#para005

Sam shifted the grocery bags to one hand, enough to unlock the front door and step inside. Surely, he could have taken a reasonable amount with him and brought the rest for a second trip but the cold Maine weather swayed him otherwise. The brisk wind followed him inside and he rushed to set the bags down and shut out the frosty air, thankful for the heat that soon enveloped him on his walk to the kitchen.

Two months (and a small chunk of his savings) later, the place was looking better. The walls patched and repainted, this time a soft white that brightened the space in a subtle way that the previous yellow lacked. He even managed to find some leftover fabric tucked away in a box in the upstairs attic, a long ago purchase from his mother.

A few rounds in the washer and a generous amount of color safe bleach made them fit for new curtains, the small, colorful sprays of flowers looking very reminiscent of the old curtains his mother had years ago. It felt right, having the kitchen back in some kind of order for Christmas. Sam didn’t want to dodge Stacy’s questions about the burn marks or why things remained somewhat icy between Sam and their father.

James appeared sober for the holiday, but Sam knew better. Christmas usually kept him in a slump. It’d been his mother’s favorite holiday and she usually went all out. It wasn’t unusual to find her bustling around the kitchen, the smell of cinnamon, butter, and sugar practically smacking them in the face from all her baking. Every inch of the house decked out because Maggie Evans never met a garland or poinsetta she didn’t like. The contrasts of Christmases with his mother and the ones without were stark. There’d been attempts. The earlier afters were half-hearted efforts from James to keep their traditions alive but Sam could always smell the whiskey on his father’s breath and the stronger  it got, the less James stopped trying.

But Sam tried; mostly for Stacy. And the two of them carried on the baking and decorations, attending mass and making Christmas dinner. They’d watch Christmas movies, with Sam doing impressions just to make Stacy laugh and overall, it was good. Their own little traditions.

With Stacy spending New Year’s Eve in Portland with friends, it freed Sam up to catch up on sleep. The prospect of hanging out at the bar didn’t appeal and he wasn’t exactly in the mood for drunk revelry. He’d found his father slumped in his chair, the television on an old black and white and a highball glass loosely clasped in his slackened grip. The last thing they needed was an accident on the first day of the year. And besides, it wasn’t the first time. The scene was a frustratingly familiar one. So much so that James didn’t even stir when Sam plucked the glass from his fingers, nor did he move when the TV shut off and Sam tossed a blanket on him. Later on, well into the early hours of the beginnings of 2019.

But Stacy was gone. And soon, he would be too.

In the back of his mind, however, Sam knew this arrangement, the back and forth between Boston and Castleport would come to a head. He felt tugged in different directions, trying to maintain the hold he had on the life he loved in Boston and the obligations that called to him in his hometown. And perhaps, it’d be easier to navigate if things were actually moving along with his own shop idea. Finding the building downtown had been a plus, but now he was stuck playing the waiting game with Hunter’s plot to...well Sam wasn’t entirely sure what specifically his friend had in mind but he was fairly certain it involved upstaging the senior Clarington.

Not to mention handling the bar. More and more, it seemed James was falling short of his duties. Marie had been a constant but Sam knew her patience with the elder Evans was wearing thin, no matter how much she seemed to understand. James had that way about him, not exactly ruining bridges with a full on fire but rather chipping away until the cracks formed and Sam couldn’t predict when it would all come crashing down.

Jaw clenched, he put away the groceries and found his way to the living room. He’d been surprised to see James there, perched in his old recliner and judging from the glassy look in reddened eyes, he was at least five drinks deep. Indeed, the bottle of Jameson beside him was only half-empty and Sam knew there’d be no stopping until he drained it all.

With a resigned sigh, Sam picked up the sketchbook he’d left on the coffee table earlier and turned to head to his room. No sense in dealing with it when he didn’t have to.

“Where’ve you been?” The quiet question caught him off guard and Sam stopped to face his father, whose gaze hadn’t lifted from the television and the movie playing on screen. Some classic black and white with Humphrey Bogart that Sam couldn’t recall, least off the top of his head.

“Grocery store.” It would have been fairly obvious, judging from the bags he’d hauled in but he was sure James didn’t even know what time it was, let alone being able to guess the rustle of plastic bags in a firm grip. And Sam wanted to be annoyed by that, but instead he found himself asking “Did you eat?”

James lifted a large hand and waved away the question. “S’fine. Went to the bar.”

So he was farther gone than the single bottle. Sam only just stopped himself from sighing, unable to find a response to any of that because it was obvious what his father had been doing at the bar and it clearly wasn’t working.

“The blonde. Behind the bar.”

Oh, right. He wouldn’t have known about Quinn being hired, nevermind that it was weeks ago. Even in a haze of alcohol, James could at least function enough to keep up with the goings on, but now it seemed even that was a struggle. “That’s Quinn. She’s new.”

“That ain’t Marie, kid.”

“I know. It’s Quinn. Fabray. She’s the new bartender.”

James barked out a sharp, dry laugh and lifted the glass to his lips for a long pull of his whiskey. “Russell Fabray’s kid? Yale got a bartending school now?”

Sam shrugged. He really didn’t want to get into the particulars of his hiring decision even though he could understand his father’s surprise. But Quinn’s business was her own, and she hadn’t broken anything so far, so he was fine with her being there. “She’s good and the bar needed the help. I made the call.”

James gave a small hum at that, only turning briefly to study his son before focusing back to the television. “She’s a ball-buster. They’ll like her.”

“Yeah.” It occured to Sam that this was the most he’d spoken to his father since Stacy had been there. With her gone, small talk seemed unnecessary. With his sketchbook in hand, he moved to head back into the kitchen to leave his father to his night of drinking that Sam would no doubt have to pick him up from.

The coffee was brewing and  he heard his father speak again, muffled by the noise of the drip and the action playing out on screen. James was busy pouring himself another (full) glass and Sam grimaced slightly when he knocked it back with nothing more than a gulp and soft hiss. “What?”

He wasn’t even sure if James’d been talking to him and was about to turn back when his father spoke again. “The alley. By the bar.”

Sam’s brow furrowed. “What about it?”

“The girl. In the alley.”

“What girl?”

“The gone one.”

Sam could feel the impatience rising, warring with his confusion. He didn’t have time for it, to play guessing games with a man so far left of sober. There was no way to even decode that and it seemed as if James had decided the ramble was enough, bright eyes already back to the television and ol’ Bogey, slinking around a darkened corridor with a pretty haired woman waiting in the shadows.

The Maltese Falcon.

Olive eyes narrowed, shifting between the screen to his father. “Yeah. I’ve seen it before.”

“She was there. I saw her.”

“That’s kind of the point, it’s the twist.” He sighed, feeling no less confused but in no mood to sort it all out. “Gonna go make some coffee. Seems like you need it too.” Sam didn’t wait for his reply, for the protest of ‘fine’ that would follow. He didn’t need his father completely shitfaced on a weekday, nothing to hinder his plans for leaving town as soon as he could.

Ever since the rangers had successfully completed their rescue mission of Tommy and Griffin, Kat had been walking on air. She was thrilled to have the men back home, safe from Devone’s gruesome grasp, but that wasn’t the only accomplishment fueling her chipper demeanor. She’d never lost faith in their abilities to succeed, of course, but seeing the team — her team — work together to accomplish a common goal had left her with an overwhelming sense of admiration and pride for the teens. It was an accomplishment she wouldn’t soon let them forget. Turning the unicorn bag over in her hands, she walked through the corridors of Brittany Hall, searching, peacefully, for room 214B. It was smaller than she’d remembered, and she momentarily wondered how such a place could contain the likes of ‘eurory’ (as they so dubbed themselves), but her thoughts were forgotten as she approached the room in question. When she got there, the room was open, and she could hear the faint sounds of rustling inside so she peaked her head in, leaning against the door frame. “Knock, knock,” She greeted, but her friendly smile faded as she noticed the intense amount of packing Eurydice was doing. “Going somewhere?”

To say that Eury hadn’t been feeling herself ever since her epic failure would be an understatement. Since leaving the care of Kat, she’d been miserable. She barely got out of bed, unless it was for classes, and her motivation was completely dead. It was like a part of her had died when Griffin plunged his knife into her stomach. Perhaps it was her faith in other human beings dwindling away, or maybe it was just hurt she was feeling from being betrayed by someone she once considered a friend. Whatever it was had driven her to want to escape everything, though. She wanted to get away from NYU, from her friends, and away from the responsibilities of being a ranger. As she shoved more clothes into her backpack, she didn’t hear the footsteps coming down the hallway, so when she heard Kat’s voice, she was a little startled. “What? No.” It was a lie, and both of them knew it, but Eury didn’t care. People didn’t really care about her, not even her own sister, so why would Kat care if she was really running away? “I’m just going home for a couple of days. Not that it’s any of your business. Shouldn’t you be busy making more serum with Syria? You’re going to need a new Red Ranger, so you better get on it.” Her tone was gruff, and she knew she was being harsh, but she’d never in her life been able to control her emotions. She always took her mood out on those around her, rather than confronting her feelings full on. Avoiding making eye contact with the woman who helped save her life, she zipped up her backpack and slung it over her shoulder before pulling her hood up over her head. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got somewhere to be.” Before turning around to face her mentor, she grabbed her sunglasses from the bedside cabinet, putting them on to hide her eyes. She definitely didn’t want Kat to know she’d been crying. “Don’t worry, I’m not joining Devone.”

