My prednisone is killing me.

I’m jittery.

I’m antsy.

I’m anxious.

And all I want is for Munchkin turn off Justin Beiber.

I despise Justin Bieber.

Please make him go away.

I’m also feeling really guilty that our oldest cat has been on prednisone for five years because he has autoimmune hemolytic anemia and I now understand why he’s a constant grump. I feel so bad that my little dude feels like this all the time.

my heart

both me and partner are burnt out

dunno how the next few weeks are gonna go but it aint gonna be oretty or easy...

having a baby is so outrageously difficult without a proper social circle, it's very bad even

and like, we're both lucky enough to have parents who contribute as much as they can

but fuck it's just not enough, at this point it'd take a live-in nanny to get us through things, because we're both just completely burnt to crisps...

and now Ade's teething. and only wants to sleep on my chest. gonna see if he'll lay in bed with me, but he didn't let me last night until 4am.

it's like, not humanly possible to survive on so little sleep. and I don't have enough help right now. I love him so much but this is also torture. I also have an irrational (?) fear of him being taken away from me bc I can't care for him by myself.

I know you shouldn't trust your brain after 4pm during daylight savings lmao but this is fucking painful and it feels never ending. I tried posting on reddit to see if I could find community with other disabled parents. it would be really helpful to know I'm not alone and although healthy parents can commiserate, it's seriously a special circumstance when you're chronically ill and disabled and trying to be a parent. I have to literally beat back the internalized ableist thoughts as I type that.