Itās odd to me that BD and his family have made comments saying that I hate him. Yāall, I truly donāt hate anyone. Who has that kind of time and energy? Also, if it werenāt for him, I wouldnāt have the child that is A. For that reason alone I could never truly hate him.
Do I like him? Not really, but it isnāt simply because heās her biological dad and therefore I think heās the enemy or whatever else they may think. Itās because he doesnāt treat me like a human deserves to be treated (let alone the mother of his child), and heās far from a āgood dadā or even a dad, really. All of this will eventually effect A, and that truth eats at me every day.
Weāve done our best to shield her from it. Her visitation isnāt every other weekend, itās two Saturdays each month so there is no set routine in going. I find this helpful because if she does go for a visit itās almost like a treat. We donāt tell her in advance about her visits because we donāt want to get her hopes up. We also never say āyouāre going to go see your dad todayā. We say āyouāre going to go visit your grandparents todayā. Her visitation takes place at the grandparentsā house so we do know that at least they will be there. Also this is to not get her hopes up that heāll be there in the event that he doesnāt show (which certainly does happen).
Also, with the way he speaks to me, and has spoken to me for majority of the time Iāve known him, why would I want her around someone like that? He has literally fussed at me for trying to help move our visitation around to help him see her. He didnāt prompt that conversation either, I did, and I got yelled at for it. He is also emotionally abusive. My child doesnāt deserve that, and although he hasnāt been that way to her yet (that I know of), itās only a matter of time before he does. This is a hard reality to swallow and Iām hoping wr can dampen the effects as much as possible.