Kat closed her mouth, narrowing her gaze at the younger woman. She spotted the lie a mile away, but there were several issues at hand here, the largest being that she felt the need to lie in the first place. It was clear to Katherine that the failure in the tunnel had been hard on the red ranger. Eury wasn’t her usually rambunctious self, and it was becoming a major cause for concern. Her face fell at the intentional dig, and Kat stiffened. She pursed her lips, giving a slight nod. “I suppose that’s fair,” she accepted. Her part in choosing these kids to be heroes weighed heavily on her conscious, but she hoped, in time, that they would grow to understand. There was so much they didn’t know; so much unaccounted for. “But I’m not a chemist,” she cracked a small smile, hoping a friendly gesture would defuse the situation. “I hardly doubt it’ll work out so well.” Sighing, she crossed her arms across her chest and allowed a moment to pass. “I’m sorry, Eurydice,” her voice softened. One of the hardest parts of being a mentor was holding her own emotions back. Stepping forward, Kat closed the door gently behind her but did not progress any further into the room. “When I made my selection, it was for keeps.” In any other situation Katherine would have laughed at the ridiculous getup Eury had donned, but she didn’t have the heart to do it now; not when things were clearly so serious. “You’re free to do as you wish, but you are the red ranger of this team. Like it or not, the others look to you for guidance, and even if we could create some sort of transference, I wouldn’t. Regardless of what happened, I know I’ve made the right choice. It’s up to you to believe that too.” Shifting on her feet, Katherine absentmindedly rubbed her arm. “Why don’t we have a seat?” she suggested, motioning to one of the beds. Joining Devone was the least of Katherine’s concerns after they’d been subjected to the misery he caused, but it was clear they couldn’t go on like this. “Come on. Take off your glasses, and let’s talk about what’s on that mind of yours. I’m sure whatever’s waiting for you will still be there when we’re through. You’re not expecting anyone are you?”

Eury was a little shocked that Kat agreed that her bitter words were fair. She at least expected her to argue back a little, and tell her that she had no choice. But she did have a choice, and she’d chosen them to become the Power Rangers, and Eury had no idea why. She especially didn’t know why she’d been chosen as the leader, when she was clearly one of the most irresponsible team members. “It’s fine,” Eury lied as she heard Kat’s apology. She didn’t need her to say sorry, she needed her to reverse what she’d done to her. Yeah, it was pretty cool being able to make fire with your hands, but it was also cool to be a normal human being. “So, what you’re saying is that I can choose not to fight, but you won’t find a replacement? That’s kinda shitty, Katherine. It’ll make the rest of the team blame me when things go wrong. I’m not a leader. I can’t lead. How do you know you made the right choice? Do you not remember how fucking mad you were at me and Rory when I did lead? I was the wrong choice. You should’ve chosen Bianca, she clearly does a better job than me, and you clearly trust her more. Or maybe you could even pick Reese.” As Kat gestured for Eury to sit, she sighed over dramatically before doing so. “If I take my glasses off, you’ll see how puffy my eyes are. I’m allergic to Rory’s perfume, so like… They get really red…” She truly hoped the blonde would buy that lie as she removed her sunglasses and put them in her pocket. “No, I’m not expecting anyone. Rory and Aspen are doing stuff today, which is why I was packing while I had peace.” Shifting awkwardly in her seat, Eury suddenly felt very put on the spot. It kind of felt like she was back in therapy. “Look, doc, I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with me. I got stabbed by someone I considered a friend, and I’m over it. Look, even my body is over it,” she said as she lifted up her hoodie and shirt to reveal a faint line where her wound once was. “I got betrayed by another person I considered a friend, who was working with you all along, but that’s fine. She’s also Devone’s daughter, which is really fucking fine.” It was obvious that Eury was getting a little worked up as her fists began to bunch, and her breaths became more rapid. “It’s also super okay that my sister disregarded everything I said about Griffin being dangerous, and basically just classed me as a liar and hung out with him anyway, in my home.” Standing up from the edge of the bed, Eury stepped forward and turned to face the wall, resting her palms against it as she put her head down and breathed deep to quell her anger and rising emotions. “I’m also totally cool with Bianca, Reese and that traitor Syria saving your husband, when you told me that I was the one chosen to lead. I was really fucking okay with you benching me like a naughty, misbehaving preschooler. And do you know what I’m the most fine with? Feeling like I’m not safe anymore. And feeling like all my friends have forgotten what happened to me, just because Griffin is back and being nice. I can’t forget. I don’t freakin’ get that luxury! I still have nightmares about what he did to me. When I look at him, I still see the guy who nearly ended my life. I don’t see what they see. I still see the monster who hurt me. I can’t forgive that, and I won’t forgive. So don’t even try to make me. You have no fucking idea what it’s like to be inside my head, and to feel the things I feel. I don’t want to be in the Power Rangers, I don’t want these stupid powers, I don’t want to be at NYU, and I most of all don’t want to be a burden to Aspen anymore. All I am for her is a chore, and I was forced on her. I was forced on Mrs. Holmes, too. I wanna leave here right now, and go somewhere far, far away. I don’t want any of this. I don’t need any of it. I don’t need anyone.” Her eyes were screwed shut tightly, and she could feel flames forming at her fingertips as she removed her hands from the wall.

Throughout the entire rant, Kat remained silent and still. She could see it clearly. Griffin’s blade had pierced far more than flesh and bone; it had cracked the surface, and as her affliction bled out, Eury shattered. The realization turned Kat’s stomach into knots, and her heart ached so strongly that she was sure it would split in two. Still, she waited patiently for her to get it all out. With her eyes trained on the younger woman, she waited to be sure she was finished before lowering herself to the edge of a bed. "I don't know where to begin," she confessed, motioning for Eury to join her. The issues at hand were rooted deep and could not be solved overnight. She’d been in difficult situations in the past, but despite any similarities, this was new. The five were rapidly becoming like children to her. Except she had no experience in being a mother. Folding her hands in her lap, she trained her eyes on her. “Eurydice, please. Look at me…” she requested gently. “I can't pretend to understand what you're going through. I don’t know what it’s like to have a family that doesn’t support me, and I don’t know what it’s like to feel betrayed by someone I love. But we’re not that different. I have a foster sister too, and up until she found her parents, I’m sure she felt the same way. It’s difficult not to, but it’s important to remember that you wouldn’t be here if they didn’t love you. There are options for children without homes, and as unfortunate as it is, welcoming them into our lives isn’t always one of them.” Pausing for a moment, she let that sink in. She didn’t have the answers; no one would, but she empathized with the woman. Watching her drag herself down wasn’t easy to watch. “It’s okay to be upset, but they don’t know the things we know,” she spoke gently. “That’s no excuse, but if we faulted every person who didn’t understand, we’d be fighting alone. You don’t want that.” Shaking her head, she motioned to a wide array of photos hanging on the wall on the other side of the room. She could see, clearly, the various faces of Eury and the other rangers that Rory had taken. “Angry or not, you are family. That doesn’t stop when you lay the armor down. As for Griffin, you need time to heal. How you choose to do that is up to you, but as someone who was in Griffin’s shoes once…” She hesitated, contemplating her words as a wave of remorse crossed her features. Looking to her hands, she spoke sincerely. “You can’t hate him more than he hates himself. As much as you need space, he needs support, and none of you are wrong. It’ll take some time to process, but they wouldn’t be doing this if they thought he could hurt you.” Catching her eyes, Kat sighed. Though her feelings were valid, there was so much of it she had wrong. “Do you want to know why I chose you as as a ranger.”    

