENIENTLY FORGET THIS HMM and Fabian gives this heartfelt speech about how “I have done heinous things, and I can’t pretend those things never happened” even though that is EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS DOING before getting caught. JOSEPH FUCKING BUYS IT. - Three Acolytes FIGHTING WITH EACH OTHER over WHO GETS TO KILL FABIAN - “But we must both be brave. We have other people to think of.” FABIAN CLAIMING HE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE LOL - He claims to Exodus that the woman, Amelia, is the liar and manipulator and iirc, I think Exodus buys it. I think Exy just. . . .forgot that he could read minds through this whole thing. . . because this would have been over so much faster if he had. . . or maybe he just doesn’t want to be in Fabian’s brain. - The introduction of Orator, an Acolyte who can detect lies. Funnily enough, after Fabian’s return, we never see him again. I wonder what happened. - FABIAN LIES TO A BIRD. Not a shapeshifter. Not a sentient bird. Not even someone’s pet. Just. . . .a random wild bird.  It’s just him and the bird and he talks to it about how REALLY, I’VE CHANGED, I JUST WANT PEACE BETWEEN MUTANTS AND FLATSCANS NOW because using an anti-human slur REALLY sells how sincere he is. And then he assures the bird “I’m being sincere” HE IS NOT ONLY LYING TO A BIRD, HE IS LYING TO THE BIRD ABOUT LYING TO IT!!! To be fair, he did get busted in the past because someone walked in on him having a Villainous Conversation with another character, so maybe he was just counting that some hero was spying on him (which they were not) but…yeah, Fabian just lies to birds I guess. - And finally, ok, so, Fabian wants Exodus and Joseph to fight and destroy each other so he can take over the Acolytes, because I’m SURE they’ll just accept him again. To do this, he has to get Joseph to believe he is Magneto, and Exodus to be sure he is an imposter. To do this, he tells Joseph that Magneto and Amelia Voght were in love so it will look MEGA SUSPCIOUS to everyone if Magneto doesn’t show her affection. This was of course, not the case, so when Joseph kisses Magneto, it indeed makes Exodus think that this is NOT Magneto. EXODUS HAS TEARS IN HIS EYES. AND EXODUS IS NOT IN LOVE WITH AMELIA IN THE SLIGHTEST, SO. . . . -  - At the end, they put him in a prison, then return to find there’s just a big hole in the wall like a fucking Looney Toons skit. FABIAN, HOW DID YOU EVEN?! They debate going after him, but Joseph says “even Cortez couldn’t survive” out there in the snow. Meaning he first acknowledges that FABIAN IS A FUCKING COCKROACH (the “even” bit) and secondly confirming that EVEN JOSEPH, A MUCH NICER DUDE THAN THE REAL MAGNETO, DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT FABIAN DYING Veering it back to Exodus, YES HE WAS DEFINITELY IN LOVE WITH EOBAR. And remember when Magneto was in the coma and Exodus was taking care of him? Magneto had on a robe and slippers, Exodus was DRESSING him, and the fact he gave him SLIPPERS means that he wanted Magneto to be ready to get up and walk at any given time ;-; Exodus claims Magneto speaks to him telepathically, but. . . I don’t believe that. But I believe Exodus believed it. And he gets SO MAD when the other Acolytes come and look at Magneto in his current state. I just. . .Exodus ;A;  Also remember a few years ago with Cullen Bunn’s run where he fights Magneto and Magneto puts him in a coma (Exodus’s default state lol) and it’s implied Magneto LET him win? And then Exodus comes back and brings Elixir to come heal him even though he knows Magneto won’t rejoin him? IM SO GLAD I HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT THIS WITH BECAUSE IT IS SO THERE!!