#parentingarticles

It is important for parents to realize the value of the time they give to their kids in this fast-paced modern lifestyle. It will make an impact on the social and emotional development of their child. It’s the meaningful time that bond’s the kids with their parents, not the costly trips or cool gifts. See also : Change Your Lifestyle Not Your Diet!

Your children replicate your actions, precisely. Surprise! Ok, we all understand that we, being the parentals, are closely examined by the toddler eye. We know this, and although we consciously tell ourselves we're going to keep the cursing outside the doors and the fighting with our significant others to a minimum, we often forget that it is not only our words that are imprinted on their tiny but oh so significant minds, it is our actions. Our actions, our habits, are what are replicated, and what's so destructive about this truth is that it is often not noticed until it's too late.

Habits of course, are built. They are done over and over and over again, until you stop acknowledging that you're doing them at all! It becomes part of your life, your routine. It becomes part of you. And these things, these habits, are so ingrained in your day that without being aware of what it is you're actually doing and why, your child is watching all of it, and because they correlate you with "what is right," They too will begin to act in the very same way.

Now the fact that your children replicate your habits, thus creating their own,does not necessarily have to be a bad thing. Habits come in two forms: good and bad. All good habits are created to serve a useful purpose; growth, while all bad do the complete opposite. They are the habits that keep you drifting, that destroy your health, or that produces disdain and resentment with your significant other. These are the "enemy" habits, and unfortunately, your child cannot tell the difference between these destructive, day to day "little" things, and the actions that stimulate growth. It is not their place to differentiate-- it is yours.

So the next time you put on your gym shorts and fight the forces of laziness, by doing that "in home" fitness program, ask your tot to join you. Include them in your habit, and make a point to influence the good of it. And on the flip side, the next time you acknowledge yourself doing something for no particular reason, or for a reason that promotes destruction, whether of your heath or your soul, make a conscious decision to replace it with some form of beneficial habit. it will be difficult, and perhaps you may find yourself content with it, but the question you need to ask yourself is whether or not it will benefit your child. Because if it will not benefit them the least bit, or if it will lead to some form of destruction, it is most definitely, time for a change.

I remember, not too long ago, hearing a quote similar to "be as a child," or "see like a child." All I know, is that it did not go as "act like a child." Regardless, the quote was of sincerity and wisdom. Immediately, I imagined the world throwing temper tantrums, kicking and screaming along the aisles in the grocery store and walking around with headless Barbie dolls- weird. Of course, at the time my three year old was demonstrating her authority, so anything "child-like" inevitably implanted a bitter taste in my mouth. However, after patiently enduring the "diva-tude," as I like to call it (deep sigh) I showed her mommy's demonstration of authority.

Discipline is a two-sided concept. You pray that you do not portray hippocracy and it hurts a little bit being the bad guy, but it is necessary, and in the end, if you do it appropriately, they'll thank you for it. I placed her in timeout and braced myself for the almighty wrath of "The  Aimslee Grace," and her ever-so-powerful ( and loud) scream. It's amusing almost, how such a rebellious, confident, little being, switches almost immediately into the damsel in distress, locked away by the cold-hearted, wicked mother, pleading, desperately for freedom. (They are not only smarter than most people may believe, but much more tricky and way more clever.)

I asserted my position as the authoritative figure, banging my chest triumphantly, and roaring in pride. I made it evidently clear that I...am... mother; queen of this house. ( Just for the record, and to create an accuracy in your mental image, I have only done this (literally) just once or twice. For the most part, I merely imagine myself acting in this manner.)

So, to sum up how the system in my house goes, ( clears throat)..

-Aimslee gets rebellious, steps a little out of the boundaries of "acceptable behavior,"

-throws a fit after being told no,

-enters time-out ( aka baby prison)...

-mommy turns into bad guy, and then, here's where it gets very interesting. After time out, after the reprimanding and the screaming, Aimslee, right after fleeing the "no no chair" comes over to me, almost every single time, and with tears still clinging to her long, baby-doll eye lashes, she says, with a smile "I love you mommy."

And this part, is where my heart officially, every time, sinks.

I don't remember, exactly how the quote went regarding us adults somehow being compared to children, but I do know that despite how angry Aimslee was with me, and despite how "mean" I may have appeared, Aimslee, every time, forgives me. Children, so young, forgive, flawlessly. So perhaps it is not " see as a child" or "be as a child" but rather, "forgive like a child."

Yes, there is such a thing, because I say so. Kids have a time out when they misbehave. I realize that a lot of people consider "jail" as a time- out for adults, but I must believe that there's a median, for my own sanity. We, as parents, no... as people, mess up all too often. It's life. We do completely unfortunate and unbelievable things. Because of this, I'm creating "Parent's Time-Out." Time-out, as defined by the dictionary I googled up, is: a quiet period used especially as a disciplinary measure for children.

 My definition that I'm going to use in defining this parental disciplinary tool,  is simply the first three words of that; a quiet period.

We get stressed out. We scramble to our jobs, to our obligated appointments, and to our soccer games. We are scrambling constantly, and rather than producing yummy cheesy eggs ( scrambled eggs, get it?) we're producing obnoxious headaches and regret. Regret for missing life's most valuable moments simply because we're too busy to take the "time out" of our lives to witness them, to cherish them, to breathe them into our hearts. This is our trouble. This is our problem.. our "no, no.". This is when parental time-out is needed.

  Much like childhood time-out, we must look back on what has led us to the situation we are currently in, and what we must do next time confronted with such an instance. Although we aren't "grounded" for hitting, screaming blood curling screams in the middle of the grocery store, or stealing our friends barbie dolls (well, the majority of us anyways), the concept is the same. We've messed up and we need to concentrate on what has happened, why it happened, and how to fix them in the future.

  So how do you fix your "need to do over" moments? You don't. You can't, because regardless how super fantastic it would be to own a remote, controlling both the past and the future ( rewind, fast forward, pause, and my ideal "mute" button,) it does not exist, (after extensive research, I have come to this conclusion) and we, unfortunately, cannot erase and start over what we have already written into our lives. Like a rebellious child, or any three year old, for that matter, you're learning. You're testing your limits and you're absorbing the reactions to every one of your actions. I cannot stress, how important a little time-out can be, not only to your child, but to you as well. It's a teaching tool in it's self.

    So, the next time you know that you've done wrong, that you've missed something you shouldn't have, said something you regret, or maybe you're just feeling completely unbalanced, stick your nose in the corner and simply allow your mind to go over the current situation you're in. 

You'll be absolutely amazed at how a little time-out, can teach us, even as adults.

  May you all "think about what you have done,"