#paper moons

They can’t leave this place fast enough.

While John’s her fiancé and lover officially, it was not exactly a secret that Buck Cleven had been seen being less than proper with his best friend’s girl.

Hadn’t been intentional, just them missing Bucky and a few kisses turning to Di and Gale fucking against the same tree she and Bucky fucked that first night to stave off the loneliness.

“There’s a family friend that has two wives and the three of them love each other like this. Nothing to be ashamed of, just not as understood.” Diane had said as they had laid there in the little room when it happened again, and again because no one else loved and missed Bucky like they did.

They hadn’t wanted to admit it yet, but they came to be more than just friends. Not as close like he and John were, but Diane’s place in his heart was almost equal to that of Marge, his future wife. Gale had not worked up the courage to say the words out loud, but the witch knew he too had fallen in love with her during these three months without Bucky.

"How did you come to meet Reese and Elias?” I asked.  Fallen didn’t often get the chance to associate. They were either killed for their leftover grace, or went mad with their cut connection from the Knowing.  The fact that two were living under one roof was one of endless fascination to me and now that the danger had begun to pass, I was curious.

“Reese stopped me from swimming home.”

I frowned. “Swimming home?”

“There is a point in the ocean where the water meets the stars. It is my belief that that is where the Knowing is.  I was trying to swim there, but Reese explained to me that I would never make it. That my body is now more akin to that of a humanoid than a celestial.  He has promised me a boat eventually.”

“Oh.” It was all I could say.  Perhaps the Night Market was different and there was a slight possibility that where the sky and ocean met was the point of the Knowing, but as far as I knew, the was just an endless expanse that went on until you hit land once more.

“You don’t believe me?” A wry smile crossed his face as he looked down, laughing a bit.  The sound of it was soft and felt like a brush against my skin.  “I don’t think Reese does either.” When he lowered himself onto the sofa, it was with a stiffness that I knew his body was still adjusting to. The fluidity of a celestial versus what he was now was probably still taking a toll on his body.

“So he stopped you from swimming,” I said, trying to steer the conversation. “And then brought you back here?”

Gabriel nodded. “He knew what I was. Told me that he lived with another Fallen. I didn’t entirely believe I was one at the time but I’m still here so…” he trailed off shrugging.

“Do you- do you know why you were cast out?” I shouldn’t have asked it. It wasn’t appropriate by any means. But I wondered what someone would have to do to be pushed from their entire species. It had to be horrendous.

“I don’t, actually.” Sitting back into the cushions, he looked out the small window that overlooked the meadow we had just been in. The windowsill was crowded with multicolored glass orbs. The kind that were fished from the ocean.  “I still think that maybe it was a mistake.  Perhaps I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“But wouldn’t the Knowing call you home?” I asked. Immediately, I regretted it. “I’m sorry. You don’t know me and this is all very personal information. I’m prying.”

“It’s alright. It’s refreshing, actually.  I find that people here speak in a strange manner.”

“What do you mean?”

“There is a double meaning to everything that is said.  I do not understand it. Elias claims that you get used to it and you can see lies like fragmented layers of light, but I have yet to truly have a long enough conversation with someone to practice that ability.  But I do like hearing truth in your voice. You seem curious about me for curiosities sake. Not for the sake of using me.”

Turning, I clasped my hands in my lap.  “I don’t get to talk with people often,” I confessed. “When they see that I am a Graceling they tend to get that look in their eyes.”

A flinch lashed across his face as his bodies became stiff. “I am familiar with that look. The one that says they are trying to weigh the morality of using you or not.”

I nodded. “Everyone is so hungry, though. Much hungrier than I think they let on. At least the people native to the Night Market are. The ones who are just here traveling seem a bit better off but I tend to stay away from those areas as well.  Crowds of people make me a bit nervous.  They’re too unpredictable.  I can’t control my surroundings and keep me safe when the room gets too large.”

I paused.  I had heard before that celestials had that way about them. That you would open up to them without meaning it. It was something about the comfort of the Knowing. It was a curiosity that even though Gabriel had fallen, he still held on to some of that old comfort. It sunk into my bones like a warm blanket and had me gravitating towards him.