Although she felt somewhat better after letting her anger come out through her words, Eury still couldn’t shake the feeling of annoyance, and also emptiness. Now that she’d said everything she felt out loud, she suddenly felt very hollow. Taking a seat next to Kat, Eury pulled her lower lip between teeth. She felt like she’d revealed too much to the older woman, and that she now knew her weaknesses. Turning her head, she finally let her eyes lock with Kat’s; she had eyes that reminded her of her mother's. They were soft, welcoming, and familiar. Although Eury didn’t have many memories of the woman who gave birth to her, one thing she always remembered was the way she looked at her whenever she fell down and scraped her knee, her eyes full of concern and sadness. Or the way her eyes lit up whenever her little girl was happy. Kat had the eyes of a mother, and for some strange reason, they made Eury want to stay put, rather than run and hide away. As Kat spoke, she found herself actually listening for once. Like, really listening to what she had to say, and not just pretending to. Nobody had ever sat down with Eury and really acknowledged her feelings before, but that was mostly due to her never confiding in anyone. “I just wish that I felt like I belong. I’m just… I always feel like I’m running 10 miles behind everyone else. Everybody has everything figured out, and they have families that support them and love them… Then there’s just me, and it gets lonely. I know that I have the rangers, but it’s not the same, Kat. I don’t have a mom, or a dad. Mrs. Holmes is amazing, and I love her, of course I do… But she’s not my mom. She’s Aspen’s.” Bringing one of her hands up to her face, Eury rubbed furiously at her eyes with the back of it. Crying was so weak. She was weak. “I don’t wanna fight alone, you’re right… I care about my friends, and I maybe even love ‘em. Griffin, too… That’s why it sucks so fuckin’ bad that he hurt me.” Eury’s brow furrowed as Kat mentioned how she’d once been a position the same as Griffin. That certainly wasn’t what she was expecting to hear. “Well, he might hate himself, but it doesn’t change the fact that I almost died. Nothing can change that. It’s something both me and him have to face. The others can trust him around me all they want, but I don’t trust him around me right now. I need to have my time away from him until I can believe he really is the person he was before Devone got to him again.” Eury could tell that Kat was being sincere in everything she said, but she could tell that she was also slightly rooting for Griffin to be granted forgiveness. “Everything is just a lot right now, and it’s tough. Other people can go call their mom, or hug their dad and feel like everything is solved, but I can only hug Rory and pretend that her impressions of Aspen make everything better. I just… I don’t know. Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow.” When Kat asked if she wanted to know why she’d chosen her as a ranger, Eury looked at her a little warily. “Because I’m violent and damaged, and you thought that giving me a purpose and magic powers would fix me?” Sighing heavily, she shook her head before offering Kat a half sincere smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. Why did you pick me?”

Once she was seated, Kat rested a palm on her shoulder and squeezed it softly. She often found comfort in touch — the connection providing both unity and stability in moments like these — and she hoped Eury could do the same. The struggle was not entirely unfamiliar to her, and the least she could do was sit and listen. It was hard, watching her so torn up inside, forced to confront terrible feelings that had likely been creeping up for years. She breathed deeply, wishing that there was some way she could ease the pain. “My intent is not to be right, Eurydice,” she offered a sympathetic grin. Pausing for a moment, she contemplated her words carefully. “When this whole thing started, I made myself a promise. I knew that choosing the next generation of rangers would mean forcing you all into a life that you didn’t ask for, and in doing so, you were compromised. That’s something I have to live with, but I promised myself then that I wouldn’t abandon you. I promised to train, develop and guide you, and if it comes down to it — I’ll stand by you too. I’ll fight, because you kids are not expendable to me. You’re not just heroes. I know it’s not the same as having a mom or a dad, but I am here for you, Eurydice. I’m not going anywhere. Believe it or not, we’re all new to this in a way. We’re in this together. So now I’m promising you too.” She leans in a bit, a warm smile on her face. She couldn’t ease the fear or erase the pain, but reassurance was something she could give. She closed her mouth for a moment, understanding the red ranger’s resistance towards Griffin. He hadn’t joined their team, but Katherine had hopes that he may one day change his mind. That couldn’t happen if he remained at odds with their leader. “You don’t have to smile and pretend everything’s okay if that’s not how you feel. There’s no need for facades when, quite frankly, you’re being fair to him. Sacrificing your own comfort to accommodate his would be an injustice to yourself, so as long as you aren’t closed off to healing, I’d say you’re on the right path. It’ll take time to come to terms with the things he’s done, for both you and him, but there’s no limitations on that.” She removed her hand from her shoulder and let it fall to her lap. Her face fell at the sardonic bite, but she held Eury’s gaze throughout it all, noting the apprehension written across her face. “First of all, you’re not damaged or in any need of fixing. I don’t want to hear that from you again. But second of all, I chose you because of passion. I actually wrote ‘a force to be reckoned with,’ and I stand by that statement. Honestly, I’ve always seen you as a little fearless, but I trust that that comes from your strength and desire to succeed.” Grinning, she couldn’t help but encourage. “You are one fierce woman, and your confidence, when you believe in yourself, is what’s going to lead your team to victory. The truth is, you’re already everything a leader needs to be. All that’s left to do is embrace it.”   

Eury’s eyes glanced at Kat’s hand which was resting on her shoulder, and she felt the pit of her stomach tighten. Her father used to do that exact same thing whenever he was leaving to go to work, or he was saying goodbye to her as she headed towards the door to leave for school. In fact, he did it the day he left. He squeezed her shoulder, smiled at her, and told her that he’d see her later. What a huge lie that turned out to be. “People promise to stick by people all the time, but it’s not...possible. At some point in life, everyone you trust is going to hurt you, or let you down. Even if they don’t mean to, or even want to. It happens. I don’t like promises, Kat. If you tell someone you’ll do something without promising it to them, then it doesn’t hurt as much when they don’t follow through with what they said. But when you promise someone something, that’s when it hurts. If you make a promise and you break it, nothing hurts more than that.” Eurydice knew that she was revealing too much about herself to her mentor, and letting her in on all her insecurities, but for some reason, it felt okay to do that with her. “Let’s just say that you’re going to try your hardest to be here for me, and to guide me. In turn, I’ll try my hardest to be a good ranger.” Eury was a little shocked that Kat was so okay with the fact that she didn’t want to forgive Griffin, or even be around him. She was half expecting her to teleport him into the room, and then force them to hug. As Kat removed her hand, Eury instantly missed the the warmth and comfort that it was providing her with, but she wasn’t going to admit that out loud. Kat could never know that she secretly craved human touch and affection as much as anybody else. As she listened to the woman explain why she picked her, she tried to ignore the emotions that began to overwhelm her. Nobody had ever liked her because of how fearless she could be, they’d only ever ridiculed her for it. Mostly because her fearlessness often took her down a path of violent destruction, so she couldn’t really blame anyone for not praising her for it in the past. “You’re not so bad yourself, doc,” Eury replied with a slight smirk. “I’m just scared that I’m going to get people hurt. I don’t want any of my team to get killed by Devone, or his stupid little minions. I just want to keep everyone safe, including you and Tommy.” Casting her eyes downward, she thought back to the tunnels, and how easily Rory got thrown around by Griffin. It made her stomach churn, and she closed her eyes, then shook her head to get rid of the image. “I don’t want to come back from a battle one day carrying a dead friend in my arms. If I fail at even the slightest thing, then it’s my team who suffer; not me. I’m violent, always angry, irritable, and impulsive. I’m all of those things and more, but... I want to be good. I wanna make up for things I’ve done in the past, and not be like my dad. If being the Red Ranger means that I can be a good person at the end of it all, then I’ll do anything to defeat Devone, and keep us all alive.” With a new feeling of determination washing over her, Eury turned her head to look Kat in the eye. “I won’t let you down.” With those words hanging in the air, she reached for Kat’s hand that was still resting in her lap and squeezed it. Not bothering to let it go, she turned her head to look at the backpack full of clothes on the floor in front of her. “I guess I’m not leaving anymore. You’re always going to be right around the corner, ready to pull me up about my rashness, huh?” Eury asked with a lopsided smile. “How annoying.”

Kat’s heart sank at the statement, not because she thought it might be true, but because Eury actually believed that it was. She wondered how many disappointments she’d had to face to get there and swallowed at the thought of it. She decided then, that she  wouldn’t be one of them; not if she could help it. She closed her mouth and exhaled slowly before nodding. If agreeing to her terms was what Eury wanted, then that’s what she would do. “Then I’ll give you my best,” she vowed, eyes resting on the red ranger. Reaching behind them, she rested her hand on her back in what she hoped was reassurance. For the time being, Eury was here, and that alone was considered a victory. Katherine relaxed with the more she spoke, the tension in her muscles releasing as a small grin tugged at her lips. “It sounds like you and I want the same things,” she encouraged. “It won’t always be easy, but anger, temper and rage — those things are manageable. Martial arts, for example, teaches patience and is a constructive way to release stress and frustration. We can give you the tools, but the rest is up to you. You’re off to a pretty good start, if you ask me,”  she stressed. “...I would like to tell you to forget the past and focus on move forward, but I think that’d be a mistake. Ultimately, those things have shaped you and made you stronger, but they don’t define you. What’s done is done, and no amount of penance will change that. Being the red ranger won’t make you a good person, Eurydice. That’s just armor. You being you will.” A moment passed and as Eury looked her in the eye, Katherine felt proud and nodded at the new resolve. “I know,” she revealed, grin spreading across her face. “And I suppose not, but I think that’s for the best. Your friends are gonna need you,” she said. Chuckling softly, she couldn’t argue with that, so instead, she rubbed her back and said. “Oh come on… I’m sure you’ll get used to it.”

