I think yall know how this will go...

Heavy (best dad-bear dad, will make pirosky and broscht ❤️-)

Scout (sports dad, will be a clown 24/7 to keep the litter entertained)

Engie ( bbq dad, dad jokes overload and maybe help his kids build a nuclear reactor for science fairs projects)

Demo ( kids and bombs dont mix well together - or mix really well depending on your humor - e.g. why youve been banned from all the public schools from the district for cherry bombs in locker rooms and stink bombs on the principals office)

Sniper ( kinda introverted, will have a heart attack/aneurism if his kids have parties in the house while his there, but hey- camper dad, his kids want to go to Disneyland? Buckle up and pass the snacks front, lil ankle bitter, we goin road tripping through the states tonight )

Medic (he will try to get the kids interested in doctor stuff- traumatic or fascinatingly morbid- depending on the kids)

Pybro (kinda goodish-wont hurt them but they get distracted easily and in all honesty, couldn't care less about kids)

Spy - He’d like something French and elegant, but not so overly fancy that it draws unnecessary attention. For a girl he’d like Rose, Juliette, Camille, or Anna. For a boy he’d like August, Hugo, Thomas, or Lucien. 

Sniper - Just something simple and nice. Maybe Emma, Hannah, or Layla for a girl, and Jack, Logan, or Harry for a boy. He also likes a couple gender-neutral names like Riley and Sam. But he’s also the most likely to let his partner pick the name because he feels like he isn’t good at naming things. 

Medic - Something over the top and probably ancient Greek. For a boy he likes Dorian, Phoebes, Ulysses, Hector, and Hades (yes, he would name his child that, because he knows it would be metal as fuck). For a girl he’d like Cassandra, Penelope, Phoebe, Calliope, and Hermione. 

Scout - He likes names that are short and sporty-sounding. For boys he likes Jackson (Jackie for short), Tommy, or Danny. For girls he likes Jamie, Aubrey, or Sadie. He’s really attached to those y/ie endings. 

Pyro - Something cutesy, maybe stolen from a children’s character, and sometimes a little odd. For a boy they’d like Oliver, Wilbur, Christopher, or Elliot. For a girl they’d like Bambi, Genie, Junebug, or Winona. But they’re also a huge fan of gender neutral names like Harley, Angel, Avery, and Shiloh. 

Soldier - Of course he’d name his child something America-themed. For a boy he might name him Washington, Edison, Jefferson, or Franklin. Basically any founding father. For a girl he might have to get more original and name her either America or after a state like Georgia, Virginia, Alaska, Dakota, etc. 

Heavy - It just has to be Russian and nice; nothing too weird that Americans won’t be able to pronounce, in case he is raising them there. For girls he’d like Anastasia, Inna, Katerina, and Polina. For a boy he’d like Alexei, Dmitry, and Sergei. 

Demo - The most Scottish names he can think of. He’d like Ainsley, Effie, Maisie, and Eilidh for a girl. For a boy he’d like Angus, Hamish, Fergus, Lochlan, and Finlay. You will be hard-pressed to talk him out of these. 

Uno. Sorry not sorry the only Stalker i know is the one in Chernobyl

Jokes aside

Scout: freaks tf and tries to intimidate the stalker, gets beaten and basically both now are in medics infantry, with medic contemplating doing a live surgery to see what makes the stalker do the whe stalking thingie

Soldier: either doesnt understand so he doesnt give a hoot or puts his raccoons on watch. No man, crazy or not, will try and get close to you anymore, not with 10 feral garbage cats on your side

Pyro: step 1. Try be frends

Step 2. stranger is mean so no frends

Step 3. korean barbecue ala Hannibal Lecter style

Engineer: jeez luise that guy is giving him the heebie Jeebiez. Well he talks to him, explains that yes hes an old fat bald fuck, but you see son, you really dont want a military caliber weapon pointed on you so yeet or youll be yeehawed straight to jezus door

Demo: if he drunk: beats the guy till his body becomes iridescent purple

Sober: say bye to your kneecaps nitwit

Heavy: yea the guy will become bear food, nough said

Medic: EXPERIMENT TIME BITCHES! R/N take notes tonight we do a live brain surgery on a mostly alive man

Sniper: nothing personal, but noone is a bigger stalker than him so fatherly long limbs over here will magically take his gun and somehow the guy will experience massive hemorrhage and instant death by a lead clot

Spy: he knows. dont worry.

