#paragus

give it a rest vegeta you cant compete with gokus main character vibes

im not sure hit would want to handle the drama of being part of a fight triangle with two saiyans though. he might have to pass

it does kinda crack me up that broly joins them both on beerus's planet post-movie in the manga and doesnt even have any beef. he was raised to hate vegeta his whole life. did he just decide he didnt care anymore or that vegeta was a baby so it doesnt count? and he has goku levels of tolerance for vegetas bitchy attitude and doesnt get mad at him? really funny concept i love you broly

some manga bits im talking abt under cut cause they crack me up

A trip to hospital is never a good news so that fic legit makes my night

The unofficial sequel to Broly gets a job at the Krusty Krab which can be read here

'My head is killing me...'

The saiyan tried to get up but was gently pushed back down.

"Hey, he's waking up!"

Broly stared at the blob in front of him as it began to take shape.

"Stay still please! My friend is just getting some ice. You were out cold when we found you and I think you fell on your head..."

'Well that explains the headache. - Wait!' 

"Where am I?"

The young girl then began to explain the situation to him.

"Well I guess dealing with giant bugs is better than being underwater..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Suddenly giant footsteps were heard.

"Cheelai, I'm back!"

"What took you so long?"

"Well I had to go all the way back to Earth to get ice and then it melted so I just brought the whole North Pole with me."

A polar bear then gave a roar.

"YOU HAVE TO PUT THAT ALL BACK RIGHT NOW! I CAN'T GET IN TROUBLE FOR STEALING AGAIN!"

"Just let me see how our guest is doing."

"...Fine!"

The man then gave a gentle smile and snapped off a palm sized portion of ice from a glacier.

"Here. It's not much but I hope it helps!"

Broly cautiously took the ice while looking over the man in front of him.

'For someone so shabby I thought he'd talk like a caveman but he seems completely normal. Actually scratch that. Something still seems off!'

He then felt his ki level.

"...You're saiyan, aren't you...!?"

"Am I? I mean you're not wrong but I don't think it counts since I lost my tail. Cheelai, can I still be a saiyan without a tail?"

"How the heck should I know!?"

"Enough!"

The air was now filled with a tense silence.

"Who are you!?"

"I'm Broly."

"That's impossible!"

"What are you talking about you creep!? I've known Broly for the last few months and you're the one who just showed up here all of a sudden!"

"STOP MESSING WITH ME!"

"Lemo, help us out!"

A faint yell could then be heard from the kitchen.

"I think I heard the oven ding!"

"We don't even have an ove-"

"STOP!"

Broly, well Z Broly, rubbed his aching temples.

"If you're me then who's our father!?"

Super Broly then started to cry and ran to the bedroom to excuse himself.

"What the hell was that for! He's been really sensitive about Paragus since he died-"

"WHAT!?"

He knew he lost his sanity some time ago but this was new.

"BROLY!"

"WHY AM I HEARING HIS VOICE NOW!?"

"BROLY!"

"SHUT IT OLD MAN!"

Broly lunged forward but was met with nothing but a cold sweat.

"You were having another nightmare..."

"Oh?"

"Get some rest son. I'm going to speak with the doctor tomorrow about upping your medication..."

"Ugh!"

He looked at the picture frame next to his bedside. It was a photograph of him and his other father, Takao Koyama.

"It's good to be home!"

----------

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO!?"

The doctor/octopus sighed.

"I can't keep supplying you with drugs Paragus, I'm already at risk of losing my license... Besides, what that boy needs is therapy!"

"Therapy!? Do you know what happened the last time I tried that!? It ended up with a phone call about his repressed memories and by the time I got there I found him in the fetal position next to a blown up nursery!"

"Why did they have a mental hospital wing housed with a medical one?"

"...They didn't. Broly punched the therapist in the stomach so hard that the building collapsed. He then flew to the next available hospital which was three hours away..."

The doctor rushed to his storage supply and then took out a large amount of pills.

"Here is my entire stock of prozac! Now take it and leave!"

Paragus was then pushed out of the office and the door was slammed in front of his face. He just hoped to Kami that this would work.

----------

When Broly woke up he found a note.

"Dear Broly,

I've gone out to run some errands but I'll be back soon!

- Daddy'

"Does he think I'm five years old!?"

The saiyan was highly suspicious of the strongly out of character letter from his father but it could wait for the meantime. Right now it was time to scroll through Twitter.

"Sub vs Dub? What is this?"

He then scrolled through the post.

"Do people really have nothing better to do?"

He then went on one of his many alternate accounts and went back to retweeting all of Vegeta's posts with humiliating photos. Things ranging from his many defeats to eventually just conspiracy theories about how the prince's forehead was inspired by the McDonald's M.

@PrinceOfAllSaiyans

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY WIFE IS THE SMARTEST WOMAN ON EARTH AND SHE'S LOCATING YOUR IP ADRESS AS WE SPEAK!"

@HopeOfTheUniverse

"Calm down Vegeta! I for one would like to hear what this person has to say. Now, you mentioned something about the Majin symbol being involved in all of this. Can I ask you what your source is?"

Broly chuckled and then tweed back.

"My dad works at Toei, trust me"

@HopeOfTheUniverse

"That makes sense. Now that I'm thinking about it, Vegeta did kind of smell like fries when we fought"

@PrinceOfAllSaiyans"

KAKAROT, YOU CLOWN! HE'S OBVIOUSLY LYING! AND THE REASON YOU WERE SMELLING FRIES IS THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS HUNGRY!"

@HopeOfTheUniverse

"We don't know how this person identifies Vegeta! They may not even be a boy!"