Eury gave Kat a simple, yet somewhat happy smile as she agreed to say that she’d simply try her best. It was better than promising, and it was something that Eury could settle on. Her body relaxed a little as she felt the gentle pressure of her hand against her back. She could maybe get used to this physical affection stuff. Martial arts sounded like a more constructive way for the girl to burn off her anger than punching walls, or decking the nearest person. Perhaps she’d even learn how to find inner peace. Tommy seemed like the chillest guy to ever walk the earth, so she could only assume that it gave you some kind of balance. The weight of Kat’s words rested heavily on Eury’s shoulders. Being the red ranger won’t make you a good person, Eurydice. Oh, how she wished that wasn’t true. “Believe me, I wish I could forget the past, but I’m never going to be able to, so I suppose I have no choice but to let it keep shaping me, and hope for the best. The armor makes me… It makes me feel invincible, which is kinda dangerous. But when I’m suited up, I feel like… Like I am better, because I’m doing something. When I’m just me… That’s all I am. People don’t see past my anger, and my immaturity. They don’t think I can be strong, and they don’t believe I have problems just like everyone else. I dunno. I guess there’s a lot more bonding to be done when it comes to the team.” Smiling and shaking her head, Eury kicked the backpack in front of her under the bed. “Maybe I will, but if Rory asks, I find you totally annoying and want to kill you,” she laughed. “I have a reputation to maintain, and we can’t have my gang thinking I’ve gone soft. They need me to be a badass. Badasses don’t have deep and meaningful conversations with their mentors.”

Zoe couldn't believe she was doing this. She only ever skipped school for silly things, like she didn't feel like going or she wanted to stay home to hang out with someone her mother wouldn't approve of. But now she was skipping school after actually going. As the bell rang for lunch right at 12 o'clock the brunette headed to her locker, quickly packing up her things and slinging her bag over her shoulder. Slamming the locker door shut, Zoe headed outside her heels clicking against the tile floor with every step she took. It was true what they said; with every click of your heel you feel power of some kind. Though her nerves were getting the best of her she couldn't help but be excited as the cool end of winter air hit her face, and she finally got to her car. As Zoe climbed inside waiting for Esme, she only hoped her father would see her at his office.

Esme was running a bit late because she had to finish the last of her notes but once done she quickly packed up fr the day and then moved to exit the building. She was hoping she wasn't terribly late as she ran up to the car and smiledat Zoe. "Sorry I needed to finish my ap chem notes," she huffed softly. "I'm ready when you are, are you sure you want to dirve? I don't mind driving if you would rather me do so."

Zoe knew that Esme had harder classes then most being an advanced student so when the raven haired girl didn't show right away she didn't worry. Knowing that they had the same lunch periods she figured the other would be along in just a moment. And, she wasn't wrong as she saw the passenger side door open, and Esme shoot her a smile. "I think I need to drive," she admitted softly as she bit her lip. "If I don't have something to distract myself I'll chicken out." she never usually admitted things like that but for once she couldn't help it. "I just hope he sees me." she muttered to herself as she did up her seatbelt and started the car.

Esme buckled up and nodded at Zoe's reply to her offer. She could understand that but it had been why she offered so a smile graced her face. "That's why I offered, so you couldn't chicken out and not go to his work or house or wherever he is right now," she admitted softly. "But I get it and remember I'm here for you and if he doesn't see you I will make a fuss so he'll see you just to shut your crazy friend up," she giggled, teasing softly.

Zoe finally pulled from the spot she was parked in and headed away from the school. She wasn't worried about getting in trouble, the only thing on her mind was her dad. "I can do this, the worst he can say is no and then I'm in the closet until graduation." she nervously laughed before chewing at her lip. "I don't even know where he lives, so I hope he's at his work," she sighed softly. as she began to drive to downtown Toronto. With her father being a lawyer, she knew he may be busy with a case but, she also knew she had to try for her own sanity.

Esme "Exactly the worst he can say is no though you shouldn't have to be in the closet though," she said softly, sad that that was an option for Zoe. "Well if he's not there we can find out some way I'm sure of it," esme said with a gentle smile. "What does your father do? I don't think we ever got around to talking about any of this stuff."

Zoe: "Well, I can't be out around my mom. There's always emancipation but, I'd have to get a job and I have no experience. It's just a lot of work I've looked into it." Zoe admitted, looking over at the raven haired girl for a moment. "Oh, I guess we haven't. I don't usually talk about my personal life with you guys." She shrugged her shoulders, not seeing much of a problem with it; she'd always been a private person when it came to her parents. "He's a Lawyer, one of the best. My mom is the one who makes the most though. She's a talent agent. Most of our money comes from my grandparents though, their money became ours when they passed away."

Esme "there's always living with someone else, not in the pool house mind you," Esme added softly as she watched out the window. She listened intently to Zoe, understanding why she didn't speak about it, esme wasn't open about her father so she understood. "Ah I see well I'll try not to act too crazy if I have too," she nodded. "Well you're dad sounds like he has a brain so hopefully she does what's best for you."

Zoe "Yeah, KC offered a while ago with how things are going I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I came to stay until I figured something out." she smiled softly as she thought of the boy. "So, I never told you but last night Clare and I decided to just ignore things.. it'll go away eventually, we weren't even friends in the first place. I'm sure this is just something silly that'll disappear." she muttered, almost trying to convince herself even though she knew that she'd liked the girl since the summer they kissed, even if it took her long to figure it out.

Esme "Well good because you shouldn't live in the closet at home, " she stated. Hearing Zoe she frowned and looked at her but didn't say anything just nodded. Esme didn't think it was that simple, that it would just go away like that but it wasn't her so she wasn't going to say much because she didn't want her friend anymore upset than she was.

Zoe "I know it sounds crazy, but everyone will hate me if anything happens with her. She did say I could keep the necklace though." Reaching into the collar of her top, the brunette tugged out the key necklace figuring that Esme wouldn't make fun of her for wearing it. "Isn't it pretty?" she commented softly, as she glanced down at it. With traffic being bad she hadn't expected to get there so fast but, pretty soon she pulled up to her fathers building, with only a twenty minute drive under her belt. Taking a breath she finally glanced over at her friend, acknowledging her for the second time that car ride, "Do you want to come in, or wait here?"

Esme "If that's what you want. Well that's nice of her," she replied and looked at the necklace. "It is pretty," she nodded. Once they were pulled up to a building and parked Esme moved to get out. "I'm going iwth you I'm not waiting in the car," she stated. Esme wasn't about to let Zoe do this alone, she wanted to support her friend and that's what she felt like she was doing.

Zoe "It is, it's what's best," Zoe figured that Luke would judge her considering what Clare had said about what he'd said to his own cousin. She couldn't help but think Tori and Miles would find it a little weird as well, she herself didn't even know what she felt. Not at all, all she knew was that she liked the girl but, had no clue past that. Climbing out of the car as well, the brunette tossed her keys in her purse, sighing softly. She felt a little sick but, she knew if she didn't do this she'd be miserable. "Thanks, Es." she breathed out, forcing a smile as she walked around the car to meet her friend on the other side. "I guess we should get this over with then."

Esme gave Zoe a smile and waited for her once out of the car. She didn't want to talk about how she felt she had been treated by people because of her threesome with Luke and Tori during the ski trip, no one needed to relive that. "You're welcome and yes," she smiled and moved to link their arms and head for the door. "It'll be okay deep breaths okay?"

Zoe stood outside the buildings main entrance for a moment, nodding when Esme told her to just take a deep breathe. Doing just that, she kept their arms linked before pulling open the door and heading inside. Walking toward the elevator the brunette gave Esme a nervous smile. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to say. Do I come out first? Or do you think he already knows 100%?" she questioned as the doors of the elevator opened and she stepped inside.

Esme walked with Zoe towards the elevator and thought for a moment. "I don't know if he'd know for sure so I'd tell him then explain the situation," she said as she moved inside of the elevator. "he might have had an idea but I don't know if he'd know for sure until you told him then again some parents are a bit oblivious towards their children so it's safer to just tell him in my opinion."

Zoe pressed the button for floor five, swallowing as the doors closed and the machine began moving upwards. "You're right." she breathed softly again, glad that Esme was there with her as the elevator stopped on the floor. Untangling their arms she stepped out swallowing hard. "I can do this." she insisted to herself before heading toward the front desk and requesting her father right away. It wasn't until a few moments later when Joel Rivas, stepped from his office, and Zoe rushed toward him a grin on her face. "Dad!" she exclaimed, happily as he pulled her in to a hug. "This is my friend Esme.. I really need to talk to you." the words came rushing out and her father laughed, before ushering the two girls into his office after giving Esme a smile.

Esme "Of course I am," Esme smirked. "and yes you can." Esme waited and once on the floor she made sure she looked presentable just in case Zoe's father knew her own and somehow knew her, she hoped to god not but Esme couldn't be sure considering that her father was the Minister of Health. Stepping out she moved to the side to wait and when she saw Zoe's father she just smiled and waived once she met the man. Walking into the office Esme took a seat so that she would be out of the way but ready in case she was needed.

Zoe stepping into the room, Zoe watched her father close the door as she sat down. Waiting until he did to she fidgeted slightly, not saying a word until she asked what he could do for his daughter. "I'm..gay. Bisexual, I mean. " she blurted out the words, closing her eyes as she did. After her mothers reaction to seeing the video she wasn't expecting a good one but, when her father laughed she gave him a quizzical look as she opened brown orbs. 'Honey, I know that. ' his words hit her ears and she relaxed slightly at the calmness in his voice before continuing. "And.. I need to come live with you. I /can't/ live with mom anymore. I just can't. She's making me go to a program at the church, and I can't be who I am at school in fear she'll find out. Dad, please." she practically begged, her eyes filling with tears as she looked at Esme well he sat in thought.

