#panthony

Angel City - Rhiannon Giddens - Jake Durant/Blaise Zabini from Special Branch (perhaps I should apologize because some of these songs are going to tie back to that series but I’ve been living with those characters for a year, so…) Right, so, when I play this song it makes me think of Jake Durant opening up to Blaise, learning to let himself trust again after breaking up with Harry, and here he is, finally admitting to Blaise (and himself) how he feels. It’s so sweet and careful and gentle of a song, and so filled with hope and love, and the admission that finding the right person can entirely change your life in ways you’d never expect before it happens, and that it can be a slow, steady unfolding of feelings that come just from someone being there beside you when you need them.

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse - Pansy Parkinson/Tony Goldstein, once again from Special Branch Oh, man, this is the whole push-pull of Pansy and Tony in the Special Branch series, particularly at the beginning when we find out she’s been having an affair with him off and on. Pansy knows she shouldn’t be sleeping with Tony—hell, Tony knows he shouldn’t be showing up on her doorstep either, but his marriage has completely fallen apart, he’s separating from his wife, and in a way it’s always been Pansy for him, hasn’t it? He keeps coming back because he loves her, and Pansy has a hard time turning him away because it’s Tony and her feelings for him are complex and convoluted. I love their relationship because of that complexity, that real depth of emotion between the two of them. It’s rough and it’s painful and it’s probably stupid of them both, but I don’t think anyone could look at the two of them and not think they loved each other in their own, possibly fucked-up ways. And that is so fucking Amy Winehouse that it hurts.

Bring it Home to Me - Sam Cooke - Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy Okay, so I have had this mental image in my head since this summer that goes along with this song—Harry and Draco have been together, but they’ve hit a rough patch and Draco’s moved out of their flat. And they’re both desperately missing each other, but they’re too stubborn to admit it, so their friends somehow manipulate them into being in the flat together. Let’s hand wave the details, maybe Draco has to go over to get something Pansy insists he has to return to her, but long story short, they end up in their kitchen with a bottle of wine open, and maybe they’re talking a bit until it gets uncomfortable, and Draco walks over to the radio to turn it on just to have something to fill the awkward silence, and  he’s sipping his wine as he stands there, his back to Harry, and this song starts playing. And then he feels Harry behind him, and Draco turns around to say something sharp and bitter, but Harry takes his wineglass from Draco’s hand, and he curls his fingers through Draco’s and pulls him against him, and they start dancing to this song.

AND THEN I SOB. Because Draco just leans against Harry, and he remembers how much he loves this Gryffindor asshole and he’s been so miserable without him, and when Harry leans in to kiss him, Draco just melts into it.

And then they go upstairs and shag. Thank you, and you’re welcome. (I will literally put this song on repeat to lose myself in that little headcanon fantasy.)

Buckets of Rain - Neko Case - Pansy Parkinson/Althea Whitaker from Special Branch I’m sorry, but there is nothing more Althea Whitaker than Neko Case covering Bob Dylan. Period, end of sentence. When I hear this, I just imagine Althea sitting across the incident room, watching Pansy and being absolutely arse over tit for her. Silently. This is such a wistful, bittersweet song, and I think it’s absolutely perfect for where the two of them are in their relationship right now—that careful, uncertain, quiet attraction that they’re both feeling without necessarily being sure that it’s a good thing or worth possibly ruining their new friendship by admitting to it.

Die A Happy Man - Thomas Rhett - Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger My friends, I will go on record as saying I love Ron fucking Weasley with all my goddamned heart, and while I have written him with other people (and loved those pairings), deep down in my heart I adore him with Hermione. (I will fight anyone who tells me he’s not smart enough for her, not gonna lie.) And this song encapsulates for me exactly how I think Ron loves Hermione—utterly, completely, and with this deep awe that he’s lucky enough to spend his life with this incredible woman. He’s happy with her, thinks she’s beautiful, knows he can’t express to her adequately how grateful he is that she’s chosen this life they have together. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Happily - One Direction - Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles GRYLES, BABY, GRYLES ALWAYS AND FOREVER. From the very first time I heard this song, it encapsulated everything I love about Nick Grimshaw/Harry Styles—that whole idea of I love you, but you had to walk away from me and I miss you, and I’m jealous of this new guy you’re with and fuck it all, I don’t give a fuck what people say about our relationship because all that matters is what we think and you make me happy, baby, so come back to me, be with me, WE’RE ON FIRE NOW.  

*breathes into a paper bag* THAT IS MY GRYLES, YES, THANK YOU. All wrapped up in a bouncy tune that makes me want to sing so freaking loud while having SO. MANY. FEELS. MY GOD THE FEELS. This song I’m clutching close to my heart as my Gryles anthem, lol.

Laid - James - Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy How can you not love this song? It’s the passion and fire of Harry and Draco, that tumultuous fucked-up dynamic they have where they just can’t keep away from each other even when they’re furious with each other, when they want the other to go the fuck away and leave but then it’s like “when are you coming home?” UGH YES, THIS SONG. So much to love about it, so much that’s queered, so much that’s about this messy, wild relationship that might seem destructive but it’s not at heart because there’s this deep, raw love and need for one another underlying the rough sex and angry fights. This is another one of those songs that when I hear it, I will drop everything and dance around the room, singing loudly. I don’t even care if there are people watching; they can fucking join me.

