#parentingwoes

I have a fairy godmother. Her magic is revealed when I leave the house in a hurry, When all of the things accumulate, and the time lapses too quickly, and there’s always a deadline looming expectantly nearer; the thin hands of a cheap clock an assault on my mind. And the standards I once held rigid, identifying me as This and That, to myself and me alone Are not only lowered, but have plummeted to the depths of the un-emptied bin. Dishes in the sink from their breakfast, their clothes on the floor in the wrong room, beds as ruffled as their morning hair Wet washing in the machine, its cry for release a harbinger of my inability to manage it all. Dogs unkempt; a groom overdue My coffee tepid – warm enough to drink, out of desperation But not to enjoy And the repeated reminders going out to the children That I need their help to get us out of the house Go un-adhered to, And rightly so Because why shouldn’t they be lost in play, oblivious to the grown up structures of start times And neatly folded towels, Breathe out slowly once on the road, My resistance to the way things are Has diminished, and I resolve to Fix Everything Later. Alas! the day slides too quickly by, The strange world of minutes and seconds and hours framing the minutiae of a day, quadrants of time made achievable and pushing each of us ever forward, Un-relenting and increasing in speed at the moments we desire least, when there are too many Important Jobs To Do, but no bridge to reach such a destination. I have a fairy godmother. Her magic wand is dexterous; functional And only some will understand, the ways she aids my existence So that my mental health remains intact Is Invaluable When I walk in from work and see The sink is empty, and clean Dishwasher unpacked, re-stacked Benches wiped Beds made, toys tidied Bits and pieces collated, skilfully piled somewhere unobtrusive But not pretentiously And with no judgement. Cushions fluffed and straightened, throw not thrown but tucked Washing dry, folded and stacked, ready to be returned to its owners. Often, I come home to toilets cleaned, floors mopped And I wonder How Long This Magic will last. I have a fairy godmother She does not expect a thing She’s humble beyond belief, Her fairy dust is golden And it’s within these gratitude filled words That I want to say Thank you

I'm tired. And I feel like I'm not supposed to be. I'm tired of my house always being half messy. Things always being done a certain way or put somewhere "for now" because we lack the time and energy to figure out where it goes. I love my kids wanting mama but hate that I am always covered in drool, spit up, food, and dirt from them grabbing me. I hate that I'm considering cutting my hair again because the idea of needing any time to care for it makes me want to cry. I hate feeling guilty for sitting down and not cleaning. I hate that I don't drink enough water because I have doubts I will be able to go to the bathroom without it being a big production. I hate that my hands are cracking and bleeding because I need to drink more water and use cleanser instead of soap. I hate that the only way I can go to bed on time is by giving up any hobbies of mine. I hate that everything in my life feels half done. I hate feeling resentment towards my spouse for sitting down but I also hate asking them to get back up to do stuff. I love my kids and want to focus on each smile and laugh. I want to snuggle them all too sleep. I want less stuff so I can do that.... But that means I have to clean it all daily. I hate that my spouse keeps saying they will do things and I have to call them a liar because they don't account for the kids and something will always happen to block their plans. I hate that I'm usually mad at my cat for being in the way instead of loving and petting him.

“Real Mums”

A day in the life of; “mummy”

"Bad Mum Forces Toddler to Pee Himself"

GO TO SLEEP, CHILD!