Esme listened intently and looked at the older male and Zoe when he replied she smiled softly. Zoe's father seemed to actually care about his daughter and it was something the girl envied but wasn't about to just ocme out and say. Now she had ot wait for the actual answer from the older man and she wanted to say something but didn't know if she should

Esme: *she should so she sat there and moved to hug Zoe when she looked at her with tears in her eyes. "Youre going to be okay, okay? He knows and that's what matters," she whispered as she hugged the girl. "You're going to be okay okay?"

Zoe almost felt her tears escape as she felt Esme hug her. This affection wasn't what she was used of, but all she could do was nod clinging to the girl in return. Silently she glanced up at her father who nodded his head, 'I'd love to have you come live with me, Zo. I'll have to talk to your mother but, I don't see why we can't move you over tonight.' Detangling herself from the other girl Zoe laughed in relief, a bright grin on her face. "Oh thank God.."

Esme held Zoe as they waited and moved to wipe the girls eyes. She didn't want the other to have mascara running or anything because she knew that if it were her she wouldn't want to have everyone asking questions. Hearing him she let out a sigh of relief. "Thank god," she echoed. "I can help if you want I don't have any plans," she offered to Zoe.

Zoe got up the hug her father, and as she did she gave Esme a grateful smile. Everything seemed to be working out, and that she was thankful for. "I'd love that." Zoe replied as she pulled away from her father who took her phone to put his new number into. 'You girls really should get back to school though. I know Landon wouldn't like you skipping and I don't really either Zoe.' He pointed out and the girl blushed red, rolling her eyes. "Fine, dad. I'll see you at moms tonight." Taking her phone back from her father she wiped her eyes once more before heading from the office. Once outside she turned to Esme. "So, whose Landon?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Esme "then it's done," Esme smile, at the mention of her father not liking her skipping she rolled her eyes. "Thanks Mr. Rivas but I don't think he cares what I do as long as I keep it under the radar," she said softly. Her relationship with her father wasn't too good, in fact she couldn't remember the last she'd spoken to or seen him. Once the walked out of the office Esme looked at Zoe and shrugged. "My father, Landon Song, Minister of Health. Don't worry he doesn't care what I do as long as I'm not making waves and ruining his reputation."

Zoe couldn't wipe the smile off her face. She really loved her dad and was always a lot closer to him than she was her mom. To say that she was excited to live with him was an understatement, but as she listened to her friend speak she couldn't help but frown at her words. "Well, you're welcome at my house anytime.. my dad isn't home much and he travels sometimes but, he's usually around for dinner or something," shrugging Zoe headed back toward the elevator, sighing in relief as she waited. "Do you want me to drive you home or what?" She wondered before climbing in the elevator again.

Esme "thank Zo but he doesn't live with me and my mom he has a new family and a new daughter that just turned five, it's just me and my mom at home," she shrugged and looked at the other girl. "Well my cars at school," she said as she walked into the elevator. "What were you going to do?" Esme was happy that Zoe's dad was letting her move in it made her feel better. "Now you can be yourself I'm glad you're dad is how he is."

Zoe "Oh, I can sneak you back there if you want to grab it?" the girl offered softly, not commenting on what Esme said about her family, she didn't want to make a big deal so instead she just squeezed the girls hand softly before letting it go. Again, she shrugged. "I might go home and take a nap." She admitted, smiling again. "Yeah, I can."

Esme "that would be great," she smiled at her friend. Glad that Zoe didn't ask more about her father. "That sounds like a good plan I'll probably get food then head home too. You won't tell everyone who my dad is will you? I don't...want to make a big deal out of it."

Zoe headed back outside, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. The question Esme asked her, kind of shocked her. It would give her leverage over the girl but, for some reason she didn't want to use it against her, not now. Not knowing that the raven haired girl had family problems too. "I don't know why I'd tell anyone. As long as you don't tell anyone about me, I'm not ready to come out to the whole school yet." She admitted, as she climbed in the car and started it to drive back to school.

Esme waited for Zoe's reply and hoped that the girl wouldn't use this information against her. "I promise, no one will hear it from me," she replied honestly. "Thank you," she added. "I'm glad your father is letting you move in you don't need to deal with your mother's stupid program or being in the closet at home. I'm proud of you, Zo."

Zoe nodded her head. She did up her seat belt before pulling from her space and heading back in the direction of Degrassi. "It's kind of weird being out to one of my parents and having him support me but, it feels really good too." she blushed, before shrugging. "I couldn't do it without you," she admitted when stopped at a stop light. She didn't know if she even would've went if Esme wouldn't have come with her. "Everyone's right. I've been whiny and not myself lately, I just hope this can help me get back to who I am." Zoe began to drive again, keeping the smile on her face. She was glad that she had Esme and the friends she did now. She couldn't imagine being a princess and she was sure that she would've gotten kicked out of the group if she still was and this ever came to light.

Esme looked out the window as Zoe drove back towards the school and listened to her. "I'm glad he does though. It's better than you mom trying to force you to be who she wants." She frowned and tilted her head listened to the girl, she didn't think that. "Were all allowed to have times when we aren't ourselves but we grow and become the people we're meant to be," she smiled.

Zoe nodded in agreement, staying quiet for a moment. "It really is," she agreed softly. The drive to school was quick and luckily no one was out front as she circled back into the parking lot. Seeing Esmes car, she drove in to the spot next to it to drop the girl off. "Seriously, thank you for coming. I'll text you when I need help moving my stuff. Probably tomorrow, tonight I'll probably just sleep there on the couch. The day is half over anyway." She leaned over to give Esme a small hug, though she didn't usually do that before pulling back.

Esme was glad to see the parking lot empty of people and was glad there Was a free spot next to her car. "You're welcome. I'm just glad you get to go live with him," she smile and hugged the girl back. "Okay I'm cool with whenever," she smiled. She savored the hug before moving to get out and into her car.

Cobie had honestly never been more nervous in her life. Her whole body felt like it was sweating, and she could barely control the waves of nausea that were taking over as the guilt bubbled up inside her stomach. This wasn't something she ever dreamed she'd have to do in her entire life, yet there she was, sat in an abortion clinic with Bailey J at her side of all people. Everything was so surreal, but she was thankful to have the blonde there for her. She was being a better friend to her than Ofelia had been in months, and for that she was grateful. Shoving her hands in her pockets to control the continuous trembling, she turned to her newly acquired friend, giving her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry I dragged you here. But thank you, really." Cobie's eyes wouldn't stop darting around the room, looking at posters for helplines, and noticing pamphlets about the emotional trauma that this whole procedure she was about to endure could bring. Part of her wanted to get up and run. Never look back and raise this baby, even if she didn't want it. But the rational part of her brain, along with fear was keeping her firmly glued to her spot.

Bailey J worriedly swung her legs back and forth in her seat as she waited with Cobie for it to be her turn. Bailey J wasn’t exactly used to feeling guilty for anything she ever did in her life, but while simply waiting for Cobie's turn to have an abortion, Bailey J was wrapped up in so much guilt, she felt like she could hardly even remember not feeling that way. Not because of the actual abortion itself, Bailey J was pro choice enough that it didn't bother her in the slightest, but the fact that she was sitting there with Cobie as her best friend was running through life completely unaware of what was taking place. If anything he should've been the one with Cobie as it happened. But as guilty as she felt about the entire thing, Bailey J didn't hesitate to smile back at Cobie as she thanked her and apologized for dragging her along. "It's no problem at all." Bailey J lied easily, patting her on the shoulder in an awkward attempt at a comforting gesture. The other girl clearly felt bad enough so Bailey J just tried her hardest to not make her feel even worse, even though her cell phone was practically itching in her pocket for her to call Cam and tell him what was going on ASAP

Cobie felt a wave of relief wash over as Bailey J made an attempt at comforting her. It felt nice to know that the girl didn't hate her for the choice she was making. It would have been so easy for her to call Cobie names, and call Cam and Kenzi to tell them exactly what was happening. But for some reason, she didn't, and Cobie would probably never forget that for the rest of her life. As the minutes ticked by, she was getting noticeably more panicked. Her legs were anxious jigging up and down, probably sending the other people in the clinic nuts, and the bile in the back of her throat was burning horribly. In an attempt to soothe herself, she slid one hand beneath her shirt, her fingers tracing over the barely there bump in a silent apology. She had no idea how she was going to live with herself after this, but she had to. "I... I have to go to the bathroom," she lied, getting up from the chair and rushing towards the door. Once she was in there, she could finally empty the contents of her stomach. This was going to be hellish, and part of her wanted to never come back out of the bathroom. But she did. As she sat back down in her seat, she grabbed Bailey J's hand tightly. It was almost time for her appointment, and she needed something to ground her. As Kenzi wasn't there, Bailey J was all she had. "I just... I need contact. I'm sorry."