Sniper/Engie/Heavy.exe has stopped, please sir/mam/mentlegen, he is fainting

Spy has a heart attack

Scout/Demo/Engie? Are so damn happy they almost jump hug them all, knocking a nurse or two in the way

Ngl those are so wholesome

Scout: he will get emotional the first time he hears his child say "dada". Hell swoop them up and just blubber while praising them...in the long-term, we S/O prepare to have one adult and one smaller troublemaker to look after

Soldier: he is beyond proud, he considers it among the highest achievements of his entire life. He will protect them with his life and teach them how to snap necks the moment they reach puberty( for self-protection purposes S/O , he promises)

Engie: he gives them the tightest bearhug he has given in years and just treasures the moment. He will try his darnest to make them happy, even if they dont follow his career path. He wont work as much anymore just to be sure hes around and his child has him as both an anchor and a teacher

Demo: boy oh boy he gonna cry. Something inside him just erupted and he cant express it. This also is the only motivation he ever needed to stop drinking completely. He wont even drink beer anymore because he needs to be sober to be there both for his S/O and his child

Heavy: he is shocked. He half expected his child to be terrified of him due to his large size, but he cant contain his joy when his child calls him daddy for the first time. He will try to spend as much time as possible with them and make sure they are ready to phase life and that he will always be there to protect them. In a weird way he feels completed. He always wanted to be a dad and concidering he barely met his, its a weird self filing thing.

Medic: ngl he will spoil them rotten. He never thought hell be a husband/boufriend to S/O let alone have kids with them so all this has hitten him like a wall of bricks. He might be a bit unstable at times but he adores his children and will do anything in his power to keep them healthy and happy

Sniper: he cries. A lot. He doesnt know why or how his child is so attached to him but a big part of him doesnt like that. He thinks hes too antisocial or too strange for a father. But with help from S/O he will learn to move on and will be always there for his kids no matter what. Hell even play dress up with them or take them to games and fairs.

Scout: he won’t shup up after the birth, just trying to talk his nerves away but will freeze like a deer in the headlights when hes given the baby. His eyes water up and he craddles them. He is speechless and makes mental prayes and promises in his head how he will be always there for them and will give him everything he has for a better life

Soldier: he is suprisingly calm and collected, its almost like hes either having a spiritual experience or he is havinga ptsd flashback. He waits for the doctors/midwife to clean up the baby while he just sits there holding your hand a bit  tight. He wants you first to hold the child and after you havethat bonding moment he will hold it and sniffle “Welcome home little soldier, you just succeeded your first mission” and just holds them like the precious bundle of joy they are

Engie: emotional is an understatement. Hes the closest to bawling hes ever been in his life and he barely holds it together. He can’t wait and awkwardly hugs you while you are holding the baby. He just blubbers some comfort words and just stares at your child and then back out you, he cant believe this is real, itsjust way to real and he is a mess

Demo: he is sober and basically has the quitetest mental breakdown he has had in his life. He is shaking and when he is given the baby he just holds it close to his chest, stands up then walks up to you and gives you to hold them while he bear hugs you both. He kisses both of your foreheads and he has the sweetest smile he has ever had in decades

Heavy:he looks like he has experienced the Gulags all over again, it hurts him beyond comprehension when he sees you in pain but he also knows that birth like all things in life isnaturally painfull and he aint a wuss to  not assist in the delivery room. He just takes the baby with both hands and just promises to them in Russian he will always be there for them to protect them with his life.