@PrinceOfAllSaiyans

"ARE YOU SERIOUS-"

Before the man could reply back, Broly was already receiving another message.

@HopeOfTheUniverse

"Sorry about my friend. He's old and out of touch with this generation, I'm sure he didn't mean to offend you!"

@PrinceOfAllSaiyans

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I'M ONLY A FEW YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!"

Broly then decided to mess with him further.

"I'm beyond hurt by your friends words, it feels like he just stuck a knife through my chest"

He was trying not to cackle as he typed.

@HopeOfTheUniverse

"See Vegeta!? I told you that you need to be more sensitive!"

Goku then asked if an apology would suffice.

"He can go on the news and announce that he's deeply sorry for his actions and will become an ally to the LGBT community!"

@PrinceOfAllSaiyans

"WHAT EVEN IS LGBT!? A SANDWICH?"

"So he refuses then?"

@PrinceOfAllSaiyans

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to be apologizing for! Certainly not all the genocide I commited in my youth!"

@HopeOfTheUniverse

"Vegeta you can't just say that, you're going to get cancelled again!"

Broly then said that he could either apologize or let him date his son.

@PrinceOfAllSaiyans

"DISGUSTING!"

@HopeOfTheUniverse

"Not cool dude! Trunks isn't even 10 yet!"

"No, he's the most beautiful twunk I've ever seen! You can't sit here and tell me that the long lavender hair belonged to a child and not a young man who smelled of strawberries!"

@PrinceOfAllSaiyans

"WAIT A MINUTE, WHO IS THIS!?"

Broly then nuked his account. He wasn't sure if he just violated the restraining order his princess gave him and he wanted to get rid of any evidence just in case. He then felt a ki signature.

'Guess dad's back.'

Soon there was a gentle knock at his door.

"I'm back Broly. Dinner will be ready soon and I expect you to join me at the table..."

His son just shrugged his shoulders and ignored the threat. After all, what could the old man do? He was the legendary super saiyan and the crown was gone. In the end Broly decided that he would humor his father, if only to see what the man was up to. He then went on YouTube to kill some time.

"Hey, Para8 and 26 Hmtot uploaded today!"

----------

Paragus was currently in the kitchen and trying his best not to shit himself in fear.

"How the hell am I going to trick that boy into taking these!?"

He lifted his cape and pulled out hundreds of prozac pills. He lifted one to his good eye and read the contents.

"50 mg? That will never work!"

He pulled out a large bowl and took apart each capsule, dumping it's contents inside. It almost resembled some kind of sand. Paragus then looked through the pantry for something to mix it with. He started taking every vegetable can he could find and began synthesize some sort of broth from it. He then lit a small amount of ki to his finger tip and begun to heat up the bowl. It was now bubbling so he knew it was time to fetch his son.

----------

Paragus poured two bowls and began to try making small talk (there was no way he was eating this abomination).

"So son, how was your day?"

"Alright I guess. By the way I need to borrow your credit card."

"What the hell do you need my card for boy!?"

"That figure is coming out in April and I need to preorder it!"

"Broly, I've told you this countless times, you can't continue to be a NEET! Besides, I thought you just bought yourself that figure you wanted!"

"It's not being a NEET if I can't hold a steady job because of trauma dad! And that was a different figure!"

"What's so special about this one!?"

His son then described the contents.

"So that's it? You're wanting me to give you $150+ just because it has different faceplates!?"

"Different faceplates AND hair sculpts!"

"I'm too old for this! Frankly I'm regretting letting you get that figure you just got weeks ago..."

Next to Broly was a third party action figure (he had tried to explain the difference to his father between these and bootlegs but it was like talking to a brick wall).

"It's not my fault that this had to replace my old one!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have broke it into pieces when you wanted to switch the neck peg?"

Broly's face soured. That was not a time that he wanted to remember. He grabbed his spoon and then gave his father a strange look.

"Is something the matter Broly?"

"Where's my drink?"

"Excuse me!?"

"I'm waiting old man!"

Paragus grumbled but remembered that it would all be worth it if his plan could be pulled off.

"And don't forget my coaster!"

His father then placed it between his fingers and flung it at him ninja style.

"Thanks pops. Wouldn't want to ruin anything valuable."

Broly then placed his coaster next to him which in reality was a scratched to hell DVD copy of Bio Broly. He looked at it and then placed it shiny side up.

"Disgusting trash!"

Paragus watched his son bring the spoon to his lips which felt like an eternity. Once Broly had a sip he let out a breath that he didn't know that he was holding. His son took a couple more spoonfuls and then stopped.

"Is something the matter Broly?"

The saiyan looked at his soup and then back to his father.

"This soup tastes sad..."

"Huh?" 

"Why did you pick depression as the flavour?"

Paragus was mentally freaking out.

'Is this some kind of side effect!? Why didn't that bastard warn me that something like this could happen!'

He then came up with a quick backup plan.

"Is that princess Trunks!?"

"WHERE!?"

Paragus then took advantage of his distracted son and quickly whispered "Nothing personal kid!" before titlting Broly's head back and dumping the bowl of soup down his throat.

"...Mm I don't.. feel so g-"

Before he could finish his sentence, a green light came from his abdomen right before he blew up.

"Shit! Not again!"

Luckily Broly wasn't dead, he just had he ability to keep surviving like a cockroach. He crash landed somewhere and just hoped that he wasn't going to take another hibernation period/bath in the ice. He opened his eyes and saw orange skies all around him.

"Stay here! I'm going to get help!"

Right before he passed out he saw a familiar green and purple.