Bailey J felt the urge to finally cave and text Cam rise high and higher with every moment and had even resorted to putting little braids through her blonde hair to keep her fingers too busy to touch her phone. However, the minute Cobie took off for the bathroom, Bailey J had her phone out of her pocket and she began frantically typing up a text to Cam in order to give him the low down on the entire situation. The text was a little too long, since Bailey J had ended up rambling a bit more than she'd meant to to, so by the time Cobie returned from the bathroom, Bailey J only just finished and still needed to just press send before Cobie was suddenly grabbing on to her hand tightly. Initially Bailey J stiffened, just because she thought she'd been caught in the act, but once Cobie apologized for needing contact, Bailey J relaxed and just played off her original reaction as just surprise at being touched by someone who only a week ago Bailey J considered an enemy. "It's fine." Bailey J, assured Cobie, pressing the button to turn her screen off with her free hand before using it to pat the top of Cobie's hand. "How are you feeling about all of this?" Bailey J asked casually as she plotted an excuse to finish sending her text to Cam without Cobie noticing.

Cobie 's teeth sunk down into her lower lip as Bailey J asked how she was feeling. It was a very loaded question, and Cobie wasn't sure how to answer. Part of her felt relief that this was all going to be over, and the other part of her felt immense guilt. "I..." she started, her eyes fixed on the hand on top of hers. "I just... I want this all to be over so much. So fucking much. I wanna be happy with Kenzi, and just forget this even happened. But I know if I do it, I'll never forget. I have guilt that's making me throw up my insides, and it's like I can already feel this..." she swallowed thickly before continuing, "baby." It felt weird to call the fetus that, but it was what it truly was. "Like I know that it's mine, and that it loves me and just wants me to love it back... But I can't. I don't know how to." Sucking in a deep breath, Cobie lifted her head up to look at her friend. "Would you mind getting me some water? I feel like if I stand up again, I might fall down. My mouth tastes like vomit, and I really don't enjoy that taste," she said with a small, disheartened chuckle.

Bailey J stayed silent as Cobie answered her question, once Cobie got to the guilt she was feeling, it only made Bailey J feel a little more at peace with her decision to tell Cam about all of this. Bailey J knew that Cobie's guilt would eventually extend to not telling Cam about all of this and Bailey J would be damned if Cobie ended up developing some kind of tell-tale ​baby ​ syndrome and snitched on the whole thing later costing Bailey J the trust of her best friend in the world. Bailey J made a face in disgust as Cobie told her about her mouth tasting like vomit but stood up quickly, recognizing her chance to discreetly send off her message. "I'll be back in a jiffy." Bailey J promised Cobie, before practically running off to go locate water and text Cam.

Cobie smiled and nodded as Bailey J left to find her water. Her eyes stayed on the girl as she moved. She was acting a little suspiciously now that Cobie thought about it. When she came out of the bathroom, she had her phone in her hand. She quickly shoved it into her pocket once her hand was grabbed... She couldn't be, could she? She wouldn't. Bailey J had promised that she would not tell Cam, and that Cobie herself could do it once the pill was swallowed. No. She trusted her new friend. It was just paranoia getting the better of her. Pulling her phone out of her own pocket, she smiled at the screensaver of Kenzi and Scooby in a staring contest, her thumb running over her girlfriends face. God. She wished that she wasn't lying to her, and that she could have just told the truth. Her stomach became queasy with a new wave of guilt as she thought about Kenzi being unaware that all this was happening, and quickly shoved her phone back into her pocket as she waited for Bailey J to return. She was taking a damn long time, considering the water cooler was just across the room.

Bailey J took the time she had away from Cobie to not only send Cam her message with the entire story, but another text message warning him not to text her back and just the address of the clinic they were at so that Cobie wouldn't know what Bailey J had done until it way too late. Once she'd finished, Bailey J grinned to herself proud of her actions for a moment before hiding her grin and returning to Cobie with the water, just barely able to hide the small skip in her step as she walked back. "How much longer do you think we have to wait?" Bailey J asked as she handed Cobie the water and sat back down in her seat.

Cobie gratefully accepted the water from Bailey J when she returned, thanking her quietly. When she asked her when her appointment was, Cobie looked at the clock hanging on the wall. "Literally in a few minutes," she replied. She sipped from the water cup slowly, her heart pounding in her chest as she thought about what was about to happen. In two minutes, she'd be inside some horrible room, swallowing the first of two pills to get rid of the fetus in her stomach. This was all so surreal, and part of her really wished that this whole thing was a nightmare, and that when she woke up, she'd be next to Kenzi and baby free. Cobie was about to ask Bailey J how she was feeling, when suddenly her name was called. Swallowing thickly, Cobie got up from her seat, trying to ignore the shakiness of her legs as she began to walk to her room. "What?...who is?..." she mumbled to herself as she felt her phone vibrate, pulling it out to check the caller ID. Cam. Of course it was Cam. She had every right to be paranoid. Bailey J had god damn told him. Her eyes looked at the girl angrily as she swiped to accept the call. She couldn't ignore it. Not when she knew Cam knew. Fucking Bailey J. Now she was going to miss her stupid appointment.

Bailey J looked away once Cobie's phone rang and Cam was no doubt on the other end of the line. Even though she wasn't looking at Cobie, Bailey J hoped the look on her face made it more than obvious to Cobie that she didn't feel guilty about anything anymore. Her alliances had always been to Cameron above anyone else in the world. Honestly, Cobie should've just been happy that Bailey J agreed to not telling Cam in the first place. While Cobie was wrapped up in her phone conversation, Bailey J focused on her own phone, giving Cobie some degree of privacy even though she had no doubt the other girl was going to make a scene and give Bailey J an excuse to wear the fake mustashe shades and hoodie she'd brought along as a disguise to leave incognito in.

Cobie could tell that Bailey J was avoiding eye contact, and that honestly made her more annoyed than the fact she told Cameron. Maybe this was a good thing, though. He was reassuring her that they could figure it out, and that they didn't have to rush a decision. Bailey J definitely knew him better than Cobie did, because she thought he'd have been down on one knee in front of her begging for her hand in marriage again. Grabbing Bailey J's arm gently with her free hand, the brunette dragged her towards the exit of the clinic and down the street to her car. She needed to get as far away from that place as possible. Unlocking the doors, she got inside and gestured for Bailey J to do the same as she continued speaking to Cam. The next stop was his place.

Bailey J was a little surprised when instead of continuing her conversation in the clinic like a freak, Cobie grabbed her arm and started dragging her out of the clinic and down the street. "Are you kidding me!" Bailey J protested, after finally getting her arm free once (mostly because Cobie let her go. Not because Bailey J had any arm strength at all.) Once they got to the car. "You can't manhandle me like that. Where are we going?" Bailey J demanded, even though she was getting into Cobie's car like the lil bitch she was anyway.

Cobie shot Bailey J a looked that told her that she could basically do whatever she wanted if the girl wanted to live to see the next day. Muting the microphone on her phone for a moment, she let out a sigh. "Stop copping an attitude with me, otherwise we're going back to the clinic, and I'll be terminating you," she threatened, then bumped Bailey J's leg with her fist gently as she smiled. "Just playin' with ya. Uhh, we're going to Cam's house. We need to talk." After pressing the unmute button, she began to speak to Cam again. Today was going to be a long, and very emotional day. It had started out awful, and it was probably only going to get worse.

Bailey J wanted to protest or say anything in response to Cobie's new craziness. But Bailey J knew she had a cat at home to take care of, so she calmly sucked it up and stopped copping an attitude with Cobie like she asked. As the drove to Cam's house Bailey J really wished she had just lied and pretended to be super religious so that no one would've considered her for an abortion mission in there first place. She had been to Mass at some point in the past ten years and probably could've pulled it off. Just anything in the world would've been better than being forced into such a crazy and probably embarrassingly emotional situation.

Rex: 's side was starting to feel a little numb after he convinced one of the nurses he knew at the hospital to give him double the normal dose of Medrol. The swelling was starting to go down as well but he fingers were still stifly locked in placed in a fist position- he couldn't stop fighting even if he wanted to. Using his free hand, he ignored the dull ache of the stitch above his eyebrow and went to pick a couple movies from his room. Something about today had made him want to prove something to Blake, kind of to girls in general, he was sick of there being so many assholes out there. He stuffed the movies he chose underneath his arm and managed to stuff his arm through his sleeve of his hoodie somehow. With his hood up he walked over to Blake's house, there was no way he'd be able to drive now. He knocked weakly with the back of his left hand.

Blake had to say that she was more than surprised when Rex offered to come over without the implied ' It's just sex' thing they had been keeping up over the last few weeks. Honestly, she wasn't completely sure of what was going on between the two of them anymore. What had started out as a stupid mistake had gradually formed into something that she lost sleep over, trying to make sense of it all, amongst other cliches. As she heard the anticipated knock on the door, Blake quickly made her way over to open it. Rex was standing on her doorstep, clearly hurt as she could spot a few bruises over his face when her eyes quickly went over his whole appearance. At first, she opened her mouth to most likely scold him in some sort of way, but she was able to stop herself. Something told her he already knew what she was going to say. So instead, the girl simply stepped aside to let him in and closed the door behind him.