Life in A Northern Town - Dream Academy - Eileen Prince/Tobias Snape; Snape and Lily’s childhood Yeah, so I don’t know how you couldn’t listen to this song and not think about Severus Snape growing up in Cokeworth. I’ve loved this song since I was a teenager, and when I discovered Harry Potter, it became my Snape song. I think it’s just so descriptive of what it was like growing up in Northern England in the 70s, and I can just see a young Snape walking through a grim cobblestoned Yorkshire street hand in hand with his mum, can see him with the Muggle side of his family, can see his parents leaning over their kitchen table, worried about how they were going to make ends meet, arguing about how they’re going to spend Tobias’s meagre pay packet from the mines, Eileen trying to get him to be quiet so Severus doesn’t hear in the other room. I can see Snape sitting in a park with Lily, both of them talking about how they’re going to get out of Cokeworth one day, can see Lily worrying about Snape because her family has a bit more money than his does. I love Snape, I feel for him, and this song makes me think about what it must have been like for him growing up in the North in an impoverished family. I have a lot of Snape feels that I don’t talk about around here a lot because, well, people are rather vicious if you like Snape or are even sympathetic towards him. So. I let myself love him through music.

Marilyn Monroe - Nicki Minaj - Draco Malfoy, solo Oh, you guys, I have never heard a song that makes me pound my fist on the table and shout oh-em-gee Draco fucking Malfoy more than this song does. Frankly, I can see a post-war, twentysomething Draco completely pissed at a club, singing at the top of his lungs to this song, standing up on a table, throwing his arms out and just belting it because this is how he feels, goddamn it, and if you can’t handle his worst, you ain’t getting his best. And across the room, Harry Potter’s watching him, thinking, goddamn that glorious bastard, and when Ron rolls his eyes and says, Merlin, look at him, begging for attention, Harry just mumbles something in agreement but he cannot take his eyes off Draco because Draco Malfoy is fucking incandescent up there on that table, singing his heart out, and that just might be the moment Harry falls in love with him.

Moment of Forgiveness - Indigo Girls -  Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy So, when you come out as a wlw, you’re given a toaster and an Indigo Girls album, lolz. But for real, when I started to come to terms with being queer,  my best friend at the time actually did give me the Indigo Girls, and I listened to them non-stop for a year because queer representation, my friends. It meant the world to me. This is still one of my favorite songs of theirs. (Also, I’m not going to lie, I would still totally climb ALL OVER Amy Ray, and my wife is good with that because so would she.)

ANYWAY. For me, this is one of those Harry and Draco have been broken up for ages songs, but they still pine over each other. None of their friends understand why, but they just can’t move on, even when they date other people. And then one night, Harry shows up at Draco’s door and Draco lets him in. Their reconciliation is fragile and uncertain, and Draco’s still bitter, but he misses Harry so goddamn much, and he needs him. And something happens, and they fight again—let’s be real, Draco caused it because he’s trying to push Harry away again—and Draco’s certain it’s over, that this is it, that he has to get Harry out of his system.

And then he’s walking out of his building a few weeks later in the middle of a downpour, and Harry’s standing there, soaked, just looking at him from across the street, and everything breaks loose inside of Draco as they walk towards each other, and they’re standing in the middle of a zebra crossing, just looking at each other in the rain, while cars are going past them, honking, and Harry holds out his hand, and then Draco’s in his arms, kissing him while the rain soaks them both.

Someone New -Hozier - Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy Let’s be honest, I’m a Drarry writer, so this list is obvis super heavy towards the Drarry side of things. For me, this song is Harry, bitter and angry after a breakup with Draco, and he wants to lash out, wants to hurt Draco, so he starts sleeping around with anyone he can find, just one-night stands, one after another, and half the time he doesn’t even know or remember their name; he’s just trying to erase the memory of Draco fucking Malfoy. And it doesn’t work because every time he sleeps with someone new, he just thinks about Draco more and more until he finds himself knocking on the door to Draco’s flat, and when Draco opens the door they just look at each other,  silent until Harry says, a bit brokenly, “I need you, you bastard,” and Draco draws in a ragged breath, and he opens the door, closing it as Harry steps through.

(God, I seem to really like angsty reunions.)

True Love - Pink (ft. Lily Allen) - Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy Yes, yes, yes, this is Harry and Draco, five or six years into their relationship. Maybe they’re even married at this point, and they’ve gone through a lot of shit to get to this point. They’ve broken up at least once—maybe twice—and they fight at least once a week, but by now they’ve learned the right way to fight, and they have a hell of a lot of communication skills and they can say to each other, “goddamn you fucker, you are irritating the shit out of me, but I love you so bloody much.” And they’re going to make it, they’re going to have this amazing, incredible love story that’ll last their whole lives because they talk things through, and they know how much they need each other, and they’ve chosen to be together, they’ve done the hard work to get to this place, and they’re going to keep doing it because this is True Love and they damned well know it.

And there you go!  Um, as far as tagging goes…honestly, I'm not sure who has or hasn't done this meme. If you haven’t done this yet, and you love music, please consider yourself tagged IMMEDIATELY, and please @ me so that I can read it and flail with you about music. <3 <3