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WAIT i wonder if the toilet john's ashes got flushed down was the same toilet that matty shoved vic's head down when they were teenagers
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âFate has never treated me kindly.â
Sir, you are rich, immortal, and immediately embraced by almost everyone you meet.
The only truly bad thing that ever happened to you was a direct result of your inability to keep your gentleman sausage contained during that brief visit to Martinique.
I love time travel ff's, alternate timelines, parallel universes literally anything that can help me pretend Order 66 never happened and Anakin never fell
Why did Barnabas even think that going through a time portal would un-vampirize him?
Like. Why would that have worked?
And now youâre trapped in a parallel timeline with only the money in your pocket, and Willie and Carolyn are like, actually smart here.
Not good, dude. Not at all good.
I hate to say this, but the first season of Sunset Beach (NBC, 1997) did a far more competent job of plagiarizing Daphne du Maurier.
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âIâve only known you for a few hours; how would I know whether youâre telling the truth?â
Another Critical-Thinking win for the Parallel Timeline Collinses.
Maybe this is the timeline where Collinsportâs waterworks arenât molded entirely from lead?
Oh man, either:
A) Quentin / Maxim De Winter killed Angelique (with Poison-brand poison, I presume)
B) Angelique / Rebecca De Winter went full Amy Dunne and is framing Quentin
C) Maxim Quentin attempted to kill Angelicca, but he couldnât really kill her because sheâs an immortal witch, so she invoked her backup identity / âidentical twin From Europeâ˘ď¸ (who mysteriously never, ever visited before)â to torture him.
Itâs definitely C, isnât it. Because the logic of this showâs plot is consistently, like, the reverse of Occamâs Razor. Occamâs Cudgel.
Thereâs a lovely symmetry in Smart!ParallelTime Willie Loomis locking Barnabas into a coffin.