Rex did his best to smile as she opened the door but he knew it had probably come out more as a grimace then anything. He looked like shit so he was actually surprised when she didn't say anything to him, it must be a lot worse then he thought. The numbness in his arm and hand seemed to be turning into something that was actual useful so that his fist was unclenching a little now, he held it still behind him slightly, mainly because the bruising would be a little shocking. "Here," he said, passing her the movies he was holding in his left arm. "As promised," he nodded, doing his best to take off the hoddie he was wearing.

Blake took the movies from him, smiling faintly as her eyes never left his face. She fought of every urge and instinct inside of her that wanted to basically attack him with a million questions at once, feeling slightly confident that he would tell her sooner or later anyway. Blake quickly put the movies away and reached over to help him off with his hoodie, seeing as he struggled quite a bit. Her eyes caught sight of his hand for the first time and she drew a quick, shaky breath. If she thought that his face had been bad, it wasn't much in comparison to the severly bruised knuckles and the swelling that was currently covering his hand. She gave him a long look, putting away the hoodie. "Let me guess.. I should see the other guy?" She spoke, trying her best to keep her voice light and casually when she actually wanted to smack him for getting himself hurt again.

Rex went to pull away, not wanting her help taking off his hoodie but he conceded pretty quickly, there wasn't really any chance of him being able to do it alone. He knew she had seen his hand just from reaction, not even looking at her face. "Something like that," he nodded with a weak smile. He knew he could pass of his hand as being completely from the fight, it was pretty normal for someones fist to end up like after punching someone as many times as he had, but he actually wanted her to know. "I'll make you that dinner sometime, I promise. I just don't think I can do it now," he said apologetically, wincing as he raised his hand as evidence.

Blake nodded in understanding - she knew the second she'd laid eyes on him that he probably wasn't in the state to do.. Well, anything. "I figured." She smiled and leaned up to let her fingers graze his bruised jaw. "You're an idiot." She simply shook her head before pulling back. "Come on." She mumbled and showed him the way to the living room. The perks of having and absent family were that she usually had the house to herself unless the rare occasions when her sister visited from college. "You probably shouldn't be here at all, you know. Shouldn't you be on bed rest?"

Rex smiled down at her, his jaw really the least of his problems here, more surface then anything. Even though he was tall, he was fast and Bentley had barely landed a punch on his face, the most damange he had done was to himself. He followed her into the living room, easing himself down slowly on to the sofa. "I don't have a concussion or anything," he shrugged as a way of explanation, "Besides, you didn't believe me when I said I was coming and not turning up wouldn't have backed my argument up very well," he added, smiling softly. When she sat down near him, he took a deep, steady breath before holding out his swollen hand to her. "The reason this looks like this is because I punched a guy really hard a lot of times," he said with a little grin. "But it's not just that," he took another deep breath.

Blake waited for him to sit down as she joined him shortly after. "Still, you look like shit. Shouldn't that be reason enough to stay at home?" She teased a little as she moved to sit next to him, trying her best to lighten the mood, which was quite hard when there was a huge, bruised and swollen elephant in the room. Once Rex extended the hand to her, Blake pulled a small face at the sight of it up close. Not only did it look horrible, but just the thought of what it must hurt for him left an uneasy feeling inside of her. She stroke her fingers over his wrist gently, making sure not to touch any of the injured parts of the hand. "What?" Blake cleared her throat, now more worried than ever as her eyes switched from his hand to his face. "It's not ...? What are you talking about?"

Rex held it up for a couple seconds, only letting her touch his wrist briefly before he pulled it back in. He hated admitting weakness fullstop, somebody actually seeing a sign of it was even worse. "I have...rheumatoid arthiritis," he said, giving it its full name. "It started with just swelling and pain in my joints after practices and now it hurts every time I catch a basketball," he said, not looking at her. "I have maybe a year left of play," he sighed, looking away from her for a second as he took a deep breath and composed himself before finally looking directly at Blake. "So that dream and...a few others are over," he shrugged, staying vague but she'd probably laugh at this point if he said he wanted to be a surgeon, that was another secret for another time.

Blake sat quiet and listened to what he had to say, knowing that this probably was hard enough to do without her interrupting him with question every other second. Listening to him, a few things that had happened during the last few weeks suddenly made more sense. Rex wasn't known for being the most sharing person in the world, so Blake hadn't really thought much about why he usually brushed away his problems and didn't want to talk about them. However now when she knew that it was actually a huge secret he was carrying around by himself, she was torn between telling him that she was there for him or giving him the room to breathe that he probably wanted. "Rex.." She mumbled quietly, meeting his gaze. "I.. I'm so sorry.. But there's surgery, right? I mean, people does these kind of surgeries all the time. I mean, I probably wouldn't advice you to go around punching more people, but there's a chance for you to get better.. I mean.. They can fix it, right?"

Rex took another deep breath, making himself acutely aware of the rise and fall of his chest as he tried to focus on something else then the shittiness that his life was going to become. People said that sharing secrets like this was meant to be release the burden, take a little pressure of but it seemed that every time he told somebody new, which was only three people right, it just seemed to become more and more real. He also couldn't deal with the pity. "Surgery is $50,000," he said blankly, looking over her shoulder for a second and then at her. "With no guarantee or permanent improvement or success and if it does work then the 50k doesn't include the cost of rehab after that." He had already thought of all the options and he had been saving for a couple months. The only problem was even if he ever got that money, spending it on surgery rather than saving it for the college fees he was going to have to pay once he lost his basketball schlorship after a year just didn't seem like a smart move.

Blake had to admit, as it looked in that moment, there wasn't much she could say to make him feel better. But wasn't that what she was supposed to do? She made him feel better - or she was meant to anyway - and now when she couldn't, she just felt lost. "Then we save up money. You'll have the surgery and if it doesn't get better then... We'll figure it out. I know how much you love being the superstar of the basketball team, but.. You know, there is so much more to you than basketball." Blake looked back at him, stopping herself from trying to comfort him by moving in closer as he problably would just push her away if she did. "And I know it sucks, alright? I know that you probably want to punch a brick wall and cry your eyes out at the same time because you don't know what to do, but we can figure this out. Your life isn't over at 18. That's just ridiculous, Rex.. Please, trust me on this one?"

Rex had more pride then ever being able to let her actually help her pay for his surgery but he felt like that was an argument for another time. He had reached his breaking point. After so long of being this person in front of her, of pretending to be the dumb, cocky jock because that was all he had ever been and it was easy, he just didn't care anymore. He hadn't even let her say a comforting word to him before and now he could care less if the tears building up inside of him actually fell. "Do you know what's funny," he said, laughing bitterly because he clearly did not find it funny. "You know what my dream is? After basketball what I wanted to do with my life?" he said, chuckling a little as he squeezed the corner of the sofa so hard that his knuckles turned white. "I wanted to be a surgeon," he admitted but he was so wrapped up in his self-pity and hurt that he didn't even realise exactly what he was saying. "Guess what job you can't do with fucked up hands? Surgery."

Blake was actually able to see the turning point where he didn't try to put up higher walls around him anymore, but rather the opposite. If it had been under any different circumstances, she probably would have thought of it all as a huge joke. Rex Puckerman as a surgeon really wasn't the most natural thing to imagine but, by the look on his face, it was clear that this was far from a joking matter. It seemed like she didn't even know how right she had been when she had said that there was more to him than everyone thought. Softly, Blake eased his hand open and pulled it in her hand instead of letting him continue the assault on the couch. Forgetting all about the big possibility of him pushing her away, she then closed the small distance between them and pulled him into her arms.

Rex 's eyes were almost boring holes in the coffee table in front of him, having to find somewhere to focus all this anger and energy. After beating up Bentley he'd managed to calm himself down, mainly because of all the pain killers he took but he was reaching that level again, working himself up as he thought more and more about his hands. It was only when she took his hand that he let up his staring match with the piece of furniture. He gritted his teeth a little because he may not have bruised it from fighting but his left hand still ached. He hesitated as Blake put her arms around him, not quite sure how to react or how he wanted to. After a second he body almost slumped, tired of all this pent up energy and he lifted his arms as well, wrapping them around her waist as he held her tightly. The proportions were a little off but even though he dwarfed her, he still found comfort in the embrace.

Blake let out a small sigh of relief once she felt him give in and pull his arms around her as well, happy that he didn't chose to fight her on the matter. At first, Rex might look like a complicated guy with his moodswings and tendency to express his anger by ramming his fist into someone's face, but she had learned how to read him by now. It was all about knowing when it was better to leave him be and when she should come closer. And it was pretty obvious that this was one of those moments where the latter option applied. Her hand stroke the back of his head and she softly moved her head to look him in the eye. "I don't know how to make this better.." She admitted in a quiet whisper, feeling disappointed in herself for not knowing what to do.

Rex quickly wiped away a tear from his face, he might have let in and taken away some of that 'Rex Pride' which he usually held but he was determined to keep at least some of his normal pride with him- part of that meaning he wasn't going to let himself cry in front of Blake: despite all the pain that he was in and fresh mental wounds he just tore open by talking about his illness. "There's nothing you can do," he said simply, sucking in as he put a clamp on his emotion and moved a little away from her, arms back by his side. He didn't mean it personally for her, there was nothing anybody but him could do. His parents didn't have the money which was the only way any of this was going to be fixed. "It's not going to get better," he shrugged because even though he had picked up odd jobs for months along with his normal work at the hospital, what he had couped together wasn't even a fraction of what he needed in the form of medical bills or student fees. There was no fix.

