#papa ryan

Hey, everyone! Dysphoria is a real pain in the butt to deal with, and I know it can be difficult to find ways to lessen it or distract yourself from it. Since we get a lot of asks from people who are looking for tips to help manage their dysphoria, I thought I would make a masterpost to help everyone out. Here we go!

General Tips

-making a music playlist of your favorite songs

-cleaning and/or doing laundry

-name and pronoun affirmations (you can make yourself some cards with your name and pronouns on them and carry them with you and/or ask supportive friends and family to verbally participate in these affirmations)

-wearing clothes that you feel good in (shoes, hats, dresses, sweaters, accessories etc.)

-taking up a hobby that you find enjoyable (skateboarding, making bracelets, writing, learning a new language, playing an instrument, joining a tabletop gaming club, etc.)

-watching YouTube videos (let’s-plays are my fav!)

-dyeing your hair and/or getting a haircut (this can make you feel like a million bucks)

Tips For When Dysphoria Makes You Want To Self-Harm

-holding an ice cube in your hand

-writing in a journal (it can be extremely therapeutic)

-listening to music

-taking a hair tie or rubber band and lightly snapping it against your wrist (it provides stimulation without causing you any harm)

-playing a video game (a puzzle game or fighting game might be particularly helpful since they require a lot of concentration)

-going for a walk (exercise can produce feel-good endorphins in your brain)

-watching a funny youtube video or doing tongue-twisters (laughter also produces endorphins)

-taking a hot shower (they’re particularly great for relieving tension)

-practicing breathing techniques (inhale for 8 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds)

- drinking tea (something like chamomile, mint, or peppermint is best)

- coloring (I personally really like ones that feature Disney characters!)

YouTube Videos That Talk About Dysphoria

-FTM ~ what is dysphoria (uppercaseCHASE1, white transman YouTuber)

-NON-BINARY DYSPHORIA?? (OutOfThisBinary, a channel run by several nonbinary YouTubers)

-HOW I MANAGED DYSPHORIA (Kat Blaque, black trans woman YouTuber)

-QAC 26 - Gender Dsyphoria: It’s Complicated. (a rant) (QueerAsCat, black afab nonbinary YouTuber)

-DRAW MY LIFE (princessjoules, Chinese trans woman YouTuber) Tw: mentions of transphobia and abuse

Articles About How To Deal With Dysphoria

-5 Ways to Support a Trans Person Experiencing Body Dysphoria (everydayfeminism.com) Tw: mentions of alcohol abuse and suicidal ideation

-20 Small Things To Do When Gender Dysphoria Gets You Down (buzzfeed.com) Tw: self-harm mention, period mention, “biological sex” mention

-How do I deal with dysphoria (Neutrois Nonsense) Tw: use of trans*

Okay so these are just a few things I’ve figured out through out the years.

1. Binding is hard when you have unsupportive family, can’t afford it, and/or are scared to ask for it.

Amazon and eBay binders are never safe! They are not made for trans people and can damage you. Some alternatives are; sports bras (no more than two or you could get hurt and it’ll make you even less flat), layering, vests and jackets are your best friend, and spanks (yes those things that suck in fat, cut out the crotch and pull them over your chest like a strapless binder).

2. Dysphoria sucks ass, especially when your parents force you to dress femininely. It helps ease mine a bit if I treat it like a drag show and I’m flawless af.

3. Showers are tough, but if you shower in the dark/ in dim lit areas, it’s best to use men’s 3-in-one body wash, shampoo, and conditioner. That way you don’t have to differentiate.

4. Facial hair. I’ve been shaving my face for roughly a year, and it’s stimulated a little growth.

5. Sometimes when I have really bad dysphoria, I don’t even want to look at myself. So I just try and make a day of it. I put on my favorite hoodie, get my laptop and/or sketch pad and do my thing all day. Skyping friends who respect your pronouns is always great.

6. Bigger, more rounded glasses can make your face look more feminine. Square glasses are great for masculine looks.

7. When getting haircuts, pixies and undercuts are the easiest way to go. I’ve also noticed that when I get a fade, they leave it longer to make it look more fem? Don’t let them do that. Lines look dope af too.

Shaving can help even when you’re pre-T

I’ve been shaving for roughly a year, and I have some facial hair now. 

Shaving breaks off the fine ends of your hairs and the darker parts that have never seen light of day start to grow out. 

It’s kinda hard to shave with lots of acne (I’m like a living pizza, so I should know), so be slow and careful.

Make sure your face is wet when you do it, I still have razor burn from a month ago. 

Always make sure you moisturize afterwards, it helps a lot.

I personally like to wear hoodies, sweat pants, button ups, slimming undergarments to squeeze in my extra squish. Baggy shirts are good, but over sized ones can make you seem even more feminine. Cargo shorts, basketball shorts, dark colored shirts and deep reds and blues are pretty masculine. I lightly fill my brows sometimes, masculine contour doesn’t really work if you’re heavier set, sadly.

The way you walk can effect how you pass, try to walk straightish, don’t slouch too much, but also don’t push out your chest. I try not to talk too much, more grunts and nods because I have a loud and excited way of talking. Chuckle rather than laugh if you have a “girly” laugh. 

Half lidded or sleepy eyes seem to be more masculine? Don’t try to tone down the pink in your lips, most guys I know have very red or pinkish lips. 

Straight legged pants are more masculine, they go straight down, and don’t curve with your body. 

And when you go to the bathroom, walk in like that’s where you belong, because it’s just a room to pee and wash your hands, nothing else.

That’s all I can think of right now.

Okay, so I know a bit about this, but not everything seeing as I’m not a doctor haha. I know there are different surgeries for different breast sizes and body types. Certain surgeries leave less scaring ect. For instance, I have a rather large chest, so I’ll probably end up having to the Inverted T (T Anchor) surgery. If not, I may have to get the Double Incision surgery. 

Both seem to be more suited for medium to large chests. Though the Double Incision seems to have much more issues than the Inverted T.

Double Incision sometimes can have: Loss of nipple feeling, numbness in armpits, “Dog ears” or extra skin that hangs off at the end of the incision, uneven or off looking nipples, ect. 

Inverted T have: two extra vertical incisions, moderate scaring, other normal surgical risks.

Keyhole (for A-B cup breasts): Numbness, nipples may die or look wrong, chest might seem more like a breast reduction rather than a completely flat chest, puckering around the scars, ect.

Peri Areolar (For medium to small chests): Additional lipo and/or revision surgeries are usually needed.

All surgeries are gonna have risks and differ between pros and cons. I don’t know everything, and you shouldn’t take my knowledge as fact, as I get all my information from the internet. Every body reacts differently to surgery. For example, biracial people are more likely to keloid than other races, that being said, that’s not always the case. I get small keloids and I’m basically Caspar. Please speak with your surgeon about any questions and/or issues you may have. Also, please make sure this surgeon is efficient in his work, check with previous patients that he did the same procedure on. I don’t want to see any of you on Botched.

Here are some links:

http://www.tssurgeryguide.com/FTM-Top-Surgery.html

http://topsurgerymidwest.com/ftm-top-surgery/

http://www.topsurgery.net/faq/

It seems really legit. I liked it.

http://www.trans-health.com/2014/mosser-method-ftm-top-surgery/