Itâs odd to me that BD and his family have made comments saying that I hate him. Yâall, I truly donât hate anyone. Who has that kind of time and energy? Also, if it werenât for him, I wouldnât have the child that is A. For that reason alone I could never truly hate him.
Do I like him? Not really, but it isnât simply because heâs her biological dad and therefore I think heâs the enemy or whatever else they may think. Itâs because he doesnât treat me like a human deserves to be treated (let alone the mother of his child), and heâs far from a âgood dadâ or even a dad, really. All of this will eventually effect A, and that truth eats at me every day.
Weâve done our best to shield her from it. Her visitation isnât every other weekend, itâs two Saturdays each month so there is no set routine in going. I find this helpful because if she does go for a visit itâs almost like a treat. We donât tell her in advance about her visits because we donât want to get her hopes up. We also never say âyouâre going to go see your dad todayâ. We say âyouâre going to go visit your grandparents todayâ. Her visitation takes place at the grandparentsâ house so we do know that at least they will be there. Also this is to not get her hopes up that heâll be there in the event that he doesnât show (which certainly does happen).
Also, with the way he speaks to me, and has spoken to me for majority of the time Iâve known him, why would I want her around someone like that? He has literally fussed at me for trying to help move our visitation around to help him see her. He didnât prompt that conversation either, I did, and I got yelled at for it. He is also emotionally abusive. My child doesnât deserve that, and although he hasnât been that way to her yet (that I know of), itâs only a matter of time before he does. This is a hard reality to swallow and Iâm hoping wr can dampen the effects as much as possible.