Blake looked down and swiftly adjusted her position once he pulled away. Honestly, she didn't blame him from saying those things. If she was in his shoes, then she wouldn't walk around with much hope - and she hadn't nearly as much to lose as he did. But Blake knew that she couldn't think like that. She wasn't allowed to give up, especially when he already had. "How much money do you have?" She asked, putting a little more distance between them. "I know it's an expensive surgery but you have to start somewhere, right? Surgery is your best option at the moment - Actually it's your only option if you want to live the life you had set out for yourself. So that's just what you have to do. You can be how sad, mad and grumpy about your shitty life all you want, but it's a fact. You need 50 000 and you're probably going to need help getting it. My advice would be to praticing swallowing your pride, because you trying to do everything by yourself will only do more damage to the situation."

Rex had pulled away but he stayed holding her hand with his left one, it seemed to be helping him stay calm a little seeing as he wasn't currently giving the sofa a death grip. "About $5000," he said. "But I'm not getting the surgery," he quickly added, it had been something he had thought about for a long time and, though it had been hard, he couldn't risk that kind of money or be forced to ask his parents to help him or take it from somebody else when there was such little guarantee and so many better things it could be used for. So he had effectively decided to give up his only two dreams but he had made that decision already and he was sticking to it. "No pride swallowing needed, I'm not having surgery."

Blake studied his face closely as he spoke. As shocked as she had been when she found out about it : Rex was probably one of the few people who was more stubborn than she is. She knew that there was nothing she could do to persuade him or change his mind. Either he'd stick to his decision or he'd change his mind himself, but there was no point in trying to convince him to do something he didn't want to do. ".. Okay." Blake finally spoke and lifted their linked hands to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. "Thank you for telling me.. I know that you'd rather keep it from everyone and anyone, so it actually means a lot that you told me.. I probably would have worried sick about you otherwise. And who knows? There's still a quite big possibility of that happening."

Rex was glad that she hadn't pushed it any further, he really didn't want to fight with her on it and even more then that, he really didn't want to even give himself the chance to change his mind. His decision was based a lot of other people and though that was how he naturally behaved, time and thought would give him the chance to be selfish. "Thank you for listening," he said sincerely, smiling as he looked her. "I just wanted you to know about it and, I think I said some other stuff there as well so you know a lot more about me then before and that can't be a bad thing," he nodded. "Now can we just forget about that, watch one of the movies or something?" he asked, lying back on the sofa as he looked at her.

Blake smiled back at him. "You definitely did. I'm still trying to process it all." She only half-joked. The newly found out information about him definitely changed a lot of things when it came to what she thought of him. It was confusing to say the least, finding out that he actually wasn't the person she thought he was. "Sure." She nodded and stood up, taking a random movie and put it on. Frankly, she didn't really care about the movie. As she settled down in the couch again, lying close to him and resting her head on his shoulder, she caught her lip between her teeth and looked over at him. "I just have one question.. If you were planning on becoming a surgeon and were actually serious about it, then you should have known about the grades you have to have ... And if that didn't stop you from chasing after that dream, then that probably means that you thought you had the grades to make it.. Which basically means that you made me tutor you for no reason at all, right?"

Rex laid back on the sofa and took some time to just relax himself- he'd pretty much been on the go since the night before when he found out about Lex, all the anger not really having a chance to subside until now. When Blake sat back down he put his good arm around her, moving her closer as he let her cuddle into his side. He grinned, it was true that having her tutor him was nothing but an excuse to spend time with her that worked for both the person people at school thought he was but who she, until right now, thought he was as well. "I have gotten less than an A in any class since first year of middle school," he admitted, a grin still on his features as he looked down at her. "And you thought you knew everything," he laughed, leaning over and kissing her forehead. "But yeah, there was no need for you to tutor me."

Blake couldn't even attempt to hide her shocked - yet impressed - face. "I did know everything!" She argued jokingly with him, smiling once he pressed his lips against her skin. "But then you came around and just fucked it all up with your secret nerd identity." Blake shook her head, still having a hard time wrapping her head around it. "So, if there was no need, then please explain to me why I came over to your house on a Saturday - on top of it all - and tried to learn you something that you already knew. You basically set me up for making a fool out of myself, you know." She relaxed in his arms slightly, even though it was slightly strange that they, for once, were being intimate without actually being intimate. However, strange and new seemed to be the theme of the night, so she just went along with it.

Rex shook his head, "No you believed everything you heard and went into knowing me with this perception," he teased, if wasn't like there was anybody except for his family that had ever treated him differently then some dumb jock but he had been okay with that up until this point, Rex just didn't want Blake looking down on his in that aspect anymore, or to lie to her even if it took away his tutoring excuse. "I wasn't trying to make you make a fool of course, I mean, you were actually a pretty good explainer, Teach," he shrugged, "And we both know that that day wasn't completely useless," he grinned, he could only turn off his dirty side for so long even if he was perfectly comfortable right now just sitting here with her.

Blake shook her head, not buying his excuse. "I believe everything you wanted me to believe. It's not my job to know that you're living a lie. Especially not when I barely knew you." She looked at him, the movie playing in the background clearly wasn't that interesting to either of them. "Riight, you were just trying to spend time with me away from the judging and opinionated friends of yours. Admit it, you were trying to keep me a secret so you could sleep with me in private." The girl just rolled her eyes and smacked his chest once he brought up the extra curricular activities they had been engaging in. "Don't make me hurt you, Puckerman. You've already taken enough beating for one night."

Rex "Living a lie? Bit strong," he said, fingers gently circling her shoulder and his arm hung over her shoulders. "Let's be honest, you've been pretty eager to keep it all quiet as well," he pointed out since it was often her that reminded him never to mention it once they were done 'having fun'. "But yeah I was trying to find some way to spend time with you and I thought it was pretty smart." When she hit him he made a big deal of clenching his teeth and making it seem like he was hurt.

Blake bit her lip, thinking. "Yeah, fair enough." She agreed after a while. "Despite your popularity and your ridiculous handsome face, I've never really been fond of the idea of people finding out about.. this. But that's mainly because I didn't want to fall into the same category as every other - in lack of better word- skanks at school that have done the same thing." The girl shrugged as her eyes briefly looked over at the tv screen. "You were trying to spend time with me.." She repeated slowly with a slightly teasing tone to her voice. "Cute." Once he feigned hurt, Blake rolled her eyes at his silly behavior and quicky pecked his lips. "Suck it up, Puckerman."

Rex "And I've been happy to save you from that 'skank pile'," he said as if he was doing her some kind of service by not telling anybody about them and completely ignoring her at school. "But seriously, this isn't usually what I do with my 'skanks'," he said seriously but breaking into a slight grin as he gestured to them sitting like they were. "Not cute, I just wanted to get laid," he said even though they both knew that that wasn't strictly true. "I'm injured," he said, trying to turn away from her kiss out of protest.

Blake: "Well aren't you just a gentleman?" Blake smiled at his response about him doing her a favour. Maybe he was partly right in that. She didn't dare to think about her sister's reaction if she found out about what had been going on for the last couple of weeks. "I know it's not."Blake simply said and couldn't keep the smile off her face. Damn it, she was becoming way too soft. "Keep telling yourself that... Oh, and you being injured is no one's fault but your own, Trouble."

Rex "I'd like to think so," he laughed, only noticing that the television was still on when he looked up from her for a couple seconds. It looked like she had picked off the top one on his pile, nobody could hate a classic like Back to the Future. He was glad that Blake had gotten what he meant without him having to spell it out, even though things that evening had opened him up a little more and things even earlier then that had started to make him question how he'd been living his life and treating girls for so long, he still wasn't the best and actually expressing that verbally. "As far as I remember, I didn't punch myself a couple times or pistol whip myself," he said, hand moving moving automatically up to the scar over his eyebrow. "But yeah, I guess I did do this," he shrugged, wincing as he managed to open his fingers up a little more.

Blake tensed up in his arms as the word 'pistol' left his mouth, her blood running cold for a few seconds. Even if she'd never admit it, she worried about him quite a lot and him getting himself into situations like that didn't help. "You know, I understand that you want to play the hero, but if you could do it without putting yourself into life-threatening danger, then I'd appreciate it." She mumbled, her fingers gently grazing his cheek. "I don't mind taking care of you, but at least try to stay safe, okay? Especially with the current situation with your hands."

Rex finally looking back realised how different the night could have gone, how he had stood in front of that gun and in a rage induced power struggle actually egged Bentley on as the gun was aimed at him- if he'd pushed him even a step too far his injury would have been a little less self-induced. "I'm not going to let my hands hold me back," he sighed, "But I have no intention of doing something like that ever again." He took her hand that was near his cheek with his own bloody one and kissed her fingers softly, "I'm alright, okay?"