Medic: he is the doctor so he is the one who first holds them, but he also knows skin-to-skin contact is essential for newborns so without a second thought,almost mechanically he cleans them up and gives them to you.Then he snaps, throws the gloves away and just wraps you all in his arms while crying in german( headacanon he has the twin seed inside him)

Sniper: he is terrified. This is way too real and he cant believe his eyes. He holds them like he was to holda newborn sheep and just looks at them like he can’t believe thats real, the baby is here not in Y/N belly and he is currently holding them. Just stares and tries to photograph them forever in his mind.” Welcome lil roo, daddys got you and he’ll never leave you”

Spy - His initial reaction is confusion when he can’t figure out why they’re crying. He’s cycling between checking their diaper, offering them food, and just trying to comfort them with sleepily mumbled French. If it goes on for too long he’ll start to get stressed, and once its over he’ll get himself a glass of wine before he goes back to bed. 

Sniper - If anyone else on the planet woke him up in the middle of the night, they wouldn’t survive. But since it’s his baby, he’ll very tiredly go pull them out of their crib and gently bounce them in his arms, talking to them soothingly like he would a wild animal. When they don’t stop crying right away he’ll take them outside on a little walk to look at the stars and help distract them until they fall back asleep. 

Medic - He’ll try to distract them by making funny faces, playing peekaboo, or showing them little magic tricks until they get so caught up in it that they stop crying. Children and babies love him and how silly he seems, so he’s rather talented at cheering up infants.

Scout - He’s a little frantic at first because he really doesn’t want his partner to wake up. He’ll try reasoning with the baby at first. “You gotta be quiet okay, sport? You’re gonna wake the whole block up. Then you’re gonna go to baby jail for disturbing the peace.” When he remembers babies don’t understand English, he’ll give his baby one of his fingers to suck on like a pacifier, and he might even bring them back to bed with him and let them sleep on his chest. 

Pyro - They always feel awful when they see their baby cry, so trying not to cry themself they scoop their baby up in their arms and try to make soft comforting noises, kissing the baby’s head repeatedly and rocking them slowly. If that doesn’t work, Pyro will try to distract them with a stuffed animal or something colorful/sparkly. 

Soldier - This baby has to be incredibly loud to have wake him up in the middle of the night, and he’s almost proud. “Son, you have a beautiful battle cry but now is not the time.” When he realizes his baby isn’t going to stop crying anything soon he’ll just lie down on the floor with his baby on his chest, and eventually they’ll both fall back asleep there. 

Heavy - He’ll talk to them at first in a deep, tired voice. “Why is baby crying? There is nothing wrong. You are waking up parents.” When he sees they don’t plan on stopping crying anytime soon he’ll sit down in a nearby chair and rest the baby on his chest so they can listen to his heartbeat. After a while that should do the trick to calm them down. 

Demo - He feels bad for the baby more than anything else; he hates when they’re upset. He’ll try to tempt them with one of their favorite snacks and if that doesn’t work he’ll turn on a little kids show that they liked with the volume down low to hopefully get their attention.

Spy - He’s naturally a very observant man so he had his suspicions already, so when his child tells him that she’s a trans girl he isn’t shocked. He makes sure to listen to everything she has to say, and he can tell she’s very nervous. But when she’s done explaining herself, he’ll simply say, “Alright. Let’s go shopping, then.” Buying her an entirely new wardrobe with clothes that she genuinely feels comfortable in is the best way he can think to show his support. He asks her a lot of questions like whether she wants to grow her hair out, if she wants to wear makeup, etc. It’s very important to him that she knows he supports her completely.

Sniper - When his daughter first tells him she’s a girl, he just stares at her. It goes on for a good twenty seconds to the point she’s starting to freak out a little internally, before he finally chuckles and says, “You know, when you were born I thought I was getting off the hook from having to raise a girl, but I guess not, huh?” He gets up and hugs her, something he doesn’t do too often since he’s not a touchy-feely kind of man. He really doesn’t know how to raise a daughter at all, but he’s proud of her for telling him and he says the two of them can figure it out together. He’ll make a good effort to use the correct pronouns, but he’s not much help when it comes down to her transition because he simply doesn’t know a thing about being a girl. He ends up having to go to outside sources for help, asking Spy about women’s fashion and Medic about medical transition (if that’s something she wants to do). He’s a bit nervous about the whole thing because it’s such new territory but he’ll do anything to help his daughter be who she is. 

