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Turns out I'm as incompetent at language learning as suspected. How many times do you think I will have to repeat each language class to pass?

Some days I feel like I suck at my job. Like I'm incompetent. Can't figure out simple things. Can't get anything done right. Stupid mistakes. Like I should be putting in more effort, energy and time.

I'm tired. And I feel like I'm not supposed to be. I'm tired of my house always being half messy. Things always being done a certain way or put somewhere "for now" because we lack the time and energy to figure out where it goes. I love my kids wanting mama but hate that I am always covered in drool, spit up, food, and dirt from them grabbing me. I hate that I'm considering cutting my hair again because the idea of needing any time to care for it makes me want to cry. I hate feeling guilty for sitting down and not cleaning. I hate that I don't drink enough water because I have doubts I will be able to go to the bathroom without it being a big production. I hate that my hands are cracking and bleeding because I need to drink more water and use cleanser instead of soap. I hate that the only way I can go to bed on time is by giving up any hobbies of mine. I hate that everything in my life feels half done. I hate feeling resentment towards my spouse for sitting down but I also hate asking them to get back up to do stuff. I love my kids and want to focus on each smile and laugh. I want to snuggle them all too sleep. I want less stuff so I can do that.... But that means I have to clean it all daily. I hate that my spouse keeps saying they will do things and I have to call them a liar because they don't account for the kids and something will always happen to block their plans. I hate that I'm usually mad at my cat for being in the way instead of loving and petting him.