Clearing my throat, I tucked my hair behind my ears.  “So you came back here,” I said, wondering when we had gotten so off track.  “It is probably what has saved you.”

“Having Elias help me navigate what he has already gone through has been helpful.  I do not think I would be alive today without them. My hope is to become stronger and make my way back to the Knowing. Make my case for Elias.  I think his fall was a mistake as well.  He only wished to help Reese.  Do good.  I do not see why that would make him an outcast.”

I frowned. “That is odd.”

“Either way, I do thank you for continuing to stay with us, Graceling.  I am unsure yet what your presence will mean for me but I am hopeful that I can grow stronger.”

“To be honest, I am unsure as well. You will be the first Fallen I have actually helped. I know that Gracelings are technically made for miracles, but your people have all succumbed to madness before I’ve been able to ease their minds.”

“The idea behind your grace is to just ease the transition, is it not?”

“That is what I’ve come to know. But I have never seen proof of it. It is just a vague idea that I for some reason hold true. As if I now come with a set of rules that I have memorized but can’t quite remember where I heard them from.”

“How did you get your grace?”  His eyes ticked down to my hand.

I rubbed my thumb across the smooth area of skin, the grace feeling like glass.  “I believed,” I told him with a small smile.  “You should get some more rest.  I am going to straighten up this house.  All of you obviously don’t know how to keep a home.” The place was a mess.  Clutter was piled in every corner and the dishes

“I don’t think you should do that,” Gabriel warned with absolute seriousness. “Reese is particular.”

I laughed a little.  “I’m sure it will be fine.”

It wasn’t.

When Reese woke the next morning I had flour in my hair, several dishes were swept into the waste bin, and I couldn’t get the water to shut off in the sink.

“What the fuck did you do?”

“I’m sorry!” I shrieked as the water began spraying everywhere, dampening the counters and forming small puddles throughout the room.  “I was trying to clean up. As a thank you.”

“You’re doing a bad job of it,” he told me. Walking over he twisted the contraption on the sink several times over and turned the water off. Then, slowly, he observed the kitchen.  When his eyes landed on me, soaked and pasty, I couldn’t meet his gaze.  “How?” was all he ended up saying.

“I was trying to wash the dishes,” I said with a small sniffle.

“Generally, washing the dishes means you don’t break them.”

“I know. I’m sorry. They were just so fragile.”

“They were clay.”

I clasped my hands in front of me, biting at my lower lip until blood was drawn.  It was then I heard Reese sigh.

“Just go sit at the table and try not to move.”

I nodded. “I may have broken the chair legs.”

“How?”

I didn’t answer him. I didn’t even know how.

Choosing the sturdiest chair I settled myself down, feeling the cakey paste of flour in my hair.  My hair had always been on the mousier side. Not the red of my mothers like I had always wished. I wondered if I could add dye to the paste and make it a little deeper and…

“Do I even want to ask what you were trying to make?”

My eyes snapped upwards at the bowl that Reese was holding. “Breakfast?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he shook his head. “Alright, Graceling. Alright. It’s apparent you need more help than just some protection.  What’s on the agenda today for you then? We need to figure out what all it is you need to do to start helping Gabriel. And along the way maybe give you a lesson or two into cooking.”

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Gale wasn’t invited to this ‘reunion’ as much they both cared for the man, this was just for the two of them. When he returns from his mission, they might make up for not giving Di the two buck special on her birthday two years ago.

John had not forgotten how good it felt to be with her, how much he had missed having her sprawled over him after they made up for those two years apart.

“You can’t leave me like that ever again, Egan.” She held his ugly mug between her dainty hands and made him promise something they know he won’t keep.

“I won’t, Di. Even if I get sent to hell, I’ll make sure Mrs. Egan comes with me.” John knows he’ll always have another war to fight in, but he also knows he can’t take another second of being without his witch.

“I can’t do that if you don’t ask me properly, Major.” Diane teased him, coming close enough to kiss and then retreating slightly to give her fiancé the chance to turn the tables on her.