Medic - He’s genuinely caught off guard. He can be a bit oblivious when it comes to things that aren’t science, so up until that point it hadn’t even occurred to him that his child might be trans. He has to sit down just to process it, but he makes sure that his son knows it’s not a bad shock, just a shock. Once he gets over the initial surprise, he’s completely fine with it. It’s clearly very important to his child, so he cares about it, but he doesn’t see it as a big earth-shattering change. It’s just a change that he sees as part of his child growing up, and part of his job as a parent. It’ll take him a while to get used to using he/him for his son just because he has to break the old habit, but he’s completely supportive. If his son wants to get gender reassignment surgery or go on testosterone, Medic will want to be the doctor to do it so that he can make sure his son is getting the best treatment possible. 

Scout - Like Medic, he’s very surprised. He just keeps repeating stuff like, “Really? Are you sure? Geez, I didn’t realize... really? That’s cool- I mean, that’s great, ya know? Whatever you want. Not that you just want to be a guy, I just mean- that’s great-” He has no idea what to say, but he really is okay with it. He reassures his kid that he always did want a son, so this worked out pretty sweet. His gut reaction is to go play baseball with him, because he thinks that’s a pretty manly thing to do and will help his son feel supported (even though they’ve been playing baseball together this whole time). He doesn’t really know what to do or what steps to take, so he’ll just let his son tell him what he wants and he’ll go with the flow. He gets very defensive of his son if anybody misgenders him, saying stuff like, “Yo, are you fuckin’ blind? He’s obviously a boy, dumbass, come on. I think I know my son better than you do, pally.”

Pyro - They immediately start crying, and at first their son panics because he thinks they’re upset with him, but they quickly tell him that they’re just so happy for him to be figuring out who he is and that he trusts them enough to share it with them. Pyro has always been a very accepting parent and was never one to push gender roles on their kid, but they know it can still be scary even if you know your parent will be supportive. They’ll give him a huge hug and go bake him his favorite flavor of cake in celebration. They’re super excited to help him transition, and they’re supportive no matter how he wants to go about it. 

Soldier - Since Soldier is such a man’s man, his kid is extremely anxious over telling him she’s a girl. But Soldier accepts it pretty much immediately, without a second thought. It makes almost no difference to him what gender she is, as long as she’s still his kid and she can still snap a neck if she needs to. He would have no problem switching to the new pronouns, and he will very loudly correct anyone who uses the wrong ones. He’ll help her with her transition if she asks and he’d happily pay for new clothes, but he won’t go out of his way to treat her differently. They’re still the same kickass family, which is all that matters. 

Heavy - He figured out a while ago that his child was a trans boy, but he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to force his son to come out to him before he was ready. So when his son finally tells him, he just goes, “Da. Is good.” He gives him a pat on the head and that’s that. Since he knew it was coming, he doesn’t have any problem using he/him pronouns. He’ll offer to help his son work out more so he can bulk up and pass better. The only trouble he has is that if his kid wants to change his name to something more masculine, Heavy at least wants to help him choose, since he gave him his birth name to start with and he thinks its only fair he gets to help pick his new name.

Demo - He just laughs at himself for not having realized sooner and he says something like, “Well that’s the shock of the century!” He’ll simply ask his daughter what he can do to make her happy and more comfortable, since that’s the most important thing to him. He’s so proud of her for figuring this out, and he sees it as a wonderful thing they should be celebrating. He’s kind of ecstatic about it, and if his daughter is okay with him telling other people, he’ll keep going around like, “Did you hear I have a daughter? Isn’t that great? Can you believe that?” He’ll want to throw her a big ‘coming out’ party when/if she’s ready for that. He doesn’t normally send out formal invitations for parties but he will for this one because he wants to print cheesy “It’s a girl!” cards.