#parents rant

And when I call them out for having no right to share information that I keep private, that I have told my family in confidence, that they are not respecting my boundaries.

You know what response I got?

"How dare you take back to me.

How dare you use that tone.

I am the parent, you are the child.

I can talk about you to whoever I want"

I am a grown adult in my 20s yet I'm treated like a baby. I feel like shit.

I can't even say that this household has an unhealthy boundary when they literally discard my opinions and feelings.

This is why I have trust issues.

(and why I always rant to tumblr about these things)

This is why I am hesitant in sharing details but ultimately have to because I'm forced to.

Every single step I try to make in establishing a decent human relationship you shut down citing the "I am the parent" card.

Why are parents like this?

Especially Asian Parents.

Yes I know Filia Piety and all that. It is one of, if not the most important value that is ingrained in Asian Households.

I respect that.

But I and most people want in return is the same respect. At the bare minimum, acknowledgement.

My dad has this problem where he doesn't knock when entering my room. Or he'll knock AS he's opening it so it's too late. Or he knocks but doesn't wait for an answer.

Parents, please knock and wait. Do you know how awkward it is when your dad walks in on you changing or just vibing in pants and bra with the fan on cuz you just got done dancing or smth like that :"(

Sometimes I get lucky and manage to get a "Don't come in here!" Before he fully opens it. But it's rare :"(

Before I start this little rant, I just want to apologize if I ramble, or I don't make sense at times. I really just need to get this off my chest. With that being said,

Parents, please do NOT hold your child's grades over their head

Ever since I was a little kid, my parents and teachers always praised me, saying that I was so smart for my age. Every year, I heard the same thing. I was told that I thought on a level higher than even the honors students in my grade. Now, I know that all sounds like a massive compliment, and on the surface, it is, however, if a child is told this too many times.....it can start to become a burden to them.

As I've gotten older, I've found that school gets harder and harder to deal with. Why? Because the work is getting harder, and sometimes I struggle. Why don't I ask for help, then? Because I'm scared. I'm scared of being seen as dumb. Oh and my ADHD and depression don't help, either. ADHD makes it hard for me to focus, and depression.....is depression.

And another thing, don't treat your child's grades like they are the most important thing on the planet. Just today, my grade in a class went from an A to a B, and my mom is pissed. I'm now allowed to have anything below an A. Hell, my parents are threatening that if I get anything below a B on my report card this quarter, then I'm being sent off to military school.

Now, in my case, I will admit that laziness does tie in to some of my poor grades. For example, today, when my grade dropped, it was because I had forgotten to complete an assignment in that class. My mom messaged me about it, and I tried to tell her that I would get it done. Long story short, it is literally impossible for me to fix it, no matter what, and my mom is still pissed about it.

people who say they will do something, agree that at a certain time they will do the thing and it is important for them to keep their promise, and then IMMEDIATELY back out the moment you remind them "hey you need to come back and do this thing like you said you would so that i can do the next thing!". Those people get on my nerves. dont say you are gonna do something if you arent gonna do it. its one thing to forget its another thing to promise yes and then immediately say no after promising not just one but MULTIPLE people you would do the thing. hell even promising ANIMALS you would do something for them and then not following through.

I talk/interact better with people younger than me(kids) > I have anxiety talking to adults

Which so much harder when you’re an adult yourself and your “peers” are adults.

My parents were cultural typically strict, so I’ve been wary of them. Now, living in the west, they’ve mellowed out and chill, but I still don’t tell them major things.

So my mom needs these documents to send for application right?

Yesterday, I complied all 17 of them into a folder in google drive and I added her as a collaborator and sent her the link via email, detailing everything from its contents and how to access.

Today, she complains that by writing directions in that email, she can't directly forward it. Instead stating that I have just written a general email and attaching only these 2 documents. That remaining 15 files WERE NOT NEEDED.

Blaming me for HER NOT KNOWING HER GMAIL PASSWORD. Stating that since I help set up her account, i must know it. Bruh, yes I did help you set it up, BUT you were the one who created the password. I don't know and have never known her password for PRIVACY-something sadly both my parents do not care for, especially when it comes to their children. (Its sad, cause even that I'm an adult, they would pull the parents card to justify invading my privacy)

Coming from my previous experiences, she will be pissed if anything other what she requested was left. Therefore I removed her access to the document folder and sent the following emails

1. Directly to her, stating that since she requesting and was not willing to open the folder, I had revoked her access to it-preventing an accidental send of unneeded important and personal documents. To streamline the whole process

2. I have written a general, formal "to whom it may concern" piece with the 2 documents she specially requested attached to the email so that THE ONLY THING SHE HAD TO DO WAS FORWARD THE EMAIL-just what she wanted.

After doing so, she has the audacity to BLAME ME. Blame me for doing what she wanted- writing a general letter with the 2 attachments.

Then complaining why I hadn't attached the other 15.

(Her reasoning for this was that : it's easier to open files when it's attached and not as a link to Google drive) Bruh all this does is save you like 2 clicks!! But no, to her it was too hard, too complicated.

When I explained that it is not possible as it would be over the email attached limit and that this was the reason to why I linked it all into a google drive folder.

Then she said why didn't I just send the folder then???

As if it wasn't what I did in the first place. The idea she rejected and complained about!!

So ofcourse I pointed this out. (At this point my brain was like, are you serious?? After all the bullshit you put me through. Internally I was fuming, i was livid. But my body couldn't is numb from all this bs-I couldn't believe it was real)

But in a standard matter. Even if you, the child-even as an adult, ever point out that they are wrong. It is NOT possible. In their eyes, they can do no wrong, it is you who is to blame. Who knows nothing.

Seriously in other situations like these be it from the most trivial of matters.

Even if you have the facts, science, hard evidence on your side. They will never admit they were wrong.

How could they? If they always had (and unfortunately possibly forever) treated you as a clueless nobody, whose opinion don't matter, who even providing solid evidence wouldn't change their mind. Especially if it's coming from you.

The most common and constant stupidest thing- that no matter which way you look at it, doesn’t make sense (cause it doesn’t) is.....

My parents forgetting which username and password (especially) that had used to create an account. This could range from emails, streaming services to basically anything you can thing of.  And asking me what password they had used. In which I would reply ‘I don’t know, how should I know? It’s your password.’ They would precedingly blame me for. A. Not knowing their password and/or username. and B. For talking back to them and not respecting adults/people older than me.

Every time this happens (which is almost everyday- and no i am not exaggerating--They don’t even bother remembering their pin to their laptop. I had already even stuck a sticker next to the mousepad with the pin and password written on it, yet they still ask, and get mad when i point out time and time again that it is already in front of them and only need to look down)