This time he’s the one on top, keeping some of his weight off her smaller form and savoring the feel of a nice bed and his girl as he asks her to be his wife.

“Lady Di, will you take this nobody from Wisconsin and make an honest man out of him?” he’s gotten the ring already, knows it in his gut that she’ll say yes.

The streets were dark. Wet with a black rain that scattered across it in obsidian gems.  The sound of the ocean roared at my back along with the rattle of cages. Soft moans of the dying were a cacophony against the night sky as the forgotten breathed their final goodbyes.  My leather boots were wet with dirt and grime, stained with a dark sludge I would have to spend the evening scrubbing out.  Glancing down at the parchment in my hand, I frowned.  

The letter had been pinned to my door this morning.  An old nail, like the ones they used to repair the docks, held it in place.  It had been vague and the handwriting barely legible, but there was a promise attached to the end.  A promise of money.  The promise of a better place to hole up instead of the small hovel that I was huddled within.  My roof was thatched and leaking, and the rain had been nearly incessant these last few days. As if the heavens were crying.

Stepping over the small foot bridge, I glanced at the stone house ahead. A waterwheel slowly churned the meandering river that bordered the house, while smoke puffed from a broken chimney.  Tugging my hood up and over my head, I chewed at my lip, feeling it split open once more. It was a habit I desperately needed to break.

The door was four rough-hewn planks, fitted together with flat bands of steel.  I knocked, my fists coming down on it with three thick thuds. It barely made a sound.  But I could hear the shuffling inside and when the door swung open, I was faced with a tall, dark skinned man. His hair was pulled sharply away from his face, his sleeveless shirt tight over a well muscled chest.

“Are you the Graceling?” His voice was rough and shot through with whiskey.

“I am, sir.” I dipped my head in respect, knowing full well I should not be entering into this unknown house, but my stomach was empty and had been for days.  

“Come in.” The man stepped aside, and my eyes skittered towards the confines of the stone cottage. It was dark within, a single kerosene candle the only illumination upon a driftwood table.  Stepping inside, I clutched the parchment close to my chest, feeling my heart flutter in fear.  When the door shut behind me, I jumped, turning rapidly to stare at the man with wide eyes.  “You scared or something?” he asked.

“No, sir.  Just… cautious.”

He nodded, not arguing. Walking past me, he disappeared around a half wall into a living quarters.  I looked around, not sure if I should follow. When he didn’t appear again, I stepped lightly after him.  The man stood in a living room. A place that was soft and cozy, strewn with pillows and throw blankets and a few scattered weapons.  The man was hovering around a half closed door, soft blue light coming from the cracks in the wood.

“Name’s Reese,” he said.  “Probably should have told you that from the get go.  Been a little stressed.”

Again, I nodded, my hands wringing together.  “It is a pleasure to meet you, Reese.”

“Yeah. Doubt that. You look skinny as a waif and I know you’re only here because you’re about two days from dying of starvation. Seen that look on others.  You got that hunger in your eyes. You able to do what you do without food in your belly?”

“With due respect, sir, I’m not sure what it is you want me to do?”

A soft moan came from the bedroom, the sound wet and broken with pain.  Someone else was speaking softly, hushing whoever was hurt.  My eyes couldn’t help but lock onto the door.

“It’s my boy,” Reese said. “He’s hurt.  You know anything about celestials?”

I snapped my eyes back to him. “I do.  They are a species that belong in the cosmos. Guiding forces that help in mysterious ways, answering only to the Knowing.”

“And what about fallen.”

I bowed my head.  “They are the ones cast from the Knowing for their sins.  It is rare to find a fallen, however.  Without the grace of the Knowing flowing through them, they struggle to manage in a world that is not their own.  Most succumb to madness.”

“Yeah,” Reese said, voice tight. “So you’re gonna stop that.”

I nodded. “I will try my best. I- It’s really going to depend on how far gone they truly are.  Grace is important to celestials. Their own grace. Grace from another doesn’t always take. Especially if the individual is not willing.”

“He’s willing.”

I felt sadness rock my heart.  A parent watching their child die.  It was never easy to see.  I hoped that I would be able to help whoever was on the other side, but the likelihood was, that sickness had already riddled their mind.

“I will do whatever I can,” I told him. It was the only promise I could make.

When Reese opened the door, a dull light pulsed from within.  A man sat on the bed, his white blond hair falling into his eyes, face coated in tears.  He looked up at me as I stepped into the room, his lavender eyes glinting.  He looked startled, his eyes flicking over towards Reese.

“You found one?”

Reese stepped forward, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. “They are a graceling. You don’t have to do anything more, Elias.  She is here to help.”

Elias looked back towards the bed, reaching out with a shaking hand.  A soft glow emanated from him, falling across the prone body upon the bed.

A man with dark skin laid upon silver sheets.  His skin was beaded with sweat, his body lashed across with cracks across a stretch of paper fine skin.  Face contorted with pain, he laid on the bed, whimpering, eyes screwed shut.

Quietly, I stepped in.  Without a word, Elias and Reese moved from the bed and slowly, I lowered myself next to the man.  Black hair stuck to his forehead in sweaty tendrils and the feathered wings I knew had once been attached to his back lay in a bloody mess in the corner.

“How long has he been like this?” I asked.  I reached out, running my fingers across his face, gathering the stench of his skin across my gloved palms.

“A few weeks,” Elias said. “He was okay after the fall. We thought he would survive. Then… his feathers started falling out, and he went downhill from there. I- I tried to help him. I did but…” Turning, he buried himself into Reese’s chest. I could hear the guilt within his cries.

Turning back to the man, I sighed. He was far gone, the madness etched across his features in hollow veins.  It was doubtful I would be able to do anything, but I had to at least try.

Pulling my gloves off, I let the light of the grace fill the room.  It sang, a high-pitched bell echoing across the walls. With the tips of my fingers, I rested them across his brow, slowly drawing lines across his skin. He whimpered, head thrashing back and forth.

“Shh…” I tried to soothe. “Let me help.”

He twisted upon the bed, his face contorting into agony and his body shaking in barely contained pain.  Pressing my palm to his cheek, I pushed against him, feeling the grace embedded in my skin leech forward. The cracks and lines of his body began to fill, a slow roll of mercury running down the fissures of his skin.  His eyes snapped open, coal-black and filled with the void.  Arching off the bed, he reached for me, trying to strike out. Reese was there instantly, holding him down.

“What’s his name?” I asked, trying to keep my hand steady.

“Gabriel.”

I tried to smile. “Gabriel. It’s okay. I’m here to help you. Just listen to the sound of my voice.  Listen to my words. You are loved, Gabriel. You are well.  Everything is going to be okay. We will take care of you.” I felt a tear slip from my eye, tracking silver down my cheek.  The chime of bells became louder and louder, echoing through the room in a blast of piercing song.  But the light, oh the light was filling him, mending each crack and crevice across his parched skin.  He only needed to accept it. He only needed to believe that he deserved to be saved.

As his body began to settle, the light sinking into his skin, his lips parted in sweet relief.  Slowly, I took my own hand away.

“He should sleep,” I whispered.

Reese, who was still holding him, stared at me with wide and terrified eyes.  “Did it work?”

“It’s too soon to tell.  Filling a celestial with grace is a long process. It does not just happen within the course of an evening.”

“Then do it again,” Reese said.

“Reese,” Elias said from the corner. “She is telling the truth.  It’s not like that.” Reese looked upset but didn’t protest. From behind me, I felt the other man approach.  “Please, you have done so much for us already. Come into the kitchen. Let me get you something to eat.”

My stomach growled in response.  “Yes. Yes, I would appreciate that.”

Settling in the kitchen, I kept my eyes on the door. Gabriel. He was asleep now. The house itself felt more at peace.  Reese sat at the kitchen table with me, while Elias began rummaging through the cabinets.

“So what is our next move?” Reese asked. “We’re willing to pay you whatever you need.”

Part 2

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